So what's "Canadian Idiot" like? It's a spot-on spoof of the original by Green Day, poking fun at everything stereotypical Canadian from hockey to beer to guns. I like it a lot (then again I like just about everything Weird Al does so I might be biased a bit :-) I just hope that this is the last song from the new album that gets leaked before the CD's street date: I mean, there has to be something fresh to make us ought to want to buy the album that much more, right?
Friday, September 08, 2006
AGAIN?! Now "Canadian Idiot" by Weird Al hits online
Look at it if you wanna
How SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE should have REALLY ended
EDIT 8:19 AM EST: I just found where this video originated from. It's a site called How It Should Have Ended and there's even MORE hilarious stuff to be watched over there. You just have to see this one for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...
Forty years ago today...
Live long and prosper.
(P.S.: the original show will always be cool.)
ANOTHER new Weird Al song makes its way online!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
That's gotta hurt

Cell phones found inside four prisonersMakes you wonder how painful this thing is if it's set on "vibrate".
Wed Sep 6, 10:57 PM ETSAN SALVADOR, El Salvador - Cellular telephones were found inside four prisoners in El Salvador's maximum-security prison, authorities said Wednesday.
The discovery was made Tuesday at the prison in Zacatecoluca, in central El Salvador, after suspicious officials took X-rays of each of the inmates, federal corrections chief Jaime Villanova said.
The names of the prisoners, all members of the dangerous Mara Salvatrucha gang, were not released in order to avoid jeopardizing an ongoing investigation that began a month ago, he said.
Capt. Juan Ramon Arevalo, director of the prison known as Zacatras, said the gang members had introduced the cell phones, wrapped in plastic bags, into their bodies through their anuses. Authorities also found nine cell phone chips and one charger.
"Each one had a cellular with a number of chips," Arevalo said, adding that one also had hidden a charger in his anal cavity.
The inmates allegedly used cell phones to direct criminal activities on the street from inside the prison, Arevalo said. The smuggled phones were found during an investigation at prisons throughout the country amid complaints from business owners of extortion by gang members.
Prisoners change phone chips frequently to avoid being traced, Arevalo said.
The police have doubled their security levels to combat the criminals.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
The full track listing for Weird Al's STRAIGHT OUTTA LYNWOOD
Anyway, here's the list of what will be on Straight Outta Lynwood:
1. White and Nerdy - parody of Ridin' by Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie BoneAs you migh know, "You're Pitiful" was originally going to be on this album, but James Blunt's record company asked Al not to do it (which is why he made it a free download). One thing I've noticed is that the parodies from Straight Outta Lynwood seem to be those of some very current songs, like the Taylor Hicks one. Makes me wonder if Al might be considering doing song parodies all the time and sticking them on the Internet after he finishes them. That would definitely be a good self-marketing thing to do (in my opinion marketing himself through his own website and his Myspace page like this is something very innovative that Al is doing).2. Pancreas - an original song with an animated video on the DualDisc
3. Canadian Idiot - parody of American Idiot by Green Day
4. I'll Sue Ya - an original song that also includes an animated video on the DualDisc
5. Polkarama! - Al's usual polka medley of current well-known songs (my favorites of those have got to be Polka Your Eyes Out and Bohemian Polka)
6. Virus Alert - an original song about computer viruses and the like that infect your computer from your friends's e-mail outboxes, also featuring a music video is animated by David Lovelace, the creator of Retarded Animal Babies. According to Lovelace, "just about every RAB character will have cameos in the video."
7. Confessions Part III - parody of Confessions Part II by Usher
8. Weasel Stomping Day - an original song to be given a "Robot Chicken video treatment" with a stop-motion animation piece on the popular cartoon's 35th episode, airing on September 24, 2006.
9. Close But No Cigar - an original song "kind of about this cat who's trying to hit on several girls, but he finds out that they're not really his type." John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren & Stimpy, and Katie Rice are working on the animated video.
10. Do I Creep You Out - parody of Do I Make You Proud by Taylor Hicks
11. Trapped in the Drive Thru - parody of Trapped in the Closet by R. Kelly
12. Don't Download This Song - a style parody of We Are the World which "describes the perils of online music file-sharing." Also features a Bill Plympton-animated video.
