Happy Halloween!

Hey gang, there's a new app for mobile devices called ReFace and it is amazing!  You shoot a selfie of your face and from there it places your mug practically seamlessly into footage from television or movies or whatever.  Thought for Halloween that I'd share this one of me channeling Jack Nicholson from The Shining.  All work and no play makes Chris a dull boy, after all...

 

 

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Horrifying for Jesus: The problem with "hell houses"

Hell-raiser?
Poster for hell house in Texas

The first time that I went to a hell house (we’ll get to what that is soon) it depicted a commercial airline crash.  It was pretty impressive really, all taking place within the basement of a Baptist church in Asheville.  Then we were taken through a series of rooms that showed what happened to the characters following their untimely deaths.  Some were lifted away by “angels” (younger members of the church in white robes absent the wings) and didn’t show up until later.

And then there were some who were condemned because of their unbelief.  These were hauled out of sight by other youth members in demonic makeup.  Their eternal destination was what could only be called the “Hell Room”: a very dark room that required holding onto a rope to navigate through.  Still more youngsters in glow-in-the-dark masks and faintly luminescent attire mulling around while an older man playing the devil himself ranted about how there was always room in Hades.  The kids would occasionally whisper “Ssssaaatan!” or some such.  The conclusion of the hell house proper was a room depicting Jesus and the good characters coming in to worship Him.

What followed after was that those of us in our group were brought into a normal classroom up a floor where another older man talked about the gospel of Christ and salvation.  The gist of the message though was clear: be saved or go through worse than what you just saw.

I will be honest: it was a show that even years later disturbs me.   But probably not in the way that the organizers had intended.

There are various names for them: “hell house” or “judgment house” or the like.  They’re meant to  be a Christian version of the haunted attractions that spring up around this time of year.  Some of those are pretty fantastic.   Others are unbelievably complex: Woods of Terror - a nationally renowned annual Halloween attraction - owned an operated by a devout Christian, incidentally - is just down the road from where I live and is a true wonder to walk through.

The “haunted” attractions have a straightforward purpose: frighten the bejeebers out of you momentarily, only to propel you forward into more good-natured horror.  You pay money and for the next 45 minutes you come perilously close to losing bladder control… all for fun, of course.

That isn’t what the hell house is meant to be.

They pop up in various churches every year at this time, just in time for Halloween.  For twelve bucks you pay to travail from the mortal realm on through the torments of the damned, after which you are sent into an indoctrination session to explain what it is that you’ve just witnessed and how to avoid it.  Doing such means turning to Christ for eternal salvation.

I absolutely can accept that.  We are most certainly kept in the arms of God from the moment that we turn to Him and surrender ourselves to His will.  We are told that nothing will separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39).  Do I believe that once we have salvation, that salvation is eternal regardless of what it is that we do in this life?  Yes.  Definitely.

But could it be that the people who go through a hell house are more being driven away from Hell than into a relationship with God?

There is a difference between the two.  And it’s one that seriously makes me wonder how much of the “repentance” is genuine and how much is motivated by a fear that could very possibly be as temporary as a weekend.

I call it “horrifying for Jesus”.  And there is something that is significantly troubling about that.

Look, I don’t doubt that the intentions of the people running “hell houses” or “judgment houses” are very sincere.  They have set out to do something that we as Christians are meant to do, and in some ways they do it quite well.  And that is, to cause others to wonder about their eternal destination.

But I have to question… as I have long questioned… the methods that are utilized toward that end.

I’m compelled to wonder if the reason why some say that they turn to Christ is primarily out of fear of the torment of Hell.

Now, do I believe that such a thing exists?  As much as I do believe in “once saved, always saved”.  As I have come to understand it over the years, Hell is something that God has to allow.  Hell is for those who not only turn away from Him: Hell is for those who absolutely refuse to acknowledge Him.  Because if they can not stand to be in the presence of God, then being in His presence for eternity would be an even greater torment.  It is something that they could not possibly tolerate.  Heaven would become just like Hell if such a thing were possible.  What is Hell?  It’s the absence of the presence of God more than anything else.

Are our reasons to turn to God because we long to be in His presence, or because we fear the absence of Him?

There is a difference between the two, I believe.  One is based in love.  The other is borne out of fear.  The two are for all intents and purposes incompatible with each other.

