Here is a new photo of Tammy!

Today was a very good day.  God answered prayer and provided for my needs in a mighty and powerful way.  I am going to bed tonight thankful for His provision and for the people He used to accomplish it with.

And since it's been awhile since I've posted a pic of her, here is my miniature dachshund Tammy making a German spectacle of herself.  How shameless!

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Power or Wisdom? Stop asking God to interfere with politics

In searching around for churches in this area, obviously I'm looking at their websites.  I'm studying a few things, particularly their various statements of belief.  In that regard I'll simply say this: there are already a number of places of worship which I regrettably cannot enter.  It would be like bringing a blowtorch aboard the Hindenburg.

No disrespect to those places is meant.  I believe they and I worship the same God.  We differ however in aspects of that which while ultimately meaningless, are as unavoidable in this carnal realm as they are indicative of the imperfect nature of the church as the body of Christ upon this earth.

As I was saying, I'm perusing the websites of places of worship.  Looking for certain qualities.  And with the advent of streaming video I'm now able to watch and listen to recent sermons.  Sort-of like the Esper machine: getting to search a place without actually being there.

(Wait, did I just make a Blade Runner reference...?!?)

So a few nights ago, with nothing else to do (because of tech issues keeping me from my AI work, grrrr...) I was back at ogling church websites.  I literally have told Google to search for "churches near me" and it produces a map with every place of worship and, if available, their website addresses.  How convenient!

There is one church a few miles away from here that I didn't know anything about, other than it's a Baptist congregation unaffiliated with any larger contingent of the faithful.  I read over the site, and didn't find anything that would be objectionable.  It went down on my list of possible places to visit.  And it would have likely stayed there until I got around to checking it out in person...

Then I watched this past Sunday's worship service and listened to the message being preached.

Folks, there are very few things that will have me more walking out, however impolite it may seem, than a sermon that turns blatantly political.

Especially as "conservative" as the message I listened to.  Because conscientious conservatives really ought to know better.

The entirety of the pastor's message was about the evils of liberalism.  I don't mean liberalism in the spiritual sense, which would have been fine and even expected to be touched upon at various times.  No, I mean liberalism as in the temporal notion.

It was using the authority of the pastor to abuse the name of God for the furtherance of a political ideology.  Something I have LONG believed is wrong.

So it is that this church gets a hard pass from me.

It's like this: I believe that each of us as citizens has the responsibility to choose our leaders in representative government.  But it is WRONG for those with spiritual responsibility to decree who it is that his congregants should vote for.  And that is what I saw in this message.

What should a pastor or other minister preach about politics, then?  I do not believe the issue is completely off the table.  I don't believe that the elders of yore would have thought so, either.

I also don't believe that it makes a difference to God as to who we ask Him to favor in our elections.  Asking Him to please let Donald Trump win in November is going to mean as much to God as is asking Him to let the Patriots win another Super Bowl.  Indeed it's even more ridiculous to ask Him to favor some candidates over others.  Doing so would violate the concepts of free will and choice.  God has given us choice all along.  He has also given those of us in the free world the right to choose our leaders.

For good or ill, the onus is upon us, and not God, to well pick our representatives and executives.

So, if a minister has some authority to expound upon political matters, what is left if the endorsement of candidates is wildly inappropriate?

How about this instead: rather than trying to sway his listeners to vote either this way or that, a minister instead leads his flock in seeking WISDOM toward making their choices at the ballot box.

Isn't that what we as Christians should be seeking in all of our matters?  That God might liberally (pun shamelessly intended) pour upon us the capacity to discern wisely and to act upon that wisdom with a resolute mind and determined will. 

Should not that be what we are to pray for, instead of for our favorite candidates winning at the polls?

We can choose to have wisdom.  Or we can choose to crave power.  We have been doing the latter for so long that we've practically forgotten about wisdom at all.  And we have suffered for that.

It is not God who has inflicted the metaphorical poxes upon our land.  He is merely letting us have what we vote for.  Free choice, remember?

I would posit that it has been a lack of lusting for wisdom which has brought America to the brink of calamity.  And it has been many if not most of her Christians who have greatly encouraged that folly.  It is the Christians of this land who should have been the very first to appeal to Heaven for wisdom and discernment.  That is the vessel of true power.  Not power itself, which we have deluded ourselves into believing we must wield.

Because in America at least, God has already granted her people all the power that they could possibly require.  But how to exercise that power?  That is something that we should have been petitioning God for all along.

Would it at all hurt us to start fervently oraying for change of hearts and minds instead of obsessively praying for change in Washington?

