Preview: The Knight Shift's very last blog post

Am looking at making a few edits and additions to this blog.  Nothing too drastic though.  I used to change up The Knight Shift's appearance about once a year or so.  But it's had this template for five years now and it really does seem to be the best it's looked.

And I'm going to make sure it stays looking good, up until the very end.

A long time ago I heard about something that, it was kind of a legend.  That somewhere in the bowels of the CNN headquarters in Atlanta, there was a videotape.  And it was explicitly noted that it would not be used until the end of the world had been confirmed.  CNN founder Ted Turner had declared when the channel first started up that it would be on the air until the absolutely final moments of Planet Earth.  There would be no signing-off of CNN until then.

It turned out that this was not a myth.  Turner did make a "hold until end of the world" video.  Here it is on YouTube.  Depicting a military band playing "Nearer My God To Thee".  To be followed by CNN going out into darkness eternal.

When the tale turned out to be real, an idea hit me.  That I should also have a final post to be made on this blog.  There are actually two posts for the occasion: one to be made when my own passing away happens (hopefully a LONG time from now), and one to also hold for publishing until the apocalypse truly is upon us.

So if you are wondering what the very final words will be on The Knight Shift, after all this time and more, here's what is "in the vault" ready to be used at the closing of human history.  Please ignore the January 2050 timestamp.  That's just a placeholder for the actual date of Armageddon.

Anyhoo, here it is:

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I want to be well into my eighties before I leave this earth, however it happens.  I was a kid when Halley's Comet visited in 1986 and it really was a letdown unless you lived in more southerly latitudes.  Hoping I'll get to see it during its next appearance and praying it will be much better.

Well, there it is.  When you all see that post, you will know to step away from the computer or put down your smart phone and embrace your loved ones as destruction rains down upon us.

I just like being prepared, is all :-)

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Watch it now: the legendary CNN "end of the world" video

One of the things I've always wanted to do with this blog is post interesting stuff.  Or at least those things that are intriguing to me.  Admittedly, that has slacked off a lot in the past several months.  Between writing my book (a project that devoured most of 2014) and then Dad's passing a month and a half ago, this hasn't  been the best of times to even look for neat/odd material, much less post about it.  Maybe I can do better about that in the coming year.

And fortunately good friend Scott Kelly has come to the rescue with something to kick it off with:

Cue James Earl Jones voiceover: "THIS... was CNN."

I first heard weird stories about "the CNN doomsday tape" around the time of the Gulf War in 1991.  Allegedly, CNN founder Ted Turner has made a video that would be the very last thing that his cable news network would broadcast before the end of the world engulfed all of mankind in hellfire, brimstone, plague or zombie apocalypse.  The plan was that when the very last CNN employee was left alive in the building, the "play" button would be hit and this would be the final thing that whatever viewers were left would witness on CNN.

Turns out it's not so much a legend.  And CNN employees have known about it for years.  However, this is the first time that the video itself has found its way into public purview.

Jalopnik has a great write-up about Ted Turner's end-times CNN tape, which is still within the network's video archive listed as "TURNER DOOMSDAY VIDEO" under strictest orders that it not be broadcast "till end of the world confirmed".  Included in the article is the video itself: of a military band playing "Nearer My God To Thee".

In a really odd way it reminds me of the night of 9/11.  My best friend was working in the CNN Building in Atlanta at the time, and all evening we were talking back and forth on AOL Instant Messenger.  It was really something to be hearing directly from the bowels of what was almost certainly the most-watched news network in the world at that moment.  I've still got the log of that IM session somewhere.

I once heard that Orson Welles had recorded a radio broadcast meant for the end of the world.  But I haven't been able to find anything about that.  Perhaps some reader of this blog will be able to enlighten me more about that.

Anyway, it's a good article.  Well worth reading if you're into matters of technological history.  Which is curious in this matter in that the video is still in 4:3 aspect ratio at standard definition, so if you don't have a high-def set you can still watch CNN cover Armageddon.

EDIT 6:47 p.m. EST:   I've watched this video a few more times and the more I think about it, the less funny it seems.

Consider: this tape was made in 1981.  Kids today don't realize how SCARY things were back then, at the height of the Cold War and the fear that any moment there would be nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviets.  1983 seems especially vivid: when the Russians shot down the South Korean airliner and then not long after when the TV movie The Day After aired.  The policy of mutually-assured destruction meant that both sides understood that an attack by one superpower would mean the destruction of each nation and with that it would almost certainly be the end of all civilization, everywhere.

We lived.  We laughed.  We had babies.  But above it all there was a lingering fear that somehow or another, The Button would be pressed by one side or the other and the biblical end times would be upon us just like that.  I was at a Christian school at the time and with few exceptions there was an air of paranoia among the faculty: as if it had to be drilled into our heads that Russia was the tool of Satan eagerly waiting to unleash an unholy salvo against America so we'd better "get right" with God before it was too late.

That was years before I came to understand that we enter into a relationship with God because we want to, not because we are forced into it by others.  But I digress...

So yeah: we went about our lives.  All the while knowing that nuclear war could erupt and that would be the end of everything.

Bearing that in mind, I could easily envision a scenario where before the bombs hit, a CNN employee might actually get confirmation that the nukes were inbound and that the network really was "signing off" for good.

So that said, this really is a fascinating and legitimate artifact of the 1980s.