So what does it say about us as followers of Christ when we need stunts derived from fear?  How is it that horror has supplanted love and tenderness in drawing others to God?

The NIV version tells us that “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” (2nd Timothy 1:7).  The KJV version might say it even better: “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear…”

Think about that.  The word of God instructs that we are not given over to be driven by fear, because He who is within us has conquered fear.  The Spirit within us has overcome the fearfulness of these fallen circles of the world.  We are meant to be beyond the realm of this fallen realm and the horrors that are too much a part of it.

So why is it that we are sometimes determined to drag some people back into that horror?  And for an admission fee at that?

1st John 4:18 is even more explicit: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

We are called to be bearers of the Spirit.  Not procurers of terror.

How is it that Christians are using fear as a tactic for winning others to Christ?

And does that, or does it not, speak of our failure as Christians that we have to resort to such things?  Particularly when we are told that this isn’t the way we are supposed to  be.

It’s like this: followers of Christ don’t need gimmicks like hell houses.  When we do so, we diminish the light within us.  We are shying away from showing forth the new nature that we are meant to show forth to the world around us.  We replace that light with darkness.  We are in effect admitting that darkness is stronger than light.

We aren’t supposed to be like this.  We shouldn’t need depictions of damnation to encourage others to seek after Him.  I believe that Christ is reality… and that should be more than enough.  Christ suffices.  Fear does not and never will, and is never meant to be a substitute for love.

As I said, I don’t doubt the intentions of those who organize judgment houses, hell houses, whatever.  They mean well.  But there is supposed to be something infinitely more powerful than terror that will draw people toward God.

And it doesn’t charge ten bucks and change, either.

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Chewbacca needs double amputee

Lord only knows how legit this is. Whether it is or not, it's both uproariously funny and downright creepy.  From Craigslist...

I don't think that's how they did it for The Empire Strikes Back.  Can't this guy find a geek to set him up with some circuit boards and servos instead?

Anyway, thanks to Erik Yaple for another twisted find!

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Today's ultra-scary BLONDIE comic strip

Out of the mouths of babes...

Click to enlarge

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Halloween 2011: Priceline Negotiators score epic win as William Shatner re-Tweets our costumes!

What a crazy day this has turned into!! A little while ago we were at Woods of Terror in nearby Guilford County and had our photo taken with Addy Miller, AKA the cute lil' zombie girl from the very first episode of The Walking Dead. But before we did that, this afternoon there was the Trunk or Treat event at Fairview Baptist Church. What a great opportunity to pull off something that I had the idea for way back in the spring...

So here we are: Kristen Bradford as Naomi Pryce, Yours Truly as William Shatner, and Steven Glaspie as Big Deal from the TV commercials for Priceline!

But that's not all! After Kristen posted that pic onto her Facebook page I immediately Twitter-ed about it.

And William Shatner himself re-tweeted it!!!

Click on the link, and behold the visual record of our epic geek win...

Honestly don't know what else to say. Just... wow. To be re-tweeted by The Shatner. The Shatner is not a mere mortal: he is... a force of nature. And tonight The Shatner beheld one of my best friends, my girlfriend and I as the Priceline Negotiators.

The Shatner saw me portraying him and acknowledged that before all creation.

Whoa.

I think I gotta lay down after that...

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Star Wars costumes of Halloweens past

Since last night I've been getting my Jedi Knight costume (yah the very one that I wore to the Board of Education meeting two years ago) ready for this evening. Mostly 'cuz I promised some friends that I'd come by and let their own younglings see it. And I thought it'd be fun to wear it around throughout the rest of the night so I've been ironing the kimono, brushing the cloak and polishing my lightsaber.

It's a fine costume. Movie quality at that! And staffers from Lucasfilm have told me that the lightsaber I made is like something they would have made for a real Star Wars film! Yes, I'm very proud to own some real Jedi threads :-)

But you know: we all have to start somewhere. Every journey has a first step. And it's true with being geeky enough of a Star Wars fan as to make a costume - or more than one - inspired by the saga. When I was a younger punk and going out trickster-treating on Halloween, I usually had one of those vinyl "costumes" with the cheap plastic mask. I was Darth Vader and Yoda and a Stormtrooper back in the day but...

...well, when you get older, and bigger, you realize that you deserve something a bit more "boss".