I know what is that I am praying for.  And it is not for a candidate to win.

I will pray, that the people of this land lay aside their appetites for force and power.  And instead that they would use the authority granted them with discernment and wisdom.

God WILL grant us those things, if we ask Him.

But He is not going to be moved when we ask Him to interfere directly with the politicks of these United States.

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Fear and faith in the realm of miracles

It would not at all be inaccurate to state that more than any other time in my entire life, I have not been as scared as I have been for more than a week now.

It would be just as rightfully said that in that same span of time I have witnessed nothing short than a miracle.  Maybe even more than one.

Dad had a stroke on Tuesday of last week.

It was incredibly fortunate that it began in a physician's office.  That it was recognized in the earliest stage possible and that as a result 9-1-1- was called and Dad was immediately taken from Reidsville to the best hospital in Greensboro.  If it was meant for Dad to have a stroke, well... he could have been out on his tractor plowing a field when it happened and nobody would have known about it until it was much too late.

Instead he was taken to the hospital and the drug TPA was administered at once.  This is the medication that breaks up blood clots.

I'm counting all of that as the first miracle.  A miracle of timing that extends way past mere coincidence.

I would be remiss if I did not add however that I had never been so frightened as I was then.  I didn't want to lose Dad.  I love him.  He's always been there for me.  I wouldn't be writing my book if it hadn't been for his gentle prodding to do so for so many months.  He has helped me throughout these past few years in dealing with my manic-depression.  He has taught me things that I never knew before, like how to make a good pound cake.

I'll tell you a secret.  I have wanted my book to be sold.  I've been giving this effort my very best, not just for my own sake but for his.  The plan has always been that when it sold I was going to take Dad on a trip somewhere.  Maybe to Arizona.  Maybe to Scotland.

It's not like it was with Mom.  We watched her health gradually deteriorate over the course of three or four years.  When the time came it wasn't without expectation.  When the time came, we were able to let go.  Able to let her lingeringly drift away above and beyond her pain.

It's different when something as sudden as a stroke occurs.  You can't see it coming.  You don't know what is going to happen as a result of it.  All of those plans and more, just gone.  Not knowing if a loved one is going to make it or not.

So it was that the day after the stroke, Dad began to have significant bleeding on the brain.  TPA is practically a miracle drug if given without the first three hours of the stroke, and Dad was given it less than 45 minutes, maybe even 30 minutes, after the stroke began.  Unfortunately TPA brings with it the risk of cerebral bleeding.  And that is what happened.

I saw the area of the bleeding on the scan they did of him.  The big white space is going to forever be etched in my memory.

Fear upon fear upon fear.  I looked at Dad laying on his bed in ICU and the horrible realization finally sank in that I might actually lose him.  And it seemed that God wasn't listening to my prayers.

I'll admit to something else: I've long been afraid that God doesn't hear my prayers.

Maybe He doesn't hear because it is extremely difficult for me to do it with my mouth.  Manic-depression causes my thoughts to run way too fast and sometimes my lips can't catch up.  So my prayers more often than not are from my heart and not my tongue.  Then there is wondering if the bipolar itself is causing Him to not make anything out from the internal dissonance, or if it's just that my mind can't hear Him.

I've wondered if I'm too far away from Him for God to listen.  Yes, there are times when I wonder if I'm too far damned for things that I have done during my life.  Things that I have begged forgiveness for but seem to have never experienced that saving grace.

Dad's brain was awash in blood that should not have been there and my prayers were going no further than the ceiling of his room, it seemed.

That was fear.  That was fear that I've never had before and I pray will never happen again or that it will ever happen to anyone else.

Dad was stable, more or less, for the next few days.  The edema wasn't growing and in fact appeared to be subsiding.  But the following day, on Friday, Dad went into respiratory failure.  During which time his heart stopped beating.  The nurses were about to take him to another room outside of ICU.  Doctors and nurses who were in the same ward went quickly to work and brought him back to normal (whatever "normal" is in this kind of circumstance).  The doctor told us that Dad had experienced a seizure and that the heart stopping momentarily (and his heart did quickly re-start on its own) was not uncommon in cases of stroke.

I don't know what would have happened if all of that staff, with so many years of knowledge and experience, had not jumped into action as they did.

That was the second miracle.  And that's what these were: nothing short of miracles from God.  Miracles of timing, yes.  But that makes them no less potent or awe-infusing.

