And hey, I've got a dog too.
The Tramp. Charlie Chaplin's classic character. Seemingly forever making his way from one set of experiences on to another. A life of un-sedentary misadventures. And that's where I've wound up once more, also.
I've had to find out the hard way that my training and experiences in regard to working with adults in the mental health field, do not necessarily translate into something that can also work with some children. And neither is my academic background as a student of secondary education pedagogy, plus time spent teaching middle schoolers, very adaptable toward helping young people with severe special needs.
There is much more that could be said about what happened but I'll keep those thoughts to myself. I believe that I was giving it my best, and I can hold my head high about that. I'm a very hard worker, I always give something not less than my greatest effort. A lot of people will attest to that. But as friends have reminded me in the past two days it's not a perfect world. I have to try to remember that.
In the meantime, I'm trying to keep hold to my faith. Trying to cease questioning myself about if I am not thankful enough, because I truly believe that I was thankful and still am. Is all of this some kind of test from God? Is He wanting to see how well I hold up under the pressure of it all? Is He entertained, by watching me holding on by my fingernails for the past few years?
I know. What I'm going through right now isn't peculiar to me. A lot of people in recent years have had to struggle. Many are having it even worse off than I'll ever know. There again, I should be thankful. For the time being I still have a roof over my head. I'm not feasting every night but neither am I starving. I have my beloved dog Tammy (who is lately determined to drive me batty with her new ball that she keeps getting stuck underneath everything!). Mental issues aside I am in very excellent health for someone who will be 51 next month. Some don't get to say such things. So I suppose on a level playing field, I'm doing all right, more or less.
I just wish that I could once again have a career with meaning and purpose that would provide for my needs. I'm not interested in being "wealthy". It doesn't take much to make me happy. And I'd seriously love a real crack at having that.
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