100% All-Natural Composition
No Artificial Intelligence!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Yeah, another update on the Ron Price fiasco

Quick primer for those who don't know what's going on: Ron Price, one of my fellow school board candidates, was caught in the act of stealing campaign signs on the evening of November 6th, the night before the election. The signs he stole belonged to U.S. House incumbent Brad Miller and Price was working on the rival Vernon Robinson campaign. Price later said he was just taking the Miller signs to the local DOT because they were illegally placed. Maybe that's so... but it doesn't explain why Price put Robinson signs in their place. Well, I didn't win a seat but Ron Price came in fifth so he's set to be sworn in to the Rockingham County Board of Education this coming Monday night. Since his act of larceny a lot of people have called for him to do the right thing and step aside (here's my open letter to Price). Price is refusing to do so. He even told at least one person that it was okay that he broke the law because "I was elected".

I reported last week about Price appearing in court. I didn't know at the time but Price pleaded "not guilty" to the criminal charges of endangering advertisements, which carries the same penalties as does being in possession of marijuana. It's worth noting that there's been a petition to be sent to the state board of education calling for Price's fitness to serve on the board be investigated by the county board: if the county board agrees that he broke the law, they would have to vacate his seat.

If Price had pled guilty that would have been substantial grounds for his removal from the board (provided the board does abide by state law in this matter). If he's found guilty in court that's going to look even worse for him. At least one person with knowledge of such matters has told me that in all likelihood, Price's goose is cooked because there's a high probability he'll be found guilty... assuming, of course, that the board adheres to the law if he is.

Meanwhile, more candidates from the school board race have weighed in and said that Price has no place on the school board. On his Reidsville Free Press website last week Jeff Sykes called for Price to step aside. And now former candidate Penny Owens has published an e-mail she recently sent to Price:

Realizing you may not have had a chance to review the school board policies with regard to what we expect from our students, I have taken the liberty of forwarding this portion of Policy 4300 to you. I am interested in your comments, although I am sure you will not respond. How ironic that you do not exhibit these qualities yourself, but our students are expected to and you will have a position of authority over our students as a member of the school board.
G. Integrity and Civility

All students are expected to demonstrate integrity, civility, responsibility and self control. This expectation is directly related to the board’s educational objectives for students to learn to be responsible for and accept the consequences of their behavior and for students to respect cultural diversity and ideological differences. Integrity, civility, responsibility and self control also are critical for establishing and maintaining a safe, orderly and inviting environment.

This is the heartmeat of the matter right here: the example that Ron Price, as a member of the school board, would be setting for the students of Rockingham County. How is it going to look to the children when they have someone who broke the law - and even admitted that he did it but brazenly refuses to be held accountable - who is running the schools they're in?

No doubt Price isn't going to do the right thing, and he's going to be sworn in on December 11th. But I have serious doubts that he'll be there for long. And even if he does manage to hold out, he's going to be a really lame member of the board in the minds of plenty enough people.

More as it develops...

EDIT 3:16 AM EST 12-8-2006: Price has changed his blog again. This time he's telling us to "Look for the complete and factual account of the sign incident on this web page in the near future." He's also already calling himself an "AT LARGE Member Rockingham County Board of Education. Dedicated to serving the students and citizens of Rockingham County"... nevermind the fact that there's still three and a half days before he's actually sworn in.

If the "complete and factual account" of the sign incident is still to come, why hasn't he shared it with us already? I mean, telling the truth shouldn't be the hardest thing to do in the world, especially for a Christian.

My take on this? We won't hear "complete and factual" from Price until it passes muster with his attorney.

Opening scene from the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

I don't dare force anyone to watch the entire thing. If you want to find it, it's easy enough to track down on the web (it's also "serialized" into several parts on YouTube). But in this season of too many Christmas specials on TV, it's good to be reminded of how much worse they all could be by taking a look at the most glorious travesty that was ever done in the name of Star Wars...
This is the thing that George Lucas has stated that if it were in his power to do so, he would track down every existing copy and have them incinerated. There's a reason he has that sentiment and if you watch this you'll understand why.

I will say this though: when I was the Humor editor at TheForce.net, the Star Wars Holiday Special did provide a lot of great pics to use in the "Captioning" feature. I went back and tracked 'em down: #36 and #37 are from late 2000 and a year later I ran #57 (again featuring Harvey Korman as the weird 4-handed alien "Julia Child") and #58 (that's Art Carney with Chewbacca's son Lumpy... yeah this was a pretty forgettable special awright). I remember those captions especially well 'cuz everyone really enjoyed poking fun at the Holiday Special. And these aren't from the special but I still have a lot of fondness for #41 (a pic from the B-movie Yor: Hunter from the Future) and #61 (doesn't Andre the Giant look so much like Emperor Palpatine in that shot? :-).