It was in the first day or two of Dad's stroke that I began asking others to please keep him in their thoughts and prayers.  My logic was this: if God isn't hearing my own prayers, maybe He will listen to those of others who are far closer to Him than I am or may ever be.  That is what happened.  I asked for prayer here (some quietly told me that they have done that, without knowing what it was that was going on to evoke those prayers).  I asked for it on Facebook.  I asked for it from my counselor.  I asked for it from anyone who I knew at all, and then some.

To pray means to petition God for something, even if it's just for a little slice of His time to hear you out.  I added my own to those being spoken by literally hundreds of people, from Reidsville to Hawaii to Germany and everywhere in between.  Dad was being lifted up by people he didn't know and probably never would otherwise know were there.  When he can, I'm going to show him the prayers that my friends on Facebook alone were showering him with.

I'm more thankful than I can possibly express that there is now a chance that that will happen.  Because a few days ago on Monday we really did almost lose Dad.

He had been on a respirator since Thursday (I hope I'm getting these dates right, if not I can always look at the prayer requests on Facebook instead of trying to rely on stressful memory).  After two days he was doing well enough that he was taken off of that.  On Monday afternoon I called my sister - who has been part of the constant vigil we have been keeping at the hospital - to ask how Dad was doing.

She was in tears.  She told me that he was back on the respirator and that Dad was unresponsive and that the damage to his brain might now have been so severe that there was no hope for him whatsoever.

Again, I cannot at all express the fear that enveloped my family and I.

Monday afternoon Dad's sister talked with the doctors.  She talked with Dad's pastor who has been with us so much throughout this ordeal.  Then she talked to my sister, who is a medical professional.  And then in the chapel all of them spoke with me and not for the first time but certainly the most I came almost entirely unglued inside.

I need to elaborate on something here: all through this time I've been holding it together far better than I would have ever anticipated.  I'm being there for my family, for Dad's sake because he would want me to not lose my nerve.  For myself most of all, because I have come this far already.  That doesn't mean that I'm not a mess inside, because going through this has certainly done that.  But at least I'm there enough for those around me.  This has become one of the most incendiary events so far as my bipolar disorder is concerned but... well, again I don't know how else it's happened other than a very real miracle and knowing that it's not been just Dad but also myself who has been sustained by the prayers of so many people.

It's been more than enough to make one believe that God does really hear our prayers.  Even those of people who feel most distant from Him.

My aunt and Dad's pastor conferred with my sister and I.  And, well... there is no real other way to put it: the family agreed that in keeping with what Dad had expressed to us before, that a do-not-resuscitate order would be signed for him.  Meaning that drastic actions to save his life would be withheld if he went into a state that would have rendered him, in so many words, a vegetable for the rest of his life.  That didn't mean that treatment itself would be withheld, because the doctors and nurses have been as committed to helping Dad as much as any patient possibly could be helped.  I saw that on Friday, when his bed was surrounded so much by staff that my sister and I couldn't make him out at all.

To possibly allow Dad's life to be terminated was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make.

For as long as I live I'm never going to forget Dad opening his eyes so briefly, and me telling him that I loved him and his barely-audible voice saying "I love you too".  And I thought that would be the last that I ever heard from him.

Anita (my sister) and I spent the rest of the evening at his bedside.  Holding his hands.  Telling him we loved him and always would.  Whispering to him that if he wanted to let go, that he could.

And all of this time, our friends on Facebook were praying harder than ever for Dad.  For which, I will never be thankful enough.

I went home at 3 in the morning.  I don't remember how I drove back.  Tammy, our dog, needed to be fed and watered (thankfully a cousin had been given a spare house key so he took care of her several hours earlier).  Sleep never came.  Time stretched and spread out too thin.  Not even my medication worked.

That was the longest night of my life.

I'd withheld taking one medication because it's one that does cause drowsiness.  I had withheld it because I didn't know if I had to go back to the hospital and I needed my faculties for it in case I did.  But by 5 a.m. the depression was creeping in and I had little choice but to take the drug.  It was either be awake and my mind collapsing into a massive spiral, or succumb to drowsiness, let my mind rest and be there for my family when they would potentially need it most.  I knew what Dad would have me do in that situation: he would want me to take care of myself first.  So that's what I did.

Several hours later the next miracle began...

I called Anita.  She told me that Dad was doing much better.  That his responsiveness was returning, that he was able to breathe somewhat but that they were still keeping him on the respirator.  He was opening his eyes more when someone spoke to him.  And he did speak to us!  In fact, he told us something so hysterically funny and somewhat vulgar that I can't print here.  But I don't care: my father was alive and communicating, and that's all that mattered.

