I have had a love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving, for a complexity of reasons. It's the materialism that comes afterward that especially disgusts me. Once upon a time, the day after Thanksgiving could be a time of wonder and good cheer. It was perfect people-watching season, and in general those people were nicer and more considerate to one another. But those days are gone and in its place are hordes of zombies out of The Walking Dead hungry for
(That's a run-on sentence. Miss Jones, forgive me.)
There. That's my rant about Black Friday for the year. No clever posts about "Seasons Beatings", I promise.
On the other hand, Thanksgiving is a great triumph for me. And I'll tell you why. It's because when I was growing up, Thanksgiving really did become something to dread. Some people in my family turned it into a vicious occasion for insults and put-downs and somehow I always seemed to be the one most on the receiving end of it. Who was most responsible for that, I'll leave as an exercise for the reader. Suffice to say however, the stereotypical "ruined Thanksgiving"...
...yeah, that was mine. That was the hell I had to endure year after year after year, because of some who I recognize now were genuine psychopaths and generally mean individuals who didn't care for the real meaning of Thanksgiving.
So finally came the day when I took it back. Made it my turn. When I took Thanksgiving and had it never be a cause for fear again. I did something that inadvertently made them grateful that I was really there, and not just the proverbial "kid at the card table".
Because I came to be the one who could deep-fry the turkey that they suddenly became very glad they were enjoying in all its juicy succulent glory. Nobody in the family had ever done anything like that before. The years of dry meat were vanquished. Chris and his crazy dangerous stunt provided a meal that one family member quietly told me was the best Thanksgiving dinner that he/she had ever enjoyed. And suddenly Chris was the one the family was always looking to for providing the turkey on Thanksgiving and then at Christmas too.
I had taken back Thanksgiving. It's my holiday now. And maybe I appreciate it better than some, who will remain anonymous for their own sake. Thanksgiving is not a time for airing of grievances among loved ones or political disputes or making game plans for when the big boxes' doors swing wide open (and that is the last I'll say for this year)...
I've seen all of those and more and they disgust me.
But I'm not going to harbor on those anymore. I've said my piece, for anyone who might glean some wisdom from those words.
No, I want to get back to something that too many have forgotten and that I will confess that I have neglected in recent years: the real reason for Thanksgiving.
America is unique among all nations, perhaps. Although there have been some, like our friends in Canada and Liberia (where I am told the Southern accent is spoken most beautifully) who have adopted the custom. We created a holiday to render thanks for blessings we have accumulated but far from deserve. I like to believe that those blessings come about from the grace of God, or divine Providence, or whatever else you want to call some higher source of righteousness.
It is a day that, I must lament, I have been lax in my own duty toward.
The past number of years did take a toll on my thankfulness. But it's a funny thing about this past week. I found myself looking around and, for all that could still be better, I've more reason to be thankful than I have in a very, very long while. And maybe it's time to render honor to God for that. Because in my better moments (which might be coming more and more) I can indeed thank God for those blessings.
So I'm going to try to start a tradition on The Knight Shift: one that has been too long overdue. I'm going to compose a list of things I'm thankful for, and try to follow through on it for as long as this blog stays on the air (almost sixteen years already!).
Without further ado, here is my Thanksgiving 2019 Gratitude Post...
I am thankful to have, for the first time in my life, a home to truly call my very own. Y'all should see the giant Fallout poster that I hung in my living room last night. Just what this place needed: Vault Boy giving his iconic "thumbs-up" to meet the day with.
I am thankful for my (still fairly new) job, and for team members and supervisor, who are more gracious than I merit and can roll with me when I'm having an "off" day. They also, it bears mentioning, totally rock!
Part and parcel with that, I am thankful for my training and certification as a peer support specialist. Maybe I'll stop being cheap and finally get that sheepskin hung on my office wall soon.
I am thankful for my miniature dachshund Tammy, who guards the place while I'm gone and persists in being my F.L.A.W. (fuzzy little attention whore). She has also, it goes without saying, been a most faithful and trusty companion through many adventures and I'm looking to many more with her.
I am thankful for my new turkey fryer - it just arrived yesterday - that will at least be making Christmas dinner this year:
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| We're back in business bay-beeeeee!!! |
I am thankful for my writing ability which seems to be coming back. Writing has always been a gift I have tried to cultivate and further, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. Maybe a book or two (or three)?
I am thankful that God has brought a wonderful woman into my... no wait, that hasn't happened yet. I will be more thankful than I've ever been in the history of anything if He might still could do that. And if you are a potential lass who I could court, write me at theknightshift@gmail.com!
I am thankful for my iPad Pro, and all the myriad of uses that have been found for it. Speaking of which: hey guys, Eve Echoes starts open beta next week! Let's get our corporation going so we can get the jump on those Russian mobsters!
I am thankful that I am overcoming my fear of the kitchen and have begun cooking real food lately. The memories of those creamed potatoes during that Boy Scout camping trip no longer haunt me.
I am thankful for good health. Including my mental health... which, I am coming to realize, could have been much worse than bipolar disorder and PTSD. I am not nearly enough thankful that, compared to some, I have it fairly easy. And I hope that God never lets me forget that.
I am thankful that Star Wars seems to be back on the right track, and am hoping that in 21 days a lifetime of waiting for all nine episodes will be gloriously satisfied with The Rise of Skywalker.
I am thankful for my friends, who truly are as dear family to me. They have been with me in the good times and have somehow endured me in the bad. Again, a blessing that I don't deserve but how I ended up with such amazing people in my life, I will never ever know on this side of eternity.
I am thankful for the family I am still close to. May we have many more years of good times and great memories.
I am thankful that in the past few months, I have been able to confront and overcome some issues of my past, and stop them from hanging over me. The first part of this post? That's part of that process. It was a hard thing to accomplish, but it needed it more than most will ever know.
I am thankful for one best friend's little girl, who is like a niece to me. And I am thankful for another best friend who is soon to become a father to his own little girl. "Uncle Chris" is gonna be playing Santa like a madman next Christmas.
I am thankful for another best friend still, who I could not have gotten to where I am today without her prayers and encouragement and, when needed, kicking my tail to help me get back on the path again.
I am thankful for new beginnings.
I am thankful that there may be be many more things to be thankful for, that are slipping my mind at this late hour.
I am thankful that God has let me get this far and I pray that He will continue to let me keep going just a little further.
I am thankful.
And I thank you for getting to the end of this post, all two of my faithful readers!
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