AHHHH... my eyes!!!

Older women, I have long thought, are potentially much more beautiful than younger women. As proof, I offer this recent photograph of Eartha Kitt (who for many years I have harbored a very deep admiration for):

What an amazing performer. She was the best girl to ever play Catwoman in any medium. And Miss Kitt is not only beautiful and a talented singer and actress, she's smart, too. I'll never forget hearing her give the most articulate reason that anyone made for why Bill Clinton should have been impeached: because the White House belongs to the American people, not to the President who's temporarily living there.

So now you know one of my more peculiar secrets: I think Eartha Kitt, now 81 years young, ranks high among the hottest and loveliest women in recorded history.

Now look at this photo that was taken over the weekend of Madonna, who turned 50 last week and just kicked-off her new "Sticky and Sweet" concert tour...

That is not hot. That is not beautiful. That is not sexy. Not at any age, for what it's worth.

That is just... what the Hell was Madonna thinking?!?

You know, getting older isn't a bad thing at all, even for a performance artist. The ones who have enjoyed consistently successful careers over time, they've learned how to grow and re-define themselves. David Bowie readily comes to mind. So does Bob Dylan. And Jon Bon Jovi. Trying to stay in one place in an attempt to recapture lightning in a bottle doesn't work. And it's not really fair to the fans either, who should expect new and fresh material from a talented artist, whenever that artist produces something.

Madonna has had a great career for well over twenty years now. But she needs to learn to adapt and grow, and move away from whatever it is that she was in the Eighties. She can do it. She has to do it, if she expects to sell her music to a new generation of fans.

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Bartertown? Rockingham County to mine landfill for methane to boost economy

It was reported earlier this week that officials here in Rockingham County, North Carolina have begun looking at the county landfill off N.C. 704 as a rich source of high-quality methane. The plan is to harvest the gas and use it for artistic uses - such as blacksmithing - and even for commercial purposes... such as "creating electricity". All of this is supposed to help boost the local economy.

Maybe we should turn control of Rockingham County over to this guy. He seems experienced...

"Who run Bartertown?"

"MASTER BLASTER RUNS BARTERTOWN!"

Come to think of it, the way things are going lately it might not be a bad time to pop those Mad Max movies in the DVD player. Might be a good brush-up for how lousy things are getting.

I still can't believe they're doing this with the landfill though. I mean, with all the cows in Rockingham County, that seems to be a more cost-effective source of retrievable methane, if they're hellbent on using the stuff.

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"We will need a lot more hemp before we're through."

Through a series of events that I don't care to discuss, it has come to my attention that this week has the dubious distinction of being the twenty-fifth anniversary of the release of Yor: The Hunter from the Future, claimed by many to be the most schizo and ridiculous movie ever made...

Release on August 19th, 1983 and starring Reb Brown as Yor ("My what?" is what everyone around him must ask when they hear his name), Yor: The Hunter from the Future is about a big(?) blond guy who runs around a seemingly prehistoric landscape, killing things (mostly dinosaurs). He hooks up with this chick named Kala and her "protector" Pag. Yor and Pag have to go rescue Kala from some blue-skinned cavemen. Then they wind up at a beach village that is blown up real good courtesy of a "damn talking box". And then Yor and crew wind up on a remote island run by the Overlord and his Darth Vader-looking robots. Overlord is glad that Yor has come because he needs Yor's sperm to create a better breed of androids. The movie ends with a spaceship flying away.

Now, does any of that make a lick of sense?!

I've had lots of fun mocking Yor: The Hunter from the Future over the years, like when I used this still from the movie for a Star Wars Captioning at TheForce.net Humor back in 2001. Everything about it is laughable! From the theme song ("Yor's world, he's the man!") to the horrible lines delivered so straight-faced:

"Drinking the blood of our enemies gives us strength!"

"Urgh... I prefer to stay weak then!"

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"We will need a lot more hemp before we're through."

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"I am the Overlord, ruler of my people and yours too. You are completely in my power."

And then there are the special effects. It's hard to miss the action figures used in the scene where Yor and Kala are swinging over the atomic pile. But that's nothing compared to this, possibly the greatest scene in a hundred years of movie history. It's the part where Yor kills a giant bat, then uses its carcass as a hang-glider to rescue the girl...

Don't you wish you had your own theme song that played whenever you did something, like driving out of your garage or using the bathroom?

