100% All-Natural Composition
No Artificial Intelligence!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Gorilla Warfare: Stalin tried to breed half-ape super soldiers

According to Scotsman.com, Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of half-man/half-ape "super soldiers" in the mid-1920s. From the article:
THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine". The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

Here's the part of the story that made me almost spew Dr. Pepper all over my screen:
Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.
I don't even know how to begin to be curious about something like this.

Carl Schmitt, yesterday's Nazis and today's Bush sycophants

Those who are now claiming that "Bush broke no law" when he violated the Fourth Amendment - by letting the government spy on Americans without warrants - sound an awful lot like one particularly notorious Nazi apologist. Carl Schmitt was a German legal scholar who believed in having a strong dictatorship rather than democratically-elected government. He went on to write a lot of complimentary essays on what Adolf Hitler was doing. In 1934 he even published "Der Führer schützt das Recht" ("The Father protects what's right"), in which he argued that Hitler was being virtuous when he carried out his "Night of the Long Knives". Possibly as many as 400 "political enemies" were murdered on Hitler's orders, and Schmitt defended it by saying that Hitler was part of a higher moral law than that which abhors murder. Carl Schmitt did everything he could to justify Hitler being above the law... exactly as too many of Bush's supporters are now saying that "their man" can't be bothered by the Constitution of the United States.

It's been said that had it not been for Carl Schmitt, the Nazis would not have enjoyed as much legal authority as they did when they carried out their plans against their enemies and anyone deemed to be "inferior".

Lord only knows what today's Bush apologists are paving the way for with whatever else the future has in store for us.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bush admits he's spying on Americans

Is the telescreen watching you tonight, comrade?

Lot of his supporters are saying "it's legal", that there's provision for this in the PATRIOT Act and even in the Constitution itself believe it or not. Yeah, maybe it is legal... but there was no question of legality either when the Nazis spied on its citizens, seized Jewish businesses and then forced millions to walk toward "the showers".

Even if Bush does not abuse this power (and anyone who believes he's not is a hopeless cause in my estimation) there is always going to be someone else down the line who will. Someone with a lot more wisdom and foresight would have seen where this path is leading us, and not have stepped foot on it to begin with.

But since when have most of our "leaders" ever shown any real wisdom?

Monday, December 19, 2005

Tonight's Monday Night Live...

...was without any shred of doubt the most surreal - and funniest - hour of television I've ever seen in my life. As Ken Echols said at one point, "This is finally the show that sends us to prison!" Hula-hooping Santa, "Arnold the Elf", a dog running around the set, Ken and Mark Childrey cutting loose like never before... When I told Chad that this was the most insane edition ever, he commented that "that's saying a lot." If you know Monday Night Live like we do, you'll understand the amount of crazy we're used to with this show. Well tonight they went full-tilt whacko. Everyone in the house - Mom, Dad, Lisa, me - was tearful with laughter. Here's the link to the show's official website. They had an audio archive up somewhere, if this episode gets hosted soon I'll make a link to it. Someday I hope they make a streaming video of the show available so that everyone can check out their antics. Maybe they'll even convert their weekly editions into MP4 video for iPod viewing or something... that would be sweet :-)

EDIT: Here's the MP3 of the audio from last night's Monday Night Live, courtesy of RockinghamRadio.com.

Post #666: The Top Ten WORST Christmas Songs EVER

The Knight Shift hits a notorious milestone with this entry: my Blogger dashboard tells me that to date I've made six-hundred and sixty-five posts on this blog. That makes the one you're reading now #666. Does that mean this article is the tool of Satan? Well whether it is or it isn't, I saved #666 for something that sounds like Hell...
The Top Ten
WORST
Christmas
Songs
EVER

Let's be clear on what this means: songs that were clearly made for humorous intent, like parodies, do not qualify. I'm looking for songs that were either attempts at serious Christmas cheer, or recordings so atrocious that it would have been a sin not to include them here. Meaning that stuff by the Chipmunks, "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Christmas At Ground Zero" and anything by Bob Rivers isn't being counted here (even though I like all of those).

Awright, on with the list...

10. "Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" by John Denver
Nothing brings holiday cheer quite like John Denver making a plea in song to Dear Old Dad that he doesn't come home completely smashed and ruin Christmas like he does every year.

9. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" as sung by the Jackson 5
Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have something in common: they both like little children. Except Santa gives out toys and Jacko takes in boys. The first time I heard this song I could have sworn that it was a girl singing it.

8. "Jingle Bells" as sung by Barbra Streisand
Heard it just once. That was enough, thanks...

