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Monday, November 28, 2005

Bush: All hat and no cattle on illegal immigration

So, Bush is now trying to "talk tough" on the topic of illegal immigration. Based on all the polls I'm seeing, it's heartwarming to know that the American people are REALLY seeing through this latest charade of his.

More than any other issue, this is why George W. Bush is the most traitorous President in American history. He's had five years and counting to stem the flow of illegals coming in across the border. He has done worse than sat on his spoiled, arrogant butt and done nothing: he's literally invited more illegals to come across and add to our already overly-burdened economy and infrastructure. So the mid-term elections are coming up next year and illegal aliens are fast becoming a hot-topic item - that very well might topple the Republicans' hold in the House and Senate - so only now does he try to make it look like he gives a damn. And what do you know: he's talking about STILL having more immigrants come over.

In a sane world, where laws are upheld, Bush would have been hunted down by a posse and shot dead in the streets for this outrage. No wonder when it comes to security he's the most frightened President ever.

No, I'm not sorry. This weak little man is a disgrace to the office of President and on this issue alone, he ranks as the worst President ever. And none of his supporters can possibly defend him on this. Not no way, not no how.

I would say that it feels great to be able to gloat about this, but watching your own country's sovereignty disappear bit by bit while its "leaders" do squat is not something anyone should relish watching. All of you who voted for Bush: you were fooled. If you still would vote for him, you are the worst of fools. Now try and explain this travesty away. I dare you.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Review of Walk The Line

There's a moment in the music video of "Hurt" that has anguished me to look at from the first time I saw it. June Carter Cash - just months before passing away - watching her husband Johnny sing his balladic paraphrase of Ecclesiastes. If you've seen the video, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, do whatever it takes to see it. It's been called the most haunting music video ever: when Trent Reznor - the originator of "Hurt" - saw this, it made him break down sobbing.

The look on her face... man, how do I describe this? It's like she's trying to tell him "Johnny, why are you doing this to yourself?" Johnny Cash, in the twilight of his life, reflecting on empty materialism and the inevitability of loss. Brief flashes from his legendary career: tender moments with June to the bars of Folsom Prison. Bits of action like jumping on moving trains and his movie roles: "Stay the hell away from me you hear!" The video closes with Cash's fingers resting on a piano, closing the cover over the keys. Almost like a coffin lid.

They say that some people preach their own sermon. With "Hurt", Johnny Cash sang his.

I watched "Hurt" yesterday afternoon, just before leaving for the theater with Lisa and Dad - who I said before is just about as big a Johnny Cash fan as they come - to catch the new Cash biopic Walk The Line. Don't know why I did that. I could have listened to some of his songs. One of my favorites is "Sunday Morning Coming Down": only Cash could have sung about having a hangover so well. Or listened to "Ring of Fire" or "I Walk the Line". Something from the height of his career. Instead I chose to watch him reflect on his life for what was to have been the final time. Guess I wanted to examine him from both extremes of his chronology yesterday afternoon. And, I think it had a lot of that effect. Maybe starting it out with something so admittedly depressing is what made me leave Walk The Line believing that in the end this movie is something so powerful and uplifting. About things like life and love, and redemption for one's self.

Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, Walk The Line depicts the first thirty-odd years of Cash's life, from growing up in rural Arkansas up to the beginning of his marriage with June Carter. The film opens in 1968, minutes before Cash (Phoenix) began recording his live concert at Folsom Prison. A table saw in the prison's woodshop triggers a flashback in Cash's mind: 1944 and a young J.R. Cash listening with his brother Jack to the Carter Family on the radio, with Johnny picking out 14-year old June's voice. We are introduced to Johnny's father Ray - played by Robert Patrick, who has come a long way as an actor from an already great role he had as the T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgement Day - and mother Carrie (Shelby Lynne). It's not long afterward that we witness the event that dwelled on Cash's mind for the rest of his life: brother Jack nearly cut in two by the table saw in the woodmill that he worked in, lingering long enough to tell his family about seeing Heaven.