Later that evening the nurse showed me something.  The stroke has left Dad immobile on his left side.  The nurse put her fingers into Dad's left hand and told him to squeeze around her fingers.

And he did.

Yesterday was even better: he was taken off the respirator.  He wasn't quite whispering but he still had things to tell us that we could just barely make out.  He said something else vulgar that I had to laugh at.  And my aunt and I saw him move his left arm.  Not just fingers, but his entire arm.  Not much, not even lifting it over the blanket on his bed.  But he moved it all the same.

Dad is alive.  And I am absolutely praising God for bringing him so far in such little time.  I went home last night and got down on my knees to thank Him for this and thanking Him for all of the people in my life and that of my family who have been praying for him.  Dad was doing so well last night that we were able to end our vigil.  So after my prayer of thanksgiving I played with Tammy, then I made a pizza and finally got to use that bottle of original brand Sriracha sauce that I found over the weekend, then I ate while watching Thor.  Then I did something I haven't done in two weeks: sent out queries to potential agents (this is the toughest part of writing a book, the gauntlet that every author must run and I'm no different).  Then I let myself play some TIE Fighter and before going to bed I prayed for another ten minutes and then crashed harder than I've ever crashed asleep before.

Don't tell me that there is no such thing as miracles.  I've seen them. From the time when all of this started, on through what is going on right now and especially what happened during the night between Monday and Tuesday.  We really were bracing ourselves for the worst.  By the estimation of practically everyone Dad should not have survived, much less begin to demonstrate responsiveness and motility that defies all sense of reason.

Don't tell me that prayers don't work.  I don't know if my own did, but those of a lot of people better than I certainly did.  And Dad is being lifted up in them still, even now.

A friend told me yesterday that maybe I'm being too negative, too down on myself about whether God is hearing me.  And she's right: I am too critical of myself.  But she also told me that all of this is something God has been using to increase my faith, to make me stronger.  To make me more the person that He intended for me to be.

If so, then that also is one more miracle from this situation.  And in its own way, the one that is personally to me the most amazing of all.

Dad is not out of the woods yet.  There is still a long hard road ahead of us.  In keeping him stabilized and then the therapy which will hopefully restore a measure of normalcy to his life.  I've told the staff that Dad is a knifemaker, and that he needs to be able to swing a hammer at the red-hot steel he holds down on his anvil.  The staff thought that was another interesting thing about a patient who told me "was quite a character".

I don't know what is going to happen from here on out.  I do know that Dad is still in need of a lot of prayer and thought.  For those who I have reached out to through this blog and have done so, I am exceptionally thankful that you have done that.  I ask that you please continue to keep Dad and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Miracles.  They happen.  In the past several days, I've seen them.  I have seen a lot of things in my life that can't be explained by the senses of science and medicine.  When you witness your own parent go from the very edge of death to having a fighting chance at life, nothing else comes close.

Miracles happen.

Fear is not forever.

And faith?  Faith manages.

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A prayer of thanks

"My God, I have never thanked thee for my thorn. I have thanked thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorn. Teach me the glory of my cross, teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to thee by the path of my pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows."
-- George Matheson

Rob Mancuso, a very dear friend and brother in Christ since college, shared that prayer with me this evening.  I am going to share it here too, with others who may also need some comfort right now.

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Reconsidered

Like Michael Corleone said: "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."

Last week I posted that it might be goodbye for good for my blogging.  Lots of things went into that.  I have wound up extremely busy with work-related stuff lately (speaking of which, I'm soon going to be advertising freelance writing services on this blog, and if you want to go ahead and solicit my services e-mail me at theknightshift@gmail.com and I'll be happy to discuss it with you!).

And then, from my perspective, some... very lousy things happened on this end.  My spirit wound up darn nearly broken.  Friends counseled me to not be discouraged, to keep going.  That this blog has given them hope when they needed it, even if at times I myself feel little or no hope at all.

Huh.  Imagine that.  Getting hope from the hopeless.  I suppose anything is possible...

Maybe just as writing about the bipolar disorder has been, I should keep writing to... stay grounded, stay focused, on things.  Keep grounded in reality.  Be able to see beyond my own problems.  Maybe even offer something worth visiting this blog for people who are needing something to smile or laugh at.  Who knows: maybe even provide something new to think about.

So for the time being, I'm going to stick with it.  I'm going to try even to have a new photo of Tammy up tomorrow.  The frequency of posting may not be very often, at least not for the time being.  But it will be something, anyway.