Anyway, if you really absolutely must, don't let me stop you from watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. It should be seen by every Star Wars fan at least once in their life. After that, even Jar Jar Binks looks pretty good.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"Conservative" group goes too far with "manger" scene

The lust to destroy other people because of their political persuasion will certainly lead to the downfall of this country. I don't care who it is who's doing the hating: Democrat or Republican or "conservative" or "liberal". Seeing one's fellow man as a target of political expedience is... I don't know what else to call it except "base evil".

(Look in some of the more prominent "political discussion" forums if you want to see what I mean. Which is one of the reasons I quit doing those.)

I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. I also hold to many more traditionally conservative values than I do with other political leanings. That said, what's depicted in this picture disgusts me. And not because of the intent these students probably had in mind either. I suppose the "conservative" students at the University of Texas think of themselves as particularly clever for having come up with this. To me it's a display of intellectual shallowness. It shows that the students are incapable of thinking outside the box that their political philosophy has confined them to. There's definitely nothing Christian about it...

That's an "ACLU Solstice Barn" that the Young Conservatives at the Austin campus of the University of Texas have set up. Mary and Joseph have been replaced with homosexual "Gary and Joseph". The Magi are Stalin, Lenin and Marx. Of course they also had to do the "currently stylish" thing and throw in Nancy Pelosi. Here's the story at WorldNetDaily if you want to know more.

I've no love for the ACLU. I think they've done a few good things over the decades but those have been woefully overshadowed by too much lunacy, like attacking public display of manger scenes at Christmas (oh I forgot, it's "the holidays"). They're too much known for the evil they've done as opposed to the good. I've no problem with attacking them as an organization...

...but there is a line of appropriateness and good taste. And these "conservative" students have crossed it with this display.

I don't care if Stalin, Lenin and Marx are insulted, if it's not done as crass as it is here. What bothers me is the inclusion of Pelosi. These "conservatives" and far too many others desperately want to hate someone for the "sin" of being a Democrat. It's not like when Bill Clinton was President: Lord knows that man deserved the ridicule... but loathing someone because you are expected to do so by your political party shows how little free will some people have. To me, there's no difference between this and the "Two Minutes Hate" from Orwell's 1984. This just happens to be more sophisticated. But it still serves the same purpose: focus the people's raw emotion on something, let them vent their anger... so they'll be distracted from the things that really matter and hence become more controllable. And isn't that what this whole thing is, really: a show of power and control?

Those aren't conservative values. At least, not any that I wound up adopting over the years. Neo-conservative maybe, but not classic conservatism.

Bottom line: these "conservative" students are accomplishing little more than showing everyone how very proud they are to be willing to be used as tools to further something as ultimately meaningless as a political agenda. And they're doing as much damage to the imagery of Christmas as the group they are attacking with it. If there is anyone with adult maturity among the Young Conservatives at the University of Texas, they should tear this thing down tonight.

Weird Al is "White and Nerdy" at the VH1 Big in 06 Awards

What a terrific performance!

What's a good "upconverting" DVD player?

Lisa and I are still in awe at "the Behemoth": the 37 inch LCD high-def TV we got about two weeks ago. Not that we're really that materialistic or anything: "instant gratification" is something we've never really pursued so far as "buying things" goes. But all the same: this is one heckuva television... and I've never even been a die-hard TV person! It's not just the high-def broadcast that's amazing either: I never imagined that Halo on the Xbox could look so beautiful.

So yeah, we like it a lot. And though I'm on the conservative side when it comes to new technology, I must admit that I would love to get as much out of this as I can. The sound quality is perfect for us as it is (I doubt I'll ever spring for a Surround Sound or home THX system) but when it comes to playing DVDs, well...

I'm waiting at least two years, and see which of the two competing high-def formats becomes the standard. But all the same, I'd love to get as good a picture as can possibly be produced from my collection of DVDs.

So for the past several days I've been researching standard DVD players with the "upconversion" feature, or sometimes called "upscaling". That means that the player enhances the video data from the DVD for output through the HDMI channel. A lot of people swear that this makes standard DVDs look really good on an HDTV: that even at 1080i it's pretty stunning. If there's any way to make my precious Star Wars saga or The Lord of the Rings look that much more awesome on this high-def set, I'd certainly fork over a reasonable amount of coin for it.

So if anyone knows of a DVD player with upconversion that would be well worth the money, that you know does a really good job at improving the resolution/color/other stuff, I'd appreciate it if you could please recommend it to me :-) Thanks!