EDIT 7:07 p.m. EST:  Maybe I should do something like that for this blog.  Like, have a YouTube video embedded in a post ready to be deployed for when the nukes fall or the undead overwhelm us all.  Or at least a "final post" that friends will unload upon my demise.  What do y'all think?

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So... about that "Peter of Rome" thingy...

sigh...

Honestly, I did not want to address this at all. I'll admit some wacky speculation on this site before (mostly a reflection of an earlier incarnation, a few "regenerations" back in Doctor Who parlance) but the last thing I want is for this blog to descend into conspiracy-theory territory. The sort that the History Channel has been devolving into the past few years...

"I'm not saying that it's aliens... but IT'S ALIENS."

But seeing as how FOUR e-mails have come in during the past 48 hours, asking for my take on this, it might as well get some blogspace. And this is the only time that I'm gonna touch upon this.

The gist of the inquiries has been: "Hey Chris, what do you think about the next pope being Petrus Romanus from the Malachy prophecy?"

It's one of the more prominent bits of odd lore accumulated over the centuries. That in 1139 an Irish archbishop named Malachy (later Saint Malachy) had a prophetic vision of all the popes that were to come until the end of time. Supposedly Malachy wrote down his vision as a series of Latin phrases for each respective future pope. And then - so the story goes - his recording of the vision was put onto the dusty shelves of the Vatican's archives and forgotten until 1590, when it was found anew.

There is considerable evidence suggesting that Malachy's "papal forecast" is a forgery created shortly before its "discovery". Nonetheless, there are many who contend that Malachy's purported "New Fathers Almanac" has proven remarkably accurate in recent centuries. You can read the entire prophecy yourself, if you feel so led. Indeed, it is a curious coincidence that the phrase corresponding to John Paul II, "De labore Solis", has been translated as "from the eclipse of the Sun"... and that John Paul II was born during a solar eclipse in 1920 and was buried during a solar eclipse in 2005. It was curious enough that I made a blog post about it at the time. Parse all of this as you will...

Anyhoo, after John Paul II's respective entry we get this: "Gloria olivæ", meaning "The glory of the Olives". That Benedict XVI chose his papal name in reference to the Benedictine Order, a symbol of which is an olive branch, has not gone unremarked by, ummmm... "certain folks".

Here is where things threaten to get completely wonky...

The very next pope after Gloria olivæ is "Petrus Romanus", translated from Latin as "Peter the Roman". And here is Malachy's alleged description for this pope:

In persecutione extrema S.R.E. sedebit Petrus Romanus, qui pascet oves in multis tribulationibus: quibus transactis civitas septicollis diruetur, & Judex tremêdus judicabit populum suum. Finis.

Translated into English thusly:

"In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."

So according to Malachy's vision, the next pope, "Peter the Roman", will be the occupant of the Vatican when the end of the world finally happens.

Some have suggested that Peter the Roman will be the Antichrist, or at least the False Prophet described in the Book of Revelation.

And we thought Aerys II Targaryen was bad news...

Awright, well... what do I think about this, Saint Malachy's "Prophecy of the Popes"?

I think a lot of people are about to be disappointed.

I do not believe that there is anything particularly mystical about Malachy's prophecies. For one thing, any one of the mottoes listed could be interpreted a dozen ways and more. The phrase corresponding to John Paul II has at least three that I'm aware of, including one that would mean "From the turmoil of the east", AKA from behind the Iron Curtain of eastern Europe (John Paul II coming from Poland in the days of Communist rule). For another thing, it remains quite possible that there exists, in the case of Saint Malachy's purported vision, a thing as "self-fulfilling prophecy". The "Prophecy of the Popes" certainly must be something that every Catholic clergyman is aware of. It's not hard to imagine that it would lurk on the subconscious edge of all who have ever been involved in the higher administrations of the Roman Catholic Church and thus, might play an unacknowledged part in the roll call of popes.

So lemme be succinct: I believe that after Benedict XVI steps down as pope on February 28th, that there will be the prescribed Conclave of the College of Cardinals. A new pope will be elected. He will be according to our Catholic brethren the Bishop of Rome, the Vicar of Christ, the successor to Saint Peter. And then at the end of his term, whether by death or by resignation, he will be succeeded by another. And that pope will eventually be succeeded. And so on.

In other words: Malachy's prophecy will probably be rendered thoroughly kaput during the next few years. If not months, or even weeks. Over four hundred years of worrying about the end of the world (at least on the papal forecast's watch) will cease. The "Prophecy of the Popes" will become considered an odd relic of Armageddon-ish hysteria.

But I don't think for a moment that the Mother of All Silly Seasons isn't descending upon us fast and hard. If you thought that the "Mayan Apocalypse" stuff was crazy, y'all ain't seen nuthin' yet. Heck, I've seen more essays and articles about "Petrus Romanus"/"Peter the Roman" - from both the mainstream press and "new media" such as established blogs - published in the past 48 hours than I've seen during the past fifteen years put together.

Brace yourself, Dear Reader. The wackiness is already ramping up and it's about to go full-tilt balls-to-the-walls off-the-chain bonkers.

Be of good cheer! Lord willing, I'm gonna be an old gray man taking my grandchildren to see Star Wars Episode XXVII someday. And long before that happens we will have all forgotten about the imminent hysterics.

But I have to confess: I'm probably going to be in a near-constant giggle-fit watching the stuff that's going to be happening soon:

"I'm not saying it's the end of the world... but IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD."

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