It took me longer than most would have expected, but in October of 1996 I made my very first "serious" Star Wars costume. It was for the Halloween party the Baptist Student Union at Elon was having at Blue Ribbon in Burlington. I'd been wondering all that month what I should wear. And then one day at Spencer's at Four Seasons Town Centre in Greensboro, just over a week before the party, I spotted a two-piece Darth Vader mask (the kind that Don Post Studios used to make).

"And that's when I went mad, Your Honor..."

It started with the mask. Then I decided that I had to have a black cape. And then a lightsaber. And gloves. And... well, you get the idea. I just couldn't stop until I had made myself as Darth Vader-ish as I possibly could. The chest-box, bits of armor and the boxes on the belt were all cannibalized from one piece of a child's Darth Vader costume that the manager at Halloween Express let me have for free (when I bought the cape). There was also a black vinyl cape that I cut holes for the arms and had that under the main cape and also over the armor and tucked in beneath the belt (so as to achieve that "multiple robes" look). I bought a black pair of jeans just for the occasion and thankfully the Darth Vader lightsaber toy had just hit the toy store shelves. Finishing it off, I used Dad's old black motorcycle boots.

Well, "Darth Vader" was a hit! I even wound up winning the "Best Costume" award at the BSU party. And for the rest of the evening I enjoyed strutting around Elon's campus as the Dark Lord of the Sith (something that would kinda be repeated a week before Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace came out, but that's a story for another time). The one thing that I wish could have been better, though no fault of my own, is that I'm admittedly not as tall as Darth Vader was in the movies! To really pull off a persuasive Vader, you need to be at least six feet tall. Most folks aren't anywhere near David Prowse's height and build. And some people who build extremely good Vader costumes wind up compensating by wearing way padded boots: almost like something you'd find in Gene Simmons' closet. I don't have that sort of stature, and I don't plan on ever making a Vader costume as awesome as some of the fan-made ones that I've seen...

...but on Halloween night 1996, none of that mattered. For one wonderful evening, I was Darth Vader, baby! :-)

So that was what I did with a week to work with. But come the following Halloween, I wanted to spend more effort on the matter. Baptist Student Union was having another Halloween get-together at Blue Ribbon. And emboldened by the previous year's costume, I got a bit daring.

There was no question what I had to do to top Darth Vader. For 1997 it had to be Boba Fett. Including the jetpack.

It took me over a month to build, but in the end I had my Boba Fett costume for Halloween 1997! The helmet is the classic replica that Don Post Studios created. I bought a light-blue jumpsuit from Sears and a gray t-shirt for the "vest". Most of the armor pieces were cut from sheets of aluminum that I bought at Lowe's, then shaped and spray-painted (and I painted Boba's various insignia by hand on them afterward). The codpiece, collar armor and knee armor were cut from placemats found in the kitchen section of Wal-Mart and likewise spray-painted. I bought ammo pouches from an Army surplus store in Greensboro and dyed them a dark enough shade of brown. The gauntlets were made from youth-sized soccer shinguards I found at K-Mart: I just took the hard plastic guards, and epoxied onto each a plastic disposable drinking cup that I cut down the side and added Velcro for easy wearing and removal. The bits on the gauntlets were salvaged from various toys and models (and the "flamethrower" hose is one that I found at my family's old farm). The boots were an old pair that I didn't wear anymore, so I spray-painted them and added cloth "spats" to hide the laces. Mom helped me with the cape.

And the jetpack? Cardboard, for the most part. The "rocket" on top of it was fashioned from three of those cone-shaped air fresheners that you can buy at any grocery store or Target or Wal-Mart. I used two of the bases from the fresheners (I'm telling y'all here and now, that the apartment "Weird" Ed and I had smelled glorious for over a month) to make the tops of the side "cylinders" on the pack. The nozzles were small plastic cups epoxied to balls I found in the sporting goods section of K-Mart, then spray-painted silver and attached to the sides of the pack. The whole thing attached with Velcro and a hidden piece of belt to a strip of armor (also made from placemat) that extended down the back from the collar armor.

