Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Getting geared up to start teachin' again
Monday, November 14, 2005
Did the original Christians worship the military?
Were the early Christians warmongers like too many Christians are today? Did they idolize the Caesars like some Christians idolize President Bush? Did they make signs that said "the emperor" similar to the ones we see on cars today that refer to Bush as "the president"? Did they make apologies for the Roman Empire like some Christian apologists make for the U.S. Empire? Did they venerate the institution of the military like many Christians do today?Mash down here for plenty more.C. John Cadoux would say no.
Remember: These guys are President Bush's very bestest friends
Lest we forget how close "Christian" President Bush is to those who rule Saudi Arabia...

The funniest graphic I've ever made
I've been working on it for most of the night. This was just one of those things that once the notion of it possesses you, you're on fire for it. This was something like Forcery was, but it's a heckuva lot easier working with Photoshop than it is to make a film. So most of the past several hours I've spent hunched over the keyboard, scouring the 'net for certain visual elements (which were surprisingly hard to find, but the perfect one did turn up) and a new font or two, to match up with the ones used in the original. And apart from some very minor tweaking, I think I achieved the final form of the thing a short while ago. And it's really hilarious.
"So where is this thing?" Well, that's the bad news: I can't show it right now. Even though I'm dying to share this with the world. If I posted this graphic now it would - not "might" but "would" - cause a helluva lot of confusion that I would be scrambling to clarify. There would be wild rumors flying all over the place because of it. And it would just totally ruin the moment that this is really meant for.
So for the time being I'm going to sit on it. I've passed it along to a VERY few friends, just to see what their reaction is (so they'll tell me if this is going too far, but I think I'm pretty safe :-) But otherwise this is going to stay confined to my hard drive. I'm going to say that probably this time next year, or maybe a bit before then, is when the season will be ripe to share this with everyone. Gotta get a few other things lined up in the meantime. If/when I publish this I'll make a permanent link to it in the Recent Hightlights section on the right so nobody will miss it.
Trust me, I ain't joshin' y'all: this will probably make you honk with laughter. Find out what it is... sometime in 2006!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Disney has gone to the dogs

BTW, the original The Shaggy Dog is a pretty funny movie. I saw it years ago, and not long afterward I happened to catch its sequel The Shaggy D.A.. The original stars Fred MacMurray, who played the scoutmaster in that movie Follow Me, Boys! that I wrote about awhile back. Good, classic Disney fare that doesn't need any mangling by Michael Eisner.
Hollywood Blacklist is also reporting that the trailer for The DaVinci Code is going to be attached to Peter Jackson's King Kong next month. That'll probably be the closest I ever get to anything relating to The DaVinci Code. For my thoughts on that - and some info on a MUCH more intriguing story regarding that kind of stuff - read this post from this past January.
Bill Gates gets DOOMed
Windows 95 had been out for barely two months when Microsoft held their Judgement Day event on October 30th, 1995. Hosted on the Microsoft campus in Redmond, Washington, it was a massive showcase of Windows 95 as a gaming platform, and an opportunity for third-party game developers to hawk the products they would soon be rolling out. Microsoft's garage and cafeteria were converted into a "haunted mansion", with each attendee given their own section to decorate. It sounds like it was a pretty wild time...
...Among the attendees were LucasArts, Activsion, and of course, iD Software. Outside, 12 massive guillotines were set around the exits. Activision created a small jungle section to promote the new Pitfall for Sega Genesis. A company called Zombie created a big metal sphere that shot out blue electricity. iD, however no to be outdone (much to Microsoft's dismay) hired the shock-rock band G.W.A.R. to create their set. It was an eight foot tall vagina with dildo teeth. Inside, two members of G.W.A.R. dressed in fur and raw meat attacked passerby's with rubber penises.Alex St. John - one of the creators of Microsoft's DirectX - had something that would upstage even the boys at iD. Here's what went down, as described in the book Masters of Doom:
As the lights fell, a video screen lowered above the stage; It was time for the main event. The crowd cheered as the Doom's familiar corridors began to roll. But it was not the Doom soldier chasing the demons, it was... Bill Gates! Microsoft's fearless leader was superimposed running inside the game in a long black trench coat and brandishing a shotgun. Gates stopped running and addressed the crowd about Windows 95 as a gaming platform: A platform that could deliver cutting-edge multimedia experiences like Doom. But no sooner that he begun that an Imp monster from the game jumped out, through voice over, asked Gates for an autograph [sic]. Gates responded by raising his shotgun and blowing the beast to gory chunks. 'Don't interrupt me while I'm speaking', he said, then finished his speech. At the end, the screen went black with blood, only to be replaced with the familiar Microsoft phrase 'Who do you want to execute today?'.

