Bush makes tacit admission that Iraq is about his own ego

A little knowledge is said to be a dangerous thing. George W. Bush's grasp of history is downright lethal.

Here's one of the stories about Bush comparing Iraq to Vietnam, in which he made sure to use emotionally-charged words like "re-education camps" and "killing fields".

The biggest irony of that: if Bush is talking about the "killing fields" of Cambodia, then maybe it will interest him that the genocide might never have happened, had the people of that country not given the Khmer Rouge so much support following American attacks on Cambodia during the Vietnam War. The Khmer Rouge's rise to power was a direct result of American interventionism in Southeast Asia. Just as we are intervening in the Middle East today with Iraq.

But here's what also bothers me: in this same speech, Bush said that America will stay in Iraq as long as he is President.

In other words, Bush is admitting that the American presence in Iraq is not dependent on achieving "conditions of victory", whatever they happen to be at the moment. No, now Bush is making it clear that American forces being in Iraq are solely there because he wants them there, without that necessarily being in regards to the best interests of this country. This war really is about satisfying one man's ego now: Bush has actually come out and said it.

Meanwhile, 14 American soldiers are dead in a helicopter crash in Iraq. And the mother of one soldier who died in Iraq is asking "I want to know why I'm planning a funeral while George Bush is planning a wedding."

And one California family is mourning the death of their second son in Iraq.

I very strongly doubt that Bush, or any of this war's supporters, have shed any tears of grief for those lost in this conflict of theirs. They really can't look past their own egos and see the very real individuals who are dying for no reason at all in this senseless war.

Yes, I wonder too why Jenna Bush and this beau of hers haven't volunteered to serve in Iraq. I mean, if this war is about freedom, then it seems as though they would want to do their part in securing it, doesn't it?

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ATF agents caught editing Wikipedia pages for Star Wars, beer

You may have heard already about the Wikipedia Scanner, a new website that lets you find out who has been editing what Wikipedia pages and from where. And since the site went bigtime last week a lot of activity has come to light, such as the Central Intelligence Agency and the Vatican making edits, Apple, Microsoft and Dell adding negative info about their competitors and Diebold attempting to wipe out serious concerns about the integrity of its voting machines.

Now comes word that Red's Trading Post has blown the lid on what members of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms are doing with our tax money.

Among other things, IP addresses that trace back to the BATF have been responsible for Wikipedia edits regarding: Star Wars, Calvin and Hobbes, Charles Bronson, Samuel Adams Beer, and Harry Potter.

I suppose it's easier for ATF members to play around with fantasy, than it is for them to "edit away" the very real world that they have played a part in creating (WARNING: graphic image at the link).

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Finally saw THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

Over the weekend I got to catch The Simpsons Movie. It came out at the end of July and people who know me best had assumed that I would see this on opening day but I wound up waiting about three weeks. At one point I thought I'd just wait to see it when it came out on DVD.

I'm glad that I didn't! The Simpsons Movie was the funniest film that I've seen at the theater in quite a long time. I'm going to heartily recommend watching The Simpsons Movie during its cinematic run because the show's producers seriously play up the fact that they have a full-length motion picture to run around in (i.e. Bart writing on the blackboard "I will not illegally download this movie" on the classic opening chalkboard shot). The movie tends to "slow down" somewhat during the final third of the movie, but overall I was laughing pretty hard throughout the entire show. My biggest fear was that this would basically be one half-hour Simpsons episode strung out across 90 minutes, but gladly it doesn't feel like that at all: it's actually quite a lengthy and intricate plot for an animated comedy. And as a fan of the show who has - like many - lamented a perceived decline in quality over the past few years, I have to say: this certainly felt like vintage Simpsons from ten years or so ago. If they have been "saving the good stuff" for this movie, then I am feeling inclined to forgive the show's producers. Let's hope that The Simpsons Movie marks the beginning of the pendulum's swing back upward.