But don't take my word for how bad Yor: The Hunter from the Future really is: Noah Antwiler has a hilarious video review of the movie on his blog. Badmovies.org also contributes considerable space to deriding Yor. Internal Bleeding couldn't resist having some fun with it either. I don't know if it's on DVD anywhere but if you want a real laugh and can track it down, you owe it to yourself to watch Yor: The Hunter from the Future at least once :-)

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The University of Georgia Mr. Potato Head

While on the road in Georgia yesterday during a bit of a business trip, I found this little guy...

Lisa spotted it in the University of Georgia catalog the other day and fell in love with it immediately. So I was able to surprise her with it when I got back last night :-)

It's actually from the "Sports Spuds" lineup, meaning it's about half the size of a standard Mr. Potato Head. But in that classic red and big "G" logo, this is sure to please any fan of Bulldogs football! Should be able to find it in a lot of places around Athens and Atlanta but if you're a Georgia alum (or just crazy about UGA) living elsewhere, you can order it from the current school catalog and if you don't have that, here's where you can buy it from Amazon!

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To a very few certain people watching this blog

"First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Parse this as you will.

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Still alive

Y'all wouldn't believe how crazy the past few days have been. And it's gonna get crazier still! Lord willing, I'll be able to report on it soon.

YES I KNOW! I still haven't done that The Dark Knight review! But it hasn't been for lack of trying. If I'm having this much trouble putting my thoughts together about this movie, I hate to think about what's gonna happen when Watchmen comes out in about six months.

More tomorrow.

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"Ain't It Good?"

Last night at Rockingham Community College the Theatre Guild of Rockingham County held its season-ending banquet, followed by the 2007-2008 Golden Guild Awards. That's the annual ceremony that honors those who volunteered during the previous season. The various award winners are chosen based on votes cast by the cast and crew of the shows.

In addition to the Best Actor and Best Actress categories, Best Production etc., there is what is called the Spirit Award. There's one given for each show during a season's run. I was told that it goes to the person who "best exemplifies enthusiasm for a show".

The last Spirit Award for the 2007-2008 Golden Guild Awards was the one for Children of Eden.

And I'm still reeling in shock after the envelope was opened and hearing "Chris Knight" announced as the winner!

I barely remember staggering on stage, and the first words out of my mouth at the podium were "Holy cow!" I quickly stammered how I'd first seen Children of Eden performed at Elon in 1998, and how I fell in love with the show and for almost ten years wanted to be part of it. How I told the producers at the audition that I knew that I couldn't sing and that I get booed off stage every time that I play Karaoke Revolution. That I just wanted to be part of this even if it meant working backstage and how thankful I was that they let me have this opportunity. I thanked my wife Lisa for supporting me, thanked God for letting me do this, thanked Mom and Dad and that I was glad that they got to come see me perform. And I said that even though he was no longer with us, I knew he was there in spirit and I thanked Gene Saunders, my drama teacher in high school and the founder of the Theatre Guild, 'cuz I definitely wanted to give this my best shot to honor his memory. And I vaguely remember getting a standing ovation 'cuz by that point, folks, I was seriously holding back the tears.

Getting to be in Children of Eden was not only the fulfillment of a dream, it became one of the greatest experiences of my life. And the best part of that was getting to know so many wonderful people. Making not just new friends, but becoming part of a terrific family: people who know and love and stand beside each other through thick and thin. To receive the Spirit Award for Children of Eden from these people... well, that has to rank right up there with Eagle Scout and marrying Lisa for lifetime achievement in my book :-)

Here I am with the Spirit Award for Children of Eden...

Seth and Seth's Wife reunited! Me and Tish Owens, who also racked-up Golden Guild Awards for Children of Eden and Steel Magnolias...

And here's most of the people who received an award at this year's ceremony (including Pete Barr, the director of Children of Eden which won for Best Production)...

I'll throw up the complete list of who won what as soon as I can get hold of the official roster of recipients.

Thanks to Tish Owens for providing a lot of these pics.

And thanks to the cast and crew of Children of Eden for giving me this honor. 'Twould be an understatement to say that I've been immensely humbled by this.

By the way, after the Golden Guild Awards last night, Lisa and I were driving back and we decided to stop by Mom and Dad's first to show the Spirit Award to them. I couldn't think of a better song to celebrate with than to crank up "Ain't It Good?" from the Children of Eden soundtrack on my iPod over the car stereo system.

