11 years

To those who will understand...

I've made it this far. That's now a third of my life, that I've spent doing this.

And I haven't given up.

I know there were times that I came close. But I still didn't surrender.

The things that I have done, the places where I have been and the things yet to come: I claim credit for none of these. They only came about because of you. And I was never thankful enough for that.

I wish that I could have been the person then, that I am now. Because I didn't know then what I do now. I didn't possess the understanding or wisdom. And I still don't possess enough of it.

But I have enough now, to know some of the things that I did and how wrong they were. It's now that there isn't a day that goes by, that I can't reflect on what I've done. And have regret for what happened and for what might have been. Especially for what might have been.

My one great hope comes from something that I've come to understand over the years: that for all our schemes and devices, there are patterns and designs at work beyond our will that can neither be undone, or even assisted.

If it is meant that someday we will see each other on this side of Heaven, then I will be glad beyond all measure. And if not, then I will go the rest of my days with the hope that we will yet meet again beyond the circles of this world.

To my enemies: I am betraying nothing to you. Other than the wisdom that you turn back, as I should have done, lest you come to regret. I would save you the sorrow that I have known.

To my friends, however long-absent and wherever you are, if you read this:

Gird up, and be ready.