Great movie. I enjoyed it immensely. And I'm hearing that some people who don't even care that much for The Simpsons are liking it a lot too. Well worth seeing during its theatrical run.

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Charlie's Soap commercial on YouTube

Charlie's Soap is a locally-produced item that's been available here for quite awhile. It's now fast becoming known all over the place as a substance that will clean anything ("...from false teeth to diesel engines" as the label says) while being very friendly to the environment. Here's a pretty hilarious commercial for the stuff that I found on YouTube:

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YOUNG INDIANA JONES on DVD and why history teachers should want it

TVShowsOnDVD.com has the scoop on what to expect with next month's long-awaited (well I sure have been wanting this anyway :-) release on DVD of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles - Volume 1.

In case you never saw this, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles was a show on ABC that started in March of 1992 and ran for a year or so on-and-off. The brainchild of George Lucas, Young Indiana Jones Chronicles followed, well, young Indiana Jones on adventures from the time he was 9 on up into his early twenties. We got to see Indy meet T.H. Lawrence (of Arabia) and Howard Carter (discoverer of Tut's tomb) in the burning sands of Egypt, all the way to fighting in the trenches of World War I and then as a college student in Chicago where he was roomies with Elliot Ness. It was an amazing show that happened to come along at the wrong time: I've always thought that television networks struggled quite a bit back then with a lot of new shows that were well ahead of their time. ABC was rife with this: first Twin Peaks, and then Young Indiana Jones. I also think in hindsight that the show was probably marketed the wrong way. How it should have been marketed is something I'm still trying to figure out. In any case, I've always thought that The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles had enormous potential as a teaching aid in the classroom, and indeed that was the driving impetus that was part of the show's production from its inception.

Well, it's coming 15 years after its premiere, but it looks like The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles is finally going to bear the fruit it was always intended to bear. The DVD set of Volume 1 is going to weigh in at 12 discs. What's on them? Well there'll be the first several episodes from the show, but also a bunch of historical documentaries that George Lucas and producer Rick McCallum have been working on for several years now just for this DVD release, an "interactive timeline" and some other goodies.

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles - Volume 1 is going to street with a suggested retail price of $117.99 (U.S.). Which is the most that I've ever heard of for a DVD set of a television series. But I cannot emphasize enough how much of a wonderful tool this is going to be for teachers of middle and high school history classes. The episodes themselves, I always found to not only be rollicking fine entertainment... but they were also some of the finest historical fiction that I've ever come across. This was a show that showcased the history of the early 20th Century with an unprecedented amount of detail and accuracy for a show with a network television budget. Much more important than that, the show made viewers appreciate - through the eyes and experiences of young Indiana Jones - some of the most important events of the past hundred years in a way that perhaps audiences had never been led to empathize with before. The episode that takes place at Verdun, during which Indy is a courier for the Allied army in World War I: to this day, that episode haunts me like precious little on television has. That's one episode that might have a lot more relevance today than it did when it first aired in the spring of 1992, even (if you saw it you'll probably understand what I'm talking about).

If I ever wind up teaching history in a high school setting, you'd darned well better believe that I'm going to get this set. Not just for my own collection and as an Indiana Jones fan, but because this is going to present a lot of material that I'm eager to share with my students in a way that is going to thoroughly engage them and make them want to learn more about it on their own. Which, I've always thought, is how you can know that you've succeeded as a teacher.

So if you are a history teacher already, you may want to check this out: I've a hunch it's going to wind up seriously recommended as an instructional aid, and you might want to look at having this in your school's library.

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Ron Price and Lord Voldemort: THE SAME MAN?!

Over the weekend I was re-reading through parts of the Harry Potter books and something really scary crossed my mind. It turns out that there are numerous striking similarities between Harry's arch-nemesis Lord Voldemort, and disgraced Rockingham County Board of Education member Ron Price (the admitted thief and loather of public participation).

Consider...

- Lord Voldemort has no friends. Ron Price couldn't find a friend or relative who would hold his Bible as he was being sworn-in for the school board.

