Review of HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

As my good friend Phillip Arthur is fond of saying: WOWZERS!!!

You know, I can't wait to see what Guillermo del Toro does with the film version of The Hobbit. No doubt it's going to be a magnificent prequel to Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy. But del Toro really, seriously can't get to work on Hellboy III soon enough. I've thought of that all night after seeing Hellboy II: The Golden Army: one of those very rare sequels that in many ways is better than the original.

2004's Hellboy (based on the Dark Horse comic created by Mike Mignola) was something that came in under my radar when it was first released, that I barely knew anything about... and it ended up knocking my socks off. I thought it was one of the best comic book movies ever made, and it made me something of a fan of Hellboy and his world. It was dark, funny, full of crazy occult stuff that could destroy reality as we know it, packed with strange and offbeat characters fighting evil incarnate... you know, it was kinda like my own life now that I think about it. It was also my introduction to the Lovecraftian imagination of Guillermo del Toro, which compelled me to see Pan's Labyrinth last year (one of the most haunting and beautiful movies that I've ever seen, and I really don't know if I could bear to watch it again). That Hellboy also featured Ron Perlman - one of the finest actors of our generation, and one deserving more appreciation if you ask me - certainly helped, too.

Well, del Toro has been tapped to direct The Hobbit, but first he wanted to go back to the Hellboy universe. The result is not only a worthy sequel, but an example of what is possible when a filmmaker is trusted for his vision and is rewarded with freedom and a handsome bankroll. And for what it's worth, I think that del Toro and his crew have produced one of the best movies of what has by and large been an excellent summer movie season.

Del Toro worked with Hellboy creator Mike Mignola on the story, which begins with a quick synopsis of how Hellboy came to our world in the final days of World War II. We are then treated to a scene at a military base on Christmas Eve, circa 1955. A very young Hellboy is being scolded by adoptive father Professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt, reprising his role from Hellboy) for not brushing his teeth and watching Howdy Doody when he should be in bed for when Santa comes. Hellboy demands a bedtime story, and the Professor reads to him a tale of an ancient war between humans and the "mythical" creatures like the Elves. One day a Goblin offers to make an invincible mechanical army for the King of the Elves, complete with a golden crown to control 'em all. The army works too well, and the King makes peace with the Humans, has the army locked away and the crown split into three pieces and humans entrusted with one of them. Hellboy thinks it's a good story. And if that's all it was, then there's nothing to be afraid of. Except it turns out that the story is very real...

Fast-forward to more than sixty years later, and Hellboy (still considered something of a "young punk" 'cuz of his strange metabolism) is having it out with both on-again/off-again pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz and Agent Manning (again played by Selma Blair and Jeffrey Tambor, respectively). Liz can't stand how Hellboy keeps his room such a mess, and generally wants him to grow up. And Hellboy's antics in public - including letting footage of himself wind up on YouTube - are driving Manning up the walls as he tries to keep Hellboy and everything else about the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense a classified secret. Hellboy, Liz and Abe Sapien (Doug Jones, who also plays two other roles in the film) are dispatched to an auction house in Manhattan: the scene of an unholy situation. During a fight with something that will probably give many viewers lots of nightmares, Hellboy's existence "accidentally" becomes revealed before live television news crews and dozens of onlookers armed with camera phones. In the wake of the publicity fiasco, the honchos in Washington send Johann Krauss: a new agent who's a stickler for protocol and boasting an attitude to match... in spite of not having a real physical body.

Okay, that's as far as I'll go so far as the plot goes. Like everything else that's good, it's best if you go in as unaware as possible.

