He shot his wife with toilet paper

I would pay good money to see that headline depicted as an illustration in the National Police Gazette.

It happened folks... and not just anywhere but right here in Reidsville, North Carolina (though more than a few friends have noted that this sort of thing is already inherent to this town's nature).

Here's the story from Fox 8 WGHP...

A 55-year-old North Carolina woman was taken to the hospital after her husband loaded a gun with toilet paper and shot her in the back early Tuesday morning, according to the Rockingham County Sheriff's Office.

Lonnie Irvin Pinnix, 38, of 951 Garrison Rd., was charged with assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly shooting his wife after she returned to their home shortly after midnight.

According to the sheriff's office, Darlene Pinnix came home and found her husband agitated. She lay down on the bed, but Lonnie Pinnix held a pistol and told her to get up. Before she could, he fired, hitting her in the back.

Darlene Pinnix suffered a powder burn from the gunshot. She was taken to the hospital for treatment.

Lonnie Pinnix told police he loaded the pistol with toilet paper instead of bullets and shot his wife because she would not leave.

His bond was set at $1,000. He's scheduled to appear in court August 11.

I know this area has been hit especially hard by the economic downturn... but it's still pretty bad when a man has been reduced to loading his shootin' irons with toilet paper. I mean, if you're going to get serious with non-lethal loads, at least consider using a 12-gauge double-barreled shotgun firing a load of rock salt...

Let's see Charmin or Scott do that!