- Lord Voldemort conned many people into thinking that he was a charming man. Ron Price conned many people into thinking that he was a "conservative" Christian.

- Lord Voldemort is fixated on himself and sees everyone else as a potential threat. Ron Price is fixated on himself and has said that "I've learned who my opponents are and who will work with me."

- Lord Voldemort and Ron Price are both mad with power.

- Lord Voldemort and Ron Price both lash out against those who oppose them: Voldemort tries to destroy Harry Potter and Price is trying to destroy the Moores.

- Lord Voldemort's mad schemes were opposed by the Order of the Phoenix. Ron Price's mad schemes have been opposed by P.O.T.S.M.O.D. (People Opposed To Standard Mode Of Dress).

- Lord Voldemort speaks Parseltongue. Ron Price speaks Neocon with a forked tongue.

- Lord Voldemort steals valuable items and hides them around England. Ron Price steals valuable items and hides them in the trunk of his car.

- Lord Voldemort hates Half-bloods and believes they are bad for the Wizarding world. Ron Price hates common people who take a stand and has called them "bad for the community".

- Lord Voldemort wants to have control of one school. Ron Price wants to have control of one school system.

- To stay forever young Lord Voldemort uses Horcruxes. To look forever young Ron Price uses... well, we'll let you judge for yourself.

- And last but certainly not least...

"TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE"
becomes the anagram
"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT"

while

"RONALD FILER PRICE"
becomes the anagram
"IRONCLAD PILFERER"

!!!

Maybe we should start referring to Ron Price as "He Who Should NOT Be Named"...?

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Last thing I'm going to say on this blog all weekend

"This part of my life...
this part right here?
This is called 'happyness.'"

-- Christopher Gardner (played by Will Smith)
from the movie The Pursuit of Happyness

God is good. Life is good. And my pursuit of happyness has come a very long way today.

Have a great weekend :-)

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TRANSFORMERS is coming to IMAX!

Transformers is coming to IMAX screens all over the place on September 21st! It's gonna be bigger, louder... and it's going to include more footage than what we've seen in conventional theaters already!

Here's the story at SuperheroHype.com. Very good thanks to Eric Wilson for passing the word along over here :-)

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I finally have a complete set of BABYLON 5 on DVD!

Well, almost a complete set. But it is the part that counts most!

As I've said here before, I'm not much of a television watcher. A show has to be very good before I invest my valuable time in sitting down to enjoy it on a regular basis. And it takes nothing less than storytelling of the highest caliber to keep me captivated and coming. That's why I love Lost so much. And ten years before that, there was Babylon 5.

This was the standout science-fiction show of the Nineties. And easily one of the best shows of that era, period. Babylon 5 broke bold new ground and in my sincere opinion set the pace for all the good shows that have followed. I don't know if there had been this kind of thing attempted before with American television that Babylon 5 pulled off: a broad, sweeping epic boasting a definite arc with a beginning, middle and end. The show was programmed to last for five years, tell its tale and then bow out, without becoming bogged-down as a "franchise".

What was it about? Babylon 5 was set (for the most part) aboard a space station in the 23rd century, at a meeting-point in space between several interstellar superpowers (including a coalition of Earth-aligned planets) and several other minor races. Babylon 5 was five miles long, armed to the teeth, and always seeming to attract the wrong kind of attention. This was a show with terrific settings and special effects but above all else this was a show about characters. These were real three-dimensional people who grew and changed dramatically over the course of five years worth of plot. It was the first sci-fi show I ever saw that treated the subject of religion seriously, and without scoffing at it (my favorite episode is the one with the Baptist preacher... and if you know which one I'm talking about, guess what my favorite scene in that episode was :-). It had drama, heartbreak, horror and insane humor. And I don't know if I can keep singing its praises without being here typing all afternoon.

Well anyhoo, in spite of how much I loved this show, until last night I'd never had the complete series on DVD. And I've been such a big Babylon 5 fan that I taped it's complete run in broadcast not once but twice: first off of TNT when the show moved there from syndication and then when Sci-Fi Channel started running it in widescreen.

