Willy Wonka's Tunnel of Hell... reversed!

Kinda makes you wonder what Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would have been like had David Lynch made it...

THAT's gonna leave a mental scar! :-P

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TRICK 'R TREAT is out on DVD (and Blu-ray too) this week!

Oh geez... how did this one slip under my radar?

I'm going to always think of myself as one lucky son of a gun for having the extremely rare opportunity of enjoying Michael Dougherty's Trick 'R Treat the way it was meant to be seen: on a big screen with a huge crowd of fellow film fans (it was at Butt-Numb-A-Thon 9 two years ago). And we were told then that Trick 'R Treat was supposed to have been released last year in time for Halloween... but for whatever reason the suits at Warners quashed what would have been a fall box-office bonanza.

But at last, however it came to be, Trick 'R Treat can be enjoyed by the wide audience it deserves.

Slash here for the link to Amazon.com where you can purchase the DVD of Trick 'R Treat. I'm not earning any coin from this pitch. All I'm getting is satisfaction of knowing that I'm doing my part to spread the word about an amazing lil' horror film, one that those of us who saw it in 2007 knew was the stuff of modern classic. Check it out, however you can!

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The most scariest words that people all too often hear from me...

I have an idea.

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Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize

Why?

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My commercial was on THE JAY LENO SHOW?!?

I'm getting MULTIPLE reports that my school board campaign commercial from 2006 was featured on The Jay Leno Show on NBC tonight! I didn't get to see it: 'tis been a very busy evening, including auditioning for a community theater production and then grabbing some dinner. When I got back, the e-mail box had lit up like a Christmas tree.

Suffice it to say, I'm very interested in watching this to see how it played out :-)

Thanks to everyone who's been sending in the nice e-mails about it. And if you're just now finding this blog because of Jay Leno running my ad: welcome! Hope you'll like what you find here :-)

EDIT: Last night's The Jay Leno Show is now up on Hulu! Hit the link and go to about 36 minutes into the show.

The entire segment is hilarious! :-)

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John Elway denounces you as a terrorist, citizen!

So according to former Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway in this video produced with the Department of Homeland Security, you are a potential terrorist if you: have guns, use binoculars, take pictures, use e-mail, talk on the telephone, give to charity, buy gold, look at the time on your watch, and plenty of other things that you otherwise would never have thought would be incriminating behavior.

Behold our government's latest performance of Security Theatre:

This is more than ridiculous. The people of Colorado and all Americans should feel insulted by their own government, that it would even suggest that we are as cowed and paranoid as this video suggests. What the #&@$ was Elway thinking when he agreed to help make this crap?

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NASA will bomb the Moon tomorrow

(Sounds like a Weekly World News headline, don't it? :-)

I'm praying that we will keep having clear skies until later tomorrow, 'cuz at around 7:30 a.m. EDT (and 4:30 in the morning for y'all on the West Coast) NASA's LCROSS mission will literally "shoot the Moon".

LCROSS - short for "Lunar CRater Observing and Sensing Satellite -is looking for frozen water and other potentially cool stuff (no pun intended) that might be lurking in the shadows of Luna.  Tomorrow morning LCROSS will release a heavy projectile probe.  Not long afterward the probe will impact around the crater Cabeus A near the Moon's south pole, and the expectant plume of vapor, dust and debris will be analyzed by the LCROSS main satellite (its orbit will carry it through the hoped-for cloud).

And depending on how much good junk gets kicked up we might be able to see this from Earth!  I'm gonna be outside tomorrow morning with my trusty 3-inch refractor and a good pair of binoculars.  But some are also saying that this might be briefly visible with the naked eye.  If nothing else, NASA TV has a streaming video feed online where you can watch it live wherever you happen to be, and there's also the official NASA page for LCROSS's mission profile.

"To the Moon, Alice! RIGHT TO THE MOON!"

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Edgar Allan Poe finally getting proper funeral (160 years later!)

