I know what I want to write. And it is wonderful. The problem is that I'm not quite "all there" tonight. Blame seasonal allergies and Yours Truly trying some exotic antihistamines yesterday that kept me up all night. I worked through the day (and drove almost seventy miles in the course of duties) with barely a break. And I'm still hoping to catch tonight's championship game...
(For this occasion alone, I will root for University of North Carolina. Gotta cheer for the home team.)
But I'll give it a shot.
I have known all along about surrendering to God. At least, that's the head knowledge. The heart of the matter however, that is something else. It takes almost a supreme effort to lay down our hopes and dreams, giving them to God, and letting Him make of them what He will.
I had to let go of some things that I wanted. And instead, I had to make do with the things that I already have. But in making an inventory of that, I found that I was very blessed indeed. I have my dog Tammy. We have shelter and food to eat. I have a car (it's got over 200,000 miles on it but still going fine).
My mind is my own again. And I think that this exercise of blogging for Lent has been wildly productive. It has brought me back into the realm of writing on a regular basis. In the past few weeks I've written my first short story in almost four years.
I have a job that I love, that lets me help people on a daily basis. As of this week I've been at it for three years. Once upon a time that would have been impossible.
It's a really neat trick: start making yourself thankful for what you have, no matter how little it may seem. Don't even think about what you lack. Just be happy, knowing that you have been cared for by God. And I have to believe that this applies to any living situation, no matter how dire.
I had to shut up and appreciate what I have, in order for God to get to work.
And lately, He has been doing a work in my life that I could not believe, though it be told me (to paraphrase Habakkuk 1:5).
It only took me two and a half decades to understand. I suppose better late than never though, aye?
I may have something more to share in the coming days, along this line of thought.
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