Taylor Hicks fan that I am, I can't wait to hear "Do I Creep You Out" :-)
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Ten years ago tonight: Fran roars ashore

So we had that good home-cooked meal that one of the local churches always provided us on Thursday nights and I left for the apartment around 6. By this point the rain was coming down harder. I stopped at the shopping mall on the way and thought that I could use some reading material to pass what threatened to be a long evening, I bought Tom Clancy's new novel Executive Orders. As I was leaving the mall I saw that it had really started pouring down, so figuring that I needed one anyway I bought an umbrella at Sears, then ran through the parking lot to my car, and went on home.
As the night slowly progressed, the wind began to pick up, until about 11 o'clock it had become a roaring din. By that time I had decided to hit the sack for the night and tried to get some sleep. But being on a second-floor apartment, in a bedroom facing into a courtyard between three other buildings and about five tall trees right out the window... well, I swear I spent every waking moment laying in bed and just knowing that at any second one of those trees was going to come crashing through the wall and kill me instantly. Never did get to read my book, by the way.
So it went throughout the night. And I don't know when it was that sleep finally overtook me: maybe around 3 or 4 in the morning. And my alarm clock woke me up at 6:30 a.m. When it did, I listened and heard nothing else: no wind, no patter of raindrops... and I was thinking "hey that wasn't so bad!" Obviously we still had power. So I got up and took a shower, not even bothering to turn on the television for morning news about the hurricane. Forty-five minutes later I did, and stupid me finally started comprehending the devastation that had wracked us during the night...
It turned out that where we were in Burlington was one very narrow sliver of geography that managed to have electricity going nonstop through the storm. A few minutes into the broadcast they ran at the bottom of the screen that classes at Elon had been cancelled. I woke up my roomie and told him not to bother going into class, that he could sleep all day if he wanted. Right after that is when I looked out into our parking lot: every square inch covered in the green of blown-off leaves and twigs. I went downstairs, got in my car and went to get my usual daily newspaper. The power was out at the Circle K and a cop was directing traffic at the intersection. With the store closed I drove up and down Mebane Street trying to find a place that was open, all along the way shaking my head in disbelief: at least five or six houses had trees fall through the roof. One whole stand of trees that had been there was just... gone. Definitely believe a tornado had touched down there.
I went back to the apartment for a little bit, then headed back out, this time going to Elon. I soon hooked up with "Weird" Ed and we walked around the campus together oggling the damage: there was a tree thrown into the middle of Lake Mary Nell. Another tree had fallen in front of Virginia, another ripped out in front of the auditorium. Someone from the student newspaper took a picture of Ed and I standing at the base of one up-rooted tree: the base was easily three or four feet taller than we were standing.
We went inside the student center, which had been turned into an emergency shelter for any students wanting to take cover there. We ran into a friend of ours named Kendall and he started telling us the craziest thing: that all during the night students were running around out in the storm, sliding down slopes and splashing in the mud. With all the trees that had gotten knocked down it's nothing short of a miracle that nobody got killed that night!
I spent about two hours on campus, then headed back to the apartment, had a frozen pizza for dinner and with nothing else to do tried watching some TV... except the cable was out: the one utility that Fran had foiled for us.
Anyway, that was Hurricane Fran: one of the most devastating that has hit this state in the past quarter-century or so. A few years later we were hit by Floyd, which did a lot more damage but didn't come nearly as inland as Fran did. But all the same, Fran one one heck of an experience to go through. You haven't really lived until you have something like a Category 3 hurricane bearing down on you, especially after watching it track right at you for two or three days previous. Like I've said before, hurricanes are the thermal-moisture dispersion engines from Hell. And to be in the path of one is like looking down the barrel of God's shotgun. It's one of the most dangerous things you can ever go through... but man, I'd be lying if I said that spending the night with Fran didn't give me a rush like few things ever had.
Does anyone really care about Katie Couric taking over the anchor chair?
Couric is being paid - whether too much so is something I'll leave up to the reader to decide - to look into a camera and report the news, and that's all. She's not even being a real on-the-beat reporter at that, even. What she will start doing tonight is something that literally anyone could do. I mean, how much talent does it take to read a teleprompter?