From there we watch as Cash enlists in the Air Force in 1950, where stationed in Germany he begins writing some of his first songs, including "Folsom Prison Blues" after watching a movie about the place. He uses time for calls back home to try and woo young love Vivian (Ginnifer Goodwin) into marriage. Upon return to the states the two marry and live in Memphis, where Cash struggles to both make it as a salesman and fulfill his dream of being a musician. Accompanied by Luther Perkins and Marshall Grant, the "Tennessee Two" (played by Dan John Miller and Larry Bagby), the trio summons up the nerve to approach Sun Records about cutting an album. The execs tell Cash that his style of gospel just won't sell, that he needs to come up with something new... something that he would sing if he only had enough time to live to sing just one song... for them to take an interest. Cash accepts the challenge. He comes home to Vivian to tell her that they made a record.

For a long time after that, Walk The Line becomes not just a movie about Cash, but about all the talent that came from the legendary Sun studios in the mid-1950s. We watch as Cash tours with Jerry Lee Lewis (Waylon Malloy Payne, playing "The Killer" much more outrageously than Dennis Quaid did in my opinion), Roy Orbison (Johnathan Rice), Carl Perkins (Johnny Holiday), and Elvis Presley, played with a considerable amount of conviction by Tyler Hilton. Also along for the tour is June Carter (Witherspoon).

You needn't be told by me about what happens after that: Johnny and June become increasingly smitten with each other, despite the fact that both are married (and then remarried, in Carter's case). Johnny's introduction to - and then dependency on - amphetamines and other drugs. The toll that the constant touring and longing for June have on both Johnny's career and life with his family... especially on Vivian, from whom Johnny becomes increasingly estranged. The inevitable crash of both personal life and public career. Cash's struggle to regain some semblance of both. His idea of recording a live album in front of the inmates at Folsom. And finally the long-percolating union of Johnny and June in marriage. The final scene seemed a little abrupt for me, at first. Then I realized that this is what Cash had been wanting all along: togetherness with a family. It ends at just the right point, and tells us that Johnny and June had a long and beautiful life together before both died within months of each other in 2003.

There are a few other movies that I'm hoping to catch this next month - King Kong, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Syriana, maybe one or two more - but weighed against everything else that I've seen during the past eleven months, Walk The Line is by far the best movie I've seen all year. This is easily the best work that Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon have ever done. Phoenix, it took me awhile to really accept that he is playing Johnny Cash here, and that has to do with a few things that are easily outside the producers' control. But let's face it: it's going to be impossible to find someone who looks and sings exactly like Cash. If you can suspend your disbelief only a degree or two, Phoenix really does become Johnny Cash... or at least as close as anyone is apt to get. Witherspoon is an absolute delight as June Carter. I don't give that much merit to the Oscars, but it really would be a travesty if she isn't nominated for Best Actress for this. In a rational world Robert Patrick will get nominated for Best Supporting Actor (competing against Ian McDiarmid from Star Wars Episode III) for his role as Ray Cash. Just about darned nearly everything is perfect in this film: the acting, the music, the costuming and scenery, the pacing... it all really felt like they were pages taken from Cash's life. Like his proclivity toward performing for incarcerated felons: that wasn't just a "stunt" he did a few times. After the movie Dad told us about he and Mom going to watch Johnny Cash perform at the Greensboro Coliseum about thirty years ago. The entire place was packed except for this one entire section of seats toward the front. Dad said they remained totally empty until five minutes before the show started: dozens of inmates were escorted in under armed guard and shown to the seats, from which they got to enjoy Johnny Cash live in concert. Dad said they remained there until just about everybody else had left, and then they were taken en masse to the buses that drove them back to the local prison. I have to wonder how many concerts in his career did Cash do that for those in prison. It really must have been thought of by him as being an act of Christian charity.