7. "Feliz Navidad" by José Feliciano
Not really "bad", just annoying! I first heard this song on Christmas Eve in 1982. I'm still trying to get it out of my head. Lisa made me put this one on the list, so blame her as much as me for it being here.

6. "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney
Number one, the instrumentals in this makes it sound more like "A Clockwork Orange Christmas Time". Number two, the song gets way too much airplay during the month of December. One of many songs that are the bane of everyone who works in a department store or office at this time of year. "Dear God make it stop make it stop MAKE IT STOP!!"

5. "O Holy Night" as sung by South Park's Eric Cartman
It was the "Mr. Hankey" Christmas episode that ruined South Park for me (the recent Scientology episode was pretty cool though). This rendition by Cartman doesn't help matters any. I don't care if it was done for humor: singing "O Holy Night" in that kind of voice, forced into it by cattle prods... what an unholy tune.

4. "Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey" by Lou Monte
I was set to make #4 be "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" until I heard this one. Don't go looking for it, please, if you value your precious mind.

3. "Do You See What I See?" as sung by Rosie O'Donnell and Sesame Street's Elmo
Horrible, horrible duet. This one is from O'Donnell's Christmas album. I like to think that the thousands (millions?) of them that didn't sell got pushed into a landfill in Arizona and covered with cement. Elmo's voice in this should be studied by the Pentagon for use at Guantanamo Bay.

2. "The Christmas Shoes" by NewSong
Dear Lord, where do I start? There is something terribly disturbing about the thought of a little boy buying his mommy new shoes for her trip to Heaven.  There's no telling how many people this song has killed from diabetic shock. People who like this song have their cable tuned into the Hallmark Channel 24/7, I'm sure of it.

1. "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon and Yoko Ono
Feeling suicidal this holiday season? This song will absolutely have you reaching for the razor blade. What is it with ex-Beatles trying to belt out Christmas songs anyway? At least McCartney's is happy. I present this song as Exhibit A in proving to the court how Yoko Ono totally destroyed John Lennon (along with "Imagine"). That's Yoko's voice in this song too by the way... which I thought for the longest time was some poor guy with a hernia. Just plain dreadful to listen to.


Dishonorable Mentions

There's going to be a lot of other songs that people will suggest as "the worst ever", no doubt about it. There's no way to cover all of them, but here's a few more worth noting...
"Soulful Christmas" by James Brown

"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" by Bruce Springsteen

"Christmas With The Devil" by Spinal Tap

"Santa Baby" by just about everyone apart from Eartha Kitt (but especially Madonna)

I'll add on some more to this list if anyone suggests any others.

There you have it: my Top Ten Worst Christmas Songs Ever. As good a use for post #666 as there's ever likely to be :-)

"Beautiful": Review of Peter Jackson's King Kong

I must confess something: before I started writing this review of Peter Jackson's King Kong, I was already well begun on writing a whole 'nother review about the movie. And THAT one came in place of the one I started working on Thursday morning.

The morning after going in to see King Kong, I woke up feeling totally jazzed about the previous night. I was set to write what could only be described as one of my most positive reviews ever. Probably by noon I'd gotten a darned good start at it too. Every fiber of my being wanted to scream out to the world about how overwhelming an experience King Kong is.

But you know how in Jurassic Park – the novel, not the Spielberg movie – it's got Ian Malcolm ranting about "chaos theory": how very tiny things in a system work to totally wreck the entire thing? That's what started happening to my perception of King Kong as I worked through the review in my head: little details of the movie seemed so innocuous at first, but as the day progressed those small things... started accumulating. And then each one started making the last one exponentially worse. I bought the soundtrack CD from the local Target and listened to it on my MP3 player for two hours or so that night, even through the power outage we had from the ice. It was a subconscious effort to stay focused on the good aspects of the movie...

...Though by 9 p.m. I'd started having serious thoughts about whether King Kong was really that great a movie at all. And I realized that I'd begun trying to rationalize for myself why I should give it a great review... instead of being as objective as I could be about it.

By that point I broke down and admitted that all my work throughout the day was completely kaput. I desperately wanted to write a good review of the movie. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. Not without feeling like I was being completely dishonest with whoever might read my review of it. I realized that I could go no further with the original review: I trashed that one and started work on another.

Let me state the obvious: Peter Jackson's King Kong is not a perfect movie. There's just too much that's wrong with it. Some of the effects look unfinished, like the brontosaurus stampede: too many times during which it noticeably looks like the actors are simply jogging in place in front of a green screen. A few of the scenes could have been shortened by a minute or two: the aforementioned brontosaurus scene, and the part where the Venture is running aground near the wall, f'rinstance. With another 3-4 months of post-production work and tighter editing Jackson's King Kong might have come out a completely different film. Darth Larry posted his thoughts on the movie over at his blog and I do feel led to yield to a lot of his points. His review reads a lot like what my own revised one was going to be like: a blunt-honest look at what kept me from giving King Kong my full stamp of approval.

