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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Tonight on HBO: the last ROME ever!

The adventures of Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo wind down tonight when, after only two seasons, HBO airs the final episode of Rome. Guess it was only natural: the past few episodes have been about the rise to power of Octavian and things were pretty peaceful in the empire after he took over. But still, I've been loving this show since the very beginning, and this is gonna be one heckuva void to fill when it comes to quality television.

So, long live Rome. And for the last time: "Thirteenth!"

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Hugo Weaving is the voice of Megatron in TRANSFORMERS

Whoa. Never saw THAT one coming.I don't think anyone can ever really replace Frank Welker's long stretch as the Decepticon's leader. For those of us who grew up in the 80s, well... Welker's and Chris Latta's were the voices of pure diabolical evil. Sadly both are no longer with us. We will still have Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime though.

But the more I think about it, the more I'm liking the idea of Hugo Weaving doing speech for the Megster.

EDIT 6:17 PM EST: Geoff Gentry just told me that Frank Welker has NOT gone to the great beyond, as was previously reported. Bad, bad mistake on my part. Guess it was late and I was thinking too much about how it's Chris Latta who has passed on (he was the voice of Starscream, as well as Cobra Commander on the G.I. Joe cartoon). Nice to know that Welker is still active.

How about we retain Welker's voice as Megatron and use Weaving's for Starscream?

Friday, March 23, 2007

Florida city will seize your home over a $5 parking ticket (and my e-mail to them)

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting much "heavy" stuff of late here. There are several reasons for that. Not the least of which is that I've been playing around with a new blog: one that's going to be completely dedicated to something that's absolutely serious. Stuff like what I'm posting about now is going to be going there when it's ready (and I'll just make links to them from here when I post on there so both of my loyal readers can find them). But in the meantime...

The city council of Brooksville, Florida has voted this week to foreclose on the houses of people who don't pay their parking tickets. Yes you read that right: don't pay a $5 parking ticket and the town of Brooksville will kick you out of house and home. Here's the full story:

Florida: City to Seize Homes Over a $5 Parking Ticket
Brooksville, Florida proposes to foreclose homes and seize cars over less than $20 in parking tickets.

The city council in Brooksville, Florida voted this week to advance a proposal granting city officials the authority to place liens and foreclose on the homes of motorists accused of failing to pay a single $5 parking ticket. Non-homeowners face having their vehicles seized if accused of not paying three parking offenses.

According to the proposed ordinance, a vehicle owner must pay a parking fine within 72 hours if a meter maid claims his automobile was improperly parked, incurring tickets worth between $5 and $250. Failure to pay this amount results in the assessment of a fifty-percent "late fee." After seven days, the city will place a lien on the car owner's home for the amount of the ticket plus late fees, attorney fees and an extra $15 fine. The fees quickly turn a $5 ticket into a debt worth several hundred dollars, growing at a one-percent per month interest rate. The ordinance does not require the city to provide notice to the homeowner at any point so that after ninety days elapse, the city will foreclose. If the motorist does not own a home, it will seize his vehicle after the failure to pay three parking tickets.

Any motorist who believes a parking ticket may have been improperly issued must first pay a $250 "appeal fee" within seven days to have the case heard by a contract employee of the city. This employee will determine whether the city should keep the appeal fee, plus the cost of the ticket and late fees, or find the motorist not guilty. Council members postponed a decision on whether to reduce this appeal fee until final adoption of the measure which is expected in the first week of April.

This is a crazier scam than the red-light cameras ever were.

It honked me off enough when I read this, that I just now fired off the following e-mail to the entire City Council of Brooksville, Florida:

From: Chris Knight (theknightshift@gmail.com)
To: dpugh@ci.brooksville.fl.us,
fburnett@ci.brooksville.fl.us, jbernardini@ci.brooksville.fl.us, lbradburn@ci.brooksville.fl.us, rlewis@ci.brooksville.fl.us
Subject:Voting to seize homes over $5 parking tickets

Dear members of the City Council of Brooksville, Florida:

Claire Wolfe wrote some years ago that "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."

By voting to seize the homes of people who don't pay a $5 parking ticket, you are making it "that time" more than you realize.

Just a friendly word of caution from someone who has spent his life studying history.

sincerely,
Chris Knight
Reidsville, North Carolina

p.s.: your website is an eyesore.
p.p.s.: I sure as hell will never spend any of my money in your town if I were to visit Florida.

It probably won't do any good: these people and too many others are a little too drunk on their own power. They're past the point of rational thinking.

Maybe it's time for a good ol'-fashioned tar-and-feathering?

Ever seen a 248-dimensional object?