Just one thing that I'd like to ask: this is a very difficult time for me right now.  However it is that you can or are led to, some prayer for Yours Truly would be seriously, seriously appreciated.  I don't know how I've been brought through the past week, except for God bringing me to where I am now.  I have to thank Him and I have to thank those who have kept me in their prayers.

I suppose, if there is any hope at all in this world, that is where it is going to begin...

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Thoughts about public prayer at the Rockingham County Board of Education

At last night's monthly work meeting of the Rockingham County Board of Education, the proposal was put forth that the board should begin each session with prayer.  It's been a longstanding custom to have a moment of silence.  If the board approves of it at the May 13th meeting, that would be replaced with a public prayer before an official function of government.

Here's the story from today's News & Record...

Board members spent nearly an hour talking through the finer points of whether they should open meetings with prayer. It was discussion that at times became tense but never contentious.

The school board currently opens its meetings with a moment of silence. Board member Ron Price asked the board to consider adding prayers during the last meeting.

The members will vote on the issue May 13

The possibility of a lawsuit was brought up Monday night by board member Amanda Bell. She said she doesn’t want to put the school board at risk

Fellow member Leonard Pryor also echoed those concerns.

“It’s my firm opinion we’ll be sued,” Pryor said

Earlier this month, legislators proposed a bill allowing for the establishment of an official state religion. The bill, which died in committee, was a reaction to a recent lawsuit against Rowan County, whose Board of Commissioners insist on having explicitly Christian prayers before meetings

Forsyth County lost a similar lawsuit in 2011, and the state Supreme Court refused to hear the case last year

Guilford County commissioners are currently reviewing their prayer policy

Price said there is a way to have an invocation without crossing the legal line

“We have to have a format before we can say, ‘OK, we can do this without violating the court’s decision,’ ” Price said.

I'm of a few opinions about this, and they're not necessarily contradictory.

Of immediate concern is that adopting a policy of prayer before the meetings will make the Board of Education wide-open bait for a lawsuit.  And don't think that there are already "civil rights" lawyers who've already gotten a whiff of blood about it, too.  Are the board members prepared for a long, drawn-out legal battle which will cost the taxpayers of Rockingham County money which, I hate to say, we are sorely lacking at the moment?

However, I'm also of the mind that this should not be fodder for a lawsuit at all... because it's not really a matter for outsiders to come and meddle with at all.

I've never understood how something like prayer at events like public meetings, high school football games and the like could ever be an infringement of the rights of any person, or group of people.  We are a constitutional republic, one purpose of which is to defend the minority from the depredations of a majority.  It's why as a whole we aren't a pure democracy.  But so far as public prayer goes: what is there to be defended, at all?

It's like this: so long as it is not a violation of the rights and privileges a person has as defined by the Constitution, there is a lot of leeway for a local unit of government on such matters as choosing whether or not to open a hearing with prayer.  Or a moment of silence.  Or nothing at all.

The way it should be is that the people of Rockingham County will let the board members know what they - the citizens - wish in this regard.  And then the Board of Education will discuss and vote from there.  If by and large the people of Rockingham County approve of it, then there can and should be prayer before the meetings (preferably with a rotating roster of local clergy).  If people disagree, then they should lobby to change the policy.  If they believe it is important enough then individuals should take it upon themselves to run for seats on the Board of Education in the next election.  In fact, I would even suggest that the current board members be made aware of that... and in no uncertain terms!  There is a lot to be said of accountability from your publick officials when they realize their actions can lead to possible unseat-ment.

Again, this is a local matter.  One that we ourselves, the citizens of Rockingham County, should define for ourselves.  If there was a public school district in, say, a predominantly Catholic area in New Jersey and the board chose to reflect and respect the population it serves, it should be free to ask a Catholic priest to offer a prayer of invocation at its meetings.  Our friends in Utah should be free to let a Mormon minister do likewise at their hearings.  The same holds true for a predominantly Jewish community, if it would like a rabbi to bless each meeting.  In Rockingham County's case, it's safe to say that we are quite a melting pot of various perspectives about God... but for all intents and purposes this is a community that does have a faith in God.  We may not agree with all the particulars about Him, and whoever is asked by the board should understand and appreciate that.  But if we as a locality desire to ask for His wisdom and guidance in our public hearings, then we should be afforded that liberty... and without the fear of lawsuit from external interests!

However, there is one last thing I wish to be considered: that asking God for that wisdom and guidance doesn't begin with any action or permission within the halls of any earthly government.