The book binge continues with HELTER SKELTER

I commented to Mom earlier tonight (okay, so it's 3:30 a.m. on December 5th, and I've been awake since yesterday morning, so it was really Monday night) that in the three-some months during which I was running the school board campaign, I lost track of everything that I usually keep up with. Among those are movies that have came out that I've wanted to see but haven't had time to yet (The Prestige, The Fountain and Casino Royale are tops on the list).

And I'm a voracious reader too, and there hasn't been time to do that much either. The rumor is that the seventh and final Harry Potter novel is due to come out on July 7th (#7 on 7/07/07, wouldn't that be cool?) and I'm hoping to re-read all six of the current books before then. In the meantime I'm catching up with stuff that's come out lately, like the new Star Wars novel Darth Bane: Path of Destruction and Michael Crichton's latest thriller Next. I'll probably be picking up Orson Scott Card's Empire - a speculative novel about a modern day civil war in America - pretty soon.

But in the meantime, ever since finishing Next a few nights ago, I've immersed myself in another book. One that I've read many, many times over the years...

"The story you are about to read will scare the hell out of you"

Those are the very first words that you find when you open the cover of Helter Skelter. If anything, it's an underwhelming warning that isn't adequate enough at all. Because after more than three decades, Helter Skelter is still the most classic true-life crime book ever written. And no matter how many times I've read it, the book continues to horrify.

This is the same copy I bought in May of 1992, a few weeks before graduating from high school. My best friend Chad had been reading it and he said I would probably ummm... well, "enjoy" isn't the right word to use, is it? One of the local stations happened to run the Helter Skelter TV movie like a week before I got the book, and that piqued my curiosity all the more. Once I started reading it I could barely stop.

This is still the definitive book about the Charles Manson murders. Written by Vincent Bugliosi: the man who prosecuted Manson and the other defendants in the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murder case. This is the textbook that should be studied at length by every judge, lawyer, and member of the law enforcement in the country, and anyone else interested in the law. Helter Skelter is not only an amazing study in how to build up and prosecute a criminal case, but it's also a dire chronicle of official blundering and the negative impact of departmental rivalry. I still cannot comprehend how the investigators originally did not believe the murders at the Tate house and the ones the following night at the LaBianca residence were connected in spite of the similarities... like ummmm, the words written in blood at both scenes.

By the way, 2006 marks the thirtieth anniversary of the Helter Skelter two-part made-for-TV movie. It came out not long ago on DVD if you ever want to watch it. Apart from the names of some of the characters being changed (the most obvious being Manson's defense attorney Irving Kanarek, who came Mr. "Scoble" in this production) it's probably the most accurate film adaptation from a book I've ever seen. One thing I happened to catch is that during the raid on Spahn Ranch in the movie, Juan Flynn is dressed exactly as he is shown in the photo in the book, even though Flynn has no speaking role in the film. It's the small details like that which make this movie so good. And it must be said: the portrayal by Steve Railsback of Charles Manson is still one of the most chilling ever seen of any character in movie history. Too bad that his performance was so awesome that Railsback wound up getting typecast because of it and since then has mostly found work playing other murderous wackos (he even played Ed Gein in a movie about that case).

Anyways, I'm re-reading Helter Skelter now, and at the rate I'm going I might have 9 or 10 more books read by New Year's. Which is all the more impressive considering we've got that new 37-inch high-def TV set (maybe I'll play the Helter Skelter DVD on it for Lisa to watch :-P).

Scales Street at 10 PM on a Saturday night in December

I did nothing on my shift from 3 to 11 p.m. this past Saturday except run the Draper, Leakesville and Reidsville Christmas parades over and over again (that wasn't my programming decision by the way :-). Lisa said she was coming by the station and I asked her to bring my digital camera with her: I wanted to try to take some pics of the streets outside the station lit up for Christmas.

These were taken at 10 p.m. on the night of December 2nd, 2006, from the corner of Scales Street and Gilmer Street in Reidsville, North Carolina. The first is looking north up Scales (you can just see the Confederate monument way down the street)...

This next one is looking toward the big mural...

I'm going to take a few more nighttime pics of places around here decked out for the holidays in the next few weeks. And a short while before I took these, I snapped some pics of the inside of our station. So if you ever wanted to know what the real innards of a TV station look like, your chance is coming up soon :-)

Monday, December 04, 2006

Hillary is running for President?

