The silliness of THE SECRET

So a few weeks ago a close friend asked me if I'd heard anything about this new book called The Secret. Bookworm though I be, this is something that hasn't appeared on my radar screen at all (though let's face it: I have been pretty busy lately with things not ordinarily experienced). He said there was also "a movie about it" too. Well last night I finally got around to looking into this...

...and without even cracking open the book once I can confidently say: The Secret is crap.

According to the book, there is some big "secret" that has been put together after being fragmented through the ages: a secret that will bring about "money, health, relationships, happiness". All you have to do is believe that good things are going to happen to you, and you will miraculously lose weight, gain libido, and have a lot more cash coming in. That is, according to The Secret.

It's not that much different from the "name it/claim it" mindset preached by Benny Hinn and some other professed "Christians". And that too is what The Secret is: Gnosticism, repackaged for a new generation that is fixated on things of the flesh rather than growth of the spirit. Only this time, the bold claim is that there really is a universal all-powerful "force" that does your bidding.

And to think that some people say I carry the whole Star Wars thing too far...

The book and the accompanying DVD are selling like crazy (the book is listed at #2 on Amazon.com only after pre-orders for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). Compared to The Secret, the Harry Potter books are a veritable trove of profound wisdom. Heck, I could see Lord Voldemort getting into this book bigtime. The Secret encourages materialism, while the big lesson from the Harry Potter series has been the real Christian principle that to not fear death is the only way to really live and enjoy life.

Besides, The Secret is going to ultimately prove to be just one more silly fad that will be almost totally forgotten about in another few years: some big "secret" indeed!

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First image of Stallone from JOHN RAMBO

It's being called John Rambo now, like how the final Rocky movie was titled Rocky Balboa. Anyway, here's what will be the first glimpse we'll have had of Rambo in darn nearly 20 years:

Doesn't look bad. Stallone as Rambo still looks like he can kick tail. I just wonder if this means Chuck Norris will be doing more Missing In Action movies now. Anyway, head over here for more on-set pics from John Rambo.

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Knockin' on Heaven's Gate

Remember these guys?

It was ten years ago tonight that the 39 members of the "Heaven's Gate" cult were found dead - after committing mass suicide - in their house in California. That was one weird thing when it happened. In case you were a bit younger: these guys were a UFO cult that believed a flying saucer was accompanying the Hale-Bopp Comet, which was big in the skies that spring. By killing themselves - or "leaving their earthly vehicles" as they put it - the Heaven's Gate bunch thought they were going to be takign a trip into outer space. Remember when they were showing footage shot inside the place: all those bodies with bags around their heads, wearing the same outfits and all found to be carrying five dollars in quarters (for the "videogames" that were going to be onboard the UFO that was supposed to pick them up).

Just plain screwy. Made all the more freakish by that nonstop video of cult founder Marshall Applewhite (the guy with those strange eyes) that ran on the news.

If you really want a blast from the past, here's the group's original website. Which not only describes the oddity of this bunch but also is a sterling example of the art of website design in the 1990s at its height. And if you want something a little light afterward, here's one of the Heaven's Gate website parodies that popped up after the suicides.

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ROME series finale last night

This is a show that knows how to wrap-up: by leaving them wanting more. That final shot, with Titus Pullo just about to tell Caesarion "about your father..." was timeless and beautiful. The whole hour and fifteen minutes (yup they went over a quarter-hour on this one) was awesome. Except... now we'll have no more adventures from Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo. But at least Kevin McKidd and Ray Stevenson seem to be spinning their work on Rome into other stuff: both are said to be doing some TV pilots and such. Here's hoping we find them back on the screen soon 'cuz these are two actors who captivated a lot of people. It was their work, and not the machinations of Antony and Caesar and Attia and Octavian and the rest, that is what made Rome so must-see these two seasons.

All told, it was good stuff. I might have to spring for the DVD sets of both seasons when they're out in stores.

Geez, what's HBO going to do since Rome and now The Sopranos are going away for good? That's a lot of good TV slot to fill. Maybe they'll get smart and bring back Carnivale...

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MySpace page of Catholic principal who banned students from having MySpace pages

This is clever.

Apparently it's in response to the following story...

School Prohibits Use Of MySpace
Students Can't Have MySpace Account At School Or Home

POSTED: 10:02 am PDT March 23, 2007

BLOOMFIELD HILLS, Mich. -- A Bloomfield Hills school is enforcing a new policy that bans the use of a popular Web site.