So the first Christmas that Lisa and I were married (2002) I wound up getting Season 1 on DVD as a gift. The following year I got Season 2. The year after that I received Season 3 and the Movie Collection, which has the 2-hour pilot episode and the four Babylon 5 made-for-TV movies. But all of this time, for one reason or another I never wound up getting seasons 4 and 5.

Well right now, Best Buy has all the Babylon 5 DVD season box sets on sale for $19.95 each, whereas they usually street for about $60. So last night I went to the Best Buy in Burlington and drove back home with Season 4 and Season 5 in my happy possession :-) Here's the entire set that I now own...

I also own the original DVD release of "The Gathering" and "In The Beginning", but since those are already in the Movie Collection I didn't put that here in this photo. Prominently absent are the DVDs of Crusade, the Babylon 5 spin-off series. Why don't I own those? Mostly out of frustration: I was really looking forward to Crusade... and then TNT had to botch it up beyond belief (the Wikipedia entry for Crusade barely even begins to describe the hell that this show went through). Because of TNT's machinations, Crusade became two wildly different shows mashed together with all kinds of continuity problems sticking out like sore thumbs. I would love to see this part of the Babylon 5 saga continued and resolved someday, but TNT put too bad a taste in my mouth to even try to enjoy Crusade as it became in its hands.

I also don't own (yet) the "Legend of the Rangers" DVD. I watched that when it first broadcast and it was... odd. Even for Babylon 5. But maybe I'll give it a shot again. That movie has the distinction of being the only thing of Babylon 5 that I watched while visiting Lisa's apartment at University of Georgia when we were dating.

And there is one new, made-for-DVD Babylon 5 movie called "The Lost Tales" that just came out. I'm probably going to get that soon, too.

But in the meantime, I'm relishing having the complete set of the core Babylon 5 series in my possession, where I can enjoy it - like any good book - in the years to come and where it can be waiting for my own children to discover and enjoy someday.

Now, since I finally have them all, I'm wondering what to make for dinner tonight as I start watching them anew. I figure that I've got two choices: bagna cauda (you will understand this if you've watched Babylon 5) or Red Baron's pepperoni pizza (two other people will understand that one :-).

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Alaska football game to make sports history tonight

Tonight at 7 p.m. Alaska Time (that's 11 p.m. for us folks here on the East Coast) the Barrow Whalers will open their 2007 football season against the Seward Seahawks.

It will be the first-ever live broadcast over the Internet of a sporting event from north of the Arctic Circle! The game will be played 300 miles above the circle in Barrow, Alaska: the northernmost point on the North American continent.

Click here to enjoy the game on the Black Diamond Sports Network when it starts streaming live. The pre-game show starts 20 minutes before kickoff.

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AWESOME pics from THE DARK KNIGHT hit the web!

Well, looks like I get to go out on a good note tonight after all!

Check out this incredible still of Heath Ledger as the Joker from The Dark Knight...

"Starting tonight, people will die. I'm a man of my word. FFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

(from The Dark Knight teaser)

And there's a dozen more or so floating around out there right now. Here's where I first found them on Ain't It Cool News but if they get hit with a cease & desist then you'll know what to look for 'cuz it's all over the blogosphere tonight anyway :-)

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So we're not becoming a fascist state under Bush, huh?

Americans may soon be required to have a passport to board a domestic flight. Or... get this... to picnic in a national park.

Yup, you may soon have to possess a passport the next time you want to fly off for a visit to Aunt Tilly in Akron, or take the family to vacation in Yellowstone.

How in the world is this different from "Your papers, please..." in the Soviet Union?

How, indeed?

Will people keep ignoring what is happening, now so obviously right before our eyes? Will the people of this country ever take off the rose-colored glasses and stop denying what is going on?