Dear Lord... I never thought I'd be using this again:

The "Hillary as a dominatrix" element is from a 1993 issue of the old Spy Magazine. On the night of November 4th, 1996 - the night before the election - posters showing her in that getup with the caption "Put yourself in bondage, Elect Clinton on Tuesday" appeared all over the Elon College campus. That lil' bit of mischief was the work of myself and two friends. Now here it is ten years later and I've made another "Put yourself in bondage" graphic. I never thought this would be happening again, but with reports coming in that she's serious about running for President the circumstance kind of demanded it.

I could say more about this, but I'll save it for some other time.

Windows Vista: Nine different ways to turn it off

Another entry in the "Just because it's done by committee doesn't mean it's good" file. This one's from BusinessWeek.com: Microsoft's new Windows Vista operating system will have NINE different ways to shut down.
How many ways should you be able to shut off a laptop? How about nine? Microsoft's long-awaited Vista operating system, launched for business customers on Nov. 30, includes that many options, according to programmers familiar with the software. That's two shortcut icons and a shut-down menu with a full seven options.

The number of choices has some techies chortling at what they see as the sheer absurdity of it all—and others astounded that the software giant could come out with something so unwieldy after years of development. Critics say that Vista, for all its capabilities, could end up being too complex for the average consumer. After all, how many features do you need for the computer equivalent of a light switch? "I'm sure there's a whole team of [user interface] designers, programmers, and testers who worked very hard on the OFF button in Windows Vista," writes Joel Spolsky, a New York software developer, on his blog, "but seriously, is this the best you could come up with?"

It definitely didn't stem from this, but awhile back I decided that I won't be upgrading to Windows Vista for quite some time: Possibly not for a year or even more. Windows XP has been working just fine for me for almost five years now, with the fewest problems I've ever encountered from a Windows operating system. I don't see how my current productivity is going to be increased or improved upon by adopting Vista. And I would even go so far as to ask others to seriously consider whether it's worth the time and effort to change over to Vista from something already known to be pretty reliable.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

"It's like SYRIANA meets JURASSIC PARK": Review of Michael Crichton's NEXT

I was in the Wal-Mart Supercenter at around 10 o'clock on Wednesday night. It was just a short trip to get a few things and although I knew it would probably be a longshot, I checked out the book section to see if they had Orson Scott Card's new novel Empire, which just came out this week and I've heard a lot of raves about it. Empire wasn't there (I'll probably get it sometime this weekend though) but there was another book that caught my eye...

The barcode superimposed over the silhouetted monkey would have piqued my curiosity anyway, but the fact that it had "MICHAEL CRICHTON" printed in big red letters on the front cover certainly didn't hurt any either. I've been enjoying Crichton's stuff for about fifteen years now. Maybe over the holidays I'll check out State of Fear, which "Weird" Ed said was a whompin' good read. But I enjoyed Timeline and Prey plenty enough, so I figured this was worth a gamble. So without knowing anything else about the book other than what it read on the inside of the jacket, without even knowing that this book existed at all before finding it in Wal-Mart, I plunked down eighteen bucks and bought Next.

With each novel Crichton takes what subject matter that his interest is focused on at the moment, researches the hell out of it, then churns out a rollickin'-good story that's part techno-thriller and part cautionary tale. Crichton has run the gamut of topics over the year with animal behavior (Congo and The Lost World), quantum physics (Timeline), nano-technology (Prey), Japanese-American relations (Rising Sun), sexual harassment (Disclosure), and whatever it was that The Andromeda Strain was about in addition to being a damn scary story.

With Next, Crichton returns to the topic that he found huge success with in Jurassic Park: genetic engineering. But instead of being mostly a polemic against tinkering with DNA as Jurassic Park was, Next is instead about the ramifications that are coming with the industrial craziness of selling and patenting genes and other bodily tissue. That's what the book is "about", but Crichton usually uses one subject to spin into a confrontation on multiple fronts and Next is no exception. He makes us think about what it means to be in a world where your own DNA may be the legal property of somebody else, where companies plot to genetically emblazon the McDonald's logo on the shells of sea turtles and where "wet artists" are attempting to cook-up foot-long cockroaches for household pets. That's the stuff you definitely can't miss. But Next is also about how modern people are too susceptible to believing everything they read simply because they see it on television or the Internet (the book's running gag about blondes going extinct and the part where one character "plants" false data to be found on Google illustrates the point).

