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Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just watched the first two hours of AMC's remake of THE PRISONER

Hmmmmmm...

Well, it's unarguably not The Prisoner of Patrick McGoohan's day. And I knew that it wasn't going to be that either.

But, I think that I wound up liking it quite a bit.

Need to watch it again before tomorrow night's two-hour installment. Maybe even two or three more times.

Now you gotta admit: that is what good The Prisoner should compel you to do :-)

Tommy Burst toy commercial ("From Mattel, it's SWELL!")

There is no way that a TV commercial like this would ever be made, much less allowed to broadcast, in 2009. But once upon a time when boys were allowed to play "cops 'n robbers" there were fewer toy weapons as kewl as Mattel's Tommy Burst arsenal. For three bucks you could get the revolver and for seven you got the Detective Set complete with handgun and holster, toy bullets, badge and one neat-o machine gun!

Behold the commercial from about 45 years ago...

And if that adult looks familiar, it should: that's Hal Smith as the thief and the commercial's pitchman. Smith will forever be known as that lovable town drunk Otis Campbell on The Andy Griffith Show.

I remember about two decades ago when every Toys R Us had an aisle devoted to toy guns. Seems like we had a lot less real-life crime then than we do now. Maybe we should let children be children instead of expecting them to be miniature adults, and allow them to live out the "good guy/bad guy" fantasy. That's the kind of thing that has gone on since time immemorial and it's only been in the past number of years that the "child experts" (who never seem to have children of their own, hardly) have done their damndest to change that.

Well, anyway: it's a "swell" commercial, I think. Especially that machine gun!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Hey, live near Reidsville, North Carolina? Want a professionally-fried turkey for Thanksgiving? Read on!

Lots of this blog's readers are well aware of my obsession with/addiction to deep-fried turkey. I first heard about it nine years ago this month and then spent two more years studying the technique and getting brave enough to attempt it. With that first succulent bite in 2002, I knew that Thanksgiving would never be the same for me again. I'll never go back to basted turkey if I can help it. For me, a bird as magnificent as a turkey deserves better. Deep-frying it is the only way to honor what no less an authority than Benjamin Franklin once decreed should be our national fowl.

This is not mere "cooking" to me. This is an art! One that demands meticulous care and attention and passion. That this is also considered the second most dangerous form of preparing food known to man (after cleaning fugu) is even more extra incentive to treat turkey frying like delicate surgery. I love my work but I also know how to be really careful. I haven't been burned yet and Lord willing, I won't be anytime soon either.

Well anyway, for some reason my fried turkey has always been a smashing success for Thanksgiving and Christmas and a few other festive occasions. It's always the first thing to go at the family table. And a bunch of folks have told me over the years that I should go public with my nigh-patentable technique. That I could offer my services to others, for a reasonable fee.

I hadn't really given it much thought. But y'all know me: I'll try anything once!

If you live anywhere within driving distance of Reidsville and your mouth is already watering for one of those gloriously seasoned and deep-fried turkeys like you see me holding in that photo, fire me an e-mail at theknightshift@gmail.com and I'll get back in contact with you. Thanksgiving is a little less than two weeks away. I've already got a few orders in and can fit in some more.

And remember: you ain't just buying a turkey. You're buying confidence! Confidence that your Thanksgiving main course will be given all due diligent care, that it'll be done by an experienced pro, and that you will be risking neither your own life or house! That's a no-lose proposition folks :-)

Friday, November 13, 2009

I've gone mad for Monsterpocalypse!

A lot of you probably remember how over the summer I made this video on behalf of HyperMind - that groovy game store in Burlington - for a contest entry. It was for the Monsterpocapalooza event sponsored by Privateer Press for that company's Monsterpocalypse collectible miniatures game. Well as is usual whenever I'm about to get involved with something, I research the bejeebers out of it! I never get involved with a project regarding something new to me without giving it the hard hairy eyeball and reading everything that I can find on the subject. The store's owners gave me a copy of the Monsterpocalypse rulebook and I scoured the Internet for whatever I could find, and in the end we banged out a darn good video. It even made the top ten of the Monsterpocapalooza finalists. And I also have a nice letter from the president of the company praising how we parodied Cloverfield with it!

Along with the letter, Privateer Press also sent over some boxes of limited edition minis from the game. Between seeing how pretty those were, and observing how everyone in the store was way enjoying Monsterpocalypse, it was more than enough to entice me to give it a try. And that's how it all started...

So now five months and several booster box purchases later (in addition to scouring eBay for a few hard-to-find minis) I must confess: I am officially a Monsterpocalypse junkie.

Awright well, what exactly is Monsterpocalypse and why am I feeling obligated to sing its praises here? It's a game based around the "giant monsters" genre... and it's a heck of a lot of fun!!