Saturday, November 12, 2005
About that Star Wars bonus DVD...
Hey Chris, I was watching "The Story of Star Wars" Bonus DVD that came with the Revenge of the Sith DVD from Wal-Mart and I was thinking....how could C-3PO narrate the story of Anakin Skywalker if he had his memory wiped at the end of Episode III?!?Chad's right. If anyone should be telling this story, it's Artoo, not that blabbermouth protocol droid. Guess that memory wipe didn't take too well huh?
Friday, November 11, 2005
All six Star Wars movies... simultaneously

Shades of William S. Burroughs: a Star Wars fan named WeirdHat is watching all six movies at the same time. Interesting experiment in media psychology, to be sure. This guy is picking out some interesting patterns in the chaos that is the saga. Thanks to Kyle Williams for spotting this one.
Dear President Bush: you're here to HONOR the fallen, not keep them coming
I know that there are some people who are against this war strictly because its driving proponent happens to be of another political party, but those are too few and far between to justify attacking EVERYONE who is against this conflict. Some of us are against it because it has no clearly defined end-goal, because from the very beginning it has been based on dubious - and even non-existing - rationales, and simply because it has resulted in the MEANINGLESS deaths of more than two thousand American lives and still counting. Those precious men and women went off and died in another land and their sacrifice ultimately stood for NOTHING. They didn't die "protecting our liberty".
They died because a damaged little coward of a man - who has spent his life too scared to do any fighting on his own - decided that his own selfish ambitions weighed greater in the scales than did the greater good of the country that he swore an oath to serve.
He never had a real reason to instigate this war then, and he has no reason to continue it now. Instead he exploits what is supposed to be a solemn moment of reflection to make a political attack.
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of veterans in my family. Some of them have served in most of the conflicts of the past sixty years of American history. One fought at Iwo Jima. Two were in Korea. Serving this country is something that has a long history among my kin. And I'm mad as hell that the Coward-In-Chief would abuse a day consecrated to them for his own selfish reasons.
But then, this is just part of the pattern that's been his entire life, isn't it?
All of you who have supported him: I will be laughing at you ten years from now, when you'll be too ashamed to admit that you ever stood behind George W. Bush.
Pat Robertson is at it again
I've said this before and I'll say it again: Pat Robertson is a false prophet. He's not really much of a Christian at all. In the old days he would have been dragged outside of his headquarters in Virginia Beach and STONED to DEATH. Hey, it's how they treated false prophets in the Old Testament. You had to be right 100% of the time when speaking in the name of God. Pat has been wrong like 400% of the time. Heck, that's enough to almost have to "roll back" the period of grace that we are supposed to be in. If it weren't for that, Robertson would have been dead meat a long time ago.
But if you're the kind of person who can't get enough of this man's foolishness, click on the above link for more.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
"We are holding our own": Thirty years later, Edmund Fitzgerald still haunts
It was thirty years ago tonight that the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald - one of the largest and by far the most well-known of the bulk iron-ore freighters plying the Great Lakes, sank in a fierce November gale, taking with it the lives of all 29 crewmen aboard. It has since become one of the most famous shipwrecks in American history.
In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
At the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral
The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald

In 1957 the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin signed a contract with Great Lakes Engineering to build what was meant to be the first "maximum sized" Laker in existence. Hull 301's keel was laid that August, and a little over a year later the vessel was launched and delivered to her new owners. The ship was named after Edmund Fitzgerald, one of the CEOs of Northwestern Mutual, with his wife having the honors of christening the massive craft.