I thought that one of the best things about Hellboy was the characters, the actors who played them and how the story served to explore and develop these people, instead of reducing them to mere plot devices to show off some pretty eye candy. Del Toro and Mignola have not only continued that successful formula with Hellboy II, they have drastically improved upon it... to the point that there are scenes in this movie that brought tears to the eyes of many that I saw it with tonight (heck, I'll admit shedding a few too during one scene). Ron Perlman brought Hellboy to life in the first installment but here he really gets his chance to shine as the deep and intense... and when needed, hilarious... actor that he is. I hope that it will be appreciated when I also say that Selma Blair's Liz is one of the better realized female characters from a comic book movie of the past several years. And after becoming such a fan of Abe Sapien in the first movie, I thought that Doug Jones's return to the role was nothing short of sheer delight! Luke Goss is terrific as the Elvish prince Nuada, and Anna Walton as his twin sister Nuala comes across as enchanting (a word that I don't use nearly enough). Jeffrey Tambor's Agent Manning was someone that I came to like quite a bit in Hellboy, and I thought that del Toro and Mignola gave him just as much a stronger role in this sequel as they did with the other characters. Also look for Roy Dotrice as the Elvish King Balor. Those of you who were fans of CBS's hour-long drama Beauty and the Beast years ago will no doubt smile at the irony, since Dotrice appeared in that show as Father alongside Perlman's Vincent.

The real breakout character of Hellboy II: The Golden Army though is Johann Krauss, voiced by Seth MacFarlane. Please, please let there be a Hellboy III just to have Krauss return again! I thought Krauss was an absolute hoot. There's one scene in particular where he dares to kick Hellboy's butt... and he does it, too! Later on in the movie Krauss hints at how he arrived at his predicament, and the sad story behind it. Hopefully we will see this explored more in a further chapter.

Effects-wise, Hellboy II looks like a movie made for two or three times its $85 million budget. The scene where Hellboy fights the Elemental alone is something that will boggle the mind when one wonders "How the heck did they do that?". Danny Elfman's music supplements the action and personal struggles of the BRPD agents admirably: I'm gonna try to find it on CD for my collection. And something that surprised me quite a lot about Hellboy II: although you would think that the events of the first film would be fairly self-contained, there is quite a lot from it that winds up coming up again in Hellboy II. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the first one in order to enjoy the sequel, but let's put it this way: Hellboy II features, in my opinion anyway, a very cool reference to the Ogdru Jahad. Not to mention what we see of Hellboy through those funky glasses...

Hellboy II: The Golden Army has healthy portions of horror, humor and inter-family hijinks. It's a visual feast for the eyes, and there is even more wholesome morality at work in this movie than an unsuspecting person might probably expect from a movie with the word "Hellboy" in its title. In short: I loved it immensely. And I would not mind at all going to see it again this summer. Heartily recommended!

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Michael Bay's rejected THE DARK KNIGHT script

Just days before The Dark Knight opens in theaters, now comes word that none other than Michael Bay wrote a script for the sequel to 2005's hit movie Batman Begins. However as everyone no doubt knows, it was rejected by Warner Brothers. How would The Joker have been treated in Bay's hands? Check out the leaked pages on The Spill.com!

And special thanks to Nathan for passing it along :-)

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iPhone 3G arrives today

Endgadget has a thorough and oftentimes witty review of the latest appliance that we are told everyone wants but it's not clear if everyone really needs.

(I won't be getting one, 'cuz AT&T wireless service where we live is, well, crap.)

I do have one question though. The iPhone has been out for a year now, and this latest iteration adds 3G services and a GPS chip and now Apple has opened up the App Store that lets users add whatever nifty programs they want to deck their iPhones out with.

Okay well... does anybody actually talk to other people with their iPhone?

Like I said, it's been out for a year. I've seen plenty of 'em since their rollout last summer. When I was going through the airports on the way to Texas last year, there was no telling how many people were walking around with iPhones. But I haven't once seen anyone dialing a number and talking to another person the old-fashioned way like is usually done with a telephone.

So do you have an iPhone that you use for stuff other than e-mail and web browsing... like, say, talking into it? :-)

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More trouble than I know how to begin to describe

The United States federal government may soon be taking over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Anyone else out there know how much raw badness this portends?

Nobody I've spoken to about this in the past couple of days - and y'all might be surprised at who this includes - believes that either of these two mortgage houses is solvent. And nobody in the government seems to be talking about anything but a bailout at the expense of the taxpayers.

More shades of that "Hell Époque" thing that I wrote about back in January.