Next has so many multiple plotlines that it would seem you would lose track of them all, yet Crichton always keeps the story coherent and focused on the disparate stories until they ultimately find convergence. It's like Syriana meets Jurassic Park. Just as the tagline of last year's film Syriana was "Everything is connected", that could easily describe Next... even though the probability of all these plots dealing with corporate genetics overlapping with each other does take some suspension of disbelief. The dominant storyline involves Frank Burnet, a 51-year old cancer survivor whose body is discovered to be producing unique proteins that vigorously destroy cancerous cells. What Burnet didn't realize until it was too late was that he had unwittingly signed off on ownership of his protein-producing genes to his doctor, which then wound up in the possession of genetics research firm BioGen. Burnet loses his bid in court to regain legal ownership of the cell lines and BioGen is naturally exultant to have won against the $3 billion claim. But when Frank Burnet is found to have disappeared following the destruction of the cell lines in an act of sabotage - coupled with the mysterious vanishing of all the lines' backups and genetic data - BioGen brazenly assumes their legal ownership of Burnet's cells regardless of where they may be found. So it is that Burnet's daughter Alex and her young son Jamie become the prey of a bounty hunter hired by BioGen to track them down and have them biopsied.

That's one of the things that made Next so thrilling a read for me: I'm not saying here that Crichton is a "hack writer" at all, but his more techno-centric novels do tend to follow a pattern (i.e. Jurassic Park, Timeline and Prey). With Next, Crichton amply shows that he can dispense with his tried-and-true formula and still be on top of the game so far as this genre of fiction goes. In some ways I thought that Next was the most un-Crichton-ish of any of his novels that I've read. But the maddening mixture of true-life fact and what-if speculation in Next is definitely vintage Michael Crichton.

This may be the most wild assortment of characters that Crichton has ever jammed into a single novel. There is the typical entrepreneur who dances around matters of ethics that's found in most Crichton novels. The billionaire venture capitalist. The evangelical Christian geneticist who enjoys considerable political clout. A single-mother attorney. The unscrupulous hospital pathologist. An eco-anarchist. The researcher who's been investigating autism. A sixteen-year old girl caught using fertility drugs for bizarre purpose. A Sumatran jungle guide. A young scientist and his neer-do-well older brother... and their nosey mother. The security guard who enjoys looking at seventh-grade girls too much for his own good. Gerard: one of the best characters that Crichton has ever come up with. And Dave: a chimpanzee with unusual parentage, to say the least. All of these and more make for an off-the-map oddball Greek chorus in the tragi-comedy about genetic commercialism that is Next.

Next is a novel loaded with both horror and hilarity. There are some parts of the book that will positively keep you awake at night from fear. And there are others that had my wife hearing me hysterical with laughter from a few rooms away. Mostly frightening regarding the repercussions of commercial genetics, often funny, always educational and very entertaining, Next is one of the best novels that I've read in recent memory. It's one of Michael Crichton's better books... and that's saying quite a bit.

Next is absolutely recommended reading. A book well worth picking up now before waiting for the paperback to come out. And no doubt a lot better than the inevitable movie will be (though I think that Gerard would be a heck of a great character to see realized on the big screen).

Finally wrapping up the day

Heck of a good Friday (even though it's now early Saturday morning). Went to Greensboro to pick up some portraits that Lisa and I had made together. Later in the evening we drove to Eden and had dinner at King's Inn Pizza (some of the best pizza that you'll find anywhere) then we came back and I spent the rest of the night finishing up reading Michael Crichton's new novel Next. Will be posting a review shortly but all I gotta say about this book is: it's AWESOME!!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Message on a church sign

I spotted this a little while ago on the sign outside a church while driving back from Greensboro:
"Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes"
Thought that was well worth sharing :-)

Thursday, November 30, 2006

88 posts for the month of November 2006

I think that might be a record high. The election stuff definitely was the bulk of the articles posted here. I'm probably going to be "indexing" them for convenience sometime in the next week or so.

Ron Price appears in court: Round 1

The latest news from the ongoing scandal of elected school board candidate/admitted misdemeanor larceny offender Ron Price.

At 9 a.m. this morning Price showed up for his first court appearance in district court in Wentworth, stemming from his stealing the seven campaign signs from incumbent U.S. House candidate Brad Milller on the night before the election a few weeks ago. Based on reports I've received, not a whole lot happened. Price just had his attorney recognized by the court. He's next due to appear in court on January 25th: presumably then he'll have to answer to the charges.

So this doesn't change the fact that Price is probably going to be sworn in on December 11th... but without this thing having a quick resolution, it's going to be hanging around his neck like the proverbial dead albatross. And everyone is going to know it. He may legally have a seat, but Price definitely won't have the prestige and confidence from others that the rest of the candidates who were just elected will be enjoying. He's going to be a pariah and I really don't know if he's going to be able to make up for it. He should have pressed for a quick end to this thing. Instead it'll be hovering over his head every time he enters the school board meeting room.

As always, I'll post more on this story as it might develop. But with the next court date being January 25th it may be awhile...