I've said it before, will say it again: America has suffered more grievous damage during George W. Bush's time as President than she ever has throughout her entire long history. And I don't know if we'll ever recover from it all adequately enough.

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Homeland Security enlisting clergy to quell dissent

I'm going to start this post with a reference to one of my all-time favorite movies. In The Patriot, right after Gabriel goes to the church to recruit members for the militia, Reverend Oliver (Rene Auberjonois) lays down his clergyman's wig and takes up the rifle. And this is what he tells his congregation...

"A shepherd must tend his flock.
And at times... fight off the wolves."

I know: The Patriot is a work of fiction (even though some of its characters were real historical figures). But Reverend Oliver's sentiment is a real one for a follower of Christ. Especially for a true patriot in every sense of the word. Real Christian patriots are loyal to a law higher than man's. They will defend it. They will fight for it. If need be, they know that they may even be called upon to die for it. And they can accept that because they understand that there are worse things that can happen to us than deprivation of comfort or a painful death.

See that quote at the top of this page by C.S. Lewis? That's what that's all about. That's what most Christians - and especially Christians in America - used to know and appreciate.

Let me put it this way: a real Christian minister in modern America would not be blindly doing or believing whatever this government tells them to. A real Christian would dare to question, and to stand up and defy this government if it comes to that.

Well folks, it looks like sooner than later the wheat is going to be separated from the chaff so far as spiritual leadership in America goes. We are about to see who will stand for God and who will stand for man. From KSLA in Shreveport comes this report...

Homeland Security Enlists Clergy to Quell Public Unrest if Martial Law Ever Declared

Aug 15, 2007 07:07 PM

Could martial law ever become a reality in America? Some fear any nuclear, biological or chemical attack on U.S. soil might trigger just that. KSLA News 12 has discovered that the clergy would help the government with potentially their biggest problem: Us.

Charleton Heston's now-famous speech before the National Rifle Association at a convention back in 2000 will forever be remembered as a stirring moment for all 2nd Amendment advocates. At the end of his remarks, Heston held up his antique rifle and told the crowd in his Moses-like voice, "over my cold, dead hands."

While Heston, then serving as the NRA President, made those remarks in response to calls for more gun control laws at the time, those words live on. Heston's declaration captured a truly American value: An over-arching desire to protect our freedoms.

But gun confiscation is exactly what happened during the state of emergency following Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, along with forced relocation. U.S. Troops also arrived, something far easier to do now, thanks to last year's elimination of the 1878 Posse Comitatus act, which had forbid regular U.S. Army troops from policing on American soil.

If martial law were enacted here at home, like depicted in the movie "The Siege", easing public fears and quelling dissent would be critical. And that's exactly what the 'Clergy Response Team' helped accomplish in the wake of Katrina.

Dr. Durell Tuberville serves as chaplain for the Shreveport Fire Department and the Caddo Sheriff's Office. Tuberville said of the clergy team's mission, "the primary thing that we say to anybody is, 'let's cooperate and get this thing over with and then we'll settle the differences once the crisis is over.'"

Such clergy response teams would walk a tight-rope during martial law between the demands of the government on the one side, versus the wishes of the public on the other. "In a lot of cases, these clergy would already be known in the neighborhoods in which they're helping to diffuse that situation," assured Sandy Davis. He serves as the director of the Caddo-Bossier Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness.

For the clergy team, one of the biggest tools that they will have in helping calm the public down or to obey the law is the bible itself, specifically Romans 13. Dr. Tuberville elaborated, "because the government's established by the Lord, you know. And, that's what we believe in the Christian faith. That's what's stated in the scripture."

Civil rights advocates believe the amount of public cooperation during such a time of unrest may ultimately depend on how long they expect a suspension of rights might last.

This Dr. Durell Tuberville is a bad shepherd for his flock. He doesn't believe in "fighting against the wolves". He's going to let the wolves come in and devour those that he believes he has been called to care for.

Heck I'll put it this way: if I were a minister in an area that the federal government was using armed force to suspend Constitutional rights in, I would have but one instruction to my congregation: "Aim small, miss small."