"The Pride of the American Flag", she was called, as well as "the Queen of the Great Lakes". At 729 feet long and 75 feet wide, the Edmund Fitzgerald held the title of largest ship on the lakes throughout most of her life. She had the capacity to carry more than 26,000 tons of iron pellets from mining operations on the western end of Lake Superior to the steel mills of Detroit, Toledo, and other ports in the east. Early in her career she broke cargo records, including that of carrying over a million tons of ore through the Soo Locks that separate upper Michigan from Ontario.

But as much as she owed it to her girth, the Edmund Fitzgerald became a fixture in the lives of those who lived along the lakes because of the antics of her crew also, especially those of longtime captain Peter Pulcer, who was ever eager to entertain those on shore. Good luck came when she steamed past some town or village on the shoreline: children, college students, steel-mill workers and homemakers ran onto beaches from Superior to Erie to wave at the ship. It was a part of life.
As the years progressed, the Fitzgerald garnered a storied history. Its crew was widely known to be a colorful, jovial lot, full of life and love for the lakefolk, and to serve on her was deemed a great honor around the Great Lakes. She was, by every account, the most beloved vessel sailing on the Great Lakes, and widely considered to be one of the most elegant ever put to water.
The lake, it is said, never gives up her deadOn November 9th, 1975, the Edmund Fitzgerald left Superior, Wisconsin, on the westernmost side of Lake Superior. In her hold was over 26 thousand tons of iron ore, bound for Detroit and the steel mills, in was to have been a straightforward route across the lake and into Huron. She had a crew of 29 and at her helm was Ernest McSorley, every bit the "good captain well-seasoned", with 44 years of piloting the lakes under his belt in a respected career.
when the skies of November turn gloomy.
And later that night when the ship's bell rang,There are few things, it is said, that are more fierce than a Great Lakes storm in November, such as the one of November 10th, 1975. A massive low-pressure cold front churned across the plains and headed north toward the lakes. On the 9th the Coast Guard issued a gale-force warning to all ships on Superior. Captain McSorley radioed the Coast Guard and the captain of another ship, the Arthur M. Anderson. Both the Fitzgerald and the Anderson headed further north, closer to Canada and away from the terrific waves that would be produced in open water.
could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?
The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale soundEarly on the 10th the front arrived over Superior. The ship weathered a battering morning, but both the Fitzgerald and the Anderson were considered safe: the winds had thus far come from the northeast, affording the ships the buffering of nearby land.
and a wave broke over the railing.
And ev'ry man knew, as the captain did too
'twas the witch of November come stealin'.The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
when the Gales of November came slashin'.
When afternoon came it was freezin' rain
in the face of a hurricane west wind.
But that changed as afternoon progressed, when the winds shifted to the northwest, robbing the ships of their protection. The Anderson later reported that the winds reached 43 knots, with 16 foot waves crashing against the hulls. When the Fitzgerald radioed in, it was listing to one side, had suffered vent damage and the loss of a rail. Later the ship lost both radar arrays, had listed even more, and the waves were getting higher, crashing onto the deck. Despite the damage, the Fitzgerald pressed on.
Later that evening the Anderson picked up the Fitzgerald on her radar. Radio contact was established. And at 7:10 pm came the final message ever heard from the Edmund Fitzgerald:
"We are holding our own."Shortly thereafter the Edmund Fitzgerald disappeared from radar, never to be seen above the surface again. All 29 crewmembers rode her down to the bottom of Superior.
The captain wired in he had water comin' inNo one is certain what happened to make the Fitzgerald sank, but many experts believe that faulty cargo hatches, discovered a few days earlier, were a prime culprit. As the Fitzgerald continued in the storm, water from the rain and waves was saturating the iron ore: the ship becoming heavier the longer it was at sea. It is believed a wave overcame the overly-stressed vessel, sending it sinking without warning or a chance to recover. Expeditions to the Fitzgerald later found that the ship had snapped in two.
and the good ship and crew was in peril.
And later that night when 'is lights went outta sight
came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Route of the Edmund Fitzgerald's final voyage
The following day's newspapers screamed the loss of the "Fitz". Thousands came to Superior's shores to weep and pray for the lost. And on Jefferson Avenue in Detroit the Rev. Richard Ingalls peeled the church bell twenty-nine times - one for each man on the Fitzgerald - from the Old Mariners Church. He has done so each November 10th since, ringing the bell thirty times: one for each crewman and once more in memory of all those who have lost their lives in the Great Lakes.