You have now...
Here's the story about what this... thing... is:
This is a 2-dimensional projection of E8, a 248-dimensional object seen here simplified into only 8-dimensions to help preserve sanity. Essentially, if I understand it correctly, it’s like a 2-D shadow of a 248-D sphere, an object so symmetrical you could theoretically rotate it in any direction in up to 248 dimensions and it still appear the same. Talk about a stick in the mud. It took 18 mathematicians four years to produce the calculation for this object, its formula weighing in at 60 gigabytes. The computation was announced at MIT by David Vogan this Monday, the 19th of March, 2007.
So it took four years for 18 mathematicians to come up with... something that looks like it was made with an old Spirograph set?

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this one, folks. Here's a page that has a lot more about it though.

Chris Daughtry live in concert tonight in Greensboro... FOR FREE!

Yes you read that right ('course if you are reading this now then it's way too late to get there probably): Chris Daughtry and his band performing live at Hamburger Square in downtown Greensboro, in an absolutely free concert.

We tried getting in tonight but the place is absolutely nuts! Probably 20,000 people in there, and they've been gathering there since early this morning. Lisa and I opted not to try to get in, but have vowed to see him in concert eventually.

(I have an awesome record of making good on promises to see singing artists in concert, by the way: ask me my story about "Weird Al" Yankovic sometime, if I haven't already shared it here :-)

Anyways this whole area is quite proud of Chris Daughtry, so it's a good thing to memorialize about here anyway, even if we aren't there.

Was Harry Houdini poisoned?

His family wants to exhume his body to see if the great magician was actually murdered.

Wouldn't it be funny if they went and got his casket out and opened it up... and Houdini wasn't there?

(I know, bad joke :-)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

"I love you for loving me! Goodbye!"

You might have heard the sad news already: it was reported last night that Calvert DeForest... who will forever be known as that lovable oddball Larry "Bud" Melman on the original Late Night with David Letterman (NBC wouldn't let him keep the Melman name when the show moved to CBS)... has died at the age of 85.

Whether he was Larry Melman on the NBC show or Calvert DeForest at CBS, he was definitely a unique and memorable personality. Usually he'd be put in some weird situation as a Late Night/Late Show correspondent (remember him doing the 1994 Winter Olympics in Norway?) and proceed to act confused and flub lines... usually with the cue cards right in front of him too.

Melman was on the very first edition of Late Night that I saw (it was like 1986, four years after Letterman started his show at NBC). I watched him quite a few times over the years at NBC and then when the show moved to CBS. He did a lot of hilarious stuff. But the one thing that I'll always remember Calvert DeForest for was his very last appearance using the Larry "Bud" Melman name, on the final Late Night show on NBC in June 1993: Melman strode out onto the stage. He then yelled at the top of his lungs "I love you for loving me! Goodbye!" and then walked off. The next time we saw him he was Calvert DeForest in a tuxedo standing in the pupil of the CBS eye a few months later when Letterman's Late Show premiered: "This is CBS!" he bellowed.

Well, for people my age who remember David Letterman's original NBC show, he'll definitely be missed. In his honor, here's one of DeForest's early appearances as Larry Melman on a 1983 installment of Late Night, handing out hot towels to people stepping off the buses at the New York Port Authority...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Tonight's LOST: HOLY %&@# !!!

Best. Lost. Ever.

That was more stuff happening in the first fifteen minutes of "The Man from Tallahassee" than what happened in the past three episodes put together. And then this episode really brought it on.

That was just... geez Louise, I really don't know what more to say about this. It was six flavors of crazy with sprinkles on top. If this one episode doesn't mark Lost as the best show on TV right now, I don't know what it'll take.

It has to at least be said that Terry O'Quinn is perhaps the best actor on TV, anyway. This was the best Locke-centric episode yet and O'Quinn poured everything into tonight's performance. That last flashback scene was especially powerful.

Brace yourself: remember the end of last week's episode, the "football scene"? You know how that one blew our minds? If you haven't watched "The Man from Tallahassee" yet, you ain't seen nuthin'...

I couldn't help it

After swearing that I'd never do it again, I fell off the wagon tonight.

Dear lord, will this madness ever stop?

I couldn't help myself. It just happened.

We were flicking through the high-def channels and I wound up on UNC-TV, the state's PBS system. And they were doing their annual "Festival" pledge drive. The moment I saw that 800 number, my lips quivered and my hands started shaking.

Lisa couldn't stop me. I ran to the phone, and I... did it.

After all these years, I still can't stop doing it.

I picked up the phone and dialed the toll-free number. A nice lady answered and asked would I like to make a pledge to support public broadcasting. I told her "yes".