Ministers who go along with Homeland Security like this are traitors. To their countrymen and to their calling. They may not have acted upon it yet but they've thrown their lot in with the powers of man in opposition to the power of God.

And so far as Romans 13 goes, I'll attempt to put it in plain-enough English for these so-called "minsters" to understand...

Here in America, the government is not in authority over us! We the people have the authority! This government only has whatever authority it derives from us!

It is my belief that we rebel against this authority - which God Himself has entrusted to us - when we do not use it responsibly. And we do not use it responsibly when we tolerate these weak people who abuse it in the name of government. 1st Peter 2:13 tells us to "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men".

Well, the Constitution and what it stands for is what we have instituted in America. If we are not loyal to the Constitution against all enemies, then we are in dire violation of scripture. And I'll be damned if I let this government tell me not to be loyal to a Constitution that more people than we'll ever know fought and died for.

The wolves are coming. They want to devour everything that we have and everything that this country is supposed to stand for.

Where are the shepherds this time who will fight them off?

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Monetary hypocrisy

If your or I were to make counterfeit money, we would go to prison.

If the Federal Reserve makes counterfeit money, it's considered "business as usual".

$17 billion today that got injected into the system. That's almost $90 billion since last week.

If this keeps up, the "dollars" that you can print up with the Epson on your desktop are going to be worth more than actual Federal Reserve notes.

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High school students being forced to pick majors

I have to quite seriously wonder how long will it be before this is becomes proposed for schools here in Rockingham County, North Carolina. I mean, we've already got at least one school board member who has said that students are there to learn how to "find a job" and not how to be individuals.

This same school board member re-affirmed that to me rather strongly at the meeting the following night, by the way. I honestly can't see it as being too far of a stretch for him to be in favor of something like this, either...

Students at many high schools across the country are being forced to pick academic "majors" as early as 9th grade, according to a story in today's The New York Times...

Ninth graders often have trouble selecting what clothes to wear to school each morning or what to have for lunch. But starting this fall, freshmen at Dwight Morrow High School here in Bergen County must declare a major that will determine what electives they take for four years and be noted on their diplomas.

For Dwight Morrow, a school that has struggled with low test scores and racial tensions for years, establishing majors is a way to make their students stay interested until graduation and stand out in the hypercompetitive college admissions process.

Some parents have welcomed the requirement, noting that a magnet school in the district already allowed some students to specialize. But other parents and some educators have criticized it as preprofessionalism run amok or a marketing gimmick.

"I thought high school was about finding what you liked to do," said Kendall Eatman, an Englewood mother of six who was president of the Dwight Morrow student body before graduating in 1978. "I think it's too early to be so rigid."

Debra Humphreys, a spokeswoman for the Association of American Colleges and Universities, called high-school majors "a colossally bad idea," saying youngsters should instead concentrate on developing a broad range of critical thinking and communication skills.

"Today's economy requires people to be constantly learning and changing," Ms. Humphreys said. "A lot of jobs that high school students are likely to have 10 years from now don't yet exist, so preparing too narrowly will not serve them well."

Here's why this approach is so horrible: it's trying to mold and craft people into being gears in a machine that can be installed and swapped-out. It specializes people too much. Instead of giving individuals a wide, rich foundation of knowledge and critical thinking skills from which they can draw upon throughout life as they themselves see fit, it defines them downward according to Utilitarian purpose.

In other words, it restricts the students from being the individuals of ability and free will that they are supposed to be.

But I guess that tearing down their potential isn't of much concern to some people, apparently.

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Paramount confirms: TRANSFORMERS score CD is rolling out!

Warner Bros. Records will "shortly" be releasing the album of Steve Jablonsky's orchestral score from the movie Transformers, according to a Senior Vice President in the Music Department at Paramount Pictures.

The Knight Shift blog received this confirmation a short while ago. And you've no idea how happy I am about being able to report this!

