CBS produces pilot for reboot of THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW! Modern MAYBERRY to star Kevin Sorbo as Sheriff Taylor, Aunt Bea as closet lesbian!

Keep in mind that what you're about to read is as of right now a pilot episode and maybe not even that much.  I thought it noteworthy that the CBS execs are describing this not as a pilot but as a "proof of concept".  Meaning the idea is being explored but it may not go any further and I doubt it will.  But hey, stranger things have happened in Hollyweird...

MAYBERRY pilot episode title card.  Copyright CBS Television

Entertainment and celebrity gossip website TMZ.com is reporting this morning that CBS Television head honchos have sanctioned and produced a pilot for Mayberry: a modern-age remake of the network's classic Sixties comedy The Andy Griffith Show.  Seems that when star Andy Griffith passed away last summer his last will and testament stipulated that CBS would enjoy uncontested rights to do with the show - along with spinoff Mayberry RFD - as it saw fit.  With CBS seeing success in its reboot of Hawaii Five-0, execs thought that the time was ripe for a return to Mayberry.  The pilot itself was shot in early January.

So what's Mayberry like? From the article by TMZ reporter Istvan Teleky...

The 22-minute "proof of concept" has Kevin Sorbo (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) as Andy Taylor: Sheriff of a Mayberry for the new millennium. Sorbo's Taylor served two years in Iraq before PTSD sent him back home. No longer willing to carry a gun, Taylor returns to find his wife tragically killed and left to be a single father to son Opie (child actor newcomer Ralf Paydosilo). Barney Fife - voted by Entertainment Weekly as the greatest sitcom character of all time - now has borderline personality disorder and is played by Dominic Monaghan. The "pilot" also sees Steve Buscemi in a brief appearance as Ernest T. Bass and lovable town drunk Otis Campbell portrayed by Dennis Franz. Mayberry's most startling departure is The Carol Burnett Show sweetheart Vicki Lawrence as Aunt Bea: a closet lesbian whose feelings for Clara Edwards provide much of the pilot's laugh fodder. Some CBS officials expressed concern in one scene where Opie asks "Pa, what does 'masturbate' mean?"  However Sorbo is adamant about keeping Mayberry "clean and family friendly" and is demanding an executive producer role as well.

TMZ reports that several scripts are already prepared should the pilot go to series. One is a retelling of the legendary "The Loaded Goat" episode, which true to "modern sensibilities" finds the Town of Mayberry sued by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals after dynamite-gorged Jimmy the Goat explodes outside the town's only Planned Parenthood clinic. But despite such liberties, CBS execs are determined that the time is ripe for "a return to cornpone hayseed humor the likes of which hasn't been seen since Fred Silverman's 1970 'Rural Purge'."

Steve Buscemi as Ernest T. Bass.  Good Lord, I must see that someday!  But with that said: this thing sounds horrible.  It should be given a burial at sea courtesy of the bathroom toilet.  Putting jokes about masturbation into The Andy Griffith Show?  Whoever came up with that oughtta be burned at the stake for blasphemy...

Categories: april fools, cbs, comedy, television, the andy griffith show, what the hell were they thinking