Monsterpocalypse is a game between two players (although some ambitious folks have created custom maps that let four, six and even eight people play against each other). The game is played on a playmat. On each player's side of the mat there's "storage" spaces for your various units and both forms of your monster (more on that later) along with "wells" for your various dice. Taking up the bulk of the mat is the city map, arranged in a grid. At the beginning of the game players take turns putting various building figures onto the map, constructing a city that they will soon proceed to destroy.

Gameplay revolves greatly around how you use your dice. You've got ten "action dice", ten "power dice" and you can use any number of "boost dice" depending on what figure you're using and other factors. If you want to "spawn" a unit - which are classified as either grunts or elites - onto the board you have to spend a die (and it'll cost ya two dice for an elite). Want to move a unit? It'll cost ya one die. Attack with it? That'll cost ya a die as well. But "spending" means moving the dice from your unit pool to your monster pool... which will let you wreck even more carnage with your big monster. So there's not only a lot of strategic thinkin' that Monsterpocalypse calls for, but also a good sense of economics and wisely using your resources. If all that sounds too complex, don't worry: it's not. Games are usually very fast paced and most last under an hour. Hey, this is about ginormous monstrosities unleashing death and destruction, not... chess!

The object of the game is to destroy your opponent's monster. Which ain't as simple as it sounds. Ya see, you and the other player actually have two figures representing each of your respective monsters! The primary is the "alpha" form, which is what that monster looks like in its natural state. But accumulate enough power dice (earned by destroying units and brawling building into rubble) and you can switch your monster from its alpha to its "hyper" form: a bit more powerful and often with even cooler abilities than the alpha. Your goal in Monsterpocalypse is to inflict enough damage that both of the other player's monster forms have zero on their health trackers.

Monsterpocalypse came out a year ago and it's become a huge success for Privateer Press. When the game first came out it introduced its first six factions: G.U.A.R.D. (sorta like G.I. Joe or S.H.I.E.L.D. from the Marvel comics), Martian Menace (from the red planet), Lords of Cthul (my personal favorite faction, take a guess why), Terrasaurs (think Godzilla's kinfolk hooking up with radical environmentalist terrorist wackos), Planet Eaters (also a favorite) and Shadow Sun Syndicate (sorta like the Power Rangers on steroids). Last month Series 4 of the game, Monsterpocalypse Now! was released and rolled out six new factions: Elemental Champions, Tritons (a threat from the ocean), Savage Swarm (Them!? You'll wish it was just them), Subterran Uprising (molemen... really big molemen), UberCorp International (run by a thinly-veiled parody of Howard Hughes) and a group that's fast running up players' lists of most-liked factions, the Empire of the Apes (see the gun that Kong-sized gorilla is wielding? That's really a salvaged howitzer).

So, all of this sound like oodles of fun? It most certainly is! Nothing feels quite like building up a town only to thrash it to pieces with exotic weaponry and kaiju critters. And you can find Monsterpocalypse at most of your friendly local game stores. A lot of those usually have a dedicated group of players that meet regularly. I've started playing at HyperMind in Burlington on Thursday nights, and we've a good bunch that congregates there (including one particular 11-year old who handed my butt to me with his Subterrans last night despite my use of G.U.A.R.D.'s heavy air support... but he won the Mega Mantacon figure and is happy, so it's all fine :-).

One of my favorite online resources for all things Monsterpocalyse is Team Covenant and if you're looking for any particular figures, Team Covenant's online store is well worth visiting! They not only carry the starter box sets and boosters but also special bundles and some very good custom Monsterpocalypse dice that if you start getting heavy into this game you might wanna consider getting, 'cuz the blast markings on the regular dice have a tendency to "wear off" after several games. And 'course there's also eBay, that good ol' standby (and maybe your last, best hope of scoring a Mega Yasheth figure... hey, I am big into the Lords of Cthul, y'all ;-) And it goes without saying that the official Monsterpocalypse website is a must-see if you're thinking of getting into this game. Privateer Press just overhauled the site and among other things there's a gallery featuring every mini the game has to date, including stats. There's also a lively message board for players to discuss various aspects of the game.

Monsterpocalypse gets this blog's highest recommendation for entertainment worth checking out. There's a little something for players of all ages to enjoy... and they certainly do. And if you're in this part of North Carolina, drop me a line at theknightshift@gmail.com and let's see if we can hook up and play a round some evening :-)

A Dr. Horrible fan-film?! HORRIBLE TURN is pretty darned good!

While we're waiting for Joss Whedon to deliver up some more Dr. Horrible goodness, here's something that will both entertain and astound ya: Horrible Turn. It's an hour-long unofficial prequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog!