Don't take this to mean that I wish Couric anything but the best in her new job. But let's be realistic: in a sane world this would be a minor transition at most. As it is, Couric's prominence tonight is symptomatic of a country obsessed with the cult of celebrity, where everyone is trying to be famous for the sake of being famous. What is sorely lacking as a result is the quality of simple character. Which I hope it is that Couric is bringing to the news desk, instead of merely being a pretty face that CBS has lured in the hopes of raking in higher ratings.
I guess what I'm really trying to ask is: are there any real people of character left in this country... or have we all become empty suits waiting to be held up by sudden fame?
(Most of this country's leaders are the latter, parse that as you will.)
I AM LEGEND: A movie that should have been made ten years ago
And running around in this wasted world, trying to stay alive and racing to get indoors before the sun went down was going to be Robert Neville... played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was going to be Schwarzenegger's finest late-Nineties role (seeing as how Crusade never got made, which still irks me because that would have been an awesome film to behold). This would have been the role that defied everything else that Schwarzenegger had done, and would have defined who he would be as an actor for the next decade or more. Ridley Scott's I Am Legend would have been nothing short of epic... had it wound up in serious production.
What happened? I blame Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin more than anything. That film poisoned the well of everyone who was involved with it: Schwarzenegger and George Clooney were the only ones who really managed to escape that mega-bomb of a fiasco, but it still took awhile. By the time the stink had finally worn off from that rubber-nippled nightmare, I Am Legend had quietly been shelved. The last I heard anything being done with it was probably summer of 2000.
Well, tonight Ain't It Cool News has the first pics to be found from the production of I Am Legend. I had no idea production had started up again on this. And I would like to say that I'm really looking forward to seeing this novel given the big-budget treatment...
...but right now I'm not all that very impressed with where this is going. For one thing it's being written by Akiva Goldsman, whose previous work includes - yup - Batman & Robin. For another thing, this is going to star Will Smith as Neville. Which I like Will Smith a lot, but as a fan of the novel... well, I just can't see it working out with him in the role. I think they're going to play it more as an action thriller, when I Am Legend is not that at all. It's about the last normal man on Earth trying to retain his humanity, fighting to stave off hunger and temptations that if he were to succumb to them would mean the end of his life... or begin the damnation of another. I mean, to me the most heartbreaking part of I Am Legend is when he finds the dog: would that make it into a movie with Will Smith? Would they keep the ending just as it is in the book? I dunno...
Well, I've never seen The Last Man on Earth but I have seen The Omega Man and although it's dated quite a bit now, I would definitely recommend it especially if you want to see Charlton Heston at his gun-totin' finest. And by all means, do read Richard Matheson's I Am Legend: one of the books that Stephen King credits with starting his own writing career. It's very much the most original twist on the classic vampire tale that I've ever seen... and it's just a darned good book. In the meantime, I'll withhold further judgement on this new movie until I see more coming out of production.
But I still sometimes wonder just how cool the Ridley Scott version would have been...
Monday, September 04, 2006
Behold the crippled writer
Blogger techs swear that we'll "soon" be able to comment on non-beta blogs, but in the meantime I've a lot of friends posting good stuff and I can't leave any replies on 'em. Hope its something that gets fixed sooner rather than later.
"Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin is dead

What a tragedy. He seemed to be a man who really enjoyed his work. And he has such a beautiful family - his wife Terri and two kids - also.
Darn, this is just so wrong. This was a guy who was everywhere over the past ten years or so. He even had his own movie, Collision Course, that came out one time. I watched it on HBO a few years ago and it was pretty good.
Well, what else can be said? He was definitely a one-of-a-kind character.
EDIT 03:10 PM EST: About five years ago when Jurassic Park III was hitting theaters, those wacky guys at WWWF Grudge Match pitched a battle between Steve Irwin and the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park. It was pretty hilarious and of course Irwin being the Crocodile Hunter(tm) he won handily. This matchup pretty much summed up the kind of character that Irwin was so in honor of the the work that he did, here is the link to Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin versus Jurassic Park.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
"You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em"
And then last week at the TV station, while we were running a weekly sports show, I caught a commercial for something called Bodog.net, where supposedly you can learn to play poker quite easily. I checked out the site and a couple of days ago signed up for a free account. After that came downloading the Bodog.net poker client (about 5 megabytes or so). Then it was just a matter of watching others play it before jumping in myself...