SUPERMAN RETURNS: "Back to Krypton" concept art

I got the Superman Returns 2-disc Special Edition DVD on Tuesday afternoon. I absolutely love it: it's a great movie with an excellent transfer to DVD (although as I stated in my review of the movie back in July, Lex Luthor's plot in this movie is still the dumbest criminal plot of all time) and the extra features make this disc set well worth the price over the standard release. I especially liked all the deleted scenes - about fifteen minutes worth - that were included.

But I was very disappointed to find that the much-discussed "Return to Krypton" scene wasn't one of them. As you know if you've seen the film (and if you haven't seen it then you really really should 'cuz it's an awesome movie) Superman returns to Earth after being gone for five years while investigating what astronomers told him were the remains of his birth-world Krypton. Well, the scene where Superman arrived at what's left of Krypton was produced, but it didn't make the final cut of the movie. Hopefully we'll be able to see it someday in a director's cut or something.

But if you are aching to know what Superman's visit to the site of Krypton looks like, Ben Procter - one of the concept artists on Superman Returns - has posted some of the artwork for the "return to Krypton" sequence on his website. I wish more than ever that this scene had made it into the movie, 'cuz this would have truly been a staggering thing to behold on the big screen... and especially in an IMAX theater. Check this scene out of Superman's crystal ship arriving at the scene...

And look at this one. It sorta reminds me of the shattered Kilrathi homeworld you see at the beginning of Wing Commander: Prophecy...

There's plenty more where these came from, including a Quicktime video of some test footage with the ruins.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Review of STAR WARS: DARTH BANE: PATH OF DESTRUCTION


Darth Bane speaks with the voice of Clancy Brown. That's what I kept hearing in my head as I read Darth Bane: Path of Destruction by Drew Karpyshyn, the latest Star Wars novel. If George Lucas ever spends an episode or two of the upcoming Star Wars TV show delving into the ancient history of the saga, he absolutely must hire Clancy Brown to play Darth Bane... provided that he can get Brown to shave his head 'course. I just had to say that before I did anything else in this review because if you know the kind of characters that Clancy Brown has played (Kurgan in Highlander, Brother Justin on Carnivale, Kelvin on Lost, voicing Lex Luthor on Justice League just to name a few) that will totally have you "getting" the kind of character that Darth Bane is.

In the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace as we are "introduced for the first time" to the Sith, we are also told that there can be only two Sith at any one time: a master and an apprentice. Only if you had read the movie's novelization did you gain some more back-story on the Sith: it turned out that a thousand years ago the Sith were legion in number. But because of their own internecine struggles for power and the efforts of the Jedi and Republic, the Sith were almost completely wiped out... except for one. This last Sith realized the faults of the previous regime and re-created the cult so that ever afterward it would only persist in two individuals: one to hold the power and the other to lust after it.

The Sith Lord who re-established the order, according to the Episode I novel, called himself Darth Bane. It was Bane who first forged the ongoing chain of master-and-apprentice that would stretch across the millennium until it culminated in the one who would finally bring to fruition the revenge of the Sith: Darth Sidious.

We know how the Sith reign ultimately ended. And in the past few years we've had a few glimpses of Darth Bane's history (mostly through the Dark Horse comics). In Darth Bane: Path of Destruction we at last get the full story of how the Sith we've come to know and hate began in earnest, starting with the Sith Lord who's visual depictions have run anywhere from the powerful to the ridiculous (I'll never, ever forget that "cabbage head" thing from the very first released picture of Bane).

Darth Bane: Path of Destruction takes place one thousand years before the time of Emperor Palpatine: an era when the Sith were not two in number but thousands, if not millions. At this point in Star Wars history the Sith exist as perhaps a few hundred Force-users who owe their allegiance to the Dark Side, and who command a vast army of soldiers. The Sith are engaged in a galaxy-wide war for domination against the Republic and the Jedi that serve it. It's a conflict that is sapping countless star systems of both natural resources and young people who are being actively courted for recruitment by both sides.

Amid this chaos we find Dessel, a young miner of cortosis (a mineral so resilient it can stop even a lightsaber blade) on the desolate world of Apatros. Dessel has known nothing but misery and suffering all his life: first from a violent and abusive father and then the never-ending toil of working the cortosis mines. But rather than be broken by his situation, Dessel turns his loathing and rage inward, making them something he draws strength from. His afflictions harden his spirit just as the rough work and terrible conditions in the mines build him into an imposing physical figure.