Awright, before anyone get's too freaked-out: that is not the real Edgar Allan Poe in a pine box! But it is an incredibly life (or death)-like simulation created by Baltimore-based effects wiz Eric Supensky, commissioned by Jeff Jerome (looking on "Edgar"'s body) of the Poe House and Museum.

A hundred and sixty years after Poe's ignoble death and hasty funeral, the father of modern horror is about to get the funeral that he's always deserved. The Poe House has held public viewings of "Poe" this week, which will culminate in a true period-style funeral this coming Sunday...

Poe's cousin, Neilson Poe, never announced his death publicly. Fewer than 10 people attended the hasty funeral for one of the 19th century's greatest writers. And the injustices piled on. Poe's tombstone was destroyed before it could be installed, when a train derailed and crashed into a stonecutter's yard. Rufus Griswold, a Poe enemy, published a libellous obituary that damaged Poe's reputation for decades.

But on Sunday, Poe's funeral will get an elaborate do-over, with two services expected to draw about 350 people each - the most a former church next to his grave can hold. Actors portraying Poe's contemporaries and other long-dead writers and artists will pay their respects, reading eulogies adapted from their writings about Poe.
"We are following the proper etiquette for funerals. We want to make it as realistic as possible," said Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum.

Advance tickets are sold out, although Jerome will make some seats available at the door to ensure packed houses. Fans are travelling from as far away as Vietnam...

The body will lie in state for 12 hours Wednesday at the Poe House, a tiny rowhome in a gritty section of west Baltimore. Visitors are invited to pay their respects.

Following the viewing will be an all-night vigil at Poe's grave at Westminster Burying Ground. Anyone who attends will have the opportunity to deliver a tribute.
On Sunday morning, a horse-drawn carriage will transport the replica of Poe's body from his former home to the graveyard for the funeral.

Actor John Astin, best known as Gomez Addams on TV's "The Addams Family," will serve as master of ceremonies.

"It's sort of a way of saying, 'Well, Eddie, your first funeral wasn't a very good one, but we're going to try to make it up to you, because we have so much respect for you,"' said Astin, who toured as Poe for years in a one-man show.

The service won't be a total lovefest, however. The first eulogy will come from none other than Griswold.

"People are asking me, 'Jeff, why are you inviting him? He hated Poe!"' Jerome said. "The reason is, most of these people defended Poe in response to what he said about Poe's life, so we can't have this service without having old Rufus sitting in the front row, spewing forth his hatred."

Eulogies will follow from actors portraying, among others, Sarah Helen Whitman, a minor poet whom Poe courted after his wife's death, and Walt Whitman, who attended the dedication of Poe's new gravestone in 1875 but didn't feel well enough to speak. Writers and artists influenced by Poe, including Arthur Conan Doyle and Alfred Hitchcock, will also be represented.

"Annoyed as I am with Baltimore sometimes, I have to give them credit," said Philadelphia-based Poe scholar Edward Pettit, who argues his city was of greater importance to Poe's life and literary career. "Baltimore has done an awful lot to maintain the legacy of Poe over the last 100-some years."

Look under the floorboards here for more about Poe's fitting final farewell!

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Dell closing Winston-Salem planet

The state of North Carolina and local governments ponied-up $208 million in tax incentives and other deals in order to entice Dell to open up its huge manufacturing plant in Winston-Salem. The place has only been in operation since 2005 and employs nearly a thousand people.

Starting next month and on through the holidays, all of 'em are gonna be looking for new jobs.

Dell announced today that its Winston-Salem factory will be shut down, even though this heinously violates the agreements between Dell and the governments here when Dell first arrived.

How the hell did this happen?

And I hate to say "I told you so" buuuuuuttt... this is so way part of why I despise "economic incentive" deals that local governments use to lure potential businesses to their area. It's not only ethically wrong, but there is no guarantee for success. If governments want to bolster the economy, they should slash taxes across the board for everyone: both individuals and corporate. That is why our manufacturing economy keeps relocating overseas and why a lot of companies have become loath to set down new roots in this country.