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Secret vault contains every LEGO set in history

Jesus Diaz of Gizmodo recently traveled to Denmark, home of LEGO. He visited the company headquarters and got to see something that is rarely shown to outsiders: a vault containing EVERY single LEGO set EVER produced! All of them are here: from the very first sets made of wooden bricks, to the new Indiana Jones and Batman lines. It's an absolutely amazing report, chock full of beautiful pictures. Including this one...

It's the now-legendary Galaxy Explorer from the 1979 LEGO Space collection!

I sooooooo lusted for one of those babies when I was a way wee lad!

Even if you can't easily get to Denmark and the inner sanctum of LEGO, you can visit this site which contains building instructions for every LEGO set that's hit the market. Like the X-1 Patrol Craft (right), which was the very first LEGO model that I ever received! That was back when I was 5 years old... and I'm still gettin' and buildin' 'em!

By the way, Gizmodo's Diaz had quite an extended tour of the LEGO company complex. You can read all about it here. Between the model of Kennedy Space Center made out of LEGO bricks and the "business cards" that LEGO employees carry with them, it seems like a terrific place to work at :-)

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Iraqi uranium: It was never a threat

Three times today I've been sent or otherwise directed to the following from Investor's Business Daily...

"Hear about the 550 metric tons of yellowcake uranium found in Iraq? No? Why should you? It doesn’t fit the media's neat story line that Saddam Hussein's Iraq posed no nuclear threat when we invaded in 2003. It's a little known fact that, after invading Iraq in 2003, the U.S. found massive amounts of uranium yellowcake, the stuff that can be refined into nuclear weapons or nuclear fuel, at a facility in Tuwaitha outside of Baghdad. In recent weeks, the U.S. secretly has helped the Iraqi government ship it all to Canada, where it was bought by a Canadian company for further processing into nuclear fuel --- thus keeping it from potential use by terrorists or unsavory regimes in the region. This has been virtually ignored by the mainstream media. Yet, as the AP reported, this marks a 'significant step toward closing the books on Saddam's nuclear legacy.' Seems to us this should be big news. After all, much of the early opposition to the war in Iraq involved claims that President Bush 'lied' about weapons of mass destruction and that Saddam posed little if any nuclear threat to the U.S. This more or less proves Saddam in 2003 had a program on hold for building WMD and that he planned to boot it up again soon... Saddam acquired most of his uranium before 1991, but still had it in 2003, when invading U.S. troops found the stuff... That means Saddam held onto it for more than a decade. Why? He hoped to wait out U.N. sanctions on Iraq and start his WMD program anew. This would seem to vindicate Bush's decision to invade."

No, it does not.

This type of uranium was never weapons grade, and was under constant seal and supervision of the International Atomic Energy Agency. For the most part it was leftover from Iraq's foray into nuclear power (which didn't get far) but some of it was also medical waste.

Had Saddam tried to touch the stuff to make a nuclear weapons program out of it, it would have raised red flags bigtime and everyone would have been parked on his front lawn to demand that he stop.

If Saddam seriously wanted a nuclear weapons program, he should have never invaded Kuwait. But that's another story...

Uranium by itself is not fuel for a nuclear warhead. It takes a lot of processing to make it useful as a weapon. And I don't know if Iraq had either the technical means or the expertise to have even begun to attempt such a thing.

I've spoken with a lot of people in the field of nuclear engineering in the past few days and each of them has shared similar sentiments.

I've already shared this with one friend today. As I told her then, I'm not trying to "pick an argument" with anyone. But those are pretty much the facts of the matter. And it's better to educate people about what uranium can and can't do on its own, rather than give in to fear and worse: political convenience.

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TRANSFORMERS concept art includes unused aircraft carrier

A year ago the big movie in theaters was Transformers, which Yours Truly may have become overwhelmed with enthusiasm about especially in regards to its awesome orchestral score :-) If you couldn't get enough the first time, right now production is under way on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (I'm still saying Michael Bay is trying to fake us out with that title) and it'll hit screens next June. Meanwhile...