St. Hugo of the Hills Catholic School students were told recently that under a new school policy, called Think First, Stay Safe, the use of MySpace.com will be prohibited at school and at home, reported WDIV-TV.

The policy states that students enrolled at the school can't have a MySpace.com account or any similar type of personal site, according to a news release.

"The Internet can be wonderful for educational material, but it also can be unsafe," principal Sr. Margaret Van Velzen said.

At the beginning of each school year, students and parents will be required to sign an Internet policy.

School officials said it was necessary to apply the new policy after recent cases of adults, some in authoritative positions, posed as minors to converse or meet with young boys and girls.

Van Velzen said the decision was made with full support from the school's parents' organization.

"Ninety-nine-point-nine percent have been very supportive, and I've received many e-mails thanking me," Van Velzen said. "Our parent community is very supportive."

St. Hugo parent Kate Lynch said it's a great start.

"I think we've got a long way to go because it's a very difficult situation to grasp in its entirety," Lynch said. "There's so many things going on on the Internet and there's so much vulnerability for children."

Another St. Hugo parent, Liza Stanczak, said all schools should implement the policy.

"I think this is just the beginning of schools taking a stand against this kind of thing," Stanczak said. "I think this is going to have to happen because things are getting out of hand."

Students who have existing MySpace.com accounts must delete them. Students who do not delete their accounts cannot attend the school, Van Velzen said.

This is stupid! This will do absolutely nothing to deter the kids of St. Hugo of the Hills from having MySpace accounts. They'll simply find new ways to go underground and keep it up. In fact, Principal Van Velzen has probably caused more students to start using MySpace: it's the same thing that happened during Prohibition, they outlawed it and it only made people want it that much more.

That said, I thought "Sister Margaret Van Velzen"'s MySpage page was pretty hilarious.

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LOST Season 3 finale...

...is apparently going to have Ben as its flashback character.

Whoa.

Mash down here for more goodies about the next nine or so episodes.

By the way: it was more or less confirmed by the producers of Lost this past week that the show is going to run for two more seasons and then end. Which I think is great: with a definite schedule to adhere to, it'll keep the show from getting spread too thin and for too long (like ummm... what happened to The X-Files). Five seasons will be plenty of time to tell this excellent story and then give it a place of honor on the DVD shelf.

As for that Ben-centric finale for Season 3, I can't help but speculate as to whether this is when we'll finally get to see who this "Jacob" guy is (who was also confirmed this past week to be the mysterious "Him" that has been referred to since last season).

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Tonight on HBO: the last ROME ever!

The adventures of Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo wind down tonight when, after only two seasons, HBO airs the final episode of Rome. Guess it was only natural: the past few episodes have been about the rise to power of Octavian and things were pretty peaceful in the empire after he took over. But still, I've been loving this show since the very beginning, and this is gonna be one heckuva void to fill when it comes to quality television.

So, long live Rome. And for the last time: "Thirteenth!"

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Hugo Weaving is the voice of Megatron in TRANSFORMERS

Whoa. Never saw THAT one coming.I don't think anyone can ever really replace Frank Welker's long stretch as the Decepticon's leader. For those of us who grew up in the 80s, well... Welker's and Chris Latta's were the voices of pure diabolical evil. Sadly both are no longer with us. We will still have Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime though.

But the more I think about it, the more I'm liking the idea of Hugo Weaving doing speech for the Megster.

EDIT 6:17 PM EST: Geoff Gentry just told me that Frank Welker has NOT gone to the great beyond, as was previously reported. Bad, bad mistake on my part. Guess it was late and I was thinking too much about how it's Chris Latta who has passed on (he was the voice of Starscream, as well as Cobra Commander on the G.I. Joe cartoon). Nice to know that Welker is still active.

How about we retain Welker's voice as Megatron and use Weaving's for Starscream?

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Florida city will seize your home over a $5 parking ticket (and my e-mail to them)

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting much "heavy" stuff of late here. There are several reasons for that. Not the least of which is that I've been playing around with a new blog: one that's going to be completely dedicated to something that's absolutely serious. Stuff like what I'm posting about now is going to be going there when it's ready (and I'll just make links to them from here when I post on there so both of my loyal readers can find them). But in the meantime...

The city council of Brooksville, Florida has voted this week to foreclose on the houses of people who don't pay their parking tickets. Yes you read that right: don't pay a $5 parking ticket and the town of Brooksville will kick you out of house and home. Here's the full story:

Florida: City to Seize Homes Over a $5 Parking Ticket
Brooksville, Florida proposes to foreclose homes and seize cars over less than $20 in parking tickets.

