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Sunday, March 11, 2007

Intro sequence from Star Wars: TIE Fighter

Star Wars: TIE Fighter came out in June of 1994. I'd been waiting months for its release: earlier that winter I'd bought the original Star Wars: X-Wing and played it like crazy on my then brand-new 486 25-mhz computer (with 4 megabytes of RAM and a 170 MB hard drive). Well on its release date I was at Babbage's in Four Seasons Mall right when they opened, plunked down the money and took it home, where I eagerly installed it (from like 6 DOS floppy disks). I spent the rest of the day blasting those bloody Rebels out of the sky, then I had to go to the seafood restaurant that I worked at. I think I spent five hours playing it after I got back from work that night.

Here's the first thing you'd see when you started the game. From the very first moments of this intro, I knew this would be one of my favorite video games of all time. Thirteen years later, it still is. Imagine: a game that lets you fight for the Empire... and let's you feel good about it too! Maybe someday LucasArts will make another good game like this that lets you give in to the Dark Side (The Force Unleashed sounds like it has potential). Anyway I found this a few days ago and thought it would be fun to post here...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Enzyte

Who the hell buys this stuff?

I've seen two Enzyte commercials twice in the past hour or so (which is two times too many). And I mean... seriously, who in the world could possibly be conned into paying good money for this?

I only started noticing the Enzyte commercials a few months ago when I was working at the TV station. We never ran the ads ourselves, but they were part of the packages with a number of syndicated programs that we did run, so I wound up seeing "Smilin' Bob" quite a bit. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Enzyte is claimed to be a "natural male enhancer" (i.e. it's supposed to drastically increase the size of male genitalia). In the ads for it a character named Bob - who has this perpetual Jack Nicholson "Joker" grin - is shown in all kinds of situations where it's implied that his penis size is a determining factor in business dealings, golf swings etc.

The syntax of the message being delivered here: big penis = good, small penis != good.

This is what our culture has deteriorated into: one that prides itself not on intellect and compassion, but on the size of its sex organs. And I'm not sorry for saying this, but any man who bases the belief that he's "not man enough" because of feeling inadequate about the size of his member... is an idiot. And he deserves to lose over fifty bucks a month for a supply of this new-wave snake oil.

Sigh...

I really can't begin to say how disgusted I am when I see stuff like this. Twenty years ago, nobody would have marketed something like Enzyte on nationwide television. Now it's everywhere. What does that say about our shallowness and gullibility... and our overall spiritual condition?

Friday, March 09, 2007

He's on a mission from God

27 years after Jake and Elwood did it, somebody has finally acted out in real life the mall scene from The Blues Brothers. Stephen Lowe of Augusta, Georgia drove his SUV plum through the glass doors of the Augusta Mall and drove all over the place inside the mall. He even did Jake and Elwood one better: Lowe drove on the top floor of the mall. See some amazing footage of his rampage here and here.

It must be reported though that Lowe's career ended spectacularly short of that of the Blues Brothers, as he was apprehended outside the mall soon after.

GO WOLFPACK!

Yee-haw!!! 85-80 over Duke in overtime in the first round of the ACC Tournament.

I'm just now finding out about this! I can't believe that I missed this game! AAAARRGGGHHHH...

Speaking of N.C. State, tomorrow is March 10th. That's my Dad's birthday. March 10th is also the birthday of Jim Valvano. He would have been 61 tomorrow. Can't believe it's been almost fourteen years already since he was taken from us. I can't tell you how many people I saw crying the day he died.

Goodness gracious: has it really been almost a quarter-century since that night in Albuquerque?

Valvano was one of my heroes. And he still is. This excerpt from his speech at the ESPY Awards - just two short months before he died - shows some of why that is...

"When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."
And because this seems to be as good a time as any, here's something I found just the other day...

But lest we forget:

"Trees will tap dance, elephants will ride in the Indianapolis 500, and Orson Welles will skip breakfast, lunch and dinner before State finds a way to beat Houston."

-- Dave Kindred in The Washington Post on Monday, April 3rd, 1983

And then that night:

CONFIRMED: Rorschach is REALLY gazing back in new 300 trailer!

It's probably gonna be the biggest geek story of the week and Ain't It Cool News is verifying it this morning: 1 minute and 52 seconds into this extended trailer for 300, the following image appears VERY briefly (this pic is from a cap I took and it took a bit to nail it down)...

After all these years of saying it couldn't be done... and even that it shouldn't be done...