And speaking of which, there are a few things that I wasn't completely satisfied about with Walk The Line, though. If there is a fault with Walk The Line, it must be that it gives very sparse attention to Cash's deep spiritual life. There were four things that defined Johnny Cash: June, his family, his flirtations with excess, and his faith in God. We watch the first three as they lay down their part in the solid foundation of Cash's life, but surprisingly little is shared about his departure from, and then his later intense return to, his profoundly strong belief in Christ. Given their deep friendship and since everybody else - from the Sun execs to Waylon Jennings - is depicted, I was seriously expecting the Rev. Billy Graham to be portrayed in this movie somewhere. That doesn't happen. And Johnny Cash's more spiritual moments are reduced to minor lines about gospel music and one fleeting scene of he and June entering a Baptist church together during his drug rehab. I wanted there to be more about his spiritual life. You see, in a lot of ways I see Johnny Cash as being the perfect example to me of what it means to be a real Christian. I mean, he was a believer, and so am I. But he went his own way in this world, and not necessarily the way that "proper" Christianity most often preaches. He struggled with his faith. Sometimes during those struggles he skirted too close to the darkness. There were moments that he could seem petty, even cruel. That wasn't the real Johnny Cash though. It never was. But to be the person that God made him to be, he couldn't shy away from confronting his faults and weaknesses. To Johnny Cash it wasn't being weak that was the weakness, it was being unwilling to admit to being weak. He not only admitted those foibles, he embraced them with relish. Through his music he gained power over those flaws. It made him not just a Christian, but what I call an "outlaw Christian". And really, is there supposed to be any other way in which to live this life that some of us profess to live? I know there's only so much time in a two-hour plus film to cover a life of more than seventy years, but still... this was the principle cornerstone of Johnny Cash, and it deserved more than a few brief moments of story.

But if you can choose to accept that his faith did have the greater bearing on his life, as proven by how he found redemption from his sins and went on to have one of the most profound influences on American music that there has ever been, you will still find Walk The Line to be a masterpiece of the biographical genre. Some might compare it to last year's Ray, and I think there are some similiarities (the scene where Cash is busted for drug possession is a lot like what happens to Ray Charles in Ray), but there's really no comparing the two. They are two films about two men, each one as set apart from others as there is likely to ever be found. Don't go in expecting Ray. Expect something altogether different, but as brilliantly executed all the same.

Walk The Line is a true love story on so many levels, but especially between Johnny and June. Everything that my heart felt from watching the "Hurt" video, I felt was done justice by this movie. I really can't blame either Johnny or June for the errors in each of their lives that they had in the past. This is a movie about Johnny and June, and how they both came to move forward, toward forgiveness for each and then a life with each other.

If for no other reason, go see Walk The Line because it's an enormously entertaining movie. It has tenderness. It has tragedy. It has triumph. And it has some pretty darn funny scenes interspersed throughout: no other film ever made, I can almost certainly guarantee, will give you the image of Mother Maybelle Carter (Sandra Ellis Lafferty) confronting a drug dealer with a shotgun.

Finally, I guess one of the biggest reasons why Walk The Line impacted me so is that I got to share it with two of the people who figure among the greatest in my life: my wife, and my father. I'm especially proud that I got to watch Walk The Line with Dad. The last time we'd been able to catch a movie together was The Perfect Storm over five years ago. Admittedly, our tastes in film differ somewhat: he's never been able to understand why I love the Star Wars movies so much. And that's perfectly understandable. But ever since I first started hearing about Walk The Line I had good vibes that this would be a great movie that I could take my Dad to see, and that we could both enjoy it on the level of equals. I believed that my wife - whose profession is based in music - would enjoy this movie.

To director James Mangold, Phoenix and Witherspoon, and the Cash family for allowing this story to be told in this way, along with everyone else involved in making this movie: thank you. You delivered what I've already come to think of as being one of the most memorable experiences that I've ever had from going to see a movie. I felt that I'd come out feeling really proud about being able to share this with my wife and father, and you didn't let me down the least bit. Really appreciate it, folks. Hope with Walk The Line that you'll earn more Oscars than you've shelf-space to hold 'em on.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Walk The Line review coming soon

Watched it earlier this afternoon along with Lisa and Dad, who's just about as big a fan of Johnny Cash as they come. This one put me away bigtime. It's rare for me to have to take a step back and collect my thoughts on something, but Walk The Line did that to me. It's too late to finish a review that would do it justice: I'm going to sleep on the rest of it. Later on I'll talk about what worked so well here, something that disappointed me about how Cash's life was portrayed, and some other thoughts about this movie. But trust me: it's well worth seeing during its run now in the theaters. Will post a real review of it tomorrow.

