There is a lot on my plate right now. I'm having to figure some things out. Time is not on my side. But sometimes things percolate to the surface of my mind that I haven't thought about in years, or even decades. And that's what happened today.
Waaaay back in 2001 and thereabouts I was on the staff of TheForce.net, which at the time was the biggest website devoted to Star Wars on the whole heapin' web. It wasn't long after I came onboard that I volunteered to take the vacant position of humor editor. That was my main job for the next two and a half years, and it was a lot of fun! I got to see quite a bit of reader-generated funny stuff that almost always left me smiling.
One of the things that I got to curate as humor editor was song parodies. And they were out the wazoo. There were tons of spoofs of well-known tunes that got the Star Wars treatment. They were quite clever. Here they are, still archived away on TheForce.net after all these years.
It was so much fun reading the song parodies, that I found myself wanting to write one of my own. I wracked my gray matter trying to come up with something that would be on the level of the material that our readers were submitting. Finally, one day an idea hit like a bolt of lightning. I had the lyrics written in less than twenty minutes. Then I shared my creation with the rest of the staff: it needed to pass muster with them before I could post it alongside the works of our readers. The staff approved. And so I shared my parody with the world.
It's a bit of a product of its time. We had plenty of insider knowledge of Star Wars Episode II, but as you can see, especially with the reference to clones, I was a little off. But it don't matter. That makes it even more an artifact of its era.
So without further ado, here is my saga-fied parody.
Boy's In The Boonta
Parody of "Cat's In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin
New Lyrics by Chris Knight
Found a child just the other day
Came to the world in an unusual way
He's got no dad, and his mom is a slave
He races pods in the desert haze
And he was flying 'fore we knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, "gonna use the Force like you, yeah
I'm gonna use the Force like you"
And the boy's in the Boonta racing on the dune
Against a Dug and a Tusken or two
"Weesa going home soon?"
"We don't know when, but he'll be a Jedi then,
You know he'll be a Jedi then"
Got to Coruscant just the other day
He was strong in the Force, Yoda had to say
"Can you teach me the Force?" They said "Not today,
You're too old to learn," he said "That's okay"
He walked away, but he smiled at Qui-Gon Jinn
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the boy's in the Boonta racing on the dune
Little punk makin' the bad guys go boom
Is he a Padawan now?
He don't know when, but he'll be a Jedi then,
You know he'll be a Jedi then
Well, he met Lord Sidious just the other day
Became a Sith, Kenobi had to say
"I'm ashamed of you, you're now evil and vile"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"You're being a pest Ben, like stinkin' Bantha fur fleas
What you doing? Not that lava please!"
And the boy's in the Boonta racing on the dune
Fought the Federation, clones and Dooku
When'd the bad breathing come?
We don't know when, but he turned to the Dark Side then,
You know he had the Dark Side then
He's long been a Darth. His kids hid away.
He fought his son just the other day.
"Come to the Dark Side if you don't mind."
Luke said "I'm a Jedi, Dad, of the Lighter Side
You see my friends are my strength and the Emperor's through,
But it's sure nice fightin' with you Dad.
It's been sure nice fightin' with you."
And as he cut off the hand Luke could plainly see
"He grew up just like me,
MY DAD IS JUST LIKE ME!"
And the boy's in the Boonta racing on the dune
Palpatine's screaming down a mile or two
Will Vader be a ghost now?
He don't know when
But he'll be a Jedi then,
You know he'll be a Jedi then
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