YOU GO GRANNY!! 75-year old woman stops SIX jewelry thieves with her handbag!

"I was not going to stand by and watch somebody take a beating or worse so I tried to intervene," said the sweet little lady in the red coat and white tights. The 75-year old retiree, who declined to give her name, witnessed a gang of six punks on motorbikes trying to smash their way into a jewelry store in Northampton, England with sledgehammers.

With store employees looking terrified from within as the droogs began pounding their way to the goods, "Super Granny" came running up the street and began beating the hoodlums with her handbag! She even knocked at least one of them off of his moped. Four of the six were arrested.

Witness heroism in action, dear readers!

Click here to read more about the "handbag heroine".

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These are the mascots of the 2012 London Olympics...

When I saw these... things... the first thought that popped into mind was "If Jerry Falwell were still alive, he'd declare them both to be gay."

Kang and Kodos... errr, I mean Wenlock and Mandeville, are the official mascots of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

If nothing else, Wenlock and Mandeville will have us all forgetting that Izzy from the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta ever existed.

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Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch leads to real-life bomb scare

An east London pub was evacuated after city water engineers spotted an object that looked like an undetonated hand grenade. Bomb experts were called in and spent nearly an hour examining the item.

And in the end, the experts concluded that it was nothing more than a replica of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch from the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

No word yet on whether a killer rabbit was also spotted in the immediate area.

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London cops to receive mandatory microchip implants or get fired

The Daily Mail in Great Britain is reporting that every police officer in London - from the average bobby pounding a beat on up to London Metropolitan Police Chief Sir Ian Blair - will soon be implanted with a microchip that will allow their movements to be tracked all over London, whether they're on the street or in a pub or deep in the underground, or just at home.

The penalty for refusing to be "chipped", says the story in the Daily Mail, is that a police officer will lose his or her job.

If I were one of those good London cops, I'd be seriously asking myself: "Is this job really worth my health?" I mean, if this works off of RFID technology, which I'm presuming it does, there's already been reports of medical problems associated with these things with implanted chips in pets. Namely, stuff like cancer, painful lesions etc. The possibility of getting hurt or worse in a line of work like this has always been there. That's to be expected. Becoming "techno-tagged" like a piece of meat at the possible cost of your well-being is not, however.

Methinks the cops - all thirty-thousand-odd of them - of London should protest, refuse to take this chip, and strike if they have to. Preferably at the height of soccer season. Let's see what happens then when there's nobody there to stop the drunken hooligans.

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WARNING: The following blog post may trigger seizures and nausea

They unveiled the logo for the 2012 London Olympics earlier this week and it's so magnificently malformed that some are claiming that it could trigger seizures in people with epilepsy...

It reminded me of something that happened almost ten years ago. On December 17th 1997, Japanese television broadcast an episode of the popular Pokemon show. During the episode there is one scene that has intense rapid red/blue blinking. In the minutes and hours following that scene, hundreds of Japanese children were rushed to hospitals because that sequence caused those kids to suffer seizures, convulsions, fainting, extreme headaches and nausea! The flashing was taken out of subsequent airings of the episode.

So... wanna see it? Here it is, with the original video unedited. If this link goes bad just do a search on YouTube for "pokemon" and "seizures" or "epilepsy". But I'm seriously warning you: I watched this thing, and it did give me a headache. I'm just posting this as an example that the fears about the new Olympics symbol aren't necessarily frivolous.

Here it is: the banned Pokemon "seizures" sequence. Remember, you watch this at your own risk...

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