Granted, it's possibly the cheapest Boba Fett costume ever assembled. I think the entire thing cost about $200 (and most of that was the price of the helmet). But it looked hella kewl! My friends in Baptist Student Union loved it, and the kids who came into the restaurant couldn't stop oggling it. Then the next day (which was the actual Halloween 1997) I put it on that afternoon and Ed and I walked all over Elon's campus and saw jaws dropping all over the place. The funniest moment came when we went into the student center where a group of prospective students and their parents were being given a tour: I did my best Boba Fett walk, came in, and nodded my helmet toward them. Ehhh... wonder how much enrollment money that lil' stunt cost Elon that day? :-P

Well, that first Boba Fett costume was a knockout! But someday I want to make a much better one: out of vacuu-formed plastic and whatnot. I've met Jeremy Bulloch before: he's the actor who portrayed Boba in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, and he and I are the exact same height! So a Boba Fett costume would be all-around sensible to have if I'm gonna dress up as a Star Wars villain.

But in the end, it really isn't how much money and material you can pour into a Star Wars costume, or any costume for that matter. It's the passion you have for a character or a story which really counts. People aren't gonna be impressed by a thousand-dollar getup as much as they are by seeing you having fun with the role and enjoying being something different or odd or both... if even for just one night.

Happy Halloween y'all! :-)

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It's Chris Knight's Jack-O-Lantern 2009 Edition

Two years ago it was pumpkins carved in the likenesses of the honorable Dr. Ron Paul and a certain local school board member. Then last year it was a Big Daddy from the BioShock video games series.

So what did I do for this year's Halloween?

It's ME!

THAT'll make the neighborhood kids think twice before knocking on the door for candy! :-P

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What has been seen...

...can never be un-seen.

Be mindful of that before you click this link.

Remember: it's your choice. Consider yourself duly warned.

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This photo screams "AWESOME!"

My good friend and filmmaking collaborator "Weird" Ed Woody dons a V getup (as in V for Vendetta) and rocks hard on Halloween at a local Wal-Mart last night...

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The BIOSHOCK Big Daddy Jack-o'-Lantern

Last year for Halloween I carved two Jack-o'-Lanterns: one of U.S. Presidential candidate Ron Paul and another of larcenous school board member Ron Price. The Ron Paul pumpkin garnered some "oohs and ahhhs" on the Internet and local schookids came by in droves to look and laugh at Ron Price's visage carved large and orange.

So... what was I going to do this year?

I juggled around lots of concepts, and in the end decided that I wanted to take a shot at doing Big Daddy from the video game BioShock. Here it is after two hours of work...

In BioShock, Big Daddies are the protectors of the Little Sisters (click here for the Big Daddy entry at the BioShock Wiki). They used to be human, before radical gene therapy took away their minds. Their skin was then flayed-off and the bare flesh steam-sealed to old-fashioned diving suits. The result was a horrific monstrosity that would roam the underwater city of Rapture, defending the Little Sisters to the death. As a result of the wild success of BioShock, the Big Daddy has become one of the most iconic monsters of the modern era. Suffice it say, you also have to fight these armored freaks quite often in the game.

And here's the Jack-o'-Lantern fully lit...

Yeah, I messed up the "H" in "BioShock" (the rind was rather thin at that spot on the pumpkin and part of it came off too easy while carving) but hey: it's a spot-on Big Daddy! Not too bad eh? :-)

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More Ron Paul Jack-o'-Lanterns!

Apparently, Ron Paul is a big theme for Jack-o'-Lanterns this Halloween :-)

Here is one made by im_a_pepper. Look at the amazing level of detail on this pumpkin!

And then there is this one (of two) made by Mustardseed (click to see more photos):

I'm about to go light my own Ron Paul Jack-o'-Lantern (along with that... other thing). They'll be on display on our patio throughout the night. So if you're in Reidsville and are driving around Sherwood Drive, come by and take a looksee!! :-)

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The Ron Paul for President Jack-o'-Lantern!

Tonight I set to work on carving a Ron Paul Jack-o'-Lantern, using the pattern that I came up with a few days ago. I've been a longtime admirer of Dr. Paul and I am definitely supporting him for President in next year's election (as I've said here before: I'm voting for Ron Paul or I'm voting for nobody at all). So I thought it would be fun to do something in keeping with the spirit of the holiday for when the trickster-treatsters in the neighborhood come around for candy on Halloween tomorrow night, and do my part in promoting Dr. Paul.

(Here's Ron Paul's official campaign website and I'll also recommend the Ron Paul Forums, where I hang out a lot.)