I have no reason to believe that a public prayer before a school board meeting, a county commissioners meeting or a session of the United States Senate is going to be any more sacred than a prayer each and every person offers to God in quiet solitude at home, or beneath a tree, or wherever a person happens to feel they need to be for that communion.  We can let a minister speak to God on our behalf at a public meeting, but we listen to God best when we are alone with Him.

In other words: a public prayer is of little or no good if the people sanctioning it can not and will not pray to Him on their own.

It was once said that America is great because her people are a virtuous people.  But we have come to expect, even demand a "virtue by proxy".  Many of us petition and scream for public prayer, or a display of the Ten Commandments in the courthouses and schoolhouses, or that a Christian cross be put up in a city-owned park.

I have no problem with any of those things whatsoever.  I do however have a lot of problem when such material symbols take upon greater importance than the meaning behind them.  We have more desire to see a thing with our eyes than to have a thing inscribed upon our hearts...

...and that is what I would ask the members of the Rockingham County Board of Education to consider, as well as any who are considering similar measures.

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North Carolina lawmakers want statewide official religion

Earlier this morning I first read about this and ever since I've been trying to find a measure of absurd purpose or mad brilliance in this legislation... but if it's there I can't find it.

Two members of this state's House of Representatives have filed House Bill 494, which if passed would allow for an official religion to be imposed upon North Carolina.

It's not a late April Fools joke.  Representatives Harry Warren and Carl Ford (each of Rowan County) want an official state religion which would circumvent judicial rulings on prayer at government functions within North Carolina.  Presumably this would be in response to courts which have struck down prayers at county commissioner meetings, school board hearings and the like.  Eleven other representatives so far have backed the proposal.

"The Constitution of the United States does not grant the federal government and does not grant the federal courts the power to determine what is or is not constitutional; therefore, by virtue of the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, the power to determine constitutionality and the proper interpretation and proper application of the Constitution is reserved to the states and to the people... Each state in the union is sovereign and may independently determine how that state may make laws respecting an establishment of religion."

Here's the real meat of HB 494...

SECTION 1. The North Carolina General Assembly asserts that the Constitution of the United States of America does not prohibit states or their subsidiaries from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.

SECTION 2. The North Carolina General Assembly does not recognize federal court rulings which prohibit and otherwise regulate the State of North Carolina, its public schools or any political subdivisions of the State from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.

To be fair, the bill does not specify any particular religion.

If this is about localities getting to choose on their own whether or not they will have prayers to open their meetings, then I understand that frustration: the courts have been interfering beyond the scope of their rational interests in regard to prayers which have had a ceremonial role with no bearing on official policy or writing of legislation.

But this is the wrong way to address that concern.  In fact, it's incredibly, insanely irresponsible.  Unethical.  Immoral.  And this is un-Constitutional: in spirit of the law if not in letter of the law.

Warren and Ford consider themselves to be "conservatives".  But there is nothing conservative whatsoever about HB 494.  And faith enforced is no faith at all.

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Dear friends in the Northeast...

Good night, and good luck.

October 29 2012: Hurricane Sandy floods the site of the World Trade Center in New York City

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A prayer for all people, in all times

Confederate Soldier's Prayer

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I that I asked for but got everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed.

-- Found on the body of a Confederate Soldier, 1861-1865

Good friend, fellow historian and Civil War buff Taryn Farmer shared this with her friends earlier today. I thought it would be well worth sharing with this blog's readers.

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Thoughts and prayers going out across the South

This past week, the southeastern United States has been thrashed in the worst way.

Sanford, here in my home state of North Carolina, is still recovering from a horrific tornado that went through there this past weekend. And since Tuesday communities from Mississippi and Arkansas all the way east to Virginia have been hit by even worse storms. At this hour the death toll is approaching 300, in what is being called the most devastating outbreak of tornadoes the south has ever seen. We were under tornado watch for most of yesterday and early this morning but, doesn't look like any touched down.

For those who are hurting this day, our thoughts and prayers go out to you.

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I said that I was serious

Most people took me at my word but there were some who said that I was "crazy", one even said "Chris this should make you happy".

No, I'm not. Nothing about this has brought me one iota of "happy". To those who have thought such a thing: there is something very, VERY wrong with you and I do pray that you consider what the @&$# it is that you are saying. Because as I said last time, I would NEVER wish this on ANYBODY.

A little over a week ago this blog passed along the news that Johnny Robertson has been diagnosed with colon cancer. This afternoon two phone calls and a bunch of e-mails have come in with an update...