But, all of this is academic. Tonight, 905 people in this area are realizing that they will no longer have a job come Christmas.

If any of them are reading this: y'all are in our thoughts and prayers.

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Wednesday morning musing

Modern wisdom is posterity's comedy.

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Google celebrates birth of the bar code

And they do it the only way that those sly minds at Google could do it: by rendering "Google" into a UPC symbol for the day!

Scan here for more about the history of the ubiquitous barcode.

But of course, this day couldn't go by without a mention of what remains, more than thirty years later, the funniest/most spiteful UPC symbol of all time: the cover of MAD Magazine #198!

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I'm a "Creep"

This was the scene last night at Backstreet Buzz Coffee House in Reidsville during karaoke, when I performed Radiohead's hit song "Creep"...

(Incidentally, it's a version without the "f" words, like the "Creep" you play in the video game Rock Band.)

Much like my infamous rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody", this wasn't done while trying to emulate the emotion of the original: it was just for fun (but I might attempt a more "serious"-feeling performance sometime).

Backstreet Buzz is at 234 SW Market Street in Reidsville, North Carolina. Karaoke every Monday night and live local talent performing quite often throughout the week. And the food is excellent!

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First pic of Seth Rogen as THE GREEN HORNET (and something I'm dying to know about this movie...)

Here's the first photo of Seth Rogen in costume from the upcoming The Green Hornet movie...

Hmmm... dunno. Nicolas Cage has already bowed out of this project, on grounds that the villain he was set to play was too "one-dimensional". And Rogen's duds look too much like a cosplay getup.

But here's what I'm really wondering most of all about The Green Hornet movie: will the connection to the Lone Ranger be touched upon?

If so, and if done respectfully, this film could have a great tone to it. And if you're wondering just what the heck I'm talking about, then use your mouse (or your finger if you're using an iPhone) to swipe over the "Inviso-Text" and discover the secret if you want to be potentially spoiled:

BEGIN POTENTIAL SPOILER (highlight to read) Okay, here goes: the Green Hornet is the grand-nephew of the Lone Ranger! Britt Reid's father was Dan Reid, the nephew of John Reid (the Lone Ranger) who often rode with his uncle on adventures throughout the old west. And according to legend, the Green Hornet had the ORIGINAL mask of the Lone Ranger sewn into the brim of his hat, making the Green Hornet the modern-day continuation of John Reid's legacy. Isn't that the awesomest thing?! Now, I defy anyone to tell me that this shouldn't make it into Sony's movie! END POTENTIAL SPOILER

Could The Green Hornet be so daring as to include that? I'd gladly buy a ticket for this movie if it were...

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MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS is forty years old today!

Says what it means. Means what it says.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, here is the obligatory "Dead Parrot" sketch...

Think I'll pop in Monty Python and the Holy Grail on my DVD player (one of the first DVDs that I ever bought) later tonight :-)

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Windows 7 to come in Steve Ballmer signed edition

Can you imagine the "Mac vs. PC" ads that Apple is gonna think up for this one? But it's true: Microsoft is releasing a "Steve Ballmer edition" of the Windows 7 operating system, emblazoned with the signature of Microsoft's CEO. There's a catch though: it's only for those who host Windows 7 house parties (uhhh... a house party for the launch of an OS?). Also inside the Windows 7 party kit are: "balloons... Windows 7 tote bags... Windows 7 branded napkins, a puzzle pack, the pieces come together to form a wallpaper image from Windows 7... a pack of Windows 7 playing cards, a color poster" and of course the black box containing Windows 7 itself.

Okay, sounds nifty. But it would have been even more awesome if Microsoft also sweetened the deal by throwing in a Steve Ballmer-signed office chair.

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Okay, I am compelled to ask...

Why is Johnny Robertson dressed like Batman tonight?

