It was Professor Plum, in the kitchen, with the wrench

So about thirty years after I initially learned about it, this past weekend I finally played my very first game of Clue.

Up 'til now, my only real exposure to the Clue franchise was the 1985 film, which had three different endings. I got introduced to that back in college, by roomie/now filmmaking partner "Weird" Ed Woody. I told him then that Clue was always a game that I'd wanted to try but never had the chance.

That finally came on Sunday afternoon. It was raining hard in Norfolk (while everyone back home was getting snowed hard upon) and instead of going out, the four of us opted to stay in and watch movies, play games and such. And so it was that Clue was brought out.

I didn't know anything about the actual rules, but I quickly was brought up to speed. For my piece I chose Mrs. Peacock, only because she was already on the side of the board that I was sitting on.

And I didn't win. That honor belonged to our friend Grace. But I had a heck of a fun time! Lord willing we have some children ('cuz Clue needs 3-6 players) I'm definitely gonna invest in a copy of this game.

So that's one more thing scratched off my "Must Do Before I Die" list. Now if I can only see a real tornado. And live long enough to see Elon's basketball team go to the NCAA Tournament...

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No Verbinski, no! Make BIOSHOCK instead! PLEASE!

The last time I heard any news about Gore Verbinski (who helmed the Pirates of the Caribbean movies for Disney), he was gearing up to direct the big-screen adaptation of the video game BioShock. And Universal was said to be wanting it to come out in the summer of 2010.

Apparently, plans have changed.

The Hollywood Reporter is breaking the word that Verbinski will be working for Universal all right... but on a feature film version of the board game Clue.

I wish to heck that I were making this up.

Look, here's the thing: Clue has already been done! It was a movie that came out in December 1985 starring Tim Curry, Christopher Lloyd, Madeline Kahn and Martin Mull (among others). And it was a good movie, as its now-cult status has proven. If you've never had the pleasure, I would definitely recommend getting it via NetFlix or whatever. The gimmick of Clue the movie is that they filmed three different endings, so depending on which theater (or which screen at that theater, as some carried more than one version) you went to see it at, there was possibly a whole different outcome of the story. It was a brilliant take on the rules of the classic game.

Trust me: this is one movie that doesn't need to be remade. It is well enough on its own, still today. But Hollywood now seems hellbent on exploiting board games as its next "money-making" genre, what with Ridley Scott directing Monopoly, Michael Bay producting Ouija Board and Ethan Cohen writing the script for Candyland (?!?!?).

Gore Verbinski, if you ever read this: I'm begging you good sir, please... don't do this. There's nothing wrong with BioShock. That's a movie you were born to direct. Trust me: there's nothing but grief that can possibly come from another Clue. In the name of all that's good and holy, I urge you to reconsider.

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