Thanksgiving turkey 2005 and report on Marinade X

Here's the pics of the 15 lb. turkey I fried for this year's Thanksgiving, from before it was lowered into the oil and after...
There was no noticable wind last night like what plagued us later on Thursday, so I fried the 6 lb. turkey breast that I had injected with "Marinade X": the first real experimental seasoning that I've cooked up. I'm not quite ready to reveal what was put into this concoction because I want to "tweak" it some more. However, it yielded an unusually tender bird: much moreso than it ever has when I've used regular garlic butter marinade. The taste was terrific, but not quite as strong as I was hoping for, hence my desire to work with it some more. But everyone seemed to like it a lot still.

I might be doing at least two full-sized birds next month for Christmas. Sometime before then I'm hoping to track down a bigger pot: I'm using 30 quart now but a 40 quart would be niiiice. That way I can fry bigger turkeys and it'll be somewhat more safe to work with.

Okay, off to see Walk the Line now. Enjoy your turkey leftovers y'all :-)

Friday, November 25, 2005

What aren't "they" telling us?

A former Canadian minister of defense is warning of an "intergalactic war" between Earth and UFOs.

No need to worry. When the time comes we'll just send up Jeff Goldblum and his Apple notebook computer.

"Season's Beatings"

73-year old Josephine Hoffman is shown here getting trampled on by maddened shoppers at a south Florida shopping mall early today. There've been several reports since this morning of people getting knocked down and beaten up on "Black Friday"... or "Black and Blue Friday" from the looks of it. I used to really like going out the day after Thanksgiving, if for nothing else than to just watch the people start going about their Christmas shopping. For the past two years at least I've read a lot of stories like this one, and it's gotten so the day just doesn't have any more joy for me. It says a lot about how materialistic we've become when we make buying "things" more important than being considerate of other people.

Mister Miyagi screams "BONZAI!" for the last time: Pat Morita has passed away

This just reeks. I'm literally at a loss for the words I'm looking for to convey how low my heart feels right now. Being a child of the Eighties, Mister Miyagi was one of my heroes. One minute he was this cute little handyman trying to catch houseflies with chopsticks. The next he was this engine of rage karate-chopping hoodlums into pain and agony. "Wax on, wax off!" The guy became, I think it's safe to say he became a genuine archetype of wise master, right up there with Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

But if Mister Miyagi became all those things, so much more so was the man who portrayed him. There was a time when Pat Morita was everywhere. I think at one point he was in just about as many commercials as Bill Cosby. Heck back in the day he was even a regular on Sanford and Son and Happy Days. Whatever he did, Morita always seemed nothing less than sincere about who he was, and it always went back to being that sweet little man with the humble voice and noble eyes. Who just as much as he could kick tail, he could make us think a little, and laugh a lot.

Darn it's hard writing about this.

I just found out a few minutes ago that Pat Morita has died. He was 73. He had as full a life as anyone could possibly have: going from detainee in a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II, to restaurant owner and computer industry worker, to professional actor and finally beloved American icon. Here's the story from the Associated Press via Yahoo! My friend Chad just posted a really neat tribute to Morita over at his blog too. I imagine a lot of people are going to be stopping today to remember this man who figured so greatly in our pop culture's mind.

Rest in peace, sensei Morita. And bonzai!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

HBO may deny Rome a second season?!?

Ain't It Cool News is reporting that HBO - which apparently had previously greenlit a second season of Rome - may now be having second thoughts on any further installments of the hit show.

If HBO did this, they will have truly joined the ranks of the galactically stupid. Rome is one of the best shows on TV right now, maybe even one of the best ever attempted. The producers have taken already great history and turned it into a well-executed bloodthirsty gangster drama: like I said before, it's The Sopranos B.C. The show has only gotten better as it's progressed, the detail is opulent beyond belief, the action sequences are stupendous, and Titus Pullo is now officially one of the most serious bad-a$$es in television history (I'm still hearing "Thirteen!" in my head after the episode "The Spoils"). HBO had darned well better not cancel Rome!! But then, they had already cancelled Carnivale: another show that was one of the very few actually worth your valuable time watching. I'm still dying to see how THAT was going to all resolve itself. Now it looks as if we won't see the aftermath of Caesar's assassination play out. Well, what else can I say: if this is true, "Screw you HBO!"

Happy Thanksgiving! And an after-action report

First of all, hope you and yours are having a really terrific holiday today...
Oh yeah, Lisa was sent something that I think is just too darned hilarious not to make a mention of. Mash down here for a really wicked Flash movie that's just perfect for this day.