But then, there was something tugging at me to not write that review, either. I've no idea how to put it. King Kong had resonated with my soul and I'm still at a loss for words for why that is. Something reached out from deep inside my being and stayed my hand, because it was telling me that if I were to pull the trigger on that revision – the one pointing out all its faults – that doing so would be something I would really come to regret for a long time to come. Maybe even the rest of my life. I couldn't dare attack King Kong. And so the second review was aborted even faster than the first.

But I wanted to understand why it was that I couldn't say something bad about King Kong either, even knowing that it's not as good as it could have been.

Two days ago I went out with Lisa to do some Christmas shopping. By early afternoon we decided to take in a movie, and she hadn't seen King Kong yet. So we went to the same theater – the Grande at Friendly Center in Greensboro – that Darth Larry and I had seen it at a few nights before, and caught the 1:30 showing. It gave her a chance to check it out, and it gave me an opportunity to watch it and... I think going in this time I had less heightened expectation, since I'd seen it already. Maybe the first time I went in trying too hard to examine the movie. This second time, with my wife at my side, and on the afternoon of what had been a perfect Saturday, I could let myself simply enjoy it.

So now I'm working on my third version of a review about one film. Never before have I had to wrestle so much with my thoughts regarding a single movie. I'm still wrestling with it. It's five days since it came out, and I'm feeling compelled to say something about it. So here goes...

King Kong is my very favorite movie of 2005. And I'll even go so far to say that it ties with Walk The Line as the best movie of the year.

But even if it doesn't win any awards, or won't do as some have predicted by breaking the box office record from Titanic (which I would love to see happen with this movie), and despite all its flaws, when all of that is lost in its vivid detail and terrific plot and wonderfully deep use of character, I cannot help but take a line from Ann Darrow and offer up one word that describes what I feel about King Kong: "Beautiful."

(Okay, I'm writing more than just one word about it. Just follow through with me, willya?)

Even moreso than The Lord of the Rings, King Kong is Peter Jackson's magnum opus. This is the movie he's been preparing all his life to make, ever since he first saw the 1933 original as a kid growing up in New Zealand and tried to make his own with crude claymation at age 12. The first time I ever heard about Peter Jackson it was when The Frighteners came out about ten years ago. Not long after that some photos made their way online showing Jackson with concept sculptures of Kong fighting a dinosaur. He would have made that King Kong too – it was to be set in the 1930s, done in black-and-white but with computer-rendered effects – were it not for a certain trilogy of movies that some regard as the finest saga ever put to film... perhaps even eclipsing the legendary Star Wars series.

But through it all, Jackson's heart was with Kong. You have to know that going in to see King Kong. Everything that Peter Jackson ever loved about the original movie, every trick he's picked up over the past decade, every weird sick fetish the man has – like showing giant creepy bugs and racks of skeletal remains – he poured into King Kong. This is the moment he's been waiting on for the better part of forty years and he shows you how giddy he is to do it. But he also poured every bit as much heart and soul into his version of the Kong story as he did with The Lord of the Rings. And right now, I'm darned hard-pressed to tell you which of these two cinematic creations of Peter Jackson has awed me the more.

Where King Kong first succeeds for me is its first hour, when we're introduced to all the main players amid the setting of the early 1930s. That's a big part of why I love this movie so much. Whatever its detractors may say of the movie, this much has to be conceded: King Kong is a majestic period piece. I'm glad that Jackson set his King Kong in the time frame of the original. The 1933 version was contemporary for its time but an anachronism today. Jackson actually makes his New York City feel more like it's 1933 than the original did... and that's saying a helluva lot. As much as he worked on bringing the giant gorilla to life, I'm convinced Jackson spent as much or more effort resurrecting the New York City of the early Depression. I'm a huge fan of period pieces, especially those set against the backdrop of the 1930s (I was a big fan of HBO's Carnivale for much the same reason, by the way). For someone who appreciates that bygone era, King Kong 2005 is almost a never-ending feast for the eyes.

Peter Jackson opens up King Kong with Al Jolson's "I'm Sitting On Top Of The World" playing against a montage of quick scenes that Jackson shot depicting New York City life in the 1930s. We see things like newsboys standing on street corners with the latest edition of the paper, men walking on steel girders a hundred stories up in the air, throngs of people lined up outside of soup kitchens, and outrageous acts on the vaudeville stage (my favorite is the guy juggling apples while eating them). In fact the first time we see Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) she's doing a Charlie Chaplin impersonation with a small theatre troupe struggling to stay afloat.