Then I told her that I would like to pledge $10,000...

...but only if PBS brought back the old Doctor Who reruns.

Then I hung up.

This has been going on FOR ELEVEN YEARS NOW! Somebody please, make it stop make it stop make it stop!!

Has AMERICAN IDOL finally jumped the shark?

A little while ago I got to watch last night's American Idol (ain't DVR the greatest gadget ever?). This hasn't been the best season of Idol. Truth be known, apart from three singers in this year's bunch, it's been pretty boring. I've wondered - and quite a few times I should note - whether it's possible that American Idol has, at last, jumped the shark.

Last night's show might have been it. In case you haven't heard about it already, this is Ashley:

Starting with Sanjaya Malakar, the camera kept focusing on this girl who was sitting toward the front of the audienc, and she was crying like crazy. It happened so much that I seriously wondered, and even said this to my wife, if she was a "plant": someone put there by the producers for the show value. I mean, we're talking about this girl getting roughly the same amount of camera time that Sanjaya had whie he was onstage singing. And how did the producers know exactly where to find this girl, out of all those people?

Well, it turns out that as for whether she was a plant or not, the answer is: "kinda, yeah". Here's the story from the Los Angeles Times:

First things first: Who was the crying girl? After the show, I chatted with Idol's newest superstar, the crying girl, Ashley Ferl, aged 13, from Riverside. For some long minutes after the show, Ashley remained in a state of inconsolable sobbing, unable to choke out a single word. However, through an interpreter (her mother) we were eventually able to learn some facts about the young superstar.

The family, I was told, obtained tickets on a website to attend a taping of "Smarter Than a 5th Grader" a day passage that included not just the taping of the show itself, but also the dress rehearsal of either "Grader" or "Idol." The fates were kind, and the mother and daughter found their way to the "Idol" rehearsal, where Ashley’s waterworks began. Her prowess was quickly brought to the attention of "Idol" producers who summoned the clan to a ringside seat of honor at the final taping.

Her powers of speech slowly returning, Ashley revealed that while she was on stage she had been thinking that "this was the coolest thing ever." Asked whom she was supporting in the competition she named "Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin" as her picks, refusing to narrow her vote down to a single choice. All my journalistic powers of persuasion, cajoling, bullying and insistence that on her vote might turn the entire competition, that "Listen to reason, young Ferl, there can't be four American Idols," would not convince her to name a single favorite. To my every argument, she would only repeat her mantra, "All Four: Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin." And so the race begins in earnest, with tears at every step of the way.

So Ashley was not someone that the Fox suits intended to be a plant (look it's happened before, it was reasonable to be suspicious) but she was very much overwhelmed by the experience of being there during a live American Idol show and the Fox execs played it to the hilt. Probably without her knowing it. Which if Ashley is fine with it, it's fine with me. But it does seem like a rather tacky move on the part of Fox to exploit a thirteen-year old girl's emotions like that.

Was this attention to Ashley done in an attempt to influence the voting? I have to wonder about that too. However it is, I don't know if this show really has that kind of allure for me anymore. Last year's competition that produced Taylor Hicks and Chris Daughtry (among others) seems more and more like the high-water mark of American Idol, that will never be equalled. This latest thing just impresses in my mind all the more that this show can't ever be that good again.

Was last night when American Idol finally jumped the shark? Time will tell...

Thy king-dumb come: Left Behind finally ending

Two weeks from now will find closure coming to something that should have ended a long, long time ago. Kingdom Come, purportedly the LAST installment of the Left Behind series of novels, comes out on April 3rd.

These books have done absolutely nothing positive for Christianity. They've scared a lot of people into professing Christ as their lord and savior. Unfortunately a relationship with Christ has to be built on something more than fear. Being a Christian isn't supposed to be something you embrace as "fire insurance" against Hell: there's more to it than that. This is something you do because you realize that on your own, you really don't have meaning or purpose. Being a witness for Christ means showing others the work that God is completing in our lives. It doesn't mean scaring people: there's no spiritual growth possible when fear is made out to be the biggest motivation for seeking God.

That aside, this series started out fairly good... before it became a joke. It's just too damn long for one thing. As I've noted before (in a now-classic rant against Left Behind), Stephen King only needed seven books for his Dark Tower saga, and when the final book comes out this summer the Harry Potter series will likewise number seven in all. Left Behind is going to be sixteen full-length novels: more than The Dark Tower and Harry Potter combined. Seven books would have been plenty: one for each year of the Tribulation. And maybe one wrapping up a thousand years later like Kingdom Come is going to be (but even that might be overkill).

