I did it. I really, really did it...

Dear Readers,

Last night, while at a restaurant with a friend, I did something that I have wanted to do for years but thought would never happen, particularly after I vowed not to do it.

But I figured, "what the heck?"

Yesterday evening, at long last, I ate Bhut jolokia: the notorious "ghost pepper" from India.  Until recently, certified as the hottest pepper on the face of the Earth.

(Yes, there are photographs of this happening.  My friend took them with his iPhone but I don't have them yet.  Suffice it to say they are rather... interesting.)

So, what did I think?  Bhut jolokia is extremely hot.  However it is not as hot as I had long anticipated.  All along I've had visions of my bare tongue pressed against the inner circles of Dante's Inferno.  What I experience instead was a fiery hot pepper that made my face burn crimson but otherwise was not at all unpleasant.  I may try it again sometime.

(For sake of disclosure, I must note that after eating Bhut jolokia, I chased it down with a rich chocolate milkshake.  So that might have had something to do with the Bhut jolokia not haunting my digestive tract as I slept last night and throughout today.)

Maybe I should try the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper next, since its heat is said to trounce that of Bhut jolokia.  What sayeth y'all?

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Trinidad Moruga Scorpion: World's newest HOTTEST chili pepper!

I tried growing some Bhut Jolokia several months ago, but it never sprouted the peppers. I wound up giving up. At the time it was the world's hottest chili pepper, clocking in at more than a million scorching Scovilles.

Okay, scratch that... 'cuz there's now a new heavyweight champion of the hot pepper scene!

Behold the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion: some peppers of which have been found to be TWO MILLION Scoville Heat Units!

(I am already determined to find some of this stuff. No I'm not suicidal...)

New Mexico State University's Chile Pepper Institute performed quantitative analysis of a variety of superhot peppers from around the globe. How powerful is the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion?

During harvesting, senior research specialist Danise Coon said she and the two students who were picking the peppers went through about four pairs of latex gloves.

"The capsaicin kept penetrating the latex and soaking into the skin on our hands. That has never happened to me before," she said.

Read more about this potent pepper here. I'll no doubt be purchasing some seeds in the near future. Expect some YouTube'd hilarity to ensue shortly afterward (much to my girlfriend's chagrin :-)

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Germination of the Bhut jolokia has begun!

Awright, I've been putting this off for too long now. I knew that this day would come. Not gonna run and hide anymore. Here, live or die, I will make my stand.

This afternoon I began the process of growing my can of Bhut jolokia.

And as I said when I first wrote about coming into possession of this stuff back in February, "This is either one of the bravest things that I will have ever attempted... or it is the stoopidest of my entire life..."

The Bhut jolokia: regarded by the scientific community as THE world's hottest naturally-occurring pepper. Native to north-eastern India, in the local tongue "Bhut jolokia" translates into "ghost pepper". Because as the natives like to joke, one bite of this could send you to an early grave.

Spicy heat is measured in Scoville units. Regular Tabasco sauce has a "hotness" of 2,500 Scoville Heat Units.

The Bhut jolokia? More than ONE MILLION.

So ever since this can arrived (you can order some for yourself from the good folks at ThinkGeek) it's been sitting on my desk, and I've been... looking at it. Studying it. Contemplating its potency.

And finally today, like Jeff Goldblum's character does in that scene in The Fly, I finally came to the place where I had to say "What are we waiting for, let's do it." So I followed the package's directions, put enough water into it that it began draining through the opened bottom, and set it in sunlight.

In another month or so, the crimson red agony-ridden peppers will have arrived.

And then, the fun really begins.

My good friend and fellow blogger Steven Glaspie is still set to chronicle my eating this pepper on video (he also did an excellent job being co-cameraman on Vaporware Nevermore! the other week :-). That he is a volunteer firefighter trained in first aid, was of course another factor in considering him for the task. I have another friend who is scheduled to be here, who has brewed his own brand of beer just for the occasion. As beer is said to be a very fast and effective counter-agent for spicy-hot burning, we're going to have his brew on hand as a last resort.

So... have I finally gone too far? Have I crossed a terrible, terrible line? Is your friend and humble narrator gone mad? Will this be the end of Chris Knight?!?

Tune in later this summer to find out!! :-P

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Chris set to tempt fate with... REAL BHUT JOLOKIA!

This is either one of the bravest things that I will have ever attempted... or it is the stoopidest of my entire life (which could be snuffed out by this stuff).

Back in December I posted about my filmmaking partner "Weird" Ed Woody passing along the link where you can purchase Bhut jolokia for your very own! Why did Ed tell me about ThinkGeek's Grow Your Own World's Hottest DIY Pepper kit? Because he's all too aware of my hideous interest in super-spicy hot food. Here's the link if you want to buy some too: whether to consume or just to display on your desk as a potent symbol of power.