Johnny Robertson's cancer is now at stage 3. That's the point where the tumor's growth is well advanced and begun to metastasize.

I am being told that Mr. Robertson's chances at recovering from this are not as well as anyone would appreciate. And that apparently he is due for emergency surgery on Wednesday.

This shouldn't need to be said, but I guess somebody has to...

It rains on the just and the unjust alike. And there is NOT ONE OF US who is alive on this earth, but for the grace of God. NOT ONE!!! And if anyone reading my words are somehow feeling glib about Johnny Robertson's condition then... whatever he has done, someone who is feeling that way toward him right now is far, FAR sicker in mind and soul!!

It's not left to us to judge the condition of another's soul. That is not something that any of us in this world are qualified for. And yes, I know: Robertson and his followers judge others constantly. They are... well, they have a reputation (and that's all that I'm going to say about their activities at this time).

Put that aside. All of it. Don't let that come between any of us and the better angels of our nature.

This is not an occasion for spite. This is an occasion for faith and for humility and for prayer. And yes: this is an occasion for love. Love just as Christ loved us first.

So I'm now reiterating what I asked for over a week ago: Please put aside whatever else you feel toward Mr. Robertson, and hold him up in prayer. Ask God to bring him healing. Ask God to bring the peace which surpasses all understanding to him and his family.

Johnny, if you are reading this: you are being prayed for. No doubt by many people that you would be genuinely surprised to know are doing that for you. And we're not going to stop holding you up in our thoughts and prayers.

And if anybody doesn't like that, well... tough!

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An appeal for prayer on behalf of someone (And yes, I'm serious)

I'm not going to say much more than needs to be said about this, because in spite of everything I wouldn't wish this on anybody.

Several readers of this blog have notified me that Johnny Robertson has been diagnosed with colon cancer. And apparently it's pretty severe.

So I'm asking everyone who is reading this: Please put aside whatever else you feel toward Mr. Robertson, and hold him up in prayer. Ask God to bring him healing. Ask God to bring the peace which surpasses all understanding to him and his family.

Johnny, regardless of the past, I will be praying for you to fully recover from this. And I'm going to sincerely encourage everyone that I know to do the same for you.

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A request to this blog's readers

Dear friends that I have known and friends that I look forward to making in God's time:

I have never asked anything like this in my life. But tonight, I am needing this more than anything else...

I only ask that you please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

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My prayer for this afternoon

My Heavenly Father,

This afternoon I ask for peace and comfort for those who need it most.

And for myself, I ask only for a peace of mind that I have been unable to know for so very long.

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My prayer for this day

I have to try. I can't not try.

I have only ever fought hardest for that which was worth fighting for.

I no longer know whether to expect anyone else to believe that. But my Lord and Savior knows.

Dear Father, please let all that I do be to Your glory, and not for my own sake.

I only ask that in Your own way, that You remember Your servant who has failed more times than not, but has ever sought to put You first.

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My prayer tonight

My Lord,

Please help me to let go, and to let You.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

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A thought on politics and prayer

Instead of asking God to move the minds of politicians closer to your beliefs, why not ask God to move your own mind closer to Himself?

Seems that would be a more effective use of prayer, anyway. And would likely work a far more impressive and greater good across society in the long run.

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Please keep Haiti in your prayers y'all

Yesterday's 7.3 earthquake in Port-au-Prince, Haiti is fast shaping up to be one of the worst natural disasters of recent memory. I'm hearing that this is the biggest tremblor in two centuries to hit the area.

Here's asking this blog's readers to please hold the Haitian people up in your thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come. Lord knows, they're gonna need it.

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A prayer from the heart

Dear Lord,

I know that it rains on the just and the unjust alike.

I'm trying hard not to doubt Your will, and Your timing.

Lord, all I'm asking is that You please let it fall not so hard for awhile on really good people who are going through a very hard time right now.

(And for all of you reading this blog, I'd really appreciate it if y'all would keep the McCollum and Webster families in your thoughts and prayers.)

The peace of Christ surpasses all understanding. Let it come now to they who need it most.

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No, I will NOT observe the "National Day of Prayer" today...

Wanna know why?

Because for one thing, as a follower of Christ, I just don't see the purpose of it.

What is the point of a nationwide "prayer holiday", if we are already to seek after Christ with all our hearts? In 1st Thessalonians, chapter 5 we are instructed to "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (verses 16-18).

Maybe it's just me, but holding up a single day out of the year to spend in prayer smacks too much of being an excuse to not have to pray as much or as sincerely the rest of the time.

