BREAKING HARD: Johnny Robertson arrested at the Vatican! Cult leader threatened Pope! Son critical after shot by papal bodyguards! Nuncio "furious"!

UPDATE 04/02/2009: Please click here for major new developments in this story!

The damned lunatic has finally gone too far. And not all the pathetic PowerPoint charts on his laptop can possibly save him now.

Local cult leader Johnny Robertson of the "Martinsville Church of Christ" - the very same individual who has harassed many churches in the area and has sought to inflict his own warped brand of "Christianity" with rude force and heartless lies - has been arrested in Vatican City following what is being called a "coordinated and persistent attempt" to threaten Pope Benedict XVI within the very Papal Apartments of the Apostolic Palace!

Behold the front page of today's New York Post, screaming the over-the-top sins of Henry County, Virginia's most rabid mad dog for all the world to see...

Robertson's 16-year old son Micah Robertson is also in critical condition at a Rome hospital after being shot in the abdomen by the Papal Swiss Guard. Micah Robertson apparently made a threatening gesture with what seemed to have been a weapon, but was found to have been a concealed video camera.

Fellow cult member James Oldfield was subsequently apprehended by Rome Police and is being held for questioning.

Johnny Robertson himself is currently being detained by the Gendarme Corps of Vatican City State in a security station adjoining Saint Peter's Basilica. Inspector General Domenico Giani is said to have personally taken charge of the investigation of "this most grievous and uncivil affront to the safety of the Holy Father."

And top Catholic officials from the Vatican to the Apostolic Nunciature in Washington D.C. are reportedly "furious" at what is being called "the biggest diplomatic incident between the Holy See and another state since the Noriega/Papal Nuncio situation in 1989."

Here is what I've been told by Hank Vorjes of the New York Post (which allowed this blog to break the cover after I provided the image of Johnny Robertson on short notice): late Monday afternoon Johnny Robertson, Micah Robertson and James Oldfield arrived via commercial airliner in Rome. After securing accommodations the trio immediately made their way to Vatican City: recognized by the Lateran Treaty as its own sovereign state. Upon entering Saint Peter's Square the elder Robertson and Oldfield approached two Swiss Guards and asked to be directed to "the pope's house". The guards refused, judging the three to be "suspicious". Not to be deterred, Robertson led his cult members toward what he said must be "the pastor's office". This turned out to have been none other than the main gate of the Apostolic Palace: the location of the Papal Apartments.

By this time it was getting to be late afternoon and Johnny Robertson, impatient, accosted three of the Papal Gentlemen who were entering the palace. Robertson Sr. informed the Gentlemen that he was "a preacher with the 'Church of Christ'" and that he had "information" that he wanted to "share with you all". Robertson and Oldfield then tried to press numerous DVDs into the hands of the Papal Gentlemen, who refused and later informed Maestro di Camera del Papa James Michael Harvey - himself an American - of the incident.

Then yesterday afternoon, Johnny and Micah Robertson and James Oldfield returned to the Apostolic Palace. Only this time the cult members changed tactics: Johnny Robertson produced credentials for a fictitious organization called "Religious Review Multimedia" and asked to see "the person in charge". He was told that he would have to make an appointment with Prefect Harvey. Robertson refused this and violently insisted that the people inside the palace "are all afraid of me!" and demanded to be allowed inside so that he could "debate" with Pope Benedict XVI. Robertson and his comrades were asked to leave, at which point Robertson started screaming "There is not a preacher in this town that knows as much Bible as I do!" and that "I will make him look so bad!" if he were to meet the Pope. Swiss Guards were called to the scene and attempted to herd Robertson and his cronies away from the gate. "This is going on YouTube, just so you know!" he was heard to tell them.

Approximately one hour later, due to circumstances which at this time are still being investigated, an alarm was sounded throughout the Apostolic Palace. Additional Vatican gendarmerie rushed to the scene and were told that an intruder had entered the inner sanctum of the Papal Apartments: the Pope's private residence. Minutes later Johnny Robertson was arrested at gunpoint after being found "banging ferociously" on what he assumed was the Holy Father's office. As he was dragged away, Johnny Robertson shouted atop his lungs that "I'm presenting myself just like Jesus did! Nobody could answer Him. That's what I'm doing. These guys can't answer me!" and "I would wrap that stuff around their necks!"

Immediately following Johnny Robertson's removal from the building, a number of Papal Gentlemen indicated to the Papal bodyguards the presence of Micah Robertson, who attempted to flee the scene. The guards ordered the junior Robertson to halt but he refused, instead moving to produce what was thought at the time was an automatic weapon. One of the guards instinctively shot Micah Robertson with a SIG P225: the standard sidearm of the Swiss Guards. Micah immediately fell and was rushed at by both Swiss Guards and gendarmerie. A BBC World News camera at the scene happened to catch the drama as it happened. The "weapon" turned out to be a well-concealed video camera that the younger Robertson had apparently been using to covertly interview random individuals in Saint Peter's Square without their knowledge.

Papal guards quickly assured officials that Pope Benedict XVI was not in danger, and was in fact having an audience in another portion of the Apostolic Palace at the time.

With the elder Robertson remanded into custody and the younger being rushed to a nearby hospital, Vatican police alerted their colleagues in the greater Rome metropolitan area to be on the lookout for the third confederate. James Oldfield was arrested a few blocks away from St. Peter's Square.

The story in the New York Post is describing Robertson's "Church of Christ" as a "lunatic fringe movement" that has nothing in common with the mainstream Churches of Christ. Indeed, Robertson's "Martinsville Church of Christ" is being likened to the Taliban, and Robertson himself described as a "Jim Jones" type who has declared himself to be "God" on more than one occasion. Reporter Hank Vorjes of the New York Post has asked for my cooperation in securing interviews with former members of the cult, who will likely be eager to tell all now that Robertson is behind bars in one of the most tightly-secured pieces of geography on the planet. Of particular interest to Vatican officials is how Robertson, an "uncouth, illiterate" convicted felon who served time for armed robbery, managed to even get outside his own country and into Italy. Vatican and Italian ambassadorial staff are reportedly in contact with the United States Embassy about the incident: the first serious diplomatic abrasion between the two countries since the United States military laid siege in 1989 to the Papal Nuncio in Panama, where ousted strongman Manuel Noriega had found sanctuary.

And that is all I know at the moment, folks. But I'll be posting new details as they become available.

And I never thought that Johnny Robertson would be so insane as to bring his deranged war right to the headquarters of the Roman Catholic Church. Some might call that "brave". I call it "being a blithering idiot."

More as this hard-hitting story develops...

Categories: april fools, church of christ, cults, italy, james oldfield, johnny robertson, micah robertson, pope benedict xvi, roman catholic church, rome, terrorism