After being temporarily relieved of duty in the mines following a savage fight with another worker, Dessel finds himself in a high-stakes game of Sabacc (a high-tech card came in the Star Wars universe that is something of a combination of blackjack and poker) with several Republic naval officers. Aided by his yet-discovered Force ability, Dessel wins the full pot... and finds himself ambushed by the bitter Republic personnel on his way back to the barracks. Dessel slays one in self-defense, but he knows the circumstance makes no difference: he's still looking at a stretch of hard labor in prison. Knowing that Dessel has nothing but contempt for the Republic – which is thought of as distant and indifferent toward the plight of those like the miners of Apatros – an acquaintance tells Dessel that if he wants to escape both prosecution and life on Apatros, he can be smuggled off-world and sent to join the Sith. Dessel sees that he has nothing to lose, and agrees.

A year later, Dessel is commanding a troop of Sith soldiers in a campaign against the Republic. When he commits mutiny by attacking and countermanding the orders of his superior – and displays more of his nascent talents with the Force – Dessel attracts the attention of the Dark Lords of the Sith order. Recognizing the enormous untapped potential in the young soldier, the Lords take Dessel to Korriban: the ancient homeworld of the Sith and location of the order's most high-level academy. His masters offer Dessel the opportunity to train under them and finally learn to use the Force to the maximum of his abilities. Dessel accepts, and casting off his old identity as a miner and soldier he chooses a new name, one taken from his father, who had often referred to Dessel as "the bane of my existence". And so, Bane of the Sith is born.

Bane soon throws himself more into his training than any other student at the academy. He is not only an apt pupil of the Sith masters, he spends much time in the academy's archive: studying ancient records and texts spanning the entire history of the Sith. Over time, Bane comes to realize that the Sith order that he is part of has strayed from the path of the true Sith. During the rest of the story – which involves rivalry with other students, an inter-cult battle for supremacy, and the galactic-wide war between the Jedi and the Sith – we watch as Bane searches not only for the heart of the Sith philosophy, but for his own identity and what he must be if he is truly to be dedicated to the Dark Side of the Force. By the end of the story, we can definitely see the Sith that we saw represented by Sidious, Maul and Vader come into being as Bane – who has at this point taken the long-proscribed title of "Darth" as his own – institutes the Rule of Two, having cleansed the corrupted "Sith order" and found his own apprentice.

Darth Bane: Path of Destruction reminds me an awful lot about the movie Conan the Barbarian. The central theme of that movie was the philosophy of Nietzsche: "That which does not kill me will only make me stronger". That certainly describes Dessel/Bane and the experiences that shape him from being a lowly blunt and vulgar miner into not only a formidable warrior but a leader with far-sighted wisdom. Throughout the novel we watch as Dessel is confronted with conflict, and is often beaten down and broken from it: sometimes viciously so. But from each defeat Bane comes back stronger, harder, more cunning... and more dedicated to the Dark Side. He takes the road less traveled from his fellow students, who trust their masters all too much. And in the end, when there is nothing else that he can learn from the "Sith" who took him in, Bane does with them as he has done with everything else in his life that has held him down: he casts them off and grinds them into the ground, having become a force too powerful to be contained by either other people or outdated dogma.

I liked Darth Bane: Path of Destruction a lot. I mean, a whole lot! For one thing, it's a well-structured story that proceeds at a brisk pace involving a wide variety of characters and locations... exactly as a Star Wars story should be. For another, even with last year's Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader in mind, this is the first novel to come out of the Star Wars saga that deals with things, for the most part, from the Sith perspective. I liked Dark Lord a lot but that book was far more devoted to Vader's initial struggles with his new Dark Side persona (and his costume) than it was to the Sith itself. Darth Bane: Path of Destruction is the first purely Sith book that's come out so far. I'm looking forward to reading many more (especially the forthcoming novel about Darth Plagueis that James Luceno is currently writing for publication in 2008). For a first-time Star Wars novelist, Drew Karpyshyn has done a remarkable job in adding an immense amount of rich material to the saga's mythos. He also uses a lot of pre-established stuff to wonderful effect here, like the origin of the "Darth" title and using some really wicked locations like Korriban and Rakata: both of which you would know if you ever played the Knights of the Old Republic videogames. But even if you've never played the games or have no other previous knowledge of Star Wars "ancient history", you won't get lost because of a lot of obscure back-story that it would be assumed you already know: Darth Bane: Path of Destruction is a wonderful enough read that you can readily comprehend even if this is your first time delving into the centuries prior to the rise of the Empire.