Cut to Carl Denham (Jack Black), nervously watching with the studio execs the movie he's shot. He needs money to finish and they aren't willing to invest any more in him. Not even after he pitches the idea of filming on an island that he's somehow got a map to. He ends up stealing his own movie while trying to figure out who to replace his lead actress who quit production (listen for a sly nod to the original King Kong in the exchange between Denham and his associate). Suddenly Denham is a wanted man on top of being a desperate director. And then he practically kidnaps scriptwriter Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) and presses him into the service of finishing the film's screenplay while en route to the unknown onboard a tramp freighter.

By this point in the film I totally forgot that I was watching a movie about a mammoth ape, so immersed did I become in the story of Carl Denham, Ann Darrow, Jack Driscoll and the crew of the Venture. Batman Begins had that same effect on me: Bruce Wayne as a vengeful vagrant trekking across Asia had so completely gripped me that it wasn't until he got picked up by Alfred on the plane that it crossed my mind again that this was a "Batman" movie. I know that some people are going to complain that the first hour of King Kong doesn't have enough action, that it goes by too slow, whatever. To me the first hour is fine as it is. It sets up the characters and their conflicts. The first hour of King Kong makes us care about everything else that happens after they reach Skull Island. Whatever editing the movie could still use, this part of the movie is perfect. I really liked how it established the crew of the Venture, including Captain Englehorn (Thomas Kretschmann), Mr. Hayes and Jimmy (Evan Park and Jamie Bell), and especially Lumpy, played by Andy Serkis. Of all the Venture crew that I came to enjoy as characters – and I liked them a lot, especially the dialogue between Hayes and Jimmy – Lumpy is without a doubt my favorite. You might remember Serkis for his portrayal of Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. He does motion-capture for Kong in this movie, and in Lumpy we get to see him in a more traditional role than we've lately seen him in. And the man can act, believe you me. When he's telling Denham the story of the sailor they picked up seven years ago, it made me wonder just who in the world this Lumpy guy is: what had he seen, where has he been?

But all of this is just overture for what happens next: the arrival at Skull Island. Imagine one of those cities of unholy geometry that H.P. Lovecraft used to write about, that gets inhabited by feral humans. That's what the first part of Skull Island – what's on the safe side of the wall – looks like. And from here on it is where King Kong becomes an exercise not for the weak of stomach. Be warned that Peter Jackson didn't hesitate to turn on the gruesome: the natives of Skull Island look like malnourished orcs from The Lord of the Rings. That's nothing compared to what happens in "the spider pit" that the rescue party is trapped in later on in the movie during their hunt for Kong.

Okay, let's talk about Kong. Kong may be the greatest special effect ever committed to film. He certainly shares top honors with Gollum from Jackson's The Lord of the Rings. Both are products of WETA's computer wizardry. And both characters were played by Andy Serkis. And you know why both special effects work to create believable characters? It's because Jackson and WETA understand something that I don't think the artists at other effects houses have picked up on: it's the eyes. You could just look in Gollum's face and tell whether it was the good side or the bad that had taken over. In King Kong the WETA crew has upped their game significantly. You look in Kong's eyes and you see a real soul there. He's not just an animal anymore. This is someone who can be angry, or joyful. He can throw a tantrum or laugh out loud. He can be brash, and he can be quiet. The scenes where Kong and Ann are making eye contact... so help me, they are really making eye contact with each other. Even more than all his other movements (and can this ape move or what) it was his facial expressions that most captivated me about Kong. Expect a whole slew of technical awards for WETA for pulling this off and making him so utterly believable.

The rest of the effects in the movie... well, I've already touched on how some of them could still use some work. Not much more work, but anyone who's had a steady diet of special effects films will notice. But those are so minor compared to everything else. And the effects that ARE perfect... I don't know what more could be done to the fight between Kong and three dinosaurs. I thought the best effects came in the last part of the movie, when Kong is on his rampage through New York City. From the moment he cuts loose from his chains on Broadway (look for composer Howard Shore conducting the orchestra), the visual work is beyond belief.

