DUKE NUKEM FOREVER is out TODAY!

Yes, it really is! I even went out late yesterday evening along with good friend/fellow blogger and Eagle Scout Steven Glaspie to be at the local GameStop for the midnight release, just to behold it with our own eyes.

But that wound up not being good enough. I had to have some tactile sensation of it as well, so I bought a copy of the standard edition.

And though I hadn't planned on it, I wound up shooting and then editing together a lil' film to document the event for posterity. This is the first time that I've ever put together a movie with an iOS device. May this be the first of many more to come :-)

Anyhoo, here is... Vaporware Nevermore!

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DUKE NUKEM FOREVER is finished! Yes, really...

This has to be a SERIOUS sign that the Apocalypse truly is upon us!

When game studio 3D Realms started work on Duke Nukem Forever in 1996, Bill Clinton was winding down his first term as U.S. President. "Broadband Internet" meant a 56K modem. The first Star Wars prequel was only in pre-production. You could board a commercial airliner without once taking off your shoes. The Simpsons was still consistently funny. Gasoline cost around a dollar a gallon. "Burning a CD" was uncommon vernacular. Pluto was still a planet.

Fifteen years, millions of dollars wasted, multiple changes in graphics engines and a studio takeover later, the game that has come to be called "Duke Nukem Never", "Duke Nukem Whenever", "Duke Nukem If-Ever", "Duke Nukem Not-Ever" and so many other mocking epithets is finally a finished product and has been released to manufacturing!

No, I'm not kidding. Even as you read this, shrink-wrapped boxes of the game are being prepared. Duke Nukem Forever will be published for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PCs on June 10th.

(Kinda hilarious when you consider that when work on the game commenced that Microsoft hadn't even announced the first Xbox yet...)

Now, not to be a "Doubting Thomas" type but I still won't be 100% convinced until I see it with my own two eyes. So if there is a midnight release for Duke Nukem Forever I plan on being at the nearest GameStop on the night of June 9th along with good friend and fellow blogger Steven Glaspie. I'm probably not gonna buy the game but after all this time of watching its development I just gotta make sure that I'm not hallucinating its release :-P

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Release trailer for DUKE NUKEM FOREVER. Yes, really.

On April 28th, 1997, video game studio 3D Realms announced that Duke Nukem Forever, the follow-up to its 1996 hit Duke Nukem 3-D, was in development.

Fourteen years, hundreds of thousands of wasted man-hours, numerous rendering engines long gone obsolete, two or more full generations of console technology and a bankruptcy later, Gearbox Software - which picked up the pieces last year to try to make some sense of this mess - will be releasing Duke Nukem Forever on May 6th.

Yes, as in: this year. 2011.

Look! Release trailer!

Here's the official synopsis:

Put on your shades and prepare to step into the boots of Duke Nukem,whose legend has reached epic proportions in the years since his last adventure. The alien hordes are invading and only Duke can save the world. Pig cops, alien shrink rays and enormous alien bosses can't stop our hero from accomplishing his one and only goal: to save the world, save the babes and to be a bad-ass while doing it. The King arrives with an arsenal of over-the-top weapons, non-stop action, and unprecedented levels of interactivity. This game puts the pedal to the metal and tongue firmly in cheek. Shoot hoops, lift weights, read adult magazines, draw crude messages on whiteboards or ogle the many hot women that occupy Duke's life - that is if you can pull yourself away long enough from destroying alien invaders. Duke Nukem was andwill forever be a gaming icon, and this is his legend.

I wonder if THIS guy is going to get his pre-order honored by GameStop.

I still can't believe this is seriously happening. All the jokes about "Duke Nukem Whenever", "Duke Nukem If Ever", "Duke Nukem Not Ever" are about to come to an end. When this game was first announced the Star Wars Special Editions were still in theaters. Bill Clinton had not yet done "that thing" with a cigar and Monica Lewinsky. Gas was ridiculously cheap. You could go to the airport without getting molested by government goons. "High-speed Internet" meant 57k baud...

I probably won't be buying it, but I'm planning on being at GameStop for the midnight release, just to see it with my own two eyes :-P

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How DUKE NUKEM FOREVER imploded

Clive Thompson at Wired has written an exhaustively-researched article that should give every software developer and game publisher pause: the twelve-year development cycle that plagued Duke Nukem Forever before the plug was finally pulled on the project this past spring. The tale Thompson relates is one rife with technical obsession, corporate money and motion-captured strippers (for realz, folks). If you want the lowdown on the biggest gaming fiasco since Ion Storm and perhaps of all time, here it is!

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Duke Nukem... Never! 3D Realms no more

Duke Nukem Forever is now officially deader than Elvis. 3D Realms has shut down for good and Take-Two - which had the publishing rights to the game - has announced it will not be funding any more development of the project.

So after more than twelve years of work on this one video game, it now looks as though there will be absolutely nothing to show for the effort or the money. And what's more, Duke Nukem Forever is now poised to become an even more legendary fiasco than Daikatana ever was (and that's sayin' something). Expect an onslaught of vaporware jokes about this in the coming days.

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