Iraqi militants are nothing: thank God he wasn't captured by Destro or Dr. Colossus

Geez, I'm kicking myself hard about this. When this picture first broke on the 'net I looked at it and the first thought was "That doesn't look like a real person... it looks more like a doll." But that got dismissed fast. It seemed too silly, only 'cuz I knew that these terrorists, as evil as they are, surely couldn't be THAT dumb, right?

Right?!?

From My Way News:

Web Site Claims GI Captured in Iraq

Feb 1, 3:03 PM (ET)
By ROBERT H. REID

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement Tuesday to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners. The U.S. military said it was investigating, but the claim's authenticity could not be immediately confirmed.

The posting, on a Web site that frequently carried militants' statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless, and the photo's authenticity could not be confirmed.

A gun barrel was pointed at his head, and behind him on the wall is a black banner emblazoned with the Islamic profession of faith, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His prophet."

A U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad, Marine Sgt. Salju K. Thomas, said he had no information on the claim but "we are currently looking into it..."

A statement posted with the picture suggested the group was holding other soldiers...

Okay, I guess they really ARE that stupid, after all:

'Captured GI' A Real Doll

BAGHDAD, Feb. 1, 2005

(AP) The U.S. military said Tuesday that no American soldiers have been reported missing in Iraq after a Web statement claimed that an American soldier had been taken hostage.

The posting, on a Web site that frequently carries militants' statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back.

But the authenticity of the statement and photo could not be verified, and Liam Cusack, of the toy manufacturer Dragon Models USA, Inc., said the image of the soldier portrayed in the photo bore a striking resemblance to the African-American version of its "Cody" military action figure.

"It is our doll ... to me it definitely looks like it is," Cusack said. "Everything the guy is wearing is exactly what comes with our figure."

He said the figures were ordered by the U.S. military in Kuwait for sale in their bases, "so they would have been in region."

In Baghdad, Staff Sgt. Nick Minecci of the U.S. military's press office in Baghdad said "no units have reported anyone missing."

The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless.

In the photo, a gun barrel was pointed at the head of the man's figure, and behind him on the wall was a black banner emblazoned with the Islamic profession of faith, "There is no god but God and Muhammad is His prophet..."

At this hour President Bush is considering what few options are available toward rescuing Private First Class Cody, and reportedly is now discussing the situation with Steve Austin and the Bionic Bigfoot.