I guess nothing is impossible: there really is going to be a Watchmen movie. There's the proof staring right back at us: Rorschach. In the flesh. Looking exactly as he does in the graphic novel. Not only that but click-on this high-res still (which also came from Ain't It Cool News)...

Rorschach is holding the Comedian's blood-stained smiley-face button, just as he's depicted doing in the first few pages of Watchmen.

This is really... well, quite astonishing. I really don't know what else to say. I wasn't quite 16 years old when I first read Watchmen and it completely blew me away. Watchmen is easily on my personal top ten list of favorite books of all time (with Number One being the Holy Bible and Number Two being The Lord of the Rings, Watchmen probably ranks ninth or tenth... but that's still good). I've probably read that book at least 20 or 30 times over the years. And from the very beginning, I have always wondered, more than anything else from this book: "what would Rorschach look like in a live-action movie?"

Well, there he is: "the abyss gazes also..." Now I just have to wonder about who in the world is going to play this psycho.

"And starring Eddie Murphy as Tattoo!"

Dear Lord, when it rains it pours...

This has been one crap-tacular weak on the pop culture front. First it's Captain America getting killed off. Then we hear that a film version of Gump and Company (the loathsome sequel to the novel Forrest Gump) is in the works.

Now this: Eddie Murphy will star in a movie remake of Fantasy Island.

For those of you who may have only come of age in the 90s or this decade, Fantasy Island ran from 1978 until 1984 and was ABC's original series about an island somewhere in the Pacific where weird stuff happened. In the case of Fantasy Island though, people willingly came to the place on "de plane! de plane!" and they ummmm... had their fantasies come true. Even as a little kid, I remember this show being odd as hell. It starred Ricardo "Co-reeen-thee-an leather" Montalban (yes Khan himself) as Mr. Roarke, the guy in the white suit who ran the island, and Hervé Villechaize as midget sidekick Tattoo (Villechaize also played Nick Nack in The Man With the Golden Gun). Knowing Eddie Murphy flicks like I do, Murphy will probably be playing Roarke, Tattoo, all the island's guests, the hula dancing girls, the plane's pilot...

Well I guess there are worse things that could happen. It could have been The Love Boat directed by Wolfgang Petersen and featuring Briney Spears as Charo.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Finally an (almost) complete set of Harry Potter

There's a book fair going on at my wife's school this week. She bought a few things from it and brought them home. Chief among them is this hardcover copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets:

This needs some 'splainin' about why this is a big thing for me. The first Harry Potter book I bought was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire back in June of 2000, right after it had been released. I figured at the time that as fast as it was going, it might be nice to have a first edition for a collector's item. I didn't read it then though. A few months later I bought a paperback copy of the first book in the series, started to read it and then dropped it: seemed kinda boring at the time. Then about six months after that I decided to see what the big fuss was about, made myself plow through Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone... and thoroughly loved it! So then I bought a paperback of the next book: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Then I bought the hardback of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while visiting Lisa on the 4th of July in 2001. I read that and finally started reading Goblet of Fire around Christmas of that year. The two books that followed, I bought the hardcovers when they went on sale at midnight on their publications dates.

And going back to Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone: I bought a hardcover of that when I was in Indianapolis for Star Wars Celebration II in 2002. I ran out of the convention center to the B. Dalton's down the street, got it and brought it back so that I could get it autographed by Warwick Davis (who plays Flitwick in the movies), as a graduation present for Lisa.

What this all means is that eventually, we wound up with hardcover editions of all the Harry Potter books except for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. And it's bugged me to no end that there was that hole in the series as they sat on our bookshelves.

After today, that's no more. Behold the entire series to date of hardcover Harry Potter books:

It will become a complete set this coming July, when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - the final book in the series - gets published. And then we will have all of the Harry Potter books that we can show off and cherish and someday read to our children from.

Now if only there could be nine Star Wars movies sitting on my DVD shelf...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Cursory reaction to tonight's LOST

I'm going to have to watch this again but...

WOW!!!

The mythology is definitely developing further, although this episode - titled "Enter 77" - seemed to ask as many questions as it answered.

Will try to be as spoiler-free as I can here: notice how that's now two of those things that Locke has managed to destroy?

May post some more thoughts tomorrow, after watching it again.

FORREST GUMP 2 ?!? Dear Lord, spare us this...

Works has begun on a sequel to the 1994 movie Forrest Gump.