The word comes from a source wishing to identifying himself as "Sam Witwicky all the way from New Zealand" (and in case you're wondering, I already asked if his eBay username was "ladiesman217" and he said that it's not :-). "Sam Witwicky" was able to correspond directly with the good people at Paramount Pictures: the studio which along with DreamWorks was responsible for producing Transformers. Our man Sam told them about the interest there's been in a CD release of Jablonsky's score and he mentioned the online petition (which may hit 5,000 signatures in the next few days).

Here's what Sam received back...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dan Butler at Paramount
Date: Aug 16, 2007 4:12 AM
Subject: RE: Transformers Original Score
To: Sam Witwicky

There will be a score album released shortly on Warner Bros. Records. Thanks for your interest!

Dan Butler

Senior Vice President

Business Affairs & Legal - Music

Paramount Pictures

So there's the word pretty much from the top: soon, we'll be getting to put our grubby lil' paws on a shiny new CD containing that majestic score from Transformers by Steve Jablonsky!

To all of you who have signed the petition and have otherwise been showing support for this album and getting the word spread about how much we'd love to have it in our collections: THANK YOU!! Nothing would please me more than to be able to shake hands with every single one of ya :-)

And very special thanks to Dan Butler and the folks at Paramount for having this great news sent along to us!

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1000 MILES TO GRACELAND: Our honeymoon pilgrimage to Memphis

We celebrate many birthdays. But to the best of my knowledge there are only two people that the western world takes time out to commemorate the deaths of: Jesus Christ, and Elvis Presley. Curious, that...

So today is the 30th anniversary of the death of Elvis. Which a lot of folks no doubt are going to be remembering in various ways. Here's mine: the story of how Lisa and I wound up devoting a considerable chunk of our honeymoon five years ago to the King of Rock and Roll.

I suppose all of this came about because of what you see in the picture on your right. This was taken at the rehearsal dinner on the night before our wedding at this restaurant in Calhoun, Georgia. As dinner was winding down Lisa's dad thanked everyone for coming from such far away (we had guests in from Brooklyn, Australia and Belgium!) and thought that it would be a good time to introduce everyone and how they were related to the bride and groom, and basically it was a great idea to "roast" us as he put it.

Well, I had no idea that this was coming, but Chad Austin spoke about how he and I had been friends since kindergarten, all on up through high school and it was at that point that he mentioned Chris "doing his Elvis impersonation". HOW THE %@#$ DID HE THINK TO BRING THAT UP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!? That was something that started in one particular session of computer class when we were juniors in high school, and before I knew it there were posters all over campus advertising "CHRIS KNIGHT TONIGHT LIVE, SEE HIM DO ELVIS AT 8 PM!" Well, being a good gracious groom at my own rehearsal dinner I thought it'd be wise to demonstrate just what the joke was about, so I got up from the table and in front of everyone I did my world-famous "Elvis shaking his pelvis" routine. It was a huge hit! And that's all that I plan on talking about that. In fact, forget you ever read this much about it.

Let's move on, shall we...

So we finished with dinner and Lisa went back to her parents' house for a lil' "get-together" with the girls and a bunch of us guys - Chad, "Weird" Ed, Johnny Yow, the amazing "Lowbridge" and I - went off for a bachelor's party at U.S. Play in Marietta. The next day we had the wedding and that afternoon Lisa and I took off for our honeymoon in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We'd planned on being there from Saturday night on 'til Wednesday but decided to extend our stay there a day. That still left us with plenty of time for our honeymoon trip but we didn't know where to spend it at.

I think it was late Tuesday that the idea hit to drive all the way across Tennessee, and make a "religious pilgrimage" to Graceland in Memphis.

We checked out at the cabin rental place on Thursday morning and it wasn't long afterward that we were on I-40 headed west across the whole length of Tennessee. We left Gatlinburg at about 11 and after a loooooooong drive we finally got to Memphis almost at 8 p.m.