Well, as you can see in the photo on the left, I am now in possession of a can of Bhut jolokia seeds, along with the soil (presumably from north-eastern India where the pepper originates) to grow it in. This can arrived shortly after Christmas. I've been considering what to do with it ever since. All it needs is water and sunlight and the hottest pepper on Earth is mine to wield.

"Bhut jolokia" in the native tongue means "ghost pepper". Because it is said that one bite of it can take you to an early grave. How hot is this stuff? Tabasco Sauce has a "hotness" of 2,500 Scoville units. Bhut jolokia is... more than 1 million.

Zoinks!

So here's the plan: sometime in the next few weeks I am going to begin growing my Bhut jolokia. And once the peppers have grown to a nice ripe size, I'm going to recruit good friend and fellow blogger Steven Glaspie to operate my best video camera and record Yours Truly eating a pepper (or more than one if I can manage it). I first thought of Steven as the one I wanted to videotape my doing this 'cuz he's the kind of guy that you wanna have on hand for a stunt of possible comedic potential. 'Course, that he's also a trained firefighter and well versed in first aid won't hurt matters either. And then (after I regain my senses) we'll post the video on YouTube.

Feel free to make odds on whether I survive this. Or how red my face becomes when I bite into the Bhut jolokia. I plan to have plenty of ice cream, bread, and other foods that are said to be good at countering capsaicin (the chemical which causes the "heat" sensation) on hand, just in case they're needed.

Stay tuned! This could turn into the most daring post that I've ever done... or the very last (which I may have to compose pre-posthumously :-P)

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Grow your own Bhut jolokia!

"Weird Ed" Woody, my filmmaking partner, is quietly attempting to murder me.

That's the only reason why I can conceive of his sending me this link to ThinkGeek's product page for the Grow Your Own World's Hottest DIY Pepper kit... because Weird Ed is well aware of my fascination with spicy hot food and he knows that I'm not going to pass up on the chance to grow my own Bhut jolokia!

This pepper, native to northeastern India, was written about more than three years ago on this blog and at the time some enterprising folks were looking at how to market it to the wider world. Well for a few bucks and some scratch you can get this pop-top can, open it up and give it water and sunlight, and in a few weeks you'll get your first sprouts. The pepper comes in at more than a million scorching Scoville units of heat. By comparison, your typical bottle of Tabasco sauce is 2,500 Scoville units. A few weeks ago the Bhut jolokia was dethroned as the hottest pepper on official record by a hybrid (which is based on the Bhut jolokia), but it's still the hottest-known naturally occurring pepper that's on the market.

Here's that link again if you dare. If nothing else, maybe you'll get lucky and get your Grow Your Own World's Hottest DIY Pepper kits by Christmas: 'twould be something different to give than those Chia Pets you always wind up buying when all other gift ideas fail...

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Indian chili pepper is world's hottest

The bhut jolokia - or "ghost pepper" because one bite of this could send you to an early grave - of northeastern India is now officially the world's hottest chili pepper

A chile's spiciness can be scientifically measured by calculating its content of capsaicin, the chemical that gives a pepper its bite, and counting its Scoville units.

And how hot is the bhut jolokia?

As a way of comparison: Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units. Your basic jalapeño pepper measures anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000. The previous record holder, the Red Savina habanero, was tested at up to 580,000 Scovilles.

The bhut jolokia crushed those contenders, testing at 1,001,304 Scoville units.

Over a million Scoville units?! Geeeeeez...

For a month now I've been trying Dave's Ultimate Insanity sauce on quite a few things, including mixing it with chili and salsa. It's so powerful that the most I've used at any one time is 3 drops of the stuff: any more than that and it's unbearably hot. Well, Dave's Ultimate Insanity has been measured to be, at most, about 250,000 Scoville units. I can't begin to imagine what a million would feel like. But I must admit, I am terribly curious as to how bhut jolokia tastes. Maybe someday I'll get to try it.

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I finally tried Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce

A few days ago I wrote about how last week I finally came into possession of a bottle of Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce: reputedly one of the most fiery hot sauces on the market... if not the most fiery. It's been sitting in our kitchen this whole time with the seal still unbroken on the bottle.

Well, this afternoon Lisa did some grocery shopping and she bought some Pace Chunky Salsa (medium flavor). Since you're only supposed to use Dave's Insanity sauces in well-diluted portions of whatever you are planning to eat, I decided this would be a good a time as any to try the sauce. I got a plate, poured out a helping of Pace salsa, and then finally opened the Dave's Ultimate Insanity up and poured one tiny drop of the stuff onto the salsa. I mixed it all up really well with a spoon. Then I got some tortilla chips and commenced to dipping and eating.