Presumably it's going to be based on Gump and Company, Winston Groom's sequel to his original novel Forrest Gump.

I'm probably one of the few who will actually admit to reading Gump and Company and let's just say that... it wasn't good. The most ridiculous part was when Forrest and Lieutenant Dan commandeer a tank during the Gulf War, drive all the way to Baghdad and capture Saddam Hussein. That comes after Forrest invents New Coke, steers the Exxon Valdez into the rocks and gets involved with the Jim and Tammy Bakker scandal.

Like I said: it wasn't good.

Marvel Universe: Maybe it's time for a reboot?

Geoff made this comment on the post about Captain America getting killed in the Marvel Comics...
"Marvel is a crazy universe. I can't believe the did this."
Me neither, Geoff. But it does lend some validity to something I've been thinking for awhile, about the Marvel Comics universe...

It's this "moving time" principle by which Marvel establishes that all of its comics are canon, even though most of them now contradict real-world stuff. I mean, it's like Tony Stark was originally wounded in Vietnam and that's what led him to become Iron Man. The thing of it is it's 2007 and Stark would now have to be, what in his sixties-seventies by now, if he started then? The Fantastic Four's fateful spacelaunch happened because America had to beat "the commies" - as Susan Storm put it - into space. See where the problem there is?

Well, the thing of it is, Captain America is firmly established as a product of World War II. So is Nick Fury. And with more and more years that pass by, well... it's really starting to stretch belief that these guys, even with the Super Soldier Serum and the Infinity Formula would still be fighting the good fight. There's a few other things mucking-up Marvel's moving timeline, but World War II is the big kahuna of them.

So, maybe it is good and proper that Captain America die now. And let him stay dead.

And maybe along with him, Marvel can do something drastic to make these stories last forever, instead of creeping into obsolescence.

So here's my proposal: with Captain America, and the events of the Civil War, let the Marvel Universe as we have come to know and love it... have it stop. Right here. In 2007. Make that the new immovable date in Marvel history. Everything that has happened in the Marvel Universe, let it be reckoned as happening between World War II and 2007.

And then, reboot... or perhaps "reboost" would be a better way to put it... the entire shebang.

No, I'm not talking about something like the Ultimates line (which put me off with that ridiculous "Ga Lak Tus" thing). I mean something more daring... and the more I think about it, more right.

Marvel should start every character in the Marvel Universe as they are now, and then, year by year, chronlogically age them as they would in real life, if their lives really did start at 2007 and proceeded forth.

Yes, I mean let's see them grow. Let's see them age. Let's see them meet all the challenges that come with those things. And then, one by one, let them die.

If Peter Parker were a real person and he was 15 years old in 1962 when Spider-Man first appeared, he would be sixty years old now. Personally, I think an older, wiser Spider-Man would be a wonderful thing to behold. Peter Parker is the paragon of everything that is good and noble about human character and determination. But for him to mean anything as a symbol for us... well, he has to be like us. With all the weaknesses and frailties that come with living a life bereft of things like whole-body cloning and whatnot.

Whether at the hands of one of his enemies, or from illness, Peter Parker should be given the chance to die like the rest of us. All of these characters should. Because that's what it's going to take if they're meant to persist as metaphors for everything that is good, and bad, about humanity.

If Marvel is wise, they will do this. Start a long-term strategy where the characters from this point on will age chronlogically alongside real time. And one by one, let them go into that long twilight.

But as they go, introduce new characters to take up the mantle after them.

Let some new kid pick up the shield and go forth in Captain America's name. Give Spider-Man a child who inherits Parker's abilities. Let there be a new Fantastic Four led by Franklin Richards... with his daddy Reed advising the team as "leader emeritus". As for Hulk: he might be one of the few characters who could persist for some time, what with his gamma-enhanced biology. The same with Wolverine. The fun thing about those guys is that they are going to live a long, long time: well, let's see how they adapt to the changing times and let them be a "cipher" through which we come to see the world around us in the way that only comics can do.

I don't think that this would mean the end of the "classic characters". Not by a longshot. Marvel can still publish stories set within the 1941-2007 timeframe, and this would give them a chance to re-interpret a lot of those pre-existing stories so that very messy thing called Marvel continuity could finally get the cleanup it's been screaming about for ages.

(Hey who knows: maybe in long-term Marvel canon, the "clone saga" really didn't happen after all.)