Jack Black as Carl Denham... the very first look in this man's face and you'll swear you're seeing dollar signs in his eyes. The '33 Carl Denham comes across as a combo of Frank Buck and Frank Capra: out to make a dollar with a show but basically an okay guy. In 2005 Carl Denham is more like Cecil B. DeMille meets P.T. Barnum meets Captain Ahab. Black's Denham is the king of the hucksters. He is the ultimate moocher. He is exploitation personified. This is a man who would sell off his dear old grandma if he thought he could profit from it. He is obsessed with finishing his movie, and when he can't do that anymore he finds a new obsession. He doesn't see the people around him... the people he dragged into his mess and the ones who are now hurting the most from it. Other people may get injured or killed but Denham always comes out of it unscathed, only to exploit and destroy even more. You will positively come to hate Jack Black's Carl Denham, even as you start to pity him. Black chews up the scenery in every shot he's in... sometimes without even saying a word. He's the kind of guy you'll absolutely demand to be dragged away in handcuffs by the end of the movie. By far the best on-screen villain of the year. In a perfect world there will be at least three men nominated for an Academy Award this year: Ian McDiarmid for Star Wars Episode III, Joaquin Phoenix for Walk The Line, and Jack Black for King Kong.

Naomi Watts as Ann Darrow... this was NOT what I was expecting in a portrayal of Darrow at all. In the original Ann Darrow is there to scream and be kidnapped by Kong and not much else. Darrow 2.0 is much more proactive and engaging. She's a struggling actress who is trying to keep afloat without losing her dignity. She's trying to hold onto something in this world without it being wrenched away from her. As much as Jack Black deserves at least a Best Supporting Actor nod at the Oscars, Naomi Watts should get one for Best Actress. She deserves that much for her interaction with Kong. She also deserves it from all the other little nuances she brings to her character. Her last time with Kong atop the Empire State Building, that's this year’s "I'll never let go Jack" moment. And she makes it work beautifully.

Adrien Brody's Jack Driscoll is a far cry from what he was in the 1933 original – the first mate onboard the Venture – but I wound up enjoying this character a lot more than I expected. This is the second movie I've seen Brody in, besides The Pianist, and in King Kong he pulls off both a quiet writer and a man of action exceedingly well. One other actor I want to make mention of is Kyle Chandler as Denham's leading man Bruce Baxter. In Baxter I found a characterization of everything that's wrong with the typical A-list actor in today's filmmaking industry: someone upstanding and virtuous on the screen but minus the special effects and trick shots, it's somebody who's really more of a coward than the average Joe. There's a great dialogue between Driscoll and Baxter about this even, before the brontosaur stampede. One more thing I like about King Kong: there's gonna be a lot of good quotes coming out of this movie.

James Newton Howard's score here is beautiful, made all the more noteworthy because he really didn't have much time to put it together. Part of me is forever going to be wondering what King Kong would have been like had Howard Shore finished his work on the project, but I'm still satisfied with Newton Howard's compositions here. King Kong's music can be powerful and thrilling, but it also has moments of quiet appreciation. I'm thinking especially of "the ice scene" (the track is "Central Park" if you have the soundtrack), featuring a really moving piano interlude.

What else can I say about King Kong?

I could talk about "the ice scene", but the less I say about that to the uninitiated, the better: it really is something you need to go in and enjoy unawares. I could talk about all the little (and big) references to the original King Kong: from the exact same "man on a swinging vine" sign you see in Times Square as you'll find in the background of one shot of the 1933 version, to the "sacrificial" re-enactment in front of the chained Kong... that looks EXACTLY like the scene in the original when Denham and crew first see the villagers. I could talk about how my heart really did pound during most of the action sequences on Skull Island... and then broke the moment I saw the biplanes emerge from behind the Empire State Building, putting an end to one beautiful moment, because we know how this is going to end for Kong...

Yeah, this has been a long review. But I've never felt so much about a single movie before in my entire life.

I could say a lot more, but what I really want to say is: I absolutely love Peter Jackson's King Kong.

Please understand something: this is not going to supplant the original 1933 King Kong. Ever. Put the thought out of your mind. The 1933 one is always going to be considered the better of the two (or three, if you also throw in the 1976 remake). They did so much with so little back then, and it still holds up even today. I will be enjoying my new DVD of the '33 King Kong for many, many years to come. But I'll also make room on my shelf for King Kong 2005. They are basically the same story, but two very different movies about that story. Each one should be enjoyed and appreciated on the basis of its own merits. I've no problem having both of these films as two of my all-time favorite movies.

King Kong '05 is a movie made for all the reasons why we go to see movies in the first place. It's great escapist fare. It's also got a lot of characters that we come to feel for. It has moments that will make you grab hold of your seat and moments that will make you long for a Kleenex. It's amazing eye candy. It is a great object lesson of this truth: that it's story - and not special effects – that make a movie really special.

In spite of everything that I could say that is wrong with King Kong, I just can't bring myself to focus in on the negative and not stand back, and just admire it for what it is. Lumps and all, this is still everything that can be right and true with the art of filmmaking.

Go see King Kong if you haven't already. Make sure you use the bathroom before the picture starts 'cuz at three-hours-plus this can be a bladder-buster. More important, try to drop any expectations you might have about the movie. Just take it in for what it is: a really terrific motion picture spectacle with a lot of heart to it.