The city council in Brooksville, Florida voted this week to advance a proposal granting city officials the authority to place liens and foreclose on the homes of motorists accused of failing to pay a single $5 parking ticket. Non-homeowners face having their vehicles seized if accused of not paying three parking offenses.

According to the proposed ordinance, a vehicle owner must pay a parking fine within 72 hours if a meter maid claims his automobile was improperly parked, incurring tickets worth between $5 and $250. Failure to pay this amount results in the assessment of a fifty-percent "late fee." After seven days, the city will place a lien on the car owner's home for the amount of the ticket plus late fees, attorney fees and an extra $15 fine. The fees quickly turn a $5 ticket into a debt worth several hundred dollars, growing at a one-percent per month interest rate. The ordinance does not require the city to provide notice to the homeowner at any point so that after ninety days elapse, the city will foreclose. If the motorist does not own a home, it will seize his vehicle after the failure to pay three parking tickets.

Any motorist who believes a parking ticket may have been improperly issued must first pay a $250 "appeal fee" within seven days to have the case heard by a contract employee of the city. This employee will determine whether the city should keep the appeal fee, plus the cost of the ticket and late fees, or find the motorist not guilty. Council members postponed a decision on whether to reduce this appeal fee until final adoption of the measure which is expected in the first week of April.

This is a crazier scam than the red-light cameras ever were.

It honked me off enough when I read this, that I just now fired off the following e-mail to the entire City Council of Brooksville, Florida:

From: Chris Knight (theknightshift@gmail.com)
To: dpugh@ci.brooksville.fl.us,
fburnett@ci.brooksville.fl.us, jbernardini@ci.brooksville.fl.us, lbradburn@ci.brooksville.fl.us, rlewis@ci.brooksville.fl.us
Subject:Voting to seize homes over $5 parking tickets

Dear members of the City Council of Brooksville, Florida:

Claire Wolfe wrote some years ago that "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."

By voting to seize the homes of people who don't pay a $5 parking ticket, you are making it "that time" more than you realize.

Just a friendly word of caution from someone who has spent his life studying history.

sincerely,
Chris Knight
Reidsville, North Carolina

p.s.: your website is an eyesore.
p.p.s.: I sure as hell will never spend any of my money in your town if I were to visit Florida.

It probably won't do any good: these people and too many others are a little too drunk on their own power. They're past the point of rational thinking.

Maybe it's time for a good ol'-fashioned tar-and-feathering?

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Ever seen a 248-dimensional object?

You have now...Here's the story about what this... thing... is:

This is a 2-dimensional projection of E8, a 248-dimensional object seen here simplified into only 8-dimensions to help preserve sanity. Essentially, if I understand it correctly, it’s like a 2-D shadow of a 248-D sphere, an object so symmetrical you could theoretically rotate it in any direction in up to 248 dimensions and it still appear the same. Talk about a stick in the mud. It took 18 mathematicians four years to produce the calculation for this object, its formula weighing in at 60 gigabytes. The computation was announced at MIT by David Vogan this Monday, the 19th of March, 2007.

So it took four years for 18 mathematicians to come up with... something that looks like it was made with an old Spirograph set?

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this one, folks. Here's a page that has a lot more about it though.

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Chris Daughtry live in concert tonight in Greensboro... FOR FREE!

Yes you read that right ('course if you are reading this now then it's way too late to get there probably): Chris Daughtry and his band performing live at Hamburger Square in downtown Greensboro, in an absolutely free concert.

We tried getting in tonight but the place is absolutely nuts! Probably 20,000 people in there, and they've been gathering there since early this morning. Lisa and I opted not to try to get in, but have vowed to see him in concert eventually.

(I have an awesome record of making good on promises to see singing artists in concert, by the way: ask me my story about "Weird Al" Yankovic sometime, if I haven't already shared it here :-)

Anyways this whole area is quite proud of Chris Daughtry, so it's a good thing to memorialize about here anyway, even if we aren't there.

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Was Harry Houdini poisoned?

His family wants to exhume his body to see if the great magician was actually murdered.

Wouldn't it be funny if they went and got his casket out and opened it up... and Houdini wasn't there?

(I know, bad joke :-)

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"I love you for loving me! Goodbye!"