Folks, whatever reputation that Dave's Ultimate Insanity has, it is well earned. After the first bite, I thought the salsa tasted different than it usually does: it tasted much better. I enjoyed the flavor for about ten seconds and then my tongue started roasting. Somebody in the last day or so had warned me that you don't feel it immediately, that it takes several seconds for the sensation to hit. And boy, did it ever! This is definitely the hottest condiment that I have ever sampled in my entire life.

But it wasn't really unpleasant by any stretch. After you get over the initial shock and eat some more, Dave's Ultimate Insanity is pretty good. But it does have its consequences. My mouth was still burning about two hours after finishing the plate of tortillas and salsa. And Dave's Ultimate Insanity can also boast of being quite effective at clearing out your sinuses if they're feeling stuffy from pollen. Usually whenever I'm particularly overcome with allergy I order a Papa John's pizza loaded with tomato sauce and that clears me right out. Now I know that I can use Dave's Ultimate Insanity for the same effect.

I'm seriously thinking of mixing a drop or two of this with garlic butter marinade when I do deep-fried turkey come Thanksgiving. It might add a pretty neat kick to it.

So there ya go: I gave Dave's Ultimate Insanity a try, and I liked it. Worth recommending... but please be careful when handling and pouring this stuff!

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My very own bottle of Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce

In Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, the now-classic account by John Berendt of his time in Savannah, Georgia, there is a character named Luther Driggers. Luther - real person but his name in the book is a pseudonym - was a scientist who invented the flea collar. In the book Berendt accompanies him as Luther tries to market glow-in-the-dark goldfish (the scheme bombs bigtime). But his real claim to notoriety is that he possesses a bottle of poison so deadly, that it would kill every man, woman and child living in Savannah. He never intends to actually use the stuff. But Luther enjoys the sense of power that comes with owning so potent a thing, knowing that his fellow citizens are terrified out of their wits that Luther will pour it into the water system some night when he's depressed or drunk or something.

Well, it's not anything that powerful (I hope) but now I have a sense of what Luther felt as he held that bottle of poison in his hands. A few days ago, on our way to visit Lisa's family in Georgia, I tried Firehouse Subs for the first time and noticed that they have a slew of hot sauces available, and most for sale even. Two of them were something that I've heard about for quite awhile but had never actually seen: Dave's Insanity, supposedly one of the hottest sauces on the market. I bought a bottle of Dave's Ultimate Insanity, which is said to measure 250,000 Scoville units (the measure of how "hot" a spicy food item is), whereas regular Tabasco sauce is only 5,000 Scoville units. There are other brands that have surpassed Dave's sauce "hotness" (Blair's 16 Million Reserve is said to be sixteen million Scoville units) but those are said to mostly be just short of being pure capsaicin extract and not really a "sauce". The nice girl at Firehouse Subs said that 357 Mad Dog is supposed to be much hotter than the Dave's products. But since Dave's is the "ultra hot" sauce that I've heard of longer than any of them, I got the Dave's Ultimate Insanity.

And right now, like Luther Driggers and his bottle of poison, I'm just looking at my bottle of Dave's Ultimate Insanity: holding it in my hands, wondering if I should dare break the plastic seal and open the bottle and at least sniff the stuff. I haven't done that. I don't know if I will do that: it's just fun knowing that I finally have such a thing in my grubby lil' paws, in case I do ever need - or want - to use it.

So... should I try it? After seeing YouTube videos of people trying it raw, I am, needless to say, a little reluctant. That the bottle explicitly states "Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart or respiratory problems." isn't helping matters much. And yet, it's so tempting to give it a try...

I might do that, sometime soon. And post the video footage of the experiment here. If not for sake of daring, then because I'm wondering how this might be a neat thing to add to my concoction of marinade the next time I deep-fry a turkey.

In the meantime, it's a wonderful feeling to have a bottle of something that is described as being a potential health-hazard to others :-)

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You know those peppers that Papa John's puts in the boxes along with the pizza?

Well, I just ate one.

DAY-UMMMNNN are those things hot!!

If you ever wondered what they tasted like, and had the temptation to try one, brace yourself: they will make your taste buds blister.

I kinda liked it though. Maybe next time I'll ask them to pack a few more of them in along with the pizza.

The hottest pepper on Earth is said to be the Bhut Jolokia, which I've heard is so hot that it'll burn bare human skin on contact. Most companies that sell it have you sign a waiver stating that you understand the danger that comes with handling such a thing.

So of course, I'm hoping to try it for myself someday :-)

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