I really doubt the honchos at Marvel are going to follow through with something like this though. But that's how I would manage things if I were editor-in-chief over there. Use Captain America's death (assuming he stays dead) as an opportunity for some much-needed growth against rising graphic stagnancy.

If nothing else, think of this: the X-Men would die. And they would remain dead... forever!

Captain America has been assassinated!

Breaking on news outlets everywhere now. Cap had just surrendered after the events of Marvel Comics' Civil War #7 and was being taken into a courthouse when he was shot and killed by an unidentified assailant.

I say: if he's dead, let him stay dead. Let his death have meaning. 'Course this being Marvel Comics, it's probably only a matter of time before Doctor Strange does some mystical hoodoo and not only resurrects Cap, but mind-wipes everyone on the planet into forgetting that Civil War took place, that Spider-Man unmasked himself, will make Mar-Vell dead again too etc...

LOST tonight promises to be one of the best ever

On the November 1st episode of Lost - titled "The Cost of Living" - Locke led some of the castaways back to the Pearl Station, hoping to use the equipment there to locate Jack, Kate and Sawyer. While Sayid was playing around with the electronics of the video feed, this man appeared on one of the monitors before abruptly disabling his camera...

Who is this guy? For some reason he's become one of the most intriguing mysteries to me about this show. Well we're supposed to find out who he is in tonight's episode, called "Enter 77". And I've heard that's just one thing that this episode is supposed to have in it. Word is that we're gonna find out a lot more about DHARMA and the Others and how they relate to each other, we finally get to see the Flame Station (which was referenced on the blast-door map that Locke briefly saw), yet another "orientation" film with the Asian guy is shown, and Ms. Klugh is said to be in this one too. Throw in Mira Furlan (always a pleasure to watch) as Danielle Rousseau and the fact that this episode is Sayid-centric and it sounds like one toad-strangler of an hour tonight (and I very rarely say that about anything on television).

Speaking of Lost, I've been working on a theory about what may be going on in this story that, though it doesn't explain everything, in my mind it seems pretty plausible and so far as I know, nobody has suggested this one yet. I'm going to watch tonight's episode, reflect some on it and probably post it in the next few days or so :-)

France bans citizen journalists from reporting violence

I was in France years ago. It's a nice place that gets too much of a bad rap: I found the people to be quite friendly (and the food there is delicious). But when they screw up... maaaaan can they do it bigtime. The French government has made it illegal for anyone other than "professional journalists" to video or otherwise document acts of violence.

First of all, what the hell is a "professional journalist"? Journalism isn't something you're supposed to have a license to practice. You don't even need a formal education to be one. Just go out and find stuff and then share what you got with others. It can be either something you do full-time for pay or something you simply do for the love and passion of it (which is what I'm doing presently).

Smells about time that them French peoples have another revolution, if they're letting stuff like this happen. But then I remember that the U.S. Congress has recently attempted to force bloggers in this country to register as "lobbyists" with the federal government.

Someone explain to me again how it is that we're supposed to be better than the old hard-line Soviets.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Physics laws that Hollywood ignores

Neatorama has a list of 9 laws of physics that are routinely ignored by producers of motion pictures. Among the conveniently forgotten concepts: bullets don't spark when they hit metal, cars don't usually explode and sound doesn't move at the speed of light.

This article has inspired me to make all my future movies adhere to physical principles. Which will probably significantly drop the number of people who will want to watch them, but hey you gotta stick to principles...

Monday, March 05, 2007

Stomach-turning testimony about Walter Reed makes me wonder...

I just saw about this on the evening news. Here's the link to a story about it.

Here's what I can't help but wonder: after all these years, the U.S. government is just now coming to find out about the HORRIBLE conditions in military hospitals?!

I was hearing bad stories about those places when I was like 5 years old, and have only heard more of the same over the years.

I agree with what expert witness Annette McLeod told the House panel today: if these men and women are going to sacrifice years of their time - and maybe even a lot more - in the service of this country, then they deserve better. Much better.

I'm sorry, I just can't comprehend how come this hasn't been addressed a long time ago already.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Finally watched THE PRESTIGE

The Prestige is a movie that I really wanted to see when it came out but I was too wrapped up in my school board campaign to do so at the time. It's just come out on DVD and it arrived at our place via Netflix a few days ago. So tonight Lisa and I put it in and checked it out...

Man, I can't remember when was the last time I saw a movie that I just had to watch again. I'll probably watch it at least two more times before it goes back into the mail.