(Some have written to me asking if that's a bulletproof vest that Robertson is wearing on his show this evening. Hey, that might be. I've certainly never seen a getup like that worn on live TV before...)

Secondly, does anyone seriously trust any statistics that Robertson and his bunch produce as "evidence"? These people have lied about everything conceivable. Robertson could claim that he's hired Gallup to run a poll, and he still couldn't be believed.

And at the moment Robertson is running that clip that I posted on YouTube a little over a year ago.

It's not just my opinion: Robertson's broadcasts are descending into madness. And that's not the local view either: as far away as Pepperdine University (a Church of Christ-affiliated college, interestingly enough) in California, Johnny Robertson and his cult are being derided and condemned as "slimy, quackish, and frauds".

Now, who are we to believe: students who are paying to attend a Church of Christ school, or "students" that Johnny Robertson is paying to attend his own "Church of Christ school"?

Strange days, friends...

EDIT 1:15 p.m. EST 10/05/2009: Some new information has been put forth regarding what Robertson was harping on about last night in regards to the incident this past Friday night between Robertson's son/follower Micah Robertson and the staff of BTW 21(also in Martinsville). On a forum devoted to Martinsville and Henry County discussion BTW 21's Chad Hall reports that...

"not sure if yall watched Johnny do-right last night but he took an event out of context. His son Miach [sic] follwed us around forever. We couldnt move without him tailing us and not sure why. my guess is to provoke us to do something so they can have a filed day with it, so we obliged. These men are bent to make evil out of a sitation... We were not doing anything wrong and was being tailed for no reason except to cause a response. I guess when your ratings are down you resort to desperate measures."

If true, then it doesn't sound like an unwarranted provocation at all. Seems like once again Johnny, Micah and the "Church of Christ" cult went out of their way to instigate something.

It also throws what Johnny Robertson was going on about last night into a whole new light also: he was comparing my attempt to take him at his word outside the WGSR studio in June 2008 with what happened to Micah at the football game over the weekend. Well, I didn't follow Robertson into the studio that night. And as a matter of fact, as my own footage shows, Robertson certainly took it upon himself to exit the studio and come to me prior to his show's live broadcast. If he didn't want that, he should have just stayed inside. Hey, I understood then that he'd bought the airtime for his own show: I wasn't going to violate that by "raiding" his slot. But isn't that what Micah Robertson did at the football game? Chad and his crew paid fair rental for seats at the stadium in order to attend an event on their own time: nobody in that kind of circumstance deserves to be hounded and harassed by anyone... and much less by sociopathic cult members!

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THE TWILIGHT ZONE is 50 years old this weekend!

On October 2nd, 1959, CBS premiered a new television series. Its creator, Rod Serling, had already established himself as a force to be reckoned with in the new medium.

But for his new show Serling had something very different in mind. Eschewing traditional drama, Serling chose an anthology format that would not only entertain, but enthrall and tantalize and, at times, utterly haunt the viewer.

So it was that on that evening, millions of viewers crossed over into The Twilight Zone for the first time.

Could this possibly be the greatest television series ever? I mean, it's hard to think of any other show that has been more influential, or had as tremendous an impact on our modern culture.

Awright, so anyone who notes the anniversary of The Twilight Zone is doubtless going to tick off his/her favorite episodes, right? Well, in no particular order some of mine are "A Most Unusual Camera" (the first episode of The Twilight Zone that I ever saw), "The Obsolete Man" (maybe the best episode that Burgess Meredith did for the series), "A Game of Pool" (one of the most solid and powerful single episodes of television ever, in my opinion), "It's a Good Life" (wigs me out every time I watch it), "Once Upon a Time" (a comic entry for the series, starring Buster Keaton), "I Sing the Body Electric" (was there a moral, or did it even really need one?) and "Nick of Time" (a story that, it goes without saying, not only could conceivably happen but has happened in one form or another throughout human history).

So... do y'all have any favorite stories from The Twilight Zone? Comment away!

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