You might have heard the sad news already: it was reported last night that Calvert DeForest... who will forever be known as that lovable oddball Larry "Bud" Melman on the original Late Night with David Letterman (NBC wouldn't let him keep the Melman name when the show moved to CBS)... has died at the age of 85.

Whether he was Larry Melman on the NBC show or Calvert DeForest at CBS, he was definitely a unique and memorable personality. Usually he'd be put in some weird situation as a Late Night/Late Show correspondent (remember him doing the 1994 Winter Olympics in Norway?) and proceed to act confused and flub lines... usually with the cue cards right in front of him too.

Melman was on the very first edition of Late Night that I saw (it was like 1986, four years after Letterman started his show at NBC). I watched him quite a few times over the years at NBC and then when the show moved to CBS. He did a lot of hilarious stuff. But the one thing that I'll always remember Calvert DeForest for was his very last appearance using the Larry "Bud" Melman name, on the final Late Night show on NBC in June 1993: Melman strode out onto the stage. He then yelled at the top of his lungs "I love you for loving me! Goodbye!" and then walked off. The next time we saw him he was Calvert DeForest in a tuxedo standing in the pupil of the CBS eye a few months later when Letterman's Late Show premiered: "This is CBS!" he bellowed.

Well, for people my age who remember David Letterman's original NBC show, he'll definitely be missed. In his honor, here's one of DeForest's early appearances as Larry Melman on a 1983 installment of Late Night, handing out hot towels to people stepping off the buses at the New York Port Authority...

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Tonight's LOST: HOLY %&@# !!!

Best. Lost. Ever.

That was more stuff happening in the first fifteen minutes of "The Man from Tallahassee" than what happened in the past three episodes put together. And then this episode really brought it on.

That was just... geez Louise, I really don't know what more to say about this. It was six flavors of crazy with sprinkles on top. If this one episode doesn't mark Lost as the best show on TV right now, I don't know what it'll take.

It has to at least be said that Terry O'Quinn is perhaps the best actor on TV, anyway. This was the best Locke-centric episode yet and O'Quinn poured everything into tonight's performance. That last flashback scene was especially powerful.

Brace yourself: remember the end of last week's episode, the "football scene"? You know how that one blew our minds? If you haven't watched "The Man from Tallahassee" yet, you ain't seen nuthin'...

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I couldn't help it

After swearing that I'd never do it again, I fell off the wagon tonight.

Dear lord, will this madness ever stop?

I couldn't help myself. It just happened.

We were flicking through the high-def channels and I wound up on UNC-TV, the state's PBS system. And they were doing their annual "Festival" pledge drive. The moment I saw that 800 number, my lips quivered and my hands started shaking.

Lisa couldn't stop me. I ran to the phone, and I... did it.

After all these years, I still can't stop doing it.

I picked up the phone and dialed the toll-free number. A nice lady answered and asked would I like to make a pledge to support public broadcasting. I told her "yes".

Then I told her that I would like to pledge $10,000...

...but only if PBS brought back the old Doctor Who reruns.

Then I hung up.

This has been going on FOR ELEVEN YEARS NOW! Somebody please, make it stop make it stop make it stop!!

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Has AMERICAN IDOL finally jumped the shark?

A little while ago I got to watch last night's American Idol (ain't DVR the greatest gadget ever?). This hasn't been the best season of Idol. Truth be known, apart from three singers in this year's bunch, it's been pretty boring. I've wondered - and quite a few times I should note - whether it's possible that American Idol has, at last, jumped the shark.

Last night's show might have been it. In case you haven't heard about it already, this is Ashley:

Starting with Sanjaya Malakar, the camera kept focusing on this girl who was sitting toward the front of the audienc, and she was crying like crazy. It happened so much that I seriously wondered, and even said this to my wife, if she was a "plant": someone put there by the producers for the show value. I mean, we're talking about this girl getting roughly the same amount of camera time that Sanjaya had whie he was onstage singing. And how did the producers know exactly where to find this girl, out of all those people?

Well, it turns out that as for whether she was a plant or not, the answer is: "kinda, yeah". Here's the story from the Los Angeles Times:

First things first: Who was the crying girl? After the show, I chatted with Idol's newest superstar, the crying girl, Ashley Ferl, aged 13, from Riverside. For some long minutes after the show, Ashley remained in a state of inconsolable sobbing, unable to choke out a single word. However, through an interpreter (her mother) we were eventually able to learn some facts about the young superstar.