Here's the Bodog.net poker screen (take a wild guess which player I am :-) No real money at stake here: when you sign up with Bodog.net you get $1,000 of play money, and you can come back and get more if you get wiped out at the tables again and again and again. Bodog.net is not to be confused with Bodog.com, which is a real play-for-money online betting venue (they're run by the same company though, a Costa Rican outfit called Bodog). Bodog.net is strictly for fun and learning... and I doubt I'll ever play for anything higher than a coupl'a stacks of nickels anyway.
So at Bodog.net the main game is Texas Hold'em: each player is dealt two hole cards and then there are five community cards which along with your hole cards you make your full hand. It's said to be the most popular variety of poker played these days, and the one used in all those televised poker championships. I knew nothing about Texas Hold'em but after going over the easy-to-follow instructions on the Bodog.net page and then actually playing a few rounds with other people, I found myself getting the hang of it pretty well. I've probably played ten games so far since taking the full plunge last night: I won more than six hundred "dollars" in one game, then make some really stupid decisions and lost it all before going back to the main page to beg for more play-dough. After the last hand I played I had about twelve hundred in my account. That'll probably get wasted before the night's over unless my loved ones can't stand to see what's become of me and stage an intervention to make me stop before I start wagering away my unborn children.
Seriously though, if you've ever wondered what it's like to play a real poker game and don't know where to start but don't want to put your paycheck in real jeopardy, give Bodog.net a try. And who know: maybe this is just the first step on the path that will someday find me being a high roller in Atlantic City or Reno or Cherokee :-P
Friday, September 01, 2006
JURASSIC PARK is playing on AMC right now
So I went in to see the movie on opening day... and left the theater very let down. Jurassic Park the movie is so unlike the book in too many ways to count. The most obvious is the dinosaurs: the book has something like fifteen or sixteen species of dino, while the movie only has about five or six. I thought the ending of the novel - when the military arrives and burns down the entire island - would have been MUCH cooler to see on the screen than that last-minute "rescue" by the T-Rex. Entire characters and plotlines were left out from the book. Some of the movie just doesn't make sense at all, like toward the beginning when Grant is telling the kid about how the T-Rex saw things... when there's no way at all that Grant could have known something like that just from studying a pile of bones! I mean, that was something that he only realizes much later in the book, almost by accident.
Jurassic Park the movie soured me on the whole thing about being hyped for a big-budget summer flick for quite a long time afterward, it only being when Independence Day came out that I really felt that sense of fun again. But the movie version of Jurassic Park does have some merit to it: it was one of John Williams's best film scores of the past twenty years. And the technology that was developed to bring the dinosaurs to "life" did pave the way for MUCH more neat stuff in the years to come, like everything from the Star Wars prequels to this summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
So, for me personally anyway, I look at Jurassic Park the movie as being a movie that had a lot of promise, that failed to deliver on too many things, but all the same it sowed the seeds for a lot of what we've come to expect from good SFX blockbusters in the years since. I'll give it a grade of B+ for doing that much at least.
WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO? The winner is...

And the winner is... Feedback! I was sort of hoping Fat Momma would have won though: in so many ways she's the most unique superhero I've ever seen (and that cover that was drawn for her comic book was awesome!). But I think Feedback is going to more than live up to the mantle that's been bestowed upon him. The show ended great: with all the hero wannabes (including Iron Enforcer, who did eventually "turn good" after being the Dark Enforcer for most of the show's run) congratulating Feedback and Stan "The Man" Lee himself coming out to give Feedback a victory embrace. I don't care how contrived this show may have been (I definitely don't think the challenges were staged with any outcomes in mind though), Who Wants To Be A Superhero? was the the most rollickin' fun show I saw during this summer season. Let's hope they make a second edition for next year!
(For more on the show and its cadre of heroes, click here for the official site.)
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Ernesto barely worth thinking about
But all the same, we are going to be getting some much-needed rain from this system. Although I will admit that deep down, part of me is wanting the adrenaline rush that comes with riding out a major hurricane. This season we've been very lucky. And don't get me wrong, hurricanes are something that cause a lot of devastation...
...but there's no feeling in the world quite like being someplace in the projected path of an oncoming hurricane: the hydro-thermal engine from Hell. Waiting out the really big storms is like looking down the barrel of God's shotgun.
It'll be ten years ago next week that we got hit by Fran. I'm gonna try to do a write-up about it sometime then.