The next morning, we went to Graceland. There's a visitor's center where you board a shuttle and if you like you can get this fancy audio tour thingy that you wear earphones with as you walk around the grounds.

Anyways, here's some photos from our visit to Graceland. First is the front door of the place...

There's not too much photo-taking allowed inside Elvis's house (and the upstairs portion - where the King lived and ummmm, died is strictly off-limits) but we were able to get a few good pics elsewhere on the grounds. Here's Elvis's swimming pool...

Here's Lisa in the backyard area...

And here in the Meditation Garden of Graceland is the grave of Elvis Presley, along with mother Gladys, father Vernon and his grandmother Minnie Mae...

And here's a closeup of Elvis's grave...

A quick note about the name on the King's grave marker, since it's helped fueled speculation over the years that Elvis didn't die in 1977. You see, Elvis's full name really is "Elvis Aaron Presley". But for years it's been claimed that his middle name was actually "Aron". Indeed, that's how Elvis himself spelled it for a long time, until he discovered that his legal name did include "Aaron". The reason for the "Aron" spelling was that Elvis thought it sounded so much like "Garon", the name of his stillborn twin brother. Anyways, when the official death certificate was made out for Elvis it spelled his full name as "Elvis Aron Presley"... which led some to wonder if there might be something sinister at work. And some have said that the name on the grave marker is not the actual legal name of Elvis, either. Which is which? Since it was Vernon Presley who was in charge of the grave arrangement and how the memorials were made out, I'll defer to his judgment.

There's a pretty extensive collection of Elvis's belongings that are on display at Graceland, including all the King's certified gold, silver and platinum records (this takes up every bit of wall space in one cavernous room and it's still growing). You can also see Elvis's vehicles, including his planes and his cars, not the least of which is his famous Pink Cadillac...

There's that guy again, unholying the holy ground...

We spent most of the day at Graceland, and thought it was well worth taking an unplanned excursion for it during our honeymoon. Later that night we went out to explore Memphis some more. Here's a shot of Lisa taken right before sunset, with the Hernando de Soto Bridge crossing the Mississippi River in the background...

A short while after this, since it's not everyday that you get to cross the Mississippi, we got in our car and took I-40 over the bridge. That way we also got to say that we visited Arkansas during our trip. But since by this point the sun was fast going down, I told Lisa that we had better get out of Arkansas "before the monsters come out". Look this is the state that produced Bill Clinton: that's more than enough to scare me about the prospect of being stuck there when darkness falls, 'kay?

So we turned around fast and headed back over the river and got back to Memphis. Here's a groovy statue of Elvis that we found...

And here's a statue of another famous son of Memphis, B.B. King...

Lisa and I took a nice trolley ride through downtown Memphis. We got to see Beale Street, which was just as lively as I imagined it would be. And I just did miss getting a picture of this because it it took about 5 seconds for me to realize what it was that I was looking at, but we also saw the Lorraine Motel: the place where Martin Luther King Jr. was shot (it's now the National Civil Rights Museum, but it's still quite recognizable as the Lorraine Motel).

The next morning - on Saturday, now a week after we were married - we left Memphis and headed back to Calhoun. To get there we decided to go through Mississippi and Alabama. Lo and behold the route included Tupelo: Elvis's birthplace! So of course to make our pilgrimage complete we had to stop and see the place. Here's Lisa at the historical marker outside Elvis's childhood home:

Here are some photos inside the place...

And here's Lisa and I on the front-porch swing...

And that's pretty much how we spent a good part of the second half of our honeymoon: paying our respects to the life of Elvis Presley. From the time I left Reidsville for the wedding, until we got to Memphis, it was roughly one thousand miles (hence the title of this post). Considering that our wedding had included wacky music, Star Wars action figures, and a garter snake, I suppose it was a quiet enough way to wind things down :-)

So, too all of my friends who are reading this: considering that this is the 30th anniversary of his passing, should or should I not likewise pay tribute to the the King by posting a YouTube video of myself "doing Elvis"? :-P

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