The main turkey we were using for Thanksgiving dinner today came out very beautiful. It not only looked terrific, it was by far the best one I've yet done. I left my camera at my parents' house though, so I can't upload the pictures of it just yet. Will pick it up tomorrow and post then.

The second bird, the smaller turkey breast that I juiced-up with Marinade X - my highly experimental concoction - couldn't be done today. We had a dilly of a time keeping the burner going in spite of the fierce winds we had today. It was nice today for the most part: unseasonably warm for this time of November. But the wind was a #&@%. Although we got the first bird done, when we came back after dinner to fry up the second it was just too windy to sustain a flame. We're going to try again tomorrow (and marinade another one with regular garlic butter).

Otherwise though, it was a pretty good Thanksgiving. We came home with plenty of leftovers, including turkey (yum!) and practically an entire German chocolate pie. Lot of good family getting together at my aunt and uncle's joint. Plenty of kids running around and this time there was some asking about when Lisa and I would be making our own contribution to that. Heh-heh... who knows, maybe sooner than anyone realizes... parse that as you will ;-)

Okay, hope y'all are doing well this Thanksgiving 2005. Now remember to get to bed early tonight: the stores open early tomorrow (during which I'm going to try to stock up on plenty of Star Wars action figures :-) Sees ya later!

"Marinade X"

The above syringe is my biggest turkey injector. It contains a substance that until a few hours ago had never existed in the history of mankind. I have no idea how this is going to work. It could make a turkey extremely delicious... or not. It's definitely not the usual marinade (for which I used Tony Chachere's brand of Creole style butter for the main Thanksgiving turkey). I'm somewhat reluctant to admit right now what exactly went into this strange brew, apart from being able to say that butter was one of the necessary ingredients. The test subject is a six-pound turkey breast, so if this screws up the damage won't spread to the main dinner table: a fifteen pound full bird has that honor. We'll see how well this experimental formula does when we take it out of the fryer later today. Pray I don't kill anyone or myself with the mysterious Marinade X.

TURKEY FRYING SAFETY: How to measure out your oil

Accidents involving turkey frying usually have one of the following three causes: leaving the fryer unattended (which should NEVER be done), trying to use the fryer indoors or beneath a shelter (often made of combustible material like wood, which is sorta like putting Drew Barrymore onboard the Hindenburg), or having an excess of oil in the pot that you are frying the bird in. And more often than not that last one happens because somebody didn't think twice about filling up the pot with as much oil as was readily available... without considering the displacement there would be after the bird was lowered in. Put simply: you don't need all that much oil to thoroughly (and safely) fry a bird in. Fortunately, there is a simple trick that you can do to accurately gauge how much peanut (or cottonseed, or in some cases vegetable) oil you'll actually need.

Before doing anything else with your turkey, while it's still wrapped-up in its plastic bag, put it in the bottom of your pot. Then start pouring cold water into the pot (I use a tea jug). Pour enough water in so that you can cover the top of the bird, plus maybe an extra inch more, but not much more (this is to accommodate for the base of the spit that you will have the turkey skewered onto). You should come several inches from the top of the pot. Then remove your turkey from the pot, and give the water a little bit of time to settle. At the water line, take a pencil and draw a dark-enough mark showing the depth of the water minus the bird. Then pour the water out. Here's some pics of me doing this earlier tonight...

You now have an accurate measure of how much oil you'll need to pour into the pot when it comes time to fry, that will allow for the extra mass of the bird when you add it to the cauldron.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thirty minutes into tonight's Lost...

It must be said: Ana Lucia is THE most trigger-happy character on television in the history of anything. What is this, like three or four times she's pulled a gun out on someone in less than a half-hour? Somebody knock this crazy woman out before she gets EVERYONE killed!

EDIT: It's now 9:52, a few minutes after we got to watch Ana Lucia put something like thirty seven bullet holes in some punk. Oh well... at least now we know something about why she's miffed at everything. Good episode.