"Ain't It Good"? It is indeed :-)

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MICHAEL PHELPS IS EIGHT FOR EIGHT!

We may never see a sports moment like that ever again. Absolutely amazing.

Congratulations to Michael Phelps and the United States men's swim team at the Beijing Olympics!

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The Star Wars Church

A few weeks ago this blog reported on Darth Vader's attempt to join the Lutherans in Iceland. Now it turns out that there is an entire church devoted to Star Wars...

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MICHAEL PHELPS GETS SEVENTH!

WOW!

1/100th of a second ahead of Croatia's Milorad Cavic.

If there's a single moment that will be remembered from the Beijing Olympics, that will be it. We've been re-watching it at least a half-dozen times in slow-mo the past few minutes, and... just amazing, man!

He's now tied Mark Spitz's record of most gold medals during a single Olympiad. And tomorrow, Phelps might have one more for his collection.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE movie delayed 'til Summer '09!

Warner Bros. is pushing back the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince from it's originally scheduled date of this November... to July 17th, 2009!

Why? Officially the word is that the writers strike several months ago means that there will be a dearth of "tentpole movies" next summer and Warners wants to make up for it somehow.

It also means that by the time the adaptation of Half-Blood Prince comes out that there will have been two years since its release and the previous movie in the series, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. And it'll be two years still after that before the series finally wraps up with Part Two of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I'd hate to be the poor lady who's answering the phone at Warner Bros. when more people start hearing about this later this morning...

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We saw THE DARK KNIGHT in IMAX last night

At the Marbles Kid Museum in Raleigh. That's three times now that I've seen The Dark Knight.

So I guess there really is no excuse anymore for not having a review up already, is there? :-)

Think I finally "get" this film now. Write-up coming later today.

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Michael Phelps's secret? 12,000 calorie a day diet

And no, there is not an extra "0" in that number.

The New York Post reports on the special diet that has Michael Phelps breaking swimming records like nobody's business at the Olympics. The guy is on a staggering twelve thousand calories a day eating regimen. A typical person usually takes in around 6000 calories every day. Phelps has been nearing that amount with each meal! Mostly lots of carbohydrate-rich fare like pasta.

The boy better figure in some Wheaties too if he wants to have his picture on the front of their cereal box :-P

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Scratch that: Michael Phelps now has FIVE gold medals (and 11 overall!)

Right after my last post, Michael Phelps shattered another world record and earned his fifth gold medal at the Beijing Olympics. That's now eleven gold medals overall across two Olympiads, firmly cementing his place as the winningest Olympic competitor ever.

If he goes on winning gold in the rest of his events, Phelps will not only make his own record all the more unreachable but he'll break Mark Spitz's record of having earned seven gold medals in a single Olympiad.

Do it, dude!

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MOST GOLD EVER: Phelps wins 200 meter butterfly for 4th medal at Beijing Games!

Butterfly is perhaps the most strenuous stroke of competitive swimming. And Michael Phelps won the 200 meter butterfly with a time of 1:52:03 early Wednesday morning at the Beijing Olympics.

Phelps is now the most-winning Olympic athlete in history: ten gold medals so far in his career, with four in Beijing alone. And he's got a chance to bring home four more.

Go Michael! :-)

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Burger King employee takes bath... in restaurant's sink!

Mr. Unstable's parents are no doubt proud of him...

The Burger King in Xenia, Ohio is minus a bunch of employees and one manager tonight because this guy decided to cleanse himself with a bubble bath in the restaurant's dish sink! The location's operators have thrown out all the utensils that came in contact with "Mr. Unstable", and have said that the sink has been sanitized twice. I've heard at least one person suggest that perhaps the entire Burger King be razed and burned and the ground sown with salt.

If you must (and you probably must) here's the complete video showing the now-unemployed Mr. Unstable taking his bath in the sink...

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Full-size Lancer from GEARS OF WAR on sale at Amazon

Here's one for the "Things We Don't Really Need But Are Lusting For Badly" file...

The Amazon.com exclusive Gears of War 2 Lancer. Full-sized replica of the workhorse weapon used by Marcus Fenix and the Delta Squad, right down to the bloodied chainsaw bayonet. Squeeze the trigger to activate the chainsaw sound effects and vibrating action. It also features a removable clip.

Retail price: $139.99 and that isn't stopping it from currently being the #1 video game item at Amazon.

Think I'll just get the game instead :-)

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