Tim Flattery and James Clyne have just published on their respective websites some of the concept art that they came up with for the first Transformers movie. Clyne's work includes some terrific depictions of Megatron being held captive by Sector 7 and Scorponok's attack on the SOCCENT survivors. Flattery's art features a lot of paintings of the often-mentioned aircraft carrier Transformer (said to have been a Decepticon) that Bay wanted to use in the first movie...

Maybe it's a good idea the aircraft carrier wasn't used: the poor guy in that picture probably needed some clean underwear after seeing that thing rising out of the water :-P

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Tons of details emerge about Rock Band 2

In the past few days lots of confirmed (and some not quite confirmed but it's looking good) info has come out about Rock Band 2, Harmonix and MTV Games' follow-up to last year's smash hit music game Rock Band.

According to a press release by Harmonix, Rock Band 2 is going to be completely backward compatible with the peripherals and downloaded songs from Rock Band. Which is good news for people like those of us in the Knight household who have been purchasing dozens of new tracks through Xbox Live Marketplace (speaking of which, Lisa and I have gotten pretty good at Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville").

And speaking of instruments, Ars Technica has word that Rock Band 2 is going to boast much improved hardware, like a wireless drum set (with metal-reinforced pedal) and a far better guitar - also wireless - than the one that came packaged with Rock Band. I've been using the controller from Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock since my birthday: hopefully the strum bar on the Rock Band 2 guitar has been made sturdier than the original. I'm hearing mixed word about whether the microphone will be wireless but most likely it'll still connect via USB cable (so don't go too wild, unless you want to tear apart your entertainment center :-) There's also going to be a Drum Trainer mode that is being touted as something that can teach a person how to play the real thing.

The most-requested feature since Rock Band came out has been a World Tour mode that lets you play with friends in remote locations. Folks, Harmonix listened and Harmonix responded: Rock Band 2 will feature Online World Tour that lets you form a band with friends no matter how far away (so long as they're on Earth 'course) and challenge other groups to a virtual battle of the bands.

Here's a cool feature: player-created characters will now be able to play on more than just one kind of instrument. And... word is that you will be able to both play an instrument and sing at the same time! Time to get a mike stand (provided Harmonix doesn't pack one in the Rock Band 2 box, which it wouldn't surprise me if they did). There will also be pre-packaged characters, for those who want to jump in the game right out of the box... although as much fun as we have with our on-screen avatars in The Knight Shift (yeah that's the name of our band) I'm betting the desire to stay with the pre-configs will be fleeting. There will also be a lot more clothing, accessories, hairstyles and tattoos that you can deck your 'toon out with. Stuff.tv is also reporting that you'll be able to print up posters and other goodies of your band characters through the Rock Band website.

And then there are the songs. In addition to all the downloadable tracks from Rock Band (and I'm hearing that future tracks will be compatible with both Rock Band and Rock Band 2, not to mention the rumor going around that Harmonix is going to offer the entire tracklist from the original Rock Band disc as a free download) there will be more than 80 tracks - all master recordings - on the Rock Band 2 disc. The ones confirmed so far include "Give It Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Pump It Up" by Elvis Costello (a performer that a lot of Rock Band players have wanted to be represented), "Anyway You Want It" by Journey, and a bunch others. And Harmonix is saying that plenty more tracks will be on the way via download.

Can't wait to get this! Rock Band is the most-played game at our place, and every time we have guests visiting the guitars and drums inevitably get brought out for a jam session, sometimes lasting for hours! I think that Harmonix is definitely evolving the Rock Band brand in the right direction: not so much as a "franchise" but more of a platform on which to keep building and getting better. Hopefully by the time we have kids old enough, Rock Band 7 will be out :-)

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Robot beating humans at air hockey

EETimes.com has an article about a robot that plays air hockey against humans... and is playing it very well.

Here's video of the robot in action...

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Chuck Baldwin: Today's Christians have no real faith

In his latest essay, Chuck Baldwin - pastor and the Constitution Party's candidate for President - presents a very strong case that in spite of their words, most of today's Christians... do not truly place their faith in God at all, but rather put their faith in their own understanding and the schemes of this world.

Writes Baldwin...