And why attempt a "mass prayer" at all? We are told that not even one sparrow "is forgotten by God" if it falls to the ground (Luke 12:6). Certainly our Father then will hear even the smallest prayer of the very least of His children. Putting our prayers together as collective force will not compel Him to hear us any clearer.

And then... what precisely are we supposed to be praying about, on this day of all days?

Here is what some Christians have declared they will be bringing up in prayer. From the Detroit Free Press...

We ... proudly call ourselves a Christian nation," the Rev. Terry Frazier, pastor of Liberty Foursquare Church in Warren, told a crowd of hundreds gathered at Warren City Hall. "Restore the ability for Bibles to be used in our classroom again. ... And may our nation declare that Jesus Christ is Lord."

There is so much wrong with what Rev. Frazier is saying here, that I don't know where to begin.

And from the National Day of Prayer Task Force (a "task force" on prayer?!)...

The National Day of Prayer Task Force's mission is to communicate with every individual the need for personal repentance and prayer, mobilizing the Christian community to intercede for America and its leadership in the seven centers of power: Government, Military, Media, Business, Education, Church and Family.

My friends, this is why I cannot, as a matter of personal conscience, partake or approve of the "National Day of Prayer".

I know how it started. Once upon a time, it was meant as a sincere appeal to God for mercy. Here's the text of President Abraham Lincoln's proclamation of a national day of prayer, delivered on March 30th, 1863...

Whereas, the Senate of the United States, devoutly recognizing the Supreme Authority and just Government of Almighty God, in all the affairs of men and of nations, has, by a resolution, requested the President to designate and set apart a day for National prayer and humiliation.

And whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions, in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord.

And, insomuch as we know that, by His divine law, nations like individuals are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war, which now desolates the land, may be but a punishment, inflicted upon us, for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole People? We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!

It behooves us then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.

Now, therefore, in compliance with the request, and fully concurring in the views of the Senate, I do, by this my proclamation, designate and set apart Thursday, the 30th. day of April, 1863, as a day of national humiliation, fasting and prayer. And I do hereby request all the People to abstain, on that day, from their ordinary secular pursuits, and to unite, at their several places of public worship and their respective homes, in keeping the day holy to the Lord, and devoted to the humble discharge of the religious duties proper to that solemn occasion.

All this being done, in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope authorized by the Divine teachings, that the united cry of the Nation will be heard on high, and answered with blessings, no less than the pardon of our national sins, and the restoration of our now divided and suffering Country, to its former happy condition of unity and peace.

I hope y'all will have noticed the words that I have highlighted in Lincoln's text... because you'll be hard-pressed to find anything like them in today's appeals for "national prayer" as abundantly or prominently.

Whatever happened to humility?

Why does it seem like somewhere along the way, it became "wrong" to acknowledge that yes, we are weak?

And how dare we petition God for His favor when we hawk our own arrogance and pride?

Because, let's be honest about what the "National Day of Prayer" has become. It's no longer a day about petitioning God for the right reasons.

It's become about demanding that He actively interfere in the world, per our own understanding.

(There's something about that in Proverbs 3:5, if you wanna look it up.)

Why am I not going to participate in the National Day of Prayer?

Because honestly, I don't believe it's going to do any good.

I've no doubt that there is correlation between how corrupt America has become, and how many of those among her people who profess to follow Christ have refused to be penitent and humble. How we have for the most part neglected to remember that the first requisite of sincere prayer is to acknowledge our place before the Lord.

We have forgotten how to ask that His will be done, not our own.

I don't believe God will heed the prayers directed by the "National Day of Prayer Task Force". Because they and far too many others are presuming to have a wisdom that is NOT theirs.

I don't want to see a "National Day of Prayer" ever again. Not as it is being encouraged and promoted. America does not need that.

What America does need, is a National Day of REPENTANCE.

It is way past time for the Christians of this land to get off their high horse and examine their own conscience, lowering themselves into the proverbial ashes and sackcloth (whether figuratively or literally should be left as a personal choice). And not as a collective effort by an organized mob either, but instead that we should encourage this of each other as individuals.

Because, folks, there is no "Christian nation" without there being Christ at work within us to begin with. And for His glory, not that of our own.

It could very well be that God has removed His guiding hand from this country because we have removed His hand from our hearts.

Perhaps if those of us who claim to follow Him might stop trying to make others yield to us and instead we yield to Him first, we might begin to see that turn toward the better that many are no doubt earnestly praying for today.

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