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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Ham sandwiches are now a hate crime

Be careful when putting your Quizno's sub on a table: it might be investigated as a hate crime. Here's the story from Boston.com:
Police investigate ham incident at school

April 19, 2007

LEWISTON, Maine --Police are investigating as a possible hate crime an incident in which a ham steak was placed in a bag on a lunch table where a group of Somali students were sitting.

Such an incident would be offensive to Somalis, who are Muslims and consider pork unclean.

A Lewiston Middle School student was suspended after the incident, which happened April 11.

Superintendent Leon Levesque said the incident is being treated seriously and police are investigating. The center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to devise a response plan.

The incident is the second of its kind in Lewiston in recent months. Last summer, a man rolled a pig's head into a mosque in Lewiston, which has a large Somali population. A court later ordered the man to stay away from the mosque.

This past week I've gotten the sense that this country has completely come unhinged from the locomotive. When the location of a ham sandwich is found to be "offensive" by some people and turned into an issue for law enforcement, you know we've gone over the edge.

I'm thinking of starting my own religion. It's called Knightiology. And one of the tenets of Knightiology is that mayonnaise is an affront to my faith. If anyone brings a sandwich with mayonnaise near me, I'm going to scream about how insensitive I'm being treated and have the police investigate it as a hate crime.

Now, wouldn't that be the stupidest thing, if I really did that?

Isn't it the stupidest thing that we have to be careful with our ham sandwiches now for fear of "offending" someone?

I wonder what would happen if I had some pork rinds shipped to the local mosque...

4 comments:

Jenna St.Hilaire said...

Even if that was meant to irritate the Somalis, I think detention would have sufficed. "Hate crime" is far too strong a sentence for that deed. The pig's head, an act of desecration, could be punished more severely, but ham on a public cafeteria table?

qemuel said...

Big difference between a ham sandwich left on a table and a PIG'S HEAD ROLLED INTO A MOSQUE.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are approaching critical mass...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chris Knight said...

#1, I don't appreciate profanity. #2, you just admitted to a felony and #3 despite posting as "anonymous" I have your IP address. Please be mindful of these things the next time you post a comment.