For another thing, Left Behind really has become too much of a franchise: something driven more by money than an earnest desire to serve God. I mean, a Left Behind video game...? There's also the comic books, a HORRIBLY-produced movie ("It's like The Day of the Jackal as conceived by Ned Flanders..."), I haven't seen them yet but I hear that action figures are floating around out there somewhere. A friend told me just yesterday that Left Behind, while something that's supposed to be apart from this world, has become too much like the world.

Dear lord... Left Behind has become a bloated whore.

Well, in two weeks it'll finally come to a conclusion. I might get a copy, if nothing else than to post a review here. And also 'cuz I've read the twelve "core" books (but not the prequels) so I guess I do have a morbid curiosity about how this all ends.

But before Kingdom Come is published the week after next, there's something you should know. This is Kingdom Come, the Left Behind novel written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins:

And this is Kingdom Come, the classic DC Comics graphic novel by Mark Waid and Alex Ross:

Both are about the Book of Revelation, so please don't confuse the two!

By the way, that's Absolute Kingdom Come, the 10th anniversary edition of the book that DC published last year. It costs $75. Kingdom Come the Left Behind finale is sixteen bucks on Amazon. Guess which one I would recommend to be the better deal. I mean c'mon...

On the left is Nicolae Carpathia from Left Behind: the biblical Antichrist himself. On the right is Magog from DC's Kingdom Come: the man who made Superman run away and hide.

Who do you think is cooler?

Tonight on LOST: "The Man from Tallahassee"

John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) had been paralyzed from the waist down for at least two years prior to boarding Oceanic Flight 815 bound from Sydney to Los Angeles. He was brought onto the plane in a wheelchair.

Then Flight 815 crashed on the island. And when he regained consciousness, Locke discovered that he could walk again.

It's one of the biggest mysteries thus far on Lost: what happened that put John Locke in the wheelchair. Tonight's episode, "The Man from Tallahassee", is set to reveal how Locke was paralyzed. I've been wondering since Hurley's episode in Season 1 if that was Locke that we saw falling past the window at the accountant's office. However it happened, we'll find out tonight. And maybe we'll also get to see what the heck was going on with that absolutely jaw-dropping cliffhanger from last week's episode (you know: the football game).

How to deal with anonymous cowards on the Internet

Found this article at The State's website:
Internet's anonymity leads to nasty comments

By JOCELYN NOVECK
The Associated Press

When a California woman recently gave birth to a healthy baby just two days after learning she was pregnant, the sudden change to her life was challenging enough. What April Branum definitely didn't need was a deluge of nasty Internet comments.

Postings on message boards made cracks about Branum's weight (about 400 pounds — one reason she says didn't realize sooner she was pregnant). They also analyzed her housekeeping ability, based on a photo of her home.

And they called her names. "A pig is a pig," one person wrote. Another suggested that she "go on the show 'The Biggest Loser.'"

"The thing that bothered me most was, people assumed because I am overweight, I'm going to be a bad mom," Branum says. "And that is not one little bit true."

It was yet another example of how the Internet — and the anonymity it affords — has given a public stage to people's basest thoughts, ones that in earlier eras likely never would have traveled past the watercooler, the kitchen table or the next barstool.

Such incidents — and there are countless across cyberspace — also raise the question: Is there anything to be done about it? Or is a decline in civil discourse simply the price that we pay for the advance of technology?

"The Internet really amplifies everything," says Jeffrey Cole, of the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Southern California. "We have a lot of opinions out there. All of a sudden there's a place we can go to share them." Add to that the freedom that anonymity provides, he says, and it "can lead to a rowdy Wild West situation, with no one to filter it."

"It's all things said reflexively, without thinking," says Cole, who tracks the political and social impact of the Internet as director of Annenberg's Center for the Digital Future.

"My guess is that if you went back to these people, a lot of them would have second thoughts."

And if you asked them to add their name, as in a traditional letter to the editor? "They’d be embarrassed..."

I can vouch for how true this is: as both the recipient of anonymous attacks, and being one who has sadly let the safety of being behind the keyboard get the best of the better angels of my nature.

Over the years, I've done any number of things that seemingly never fail to beckon losers who apparently have nothing better to do than insult others. My little "stunt" when I proposed to Lisa was one of them. So was that first commercial from my school board campaign. There's a reason why the commercial's page on YouTube is set to where comments are posted only after I approve them: it's the only way I can keep the profanity off the page. Bunches of twerps have tried to post something to the effect of "you f---ing idiot". And when Forcery was released... well, let's just say that "Marty Broxterman" showed me a whole new level of nastiness that comes with (a) being a legend in one's own mind and (b) lacking self-discipline over one's carnal nature.