Man, I hope this makes more money than Titanic. If any movie deserves to be the new top banana, it's gotta be Peter Jackson's King Kong.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Second V for Vendetta trailer is online!

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

The second trailer for V for Vendetta is now online for watching! It's gonna be a long wait 'til March now, since I've gotten all my big holiday movies out of the way, and V for Vendetta is the one now I'm most looking forward to. Anyways, click on the link and watch faceless Hugo Weaving start a revolution.

Today's wimp Christians told to "SHUT UP AND TAKE IT!"

Heard something galactically outrageous on the radio on the way into the office this morning. Some Christian station had a brief public service message, apparently it's a daily blurb about Christians and the law. This one started out talking about why Christians need to "foster good relationships" with local, state and federal government. And do you know why it was saying this? Because, the announcer said, ever since this past summer's Kelo decision in the Supreme Court, governments can seize private property - including land that church buildings sit on - and give it over to someone else for private development. So it's up to churches to "behave" themselves lest they risk government coming in and taking their property away.

Did you hear that: THESE $*%@-ING LILY-LIVERED "CHRISTIANS" ON THE RADIO ARE TELLING THEIR FELLOW BELIEVERS TO LET GOVERNMENT RUN ALL OVER THEM!

Where is the old blood that once coursed through the veins of the American Christian? The spirit that cast off the shackles of overseas tyranny and our own ignorance? Why, it is in the very nature of the Christian to stand in defiance of government, if that government is in the wrong. We are accountable to God, after all... and not the state. And now these "Christians" are telling us that we should allow government to have such oversight of our property not only without protest, but with meek surrender?

Last night I asked if America deserves to persevere any longer. When this kind of crap is what it means to be a "good follower of Jesus Christ", then the answer to that question is a fully qualified "No!" Maybe America should collapse, and let a stronger, more noble breed of citizenry rise from the ashes... because idiots who think we should cower in fear over government like this are NOT the kind of posterity that the Founders wanted to entrust this nation to.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Orwell was only 21 years off

It turns out that President Bush has allowed the federal government to SPY on regular Americans without court-issued warrants.

Just once more, for the record: the man is evil. And anyone who isn't seeing a problem with this is helping to usher in the age of Big Brother.

In the name of God, what is wrong with so many Americans that they just roll over and let this happen?

I'm starting to wonder if America deserves to persevere any longer.

I got Tarkin!

At my teaching gig today my supervisor gave me a Christmas card with a Target gift card enclosed within it. I made a joke about using it to buy some Star Wars action figures, and went on to talk about how I've been trying to find the elusive Tarkin figure from the Episode III line for some time now. It's considered ultra-rare: I've seen it for sale on eBay for $30-50. Ever since I saw it on display at Star Wars Celebration III (of which I am gonna put the pics up sometime before the year's out) I've had a horrible fascination with this desiccated corpse of a children's toy. Well, I had to make a stop at Target after work today anyway and I headed to the toy department, more out of whimsy than anything else. I saw about five Star Wars figures hanging on the pegs and then almost howled with disbelief: there was a Tarkin figure! Just a few weeks ago Darth Larry and me were at a toy show at the Greensboro Coliseum: I went there looking for Tarkin but for the first time in bunches that I've gone to the show I didn't find my quarry. Lots of dealers did have some but they sold out really early on. Darth Larry told me that I'd find one sooner or later, and he was right: there it was, just sitting on the shelf waiting to be plucked up. And I didn't have to spring for it on eBay either. And with the gift card (the rest of which I used to help buy the King Kong soundtrack) Tarkin didn't even really cost me anything! Okay, I'm happy now. Happier than I would have been if I'd somehow found an Xbox 360 this holiday season, even! I got a Star Wars figure that a lot of people are looking for, and it came after a hard-fought but honorable search for it. What more could a guy ask for?? :-)

King Kong has 21st best Wednesday opening

Between Catch Me If You Can and Armageddon.

I can attest to this. At the screening we were at last night, I would say that only 1/4th of the entire theater was occupied. Not what I was expecting in the way of a blockbuster audience at all. This is the one thing that really disappointed me: it would have been a lot more fun to have watched King Kong on opening day with a packed house.

I'm going to talk a lot more about it in my forthcoming review. But I'll go out on a limb and make a bold prediction here: King Kong might start really cleaning up once word of mouth starts getting out. That's basically what happened with Titanic: past the hype about it being the most expensive movie ever, it only really took off after the first week or so when it got around that "Hey, this is a really good movie!" Maybe the same thing will happen with Kong: it's definitely a movie that deserves that kind of lucky strike.