The family, I was told, obtained tickets on a website to attend a taping of "Smarter Than a 5th Grader" a day passage that included not just the taping of the show itself, but also the dress rehearsal of either "Grader" or "Idol." The fates were kind, and the mother and daughter found their way to the "Idol" rehearsal, where Ashley’s waterworks began. Her prowess was quickly brought to the attention of "Idol" producers who summoned the clan to a ringside seat of honor at the final taping.

Her powers of speech slowly returning, Ashley revealed that while she was on stage she had been thinking that "this was the coolest thing ever." Asked whom she was supporting in the competition she named "Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin" as her picks, refusing to narrow her vote down to a single choice. All my journalistic powers of persuasion, cajoling, bullying and insistence that on her vote might turn the entire competition, that "Listen to reason, young Ferl, there can't be four American Idols," would not convince her to name a single favorite. To my every argument, she would only repeat her mantra, "All Four: Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin." And so the race begins in earnest, with tears at every step of the way.

So Ashley was not someone that the Fox suits intended to be a plant (look it's happened before, it was reasonable to be suspicious) but she was very much overwhelmed by the experience of being there during a live American Idol show and the Fox execs played it to the hilt. Probably without her knowing it. Which if Ashley is fine with it, it's fine with me. But it does seem like a rather tacky move on the part of Fox to exploit a thirteen-year old girl's emotions like that.

Was this attention to Ashley done in an attempt to influence the voting? I have to wonder about that too. However it is, I don't know if this show really has that kind of allure for me anymore. Last year's competition that produced Taylor Hicks and Chris Daughtry (among others) seems more and more like the high-water mark of American Idol, that will never be equalled. This latest thing just impresses in my mind all the more that this show can't ever be that good again.

Was last night when American Idol finally jumped the shark? Time will tell...

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Thy king-dumb come: Left Behind finally ending

Two weeks from now will find closure coming to something that should have ended a long, long time ago. Kingdom Come, purportedly the LAST installment of the Left Behind series of novels, comes out on April 3rd.

These books have done absolutely nothing positive for Christianity. They've scared a lot of people into professing Christ as their lord and savior. Unfortunately a relationship with Christ has to be built on something more than fear. Being a Christian isn't supposed to be something you embrace as "fire insurance" against Hell: there's more to it than that. This is something you do because you realize that on your own, you really don't have meaning or purpose. Being a witness for Christ means showing others the work that God is completing in our lives. It doesn't mean scaring people: there's no spiritual growth possible when fear is made out to be the biggest motivation for seeking God.

That aside, this series started out fairly good... before it became a joke. It's just too damn long for one thing. As I've noted before (in a now-classic rant against Left Behind), Stephen King only needed seven books for his Dark Tower saga, and when the final book comes out this summer the Harry Potter series will likewise number seven in all. Left Behind is going to be sixteen full-length novels: more than The Dark Tower and Harry Potter combined. Seven books would have been plenty: one for each year of the Tribulation. And maybe one wrapping up a thousand years later like Kingdom Come is going to be (but even that might be overkill).

For another thing, Left Behind really has become too much of a franchise: something driven more by money than an earnest desire to serve God. I mean, a Left Behind video game...? There's also the comic books, a HORRIBLY-produced movie ("It's like The Day of the Jackal as conceived by Ned Flanders..."), I haven't seen them yet but I hear that action figures are floating around out there somewhere. A friend told me just yesterday that Left Behind, while something that's supposed to be apart from this world, has become too much like the world.

Dear lord... Left Behind has become a bloated whore.

Well, in two weeks it'll finally come to a conclusion. I might get a copy, if nothing else than to post a review here. And also 'cuz I've read the twelve "core" books (but not the prequels) so I guess I do have a morbid curiosity about how this all ends.

But before Kingdom Come is published the week after next, there's something you should know. This is Kingdom Come, the Left Behind novel written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins:

And this is Kingdom Come, the classic DC Comics graphic novel by Mark Waid and Alex Ross:

Both are about the Book of Revelation, so please don't confuse the two!

By the way, that's Absolute Kingdom Come, the 10th anniversary edition of the book that DC published last year. It costs $75. Kingdom Come the Left Behind finale is sixteen bucks on Amazon. Guess which one I would recommend to be the better deal. I mean c'mon...

On the left is Nicolae Carpathia from Left Behind: the biblical Antichrist himself. On the right is Magog from DC's Kingdom Come: the man who made Superman run away and hide.

Who do you think is cooler?

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