The Prestige, directed by Christopher Nolan (from a script he co-wrote with his brother Jonathan based on a novel by Christopher Priest) is about the bitter rivalry between two magicians at the turn of the twentieth century. Alfred Borden (played by Christian Bale, who was also in Nolan's Batman Begins) and Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman aka Wolverine from the X-Men movies among other things) start out as friends who work as "ringers" for a veteran magician. Then during one night's performance something goes horribly wrong with an act and Angier's wife is killed. Angier blames Borden for what happened. That's all I really want to say because The Prestige really is a movie that someone should go in fairly unawares on.

I really, really liked this movie. Period pieces are a big thing for me and in that regard alone, The Prestige shines. The fact that it throws in a few things from real-life history definitely doesn't hurt either. Speaking of which, David Bowie does an excellent job portraying Nikola Tesla, and there's plenty of touching-on the very real rivalry (which I thought mirrored the one between Borden and Angier) between Tesla and Thomas Edison at work in the movie. The Prestige also stars Michael Caine and Scarlett Johansson... which is the very first time I've ever seen Johansson in a movie or anything else for that matter (does that show how out-of-touch I've become with a lot of pop-culture things or what?)

Very enthralling, oftentimes horrifying and thoroughly entertaining, The Prestige is recommended viewing not once, but twice. Maybe even three or four times. The only real question is: "Are you watching closely?"

News & Record runs article on SCHRODINGER'S BEDROOM

From what I'm hearing, the calls to those who made it to the second tier of the On The Lot competition have already gone out. I won't be going any further with this season's contest, 'cuz The Call(tm) hasn't come here. But it was fun to have at least tried... and to have put together a movie like this so fast.

Anyway, the News & Record, which is the big newspaper around here, ran a story about my entry Schrodinger's Bedroom in the Rockingham section of the paper. It's not up on their website so I transcribed it here:


A couple, a room, a hopeful director

- Chris Knight hopes his short film gets him chosen to be on a reality TV show.

BY GERALD WITT
Staff Writer

REIDSVILLE – Dead cats, quantum physics and newlyweds thread into a short film that was shot, written and directed here as a contest entry for a reality show.

Christopher Knight, of Reidsville, made it for Fox's "On The Lot," in which 16 directors work to win a $1 million development deal from DreamWorks studio.

Right now, Knight is among thousands of entrants for the show.

The 32-year old former technician at WGSR hopes people will visit its Web site and see his film and that he'll be among the finalists.

Knight's short, "Schrodinger's Bedroom," is a comedy based on an experiment by Erwin Schrodinger, a German physicist and colleague of Albert Einstein.

Called "Schrodinger's Cat," the experiment uses a cat to help explain the atoms often used in quantum physics theories.

In the experiment – which occurs in thinking, not reality – a cat in a closed box dies from poison if a radioactive atom in that box breaks down. The cat could be alive or dead, but there's no telling unless someone opens the box and sees the cat.

Anything could be happening in there, the experiment is supposed to prove, because two universes are happening in the box – one with a dead cat, one with a living cat – like atoms in an experiment.

No cats really die in the experiment, nor in Knight's movie, where he replaced that box with a bedroom and the cat with newlyweds.

As the movie says, anything could be happening in a closed bedroom with newlyweds.

He got the idea after moving into a new apartment with his wife in May. A friend helping them out joked that everyone who helped knew what was happening in the Knight bedroom.

Knight made the film in January after friends urged him to enter the contest.

"According to 'Schrodinger's Cat,' everything and nothing could be happening in there," Knight said.

Starting around 7 p.m. one day, Knight wrote the script on that idea.

He finished writing at 4:30 the next morning.

He shot footage around Reidsville, in a downtown restaurant and at the YMCA. He paid the cast nothing but had them sign a contract.

"If I end up winning a million-dollar contract," he said, "I'm going to pay everyone at least $1,000."

He heard this week that calls for finalists have already gone out, but he said he doesn't expect one from among thousands of entries.

"On The Lot" should begin airing in May.

"There's always other projects to move on," he said.

Hey, at least the film might have a good second life.

"If some physics teachers want a copy of this," Knight said, "I'll get a DVD to them."

Contact Gerald Witt at 627-4881, Ext. 120, or gwitt@news-record.com


And they also printed the link to the movie along with the article. I've noticed that it's picked up a number of more viewers than what it's been averaging lately already... so hopefully more folks in Rockingham County are checking this out :-)