Sound and fury: Choosing the music is part of the ritual

I'm going to be posting a lot about the turkey frying tomorrow this night and into the morning. Partly, it's to share any experience or bits of wisdom I've picked up along the way that has to do with this. Although I've been frying for three years, I spent three years before that just reading up on it, and trying to convince myself that I really could do something this crazy. And partly, it's because for me this really has become an exquisite form of art. Turkey frying is really the only thing that we here in America have that's comparable to the Japanese art of preparing fugu. Unless you consider that if you mess fugu up, you don't usually burn up everything around you in the process...

Three years into our marriage and, I think this has become the first real tradition of our own little family. Someday my own son might want to try this, and I'll be there, showing him how to clean the bird, how to inject it with marinade, and then how to prepare the fryer and drop it into the oil. Something like carving the Thanksgiving turkey, only much more unforgiving of mistakes. This is going to be a "coming of age" ritual, a thing that marks passage into manhood, sorta. I think of myself as a pretty good fryer, and someday I will pass it on to those that will follow. Something like how my Dad has passed along the art of making knives to me (although I'm NOWHERE near as good as Dad :-)

Anyway, this tradition has already developed into a certain ritual that must be followed. I always wear my long-sleeved denim shirt. Always have on a good pair of boots. I wear hat and sunglasses while doing this. And there is always some background music blaring from the speakers of my car's stereo system.

In 2002 it was the soundtrack for The Fellowship of the Ring. In 2003 and 2004 I used the soundtrack for The Return of the King. Tonight I decided that in keeping with the theme of flames and searing heat, and that this being 2005, I am going to fry my birds to the soundtrack from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. By the time it comes to "Battle of the Heroes" it should REALLY be coming along good, with those blasts of steam impregnated with the smell of marinade rising from the fryer.

Okay, off to watch Lost while the garlic butter sets in. More later.

And so, it begins: This year's round of turkey-frying accidents

Bird #1 just received the first dose of marinade: the traditional garlic butter. Pumped nearly three bottles of the sauce into that turkey. I'll be working throughout the night making this just right to go into the hot oil tomorrow morning. Later on comes the cajun rub and more marinade. Bird #2 is a turkey breast that I'm making the subject of a somewhat experimental marinade. I've brewed up a diabolical concoction that, the theory is anyway, will render a VERY delicious bird. If this goes well I'll try it on a bigger bird come Christmas.

(BTW, special thanks to my good buddy lowbridge for posting on Free Republic my article from last year's Thanksgiving. You a good dude lowie :-)

Now, if you follow some pretty simple precautions, turkey frying can be relatively safe. You just gott be careful throughout the whole process. You must practice, as "Mad-Eye" Moody liked to scream out in the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire novel, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" And fortunately most turkey frying goes off without a hitch. But then, every year, we get stories like this: from the Register-Guard...

Fryer Smokes Bird, New House
By Rebecca Nolan
The Register-Guard
Published: Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Construction workers using a deep-fryer to cook a turkey Tuesday for an early Thanksgiving celebration burned a house they had just finished building.

The feast is an annual tradition for the crew, which was working at the Cozy Homes development on Mallory Lane, off Coburg Road in Eugene.

Cement worker Henry Schmerber bought a new propane fryer for the occasion and set it up inside the garage of the vacant house. Workers took turns watching the kettle.

But the fryer's thermometer was broken, and the oil inside got too hot, the workers said. The kettle started smoking and the lid rattled, as though the peanut oil inside had reached a boil.

Schmerber ran inside the garage and turned off the gas, but it was too late.

"The lid popped off," he said. "There must have been oil on it, because it hit the burner and ignited it."

The hot oil burned through the rubber propane line. Flames spread through the garage and up the front of the house, into a second-story room.

"The flames were as tall as the house," Schmerber said.

The men fought the blaze with a fire extinguisher, but the foam had no effect.

Eugene District Fire Chief Paul Dammen said the fire caused about $75,000 in damage. In all, 17 firefighters helped put out the blaze. The house was unsold, and the loss was insured.

Charred wood, insulation and other materials lay in a pile on the driveway. The front of the light green house was scorched and a twisted ceiling fan was visible through a shattered upstairs window, its blades warped by the heat.

Like an increasing number of Americans, Schmerber and his co-workers like the taste of deep-fried turkey. The technique began in the southern states and has gained popularity over the years. Cooking time is shortened and the meat stays juicier, advocates say.

Use of the fryer units remains controversial.

