Being Bipolar

Late in 2010 I went public, on this blog, with having bipolar disorder. More technically referred-to as manic-depressive illness. It is a condition which I have come to understand has been with me throughout my life, but only really "cranked-up" in my mid-twenties.

Bipolar disorder has, in so many words, made my life hell. It has led to the loss of so many opportunities. It has almost landed me in jail. It has been financially debilitating. Worst of all, it has led to the destruction of too many relationships than I can readily count. One of those relationships was a marriage. And I will forever be asking God why it is that He let me have this disease when it has wiped out so much.

But in spite of all of that, I have to believe that there is some purpose to it all. That God didn't make this disease, but He did allow for it so that somehow it would serve in the grander scheme of things. In that regard, I should be thankful. And I do have to be thankful. Confronting a mind turned against myself has made me stronger as a person. It still is.

Blogging about being bipolar has become one of the most rewarding aspects of maintaining this site. Manic-depression has cost me a lot of happiness and potential joy. But it has also led to many telling me that my writing has been a boon to them. I am not one to brag at all. But hearing things like that from others does make me feel that this really is all worthwhile.

Being Bipolar resulted from a choice I made to publicly disclose my condition. Soon afterward I was featured in a story aired by one of the most respected local news broadcasts in the country. The feedback was immediate and startling: people asked me to write more about it. I set out to give them what they wanted. And so Being Bipolar was born.

Below you will find the complete series thus far. In 2013 I took a sabbatical from writing for Being Bipolar so that I could focus on writing a book. Circumstances obligated me to "take a break" from that project and only in 2018 have I been able to turn some attention back to this series. So that being said, more will be added as time allows. You can also find general posts associated with bipolar disorder by following this link.

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Part 1: "The Tale of the Two Chris Knights"

Part 2: "Sketching Unquiet"

Part 3: "The Hell Curve"

Video Log 1:
Introduction

Video Log 2:
Depressive Episode #1, "I Want To Live"

Part 4: "A Darklier Abyss"

Video Log 3:
"Hurt"

Video Log 4:
Hyper-Manic Episode #1a

Video Log 5:
Hyper-Manic Episode #1b

Part 5: "God and Mental Illness"

Video Log 6:
"Please, God..."

Video Log 7:
"God, Happiness, Yoda, ATLAS SHRUGGED, Weird Al, and Charlie Sheen"

Part 6:
"Back In The Saddle Again"

Part 7:
"Taste The Rainbow"

Part 8:
"Illumination"