Most everyone, including Christian people, realize that our country is in a mess. They readily agree that a divine healing is needed. They even use the great stories and examples of the Bible to teach our boys and girls how to obey and trust God. They extol the examples of Daniel, the three Hebrew children, Simon Peter and the Apostles, etc. They use these stories to illustrate the importance of putting obedience to God and God's principles above the machinations and demands of men.

When it comes to voting for and supporting candidates who have proven themselves to be unfaithful to the fundamental principles of liberty and good government, however, these same Christians suddenly become enamored with "the lesser of two evils," and pragmatism. Doing right gives way to being "practical," and standing for principle gives way to "not throwing my vote away."

Had Daniel been "practical," he would have stopped praying for a few weeks and stayed out of the lions' den. Had the three Hebrew children been "pragmatic," they would have given a symbolic bow to the statue of Nebuchadnezzar. And I can just hear Christians living in the First Century talking about how they would vote for Nero over Caligula, as he would be "the lesser of two evils."

There's more at the above link. It's a damning article. It should be a damning article! It's something that should be read by every professing follower of Christ throughout America especially, since too many of us do opt to "vote for the lesser of two evils" instead of embracing and using the freedom that God has given us.

As a friend of mine said awhile back, "No real Christian given completely to God could vote for Obama, or McCain, or Clinton, and no real Christian could ever have voted for George W. Bush."

I agree.

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Coming soon...

The investigative report that will scare the hell out of darn near everybody.

Why are some people in this area now packing heat?

Stay tuned.

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NASA unveils final Space Shuttle flight schedule

There are ten more missions for the Space Shuttle fleet, as NASA has revealed the final slate of missions before the system is retired, after what will be 29 years of service. Endeavour is set to be the last one that will launch, with a mission scheduled for May 31, 2010 to bring spare parts to the International Space Station.

After Endeavour lands, NASA plans to begin using the new Ares launch vehicle (currently in preparation for testing), which will be carrying the Orion crew module. In the meantime, the station will be serviced by Japanese, ESA and Russian craft for supplies. Including the Soyuz, which it's safe to say has gained far more respect in recent years than it ever had before in its long and admirable history... which predates the American-made Space Shuttle by fifteen years!

I've got mixed feelings about seeing the Space Shuttle program retired. On one hand, it fulfilled the role that it was meant to play. But then, I wonder if maybe we came to rely on the Space Shuttle too much, and got lulled into complacency with it. It's like this: sending men and women into low-Earth orbit is always going to be a thrilling albeit risky venture. But it's not real manned space exploration. The last time we could say that we did that was Apollo 17 in 1972: the last time man walked on the Moon.

Maybe going back to the basics with Ares and Orion will be a better thing than we yet realize.

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My wife, the political activist and teachers advocate

A few months ago my wife Lisa shared on her own blog her thoughts and experiences about the problems with the federal government's teacher loan forgiveness. She's received quite a bit of correspondence since then from teachers all over the country who have experienced similar frustrations.

Well, now Lisa is taking it an extra mile further by directly petitioning not only her own senators and governor, but some of those who created the legislation that led to this. You can read the full text of the letter she has sent out here.

Wouldn't it be neat if we wound up seeing Lisa testifying on live television before a congressional committee in Washington D.C.? :-)

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Video tribute to Uga VI

Uga VI was laid to rest at Sanford Stadium on the campus of University of Georgia last week. Uga VII has been picked already and will be revealed later this summer. Don't worry though: word is that the next to the throne is a pup sired by Uga VI, so the line that stretches all the way back to Uga I will continue.

In the meantime, there have been many tribute videos to Uga VI that I've found on YouTube. Here's one of them, accompanied by some classic Ray Charles music...

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Happy 10th anniversary to TheForce.net!

It was ten years ago today - on July 8th, 1998 - that TheForce.net, considered by many to be the best and most-visited Star Wars fan-operated website on the Internet, was born.

(Okay, if we're going to get technical it was actually spawned in 1996 as the "Star Wars Site At Texas A & M" by roomies Scott Chitwood and Darin Smith. But TheForce.net became its very own "fully armed and operational battle station" ten years ago today.)