Like I said though, I'm not entirely innocent when it comes to "posting nicely". I've written things on the 'net that I'm not too especially proud of when I look back on them. But every time, I did have the guts to make it so that what I wrote could be attributed to me one way or another. That's the way I've always operated: when it comes to writing, I can't remember a time when I was at all completely anonymous. Want to see me at some of my worst? Go to Free Republic or Liberty Post and search for posts by "Darth Sidious".

That's the biggest reason why I quit doing the "political message boards" thing: those places make it way too easy for you to say something that you'll regret later. I decided the best thing to do would be to give it up entirely.

But anyway, back to people who thrive on being anonymous insulters...

When I did my "proposal thing", it was something of a shock to see some of the nastiness that it evoked. But I was wise enough to expect it when I started posting my campaign commercials. I knew the savagery would be coming, even when I was putting the commercial together... and I did it anyway.

Wanna know what I think about people who hide behind the Internet's anonymity when they attack others? I think they're a waste of humanity. And I'm absolutely serious about that.

People like me - the ones who are writing things and producing videos and making music and all of this other stuff - we're the ones who are producing things. We're engaged in creating new and different things. People like us are the ones who are following a different drummer. Hurting other people is not on our agenda. The goal of achieving "fame" or "money" or "power" doesn't appeal to us. For me and, I like to think plenty enough other people, we're just trying to find and fulfill our purpose, however best we can. Insulting other people, even anonymously, doesn't figure into our equations at all.

But then there are those who have embraced the American culture of Schadenfreude. The ones who are not happy unless they are lashing out at someone that they don't even know. They're only hurling their insults because they really are too scared to put a face and a name to their words. But do you know why they do it in the first place?

It's because they won't do anything productive of their own, because they're either too timid or too lazy to commit to doing it. And they are too jealous of those who are brave enough to put themselves on the front line. Their fear and jealousy are too much to bear, and so they deal with their frustration the only way they know how: by viciously attacking those that they resent.

I don't let them get to me. Because if I afford them that, then that is time and energy that I would spend feeling bitter about it, that would be better used on more productive things... like writing a book or making more films. Which is going to infuriate these losers even more when I've shown that I can still produce something and they have... well, nothing at all to show for their nastiness.

Hey, I made a commercial that put my name and photo in The New York Times. Is even one of the bozos who've tried to insult me able to boast of doing that?

I'll make it short and sweet: my campaign commercial is going to be watched and enjoyed twenty years from now... long after the twerps who keep trying to post "F--- YOU!" to it are completely forgotten. I doubt they'll have made anything by then with the staying power of the Death Star blowing up a schoolhouse.

Wanna know how to deal with these very sad saps? Don't worry about them here in the present. Aim for the future instead. That's where "they" are too frightened to follow you toward.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

STUNNING new trailer for AT WORLD'S END

I've been out of the zone for the past 28 hours and totally missed this bad boy for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End going online late last night...

Now this is a trailer! Bewarned though: some spoiler-ish stuff in this for those who haven't seen Dead Man's Chest yet (you know what I'm talking about if you have seen it). This thing feels positively epic. Mash down here to see it in three flavors of high-def Quicktime goodness!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Doom, Super Mario Bros. 3 deemed "historically significant"

Last week, a committee that had been working on it for some time announced ten of the most culturally significant video games of all time. It's similar to the National Film Registry that's run by the Library of Congress. On the list of games deemed to have historical value: Tetris, Zork, Super Mario Bros. 3, SimCity, the Warcraft series, and... get this... Doom! Yes, Doom is among the first video games to be listed as having made an impact on culture and history. But as a longtime Doom-er, I knew that already. As is often said among Doom-aholics: "Doom will never die... only it's players will".

It's a good list. But if it ever gets expanded upon I think that we should see The Legend of Zelda (the original NES game), Pitfall II and Wing Commander added to it. Heh-heh, Wing Commander: now there is a game franchise that I would love to see return in a big way!

Friday, March 16, 2007

The clown is down

What if Quentin Tarantino directed a Burger King commercial? It would probably look something like this...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

That sound you hear tonight...

...is the groaning in agony of millions of people who just watched in horror as their brackets in the NCAA Tournament office/campus pool got completely screwed up by Duke.

Congrats to Virginia Commonwealth though on a good game.

The first half just ended between UNC and Eastern Kentucky and it doesn't look like the Colonels are gonna topple #1 seeded Tarheels. I still remember when Western Carolina almost pulled that off against Perdue in the '96 tournament: my sister was a student at WCU at the time and she said she'd never seen a college campus go so crazy, when it really looked like it was gonna happen. So far as I know though, no #1 seed has ever gone down in the first round.