I think that Darth Bane: Path of Destruction also stands solidly alongside Timothy Zahn's Outbound Flight (read my review of that book here) as a novel that "reconciles" a lot of things that have been introduced into Star Wars lore but have otherwise conflicted with each other. This is a unique period that the saga is in right now, coming immediately on the heels of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, the final Star Wars movie to be produced. There are now some established limits in place on things that in the past few decades were left to conjecture: some of it wildly so (killer green space rabbits, Bela Lugosi as the Emperor, steam-powered starships, and sentient planets are some of the more... unusual elements to be thrown into the Star Wars mix). In Outbound Flight, Zahn "retconned-out" several problems that had arisen in continuity between his earlier Star Wars novels and the prequel trilogy. In Darth Bane: Path of Destruction Karpyshyn does just as magnificent a job at using his novel to reconcile the Sith as we understand them from the movies with the earlier incarnation of the Sith that was first introduced in the Tales of the Jedi comics that Dark Horse put out in the mid-Nineties. The fact that Karpyshyn was the writer for the amazing Star Wars role-playing game Knights of the Old Republic for Xbox and PC certainly helps matters here. Darth Bane: Path of Destruction stands as something like a "Book of Acts" for the Sith: bridging the gap between the "gospels" of Exar Kun, Naga Sadow, Darth Revan and the rest of the 4,000-years earlier period from the comics and videogames to the later stories involving Sidious and Vader.

My only big complaint with Darth Bane: Path of Destruction is that, for my tastes anyway, it figures in some things that I would have rather be left out of how the Star Wars saga is evolving post-prequels. The whole thing on the planet Ruusan could have been reworked, 'cuz that's mostly there to "work in" the central plot element from the computer game Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II... and I always thought that whole "Valley of the Jedi" thing was pretty hokey to begin with. It doesn't need canonizing like this. But Darth Bane: Path of Destruction has too much else good going for it to condemn the book on this point. So I'll overlook it the way I overlook everything else I don't agree with in the saga: by reminding myself that Star Wars is more than anything else a legend, and one as protean as the rest of them.

Darth Bane: Path of Destruction was nothing but a pure delight to read. Definitely one of the most satisfying additions to the Star Wars body of literature that I've ever taken the time to take in. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone else who's a Star Wars fan, and especially to those who find themselves more than a little infatuated with the Sith and all that other wonderfully wicked Dark Side stuff.

EDIT 11:45 PM EST: Earlier I mentioned Darth Bane having a "cabbage head". Well, here is the pic: the very first look we ever got at Darth Bane...

When we first saw this back in early 2000 or so, a lot of Star Wars fans assumed that Darth Bane is not human: maybe humanoid but not full human. It turned out that he is human after all. His "cabbage head" in his pic is actually a helmet that he comes to wear during the latter part of his life.

The story is this: Darth Bane wound up on the moon of Dxun and was attacked by barnacle-like parasitic creatures called orbalisks. The orbalisks attached themselves to Bane's body. In the end, Bane let the orbalisks keep sucking on his body's life energy while he used the orbalisks as very tough built-in body armor: a really sick symbiotic relationship. The helmet he's wearing keeps the orbalisks from spreading to where they cover his face and head (click on the pic at the left to see Darth Bane in his full orbalisk-covered glory).

The PREACHER is coming to HBO

Geez, am I conflicted about this one.

The Washington Post is reporting that HBO is now going to be making a television series based on DC's Vertigo comic Preacher (actually as dark as Preacher was it's probably better to call it a "graphic novel").

Preacher was never something that I really "got", but I read a few issues and I generally thought that the tone of the series was pretty unique and arresting. I thought its use of the old west motif was especially clever. It's just that a lot of how it tackled issues pertaining to the Christian faith didn't really appeal to me. Like, I really can't believe that God would just up and walk away from His creation simply because something went screwy with it (namely an angel and a demon copulating and having a child). Preacher's idea of Christianity never reflected my own at all... but if anyone else can read and enjoy the series without it negatively affecting their faith, I've no problem with that.

It's just that if HBO is going to make a series based on Preacher, why couldn't they have let Carnivale continue? No doubt a lot of people are going to be asking that in the days and weeks to come, given how much alike Preacher and Carnivale are to each other. I thought that show had an incredibly deep mythology that was never allowed to come into its own like it should have. It also had - and still has - a loyal following of fans that are hoping that HBO might yet let the story continue somehow (according to the show's producers, there are still two "books" of two seasons each that Carnivale had left to it, that would have brought the story to 1945). I'll check out Preacher when it premieres and decide from there whether to invest any more time watching it... but it just seems like the sensible thing that HBO should have done if they wanted to do something in this vein was just fund a third season of Carnivale and then have seen how things went from there.

Or if HBO really wants to impress on the comic book front, they should somehow snag the rights and produce a twelve-part adaptation of Watchmen: that's the ONLY way that story is ever going to be told on the screen and have it done justice.