EDIT: I just noticed that even with 21st best opening, King Kong still had a better opening day than did Toy Story 2, Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Return of the Jedi. Then again Godzilla 1998 had a better opening day than Return of the Jedi too... guess these aren't adjusted for inflation too well.

Java going out of fashion?

Found an article at BusinessWeek Online about Java losing ground to other programming languages used to create apps for websites. Java is something that's fascinated me ever since I first encountered it in college ten years ago: at the time it seemed like the magic bullet for creating cross-platform applications. It didn't really evolve the way I anticipated it would, but it's still a neat arrow in the web developer's quiver. Anyway, looks like it's gradually giving way to something called LAMP. Head over to the link for an interesting read.

The DaVinci Code and Poseidon trailers online

It's 8:12 and just drove through some nasty freezing rain/iced-up roadways to get to my office (so weird saying that: "my office"). Gonna be working on the King Kong (2005) review in the next little while but in the meantime, wanted to make a note about the full-length trailer for The DaVinci Code and the teaser for Poseidon being online now. I also found the one for Miami Vice but I outright refuse on principle to make a link to that: you wanna see it, find it yourself, but I ain't gonna be part-and-parcel to the destruction of another 80's landmark. Anyways, The DaVinci Code looks like a great trailer even if it's bullcrap bullcrap BULLCRAP history! Sheesh do we really want to regurgitate that old Holy Blood, Holy Grail stuff this badly? Will say though that Tom Hanks looks the best he's appeared in awhile in this trailer (and I noticed that between this and X-Men 3 that Ian McKellen will be in two movies simultaneously this coming May). Poseidon looks totally aces though. If it's as good a remake as King Kong is, I'll gladly buy a ticket to see this. Or it could be mediocre too. That's the thing about the trailers coming out this time of year: the movies they promo can go either way five or six months from now, but these usually look hella cool. Anyway, if you want to see Tom Hanks looking for those darned Christ-children or Kurt Russell on a topsy-turvy cruise ship, hit the above links for Quicktime goodness.

First thoughts on Peter Jackson's King Kong

Just got in. And like what happened last month with my review of Walk The Line, I'm going to give myself a little bit of time to really digest it all. Will have a couple hours later during the day during which I can write up and post a full review.

I don't even know what to post as a thought about it for the interim. It's just... wow.

Is it perfect? No. Is it perfect enough to topple Titanic as all-time box-office champ? I think so.

It will never supplant the 1933 King Kong. This is an animal all its own. But in terms of being in the spirit of the original, this is the best damned remake I've ever seen in my life.

One word from the movie I'll use to describe this with: "Beautiful."

Time for some downtime. More on King Kong 2005 on the flipside.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

King Kong 1976 review

My good friend Marc asked me in a comment on my gorilla-sized review of the King Kong DVD and Kong: King of Skull Island book if I'd seen the King Kong movies from Japan. I've never seen King Kong Escapes but I've watched King Kong vs. Godzilla twice. The first was the day after Thanksgiving 1982 when some TV station in New Jersey had an all-day Godzilla marathon that I watched while the "grown-ups" were gone to Atlantic City: my very first glimpse of Kong in a movie was the scene where the native islanders get Kong passed-out drunk on berry juice, or something. The next time I saw the flick it was one Saturday afternoon some years later on Channel 48's "Billy Bob's Action Theater": think Vampira's old show but with Jeff Foxworthy's illegit half-brother instead. Some years after that I wound up watching King Kong Lives, mostly 'cuz part of it was filmed in this area. The less said of that unconscionable waste of celluloid, the better...

Anyway, I'll be hooking up with comrade-in-arms Darth Larry in a little bit to see Peter Jackson's new Kong movie (it opens today). So we'll soon have the original classic - which still holds its own against anything that modern-day digital wizardry can cook up - and we'll have the 2005 edition, with Jack Black and Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody directed by Peter Jackson with effects by WETA... 'nuff said.

But what about that other King Kong movie? The seemingly forgotten stepchild of Kong history: where does the 1976 remake figure into all of this?

Recently I had the opportunity to watch Paramount's 1976 redo of the standard Kong story. The one with Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange and Charles Grodin. I barely remember when this came out, but I recall enough to tell you that this was a huge thing: there were Kong toys and posters all over the place. I think one of the major burger chains even had a tie-in of some sort. I've seen snippets of it over the years but never the entire thing all the way through, so out of a sense of fairness I made myself watch Kong '76...