State Fire Marshal Nancy Orr on Monday urged Oregonians to use the fryers outdoors only and to keep an eye on the unit at all times.

"It's dangerous to use them on wooden decks or in garages," she said in a written statement.

The National Fire Protection Association's Web site discourages consumers from using deep fryers. (comment from me: WIMPS!!!)

The group warns heating as much as five gallons of oil to 350 degrees or more poses a "significant danger."

"The use of turkey fryers by consumers can lead to devastating burns, other injuries and the destruction of property," the group says.

But even after the fire, the men on Mallory Lane were determined to have their bird. They bought a second fryer and planned to cook up their feast later Tuesday afternoon in the backyard of a house across the street.

"We're gonna burn another house down," Schmerber joked.

Somehow I have the urge to start chanting "The Roof" after reading this story :-P

EDIT: Y'see, this is why you wanna be real careful when you play around with one of these things...

From LP, to cassette, to CD... to USB flash drive?

The Barenaked Ladies are releasing their newest album, Barenaked on a Stick, on a 128 MB USB flash drive. The $30 drive includes 29 songs in MP3 format, photos, videos, and much more. The drive can play on PCs, Macs, and a lot of the newer audio equipment like some car stereos that have a USB port built-in.

For awhile now I've wondered what - if anything - might possibly supplant the CD as a medium for offline music purchases. I'm still not sold on buying my audio online: call me old-fashioned but I like having something tangible that I can hold in my hand for my money. It's way too early to see if this is really going to be a serious threat to CD, but this is still a pretty neat idea that the Barenaked Ladies have hit upon.

Book review: Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader

This is one I've been hankering for ever since news about it came out this past spring. Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno is the first Star Wars novel to come out that's set in the time immediately following the events of Revenge of the Sith. It came out yesterday and I bought a copy after leaving work. It was a gripping enough read that I just finished it after plowing through it all this past evening. In Dark Lord, Luceno chronicles the first few weeks in the life of Darth Vader after he was "resurrected" on the slab in Darth Sidious' medical facility. And there's a certain grim humor that Luceno works into the story here, as we learn just how pathetic Vader really is, despite the fearsome countenance of his famous armor. Turns out that the medical droids did a p*ss-poor job in attaching the prosthetic limbs to the former Anakin Skywalker. His chest unit isn't working properly, the fabric of the outfit either catches on the cyborg parts or it bunches up where it's not supposed to, and the entire thing - especially when Vader walks or is kneeling in the presence of the Emperor - is just too uncomfortable to wear or move around in. Throughout the book Vader spends a lot of time not only acclimating himself to his new condition, but dealing with the vestiges of his former life that still linger. We see how a lot of the characters are faring post-Sith, such as Bail Organa: walking a tightrope between feigning loyalty to the Emperor and furthering the liberty of his people... while also hiding his adopted infant daughter and a certain pair of droids from the dark lord's attention. A ton of detail is given in this book about the power structure of the Empire, including the logistical demands that come with creating a military - virtually overnight - that is strong enough to keep subdued an entire galaxy. There is a subplot in this novel involving several Jedi who have somehow managed to escape the calamity of Order 66, and this is handled quite nicely and - somewhat like Forrest Gump - becomes the portal through which we witness what's happened to the more notable characters of the saga. But otherwise this novel is pure Empire, pure Sith... and pure Vader. I've been a huge fan of Luceno's work for some time now (I even wound up sitting right beside him during a panel discussion at Star Wars Celebration II a few years ago... why oh why didn't I ask for his autograph then?!), he probably ranks with Timothy Zahn as my favorite writer of Star Wars fiction, and in Dark Lord he definitely does not disappoint. Highly recommended whomping good read for any Star Wars fan.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Shattered record

We have some special software here at school used to teach and test typing skills. Because I'm going to be using this with a few of my students, I thought it would be a good idea to become familiar with it. So a little while ago I gave myself a typing test.

The last time I measured myself like this, it was maybe five or six years ago. Back then I was typing an average of 120 words per minute... on a good day.

Today my typing speed clocked in at a whopping 153 gross words per minute with 100% accuracy.

Given how I was nothing but thumbs all over the keyboard when I first took typing in high school years ago, I'm rather pleased to see how far I've come :-)