I started carving it a little before 7 p.m. tonight, and finished just before 9:30. Like the Jack-o'-Lantern I made of local politician and admitted thief Ron Price last night, a lot of the work in this one related to the extra-thick skin that had to be scraped away. But also on this one, the "RON PAUL" letters that I made on the pattern were not very workable. I ended up having to re-design them on the fly, as I was carving them (had to do that carefully 'cuz I did not want to botch up a perfectly good pumpkin :-).

Finally after two and a half hours, here was the finished product...

What does it look like when it's lit-up with a candle? Feat your eyes on this my friends!

And here's what it looks like on our porch...

So... what y'all think? :-)

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The Ron Price Jack-o'-Lantern IS ALIVE!!

Just as I threatened to do a few days ago, here is the Ron Price Jack-o'-Lantern. Yes, I actually went ahead with my plan to carve a pumpkin in the likeness of Rockingham County's most larcenous, arrogant and condescending school board member! Ron Price is now immortalized in pumpkin... or at least until the thing starts to rot and decay (to match Price's moral principles).

Here's a shot of it on our kitchen table. Note that Monday Night Live on WGSR is playing in the background. Yup, even in our home, I make darn sure that Price cannot escape the scrutiny of WGSR, which Price once said was "bad for the community" (and click here if you want to hear Price say it himself)...

Here's a shot of the "Ron Price Political Protest Pumpkin" on our front porch...

With a bit of the light inside coming out...

And here it is in total darkness, with a wicked, sinister glow...

In case anyone's wondering, it took me a little over an hour and a half to carve this. Most of the work had to do with the fact that this was a robust pumpkin with a very thick (over an inch) outside, so it took some doing to scrape out the excess material. Ron "the Con"'s mouth and teeth were the hardest thing to carve out. But after a little patience, I can now boast that we have the scariest Jack-o'-Lantern on the entire street :-P

So I gotta wonder: now that I'm being summoned for deposition in Price's lawsuit against the Moores, does this thing up my own chances of getting sued by Ron Price? Probably. I mean, any elected official loco enough to sue a private citizen for (a) wearing a t-shirt and (b) practicing the constitutional right to petition, is capable of doing anything. Which makes it all the more important that we do what we can to knock people like Price off their pedestals. "They" serve us... and no matter how much Ron Price insists that he can get away with it because "I was elected", he's to be held just as accountable as anyone else. Price had the chance to do the right thing and step aside when he was caught stealing. He didn't do that. So now it falls to the rest of us to ridicule him and put him to shame... which he'll have to put up with, since he's a public figure by personal choice.

The pictures are nice, but this really is something that must be seen in person to be believed. The Ron Price Jack-o'-Lantern will be on display every night through Halloween (meaning that after tonight you only have 2 more nights to see it).

Next up: tomorrow night I'm going to carve Ron Price's light-side antithesis: good-guy Presidential candidate Ron Paul!

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How about a Ron Paul Jack-o'-Lantern instead?

Okay, this will be the last post I make before getting back to my much-needed break from blogging! Because after making and publishing the Ron Price Jack-o'-Lantern pattern, I couldn't in good conscience leave things dangling with something that scary.

So here's a Jack-o'-Lantern pattern of the candidate for President that I'm backing: Ron Paul. Same basic instructions as the original: Click on the image to get it full-sized and print it out. Use pins or tape to secure it to the side of a pumpkin. Then use a Pumpkin Carving Kit from Pumpkin Masters, and do with this as you would do with any other pumpkin pattern.

Happy Halloween! :-)

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The Ron Price Jack-o'-Lantern

The only time I plan on breaking my sabbatical... but only because this was too funny not to do and share with the world.

Click on the image to get it full-sized, print it out and follow the directions, feeling free to re-size as desired.

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Too much CUJO

It's on right now. Again. This is the seventh or eighth time that Cujo has played on WGSR here in Reidsville during the past few weeks... at least.

After so many times of watching Cujo try to kill Dee Wallace-Stone and that kid from Who's The Boss?, I don't know if I'll ever pet another St. Bernard for as long as I live.

C'mon guys: I know that I've seen Psycho II in there somewhere. Howsabout giving us something new? 'Cuz right now I'm starting to feel like Hawkeye in the "Adam's Ribs" episode of M*A*S*H ...

"WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE!"
"WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE!"
"WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE!"

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