And... it's not too bad a movie. But it's not too good a one either. Where the '33 one still looks fresh today, the '76 edition looks horribly dated, and I think that's because of how they chose to implement its special effects. Instead of traditional stop-motion animation, they put Rick Baker in a gorilla suit and a servo-loaded mask to create facial emotion (built by the same guy who did the creature's head for Alien). It resulted in using a lot of miniature sets, many of which don't look too convincing. The movie also has numerous problems with compositing: the scene with the log over the chasm is especially troublesome. And some of the elements of King Kong '76 are just plain laughable: the "Petrox" oil company...?? I'll also say that "Dwan" is the stupidest name for a female character ever.

But problems aside, I think that the Seventies Kong does have some virtue. Having it be an oil research vessel that brings the characters to Skull Island is a pretty neat twist on the original tale. The scenes showing Kong held captive inside the ship en route to New York City: there's something that I would love to have seen depicted in the original film somehow. This remake does do a pretty good job casting Kong in a sympathetic light. And if nothing else, King Kong '76 now bears some poignancy in its use of a place that doesn't exist anymore: the original World Trade Center. Above everything else, that is why That Seventies Kong is worth considering. It's also worth bearing in mind that even though it's considered by many to be lackluster today, when it came out King Kong '76 was a major box-office smash. And it had the effect of propelling Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange to some pretty neat things like Academy Awards(tm) and Tron.

I think King Kong 1976 holds a unique place in cinema history. It has some intriguing twists on the classic story, even if it failed to really live up to its full potential because of now-apparent bad production choices. But even that holds some significance: 1976 Kong was the final special-effects movie before the modern blockbuster era. A few months later a movie called Star Wars came out, and suddenly everything - from the way movies were made to the way they were marketed - changed overnight. The '76 Kong came out at the absolute last moment that it could have and still have made a profit. After Star Wars, the bar would have been set so high, people's expections would have been raised so much, that this King Kong wouldn't have passed scrutiny at all. It really was the last big effects film of the era that started with the original King Kong in 1933.

If you wanna know more about the 1976 King Kong, Jeffrey Blair Latta's Kingdom Kong page is rife with info, trivia, pictures and more from the production. It came in quite handy while I was writing this review.

Well, I'm off to see King Kong 2005 now, but I'm glad that I got to get in a word or two about the first two Kong flicks beforehand. Will report back later with the 411 on how this new one stacks up. In the meantime keep smilin' :-)

Yup, Bush's intelligence certainly IS faulty

I'm fast becoming convinced: neo-conservatives are schoolyard bullies that never grew up like the rest of us. Today the punk who enjoyed branding others with a red-hot wire hanger while a college student is telling us "oops, it was bad data all along but I'm still going to send your sons and daughters to die!" From Bloomberg.com...
Bush Says Iraq War Was Justified Even Though Intelligence Wrong

Dec. 14 (Bloomberg) -- President George W. Bush accepted responsibility for taking the U.S. to war in Iraq based on faulty intelligence while saying the invasion still was justified by the threat posed by Saddam Hussein and international terrorism.

"It is true that much of the intelligence turned out to be wrong," Bush said today in the final speech in a series intended to outline his Iraq strategy. "Given Saddam's history and the lessons of September the 11th, my decision to remove Saddam Hussein was the right decision."

What the hell is this blithering idiot talking about?! Saddam may have been a bad guy but he had nothing to do with 9/11!

But wait, there's more...

"I am responsible for the decision to go into Iraq," the president said at the Woodrow Wilson International Center in Washington. "I'm also responsible for fixing what went wrong by reforming our intelligence capabilities, and we're doing just that."
Remember when Bush told us that going to war was an "agonizing" decision that he didn't take lightly? Well, now it seems like he totally glossed over all reason and sanity, and plowed ahead with his little war.

I'll say it again: cowards should not send others to fight a war when they themselves would not. And that's all Bush really is in all this: a coward who hides behind others.

Early word on V for Vendetta

This past July I made a post about the just-then released trailer for V for Vendetta, hopefully conveying the impression of just how eagerly I'm awaiting this movie. If done right, V for Vendetta has the potential to upset a LOT of applecarts all over the place... which I think might be a good thing. A few days ago Harry Knowles from Ain't It Cool News had his annual "Butt-Numb-A-Thon" film festival and the audience he assembled got to be the very first people for whom V for Vendetta got screened. Their reaction? Here's what Harry had to say about it, and here's what another viewer thought about the movie. There's some pretty harsh language here (what you can usually expect from AICN) but these reviews really have me looking forward to V for Vendetta that much more. If you've never read the original Alan Moore graphic novel, do yourself a favor and stop by your local Borders or Barnes & Noble and pick up a copy and prepare for a treat. Here's hoping that the Wachowski Brothers really did nail everything in their movie like the early reports are saying they did.