All that was left of the Fitzgerald were some of the lifeboats found afterward and the ship's bell, later recovered and restored to rest in a museum in Whitefish Point, Michigan. The ship rests in over 500 feet of water 17 miles from Whitefish Bay.
The following year Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot released a six and a half minute song. It has become one of the most haunting ballads in history: "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"...
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on downThirty years ago... it only seems like a long time. I was a year and a half old when the Fitzgerald foundered. A very young man still, but we look far across and above how we were thirty years ago. Above losing a mighty ship to the elements, certainly. And then we remember that the Fitzgerald is still a living memory in the hearts of the wives, sons, and daughters of her crew. We stand reminded that we are not masters, but come into each new day by the grace of God. And it's only by the grace of God that we can end the day warm in our homes.
Of the big lake they called "Gitche Gumee"
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomyWith a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the "Gales of November" came earlyThe ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger then most
With a crew and good captain well seasonedConcluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship's bell rang
Could it be the north wind they been feelin'?The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And ev'ry man knew, as the captain did too
'twas the witch of November come stealin'The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the Gales of November came slashin'
When afternoon came it was freezin' rain
in the face of a hurricane west windWhen suppertime came the old cook came on deck sayin'
"Fellas, it's been too rough to feed ya"
At seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in, he said,
"Fellas, it's been good t'know ya"The captain wired in he had water comin' in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when 'is lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund FitzgeraldDoes anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they put fifteen more miles behind 'erThey might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughtersLake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms for her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmenAnd farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the Gales of November rememberedIn a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
at the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral
The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund FitzgeraldThe legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call "Gitche Gumee"
"Superior" they said, "never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early!"
Shipwrecks have gained new romanticism in the past few years with the interest in the Titanic. There have been times when the Fitzgerald has been compared to the doomed ocean liner, but that's wrong. The Fitzgerald wasn't a symbol of extravagance and opulence. She wasn't some far-removed spectacle beyond the dreams of the children who saw her. The "Fitz" was a component of their lives, something to take pride in. The Fitzgerald wasn't an exercise in vanity, but a good ship with a good crew, doing the best job it could.
Which would have been something to boast of more in the years to follow: to have ridden in comfort above the Titanic had she survived her maiden voyage, or to have worked hard alongside such men as on the Fitzgerald? I don't know about you, but my life would have been far richer to have been aboard the "Fitz", if only just once.
Anyway, since it will be thirty years ago tonight that the Edmund Fitzgerald was lost, I thought that a tribute was appropriate, in the best way that I know how. Gordon Lightfoot's ballad is the very first song that I can remember hearing, so this story has some kind of special meaning to me. This could be considered the last great shipwreck in American history: there has to be a sobering respect for that.
Here's to a good ship and crew...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
I thought Republicans were supposed to be the party of fiscal responsibility
I hope all of you who voted for this damaged little man are happy now: thanks to you, your children and your grandchildren - and probably THEIR grandchildren - will be in hoc to overseas governments and banks until the new moon turns to gold.
See, it's times like this that the evil little "id" part of me thinks that the grown-ups in America should denounce as subhuman all the "elites": the hard-line Democrats and Republicans, everyone who's gotten us into this mess. Then there should be a signal given like in that movie Hotel Rwanda: "Squash the cockroaches! Cut the tall trees!" Upon which we kill every single one of them to a man (and when necessary to a woman). There's no rehabilitation possible for them. Exterminate them all. Let the streets flow red with the blood of politicians and sycophants.
You tell me if that idea doesn't at least have some merit.
Once again, I am a teacher
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Just finished watching National Treasure
EDIT: I should make note of something that I happened to notice about National Treasure. There is not one word of profanity to be found anywhere in this film. Nor were there any situations showing or even hinting at lewdness. Other than Star Wars Episode III this is about the most wholesome blockbuster movie that I can think of that's come out recently. If you want some solid entertainment that's suitable for the entire family, without having to worry about what the kiddies see or hear, you can't go wrong with National Treasure.
Would rather it be the energy sword or fuel-rod cannon