I spent more than two years as an active staff member of TheForce.net, from winter of 2000 on through a little after getting married in 2002. That was the time when Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones was in production. And if I tried sharing all the crazy "war stories" that I saw happen in that time, it would become the biggest post in the entire 5-some year history of this blog. To have been part of TheForce.net staff during production of a Star Wars movie was almost like being involved in a very wacky world of political intrigue, deep-cover espionage and the occasional threat of litigation... all regarding a science-fiction film franchise! And most of that stuff I'm still keeping to a vow of secrecy on.

Three things that I'll share here that I remember from my time there. The first was when the reports got out that boy band 'N Sync had filmed a cameo appearance (reputedly as Jedi Knights fighting in the arena battle) for Star Wars Episode II. I was the editor of the TheForce.net's Humor section at the time. In one day, Humor's e-mail address got slammed with more than five hundred 'N Sync-related jokes... to say nothing of all the artwork that came flooding in! I still have it and everything else pertaining to my time on TheForce.net backed up on spare hard drives. Someday I'll show it to the kiddies :-)

The second was, of course, when I used TheForce.net to propose to my wife Lisa (the original picture went missing from the site during an upgrade, but I've still got it).

And the third was what I have come to regard as TheForce.net's finest hour. The day when the staff and readers of the site became more than fans or friends: we became family. It began one Tuesday morning in September, 2001. In the hours and days following the 9/11 attacks, TheForce.net's message board became a rallying point for those with loved ones in New York City and Washington. People used the forum to make sure that others that they knew were okay. I wish I could say that everyone was accounted for... but that wasn't to be. Among TheForce.net's readers were people trapped in the World Trade Center and some of the firefighters and other rescue workers who died trying to save lives that day. Still others relayed eyewitness accounts of what happened: one friend from the site was walking on the street right below the first tower that was hit, and she had to run for cover in a nearby subway entrance to escape the falling debris.

It was one of those moments that either sadly or fortunately are all too few, when you realize that what you do on the Internet really does go out to a larger world. That there are people out there who are trying to be as happy with their lives as you are. That those others that you work with and read your words, they are just as precious in God's eyes as you or anyone else.

Sobering stuff. Who'da thought that a Star Wars website could evoke so much thought? But that's always been a hallmark of TheForce.net.

Looking back, I think that TheForce.net became a very unique and wonderful part of my growth experience. Admittedly not all of it was fun: there were some times that it was a lot of hard work and frustration. There were even times when words were said among some, the kind of which that in retrospect you wish that you could take back. But through it all, there was a love and devotion to a very special mythology that, I like to think anyway, we were all trying to share an appreciation for toward others. And in our own way, this was how we tried to make the world a little better place than we found it. The time I spent with TheForce.net produced some of the best work that I ever did. I'll always be proud of that... and even more proud of the people that I got to work with.

So to Scott, Darin, Josh, Anthony, Dustin, Roderick, Helen, Carter, Jeff, Nicole, Philip, and everyone else who's worked on TheForce.net over the years, and to all the faithful readers... happy anniversary! :-)

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Quote of the day

"How can you call yourself a real camper if you don't know what a latrine is?"

-- Me, to someone who shall remain anonymous (on penalty of severe injury)

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Disney has new business: munitions!

Walt Disney World has declared that its employees will be exempt from a new Florida law allowing citizens of that state to keep personal firearms locked in their cars while at work.

And how exactly does a company like Disney - which is Florida's largest single-site employer - get around law like that?

By taking advantage of a loophole that was added to the bill just as it was approved as legislation that "creates an exception for companies whose primary business is to manufacture, use, store or transport explosives regulated under federal law."

Since Walt Disney World has a permit for the vast arsenal of fireworks it keeps on its grounds for its famous pyrotechnics shows, the company is construing that this exception can apply to them and is thus legally declaring their company to be a munitions dealer!

Maybe Disney can transfer John Locke from its Buena Vista division to oversee its new operations. After all, "You never know when a little C4 might come in handy." :-P

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