Sometime in the early Nineties, young Billy is pining for a cute Australian exchange student at his school. He's also wound up helping a fellow student named Hammerstein pass his grade. Meanwhile, a group calling itself the Evil League of Evil - led by the mysterious "Bad Horse" - has just staged its first attack on the city.

And in case you're wondering YES: Horrible Turn is a musical! The production quality is quite on par with what we saw in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog last year. Click on the link to watch Horrible Turn on YouTube or on Vimeo.

This is a photograph of the sun

Many of us in this part of North Carolina no longer remember what it looks like. There is a rumor about that today we might finally see it again.

(Curse you Hurricane Ida!)

DVD, made of stone, that lasts a thousand years


Startup company Cranberry has unveiled its DiamonDisc: a DVD that stores your data by etching it in stone... literally. The disc is composed of synthetic stone that a high-intensity laser burns the data into, creating a DVD said to be perfectly compatible with all DVD drives and players. But amazingly, Cranberry claims that the DiamonDisc will keep your data safe for a thousand years.

(Whether there will be DVD players in the year 3009 is a whole 'nother matter.)

You can send your data to Cranberry to have it burned by them. Or you can buy the DiamonDisc recorder for your own use, for the low price of $4,995. But that also gets you 150 DiamonDiscs that currently run $34.95 each when bought separately.

Personally, I think the major studios should adopt this new technology for the home market. And the first movie that gets this "recorded in stone" treatment deserves to be The Ten Commandments :-P

Man arrested for phone sex calls... to 911

The Smoking Gun has published the mug shot and police report of one Joshua Basso, a Florida man who's currently in the pokey after making numerous telephone calls to a woman, asking crude questions about her breast size and then queried her about engaging in erotic activities.

That's gonna land him in court for sure. Except that Basso also made all of his calls to 911. There's gonna be a bunch more charges against him for abusing the 911 system.

Why did he do it? Basso claimed that his LG cell phone was out of minutes and that he "called 911 because it was free".

This guy wasn't just stupid: he was stoopid!

MPAA shuts down town's entire Wi-Fi over one download

Coshocton, Ohio is a town without free Internet. Thank the Motion Picture Association of America, which successfully turned off Coshocton's Wi-Fi connection to the world because, allegedly, one person used the wireless access to download a copyrighted movie.

In addition to being of great benefit to out-of-town tourists and business people, the Coshocton County Sheriff's Department personnel have found the Wi-Fi service to be a tremendous convenience by letting then file an accident or incident report without having to leave their vehicles. That's no more, because the MPAA somehow mustered up enough power to violate the Geneva Convention and subject everyone in town to collective punishment.

(Just one more reason why the Digital Millennium Copyright Act needs to be mutilated beyond all possible recognition.)

Just typical life in Reidsville...

According to the News & Record out of Greensboro, at 3 a.m. this past Tuesday morning the South Scales Street Market here in Reidsville was robbed. Someone broke through the glass door of the store and proceeded to pilfer the place.

The assailant made of with more than $2,700 worth of cigarettes and $50 worth of condoms!

(You can insert your own clever joke here.)

I swear, more and more this town is resembling the one from Hobo with a Shotgun...

We need that guy patrolling the downtown area! :-)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

School in North Carolina caught selling grades for cash

Rosewood Middle School in Goldsboro, North Carolina is in a money crunch like many schools across the country. So like most of those schools it held a fundraiser last year, selling chocolate candy bars.

But that didn't raise anything. So with the principal's blessing, Rosewood Middle embarked on a new scheme...

The school began selling grades.

For $20, a student would be able to add 20 points to a test grade: 10 points on two tests of the pupil's choosing. Enough to raise a B to an A or possibly make a failing grade a marginally passing D.

Read all about it on the website of the News & Observer, which caught wind of the plot and ratted the school out. School administrators are now stopping the "fundraiser" and refunding any and all donations that might have been made (Rosewood Middle's principal Susie Shepherd said that the plan had elicited no money yet anyway).

Just... wow. I guess if this had gone forward that a kid with rich parents could buy himself into the Beta Club even if his grades otherwise sucked.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Charlie Chaplin stars in THE MATRIX

It could use some piano accompaniment. And the cards need some serious cleaning-up of translation. But those aside, this is still very clever: The Matrix as an old-timey silent movie featuring Charlie Chaplin!

That "dojo" scene is especially Chaplin-esque :-)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

25 days until THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER

Last night we had the first rehearsal of the fire scene for Theatre Guild of Rockingham County's production of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and it was a scream! "Well-choreographed chaos" is the best way to put it. And lo and behold, as a Fireman I get to be right in the center of it all! Some terrific hijinks ensue in just a minute or two of performance time and we more or less got it all nailed down pat last night. Well, 'cept for doing it in costume 'course.

And speaking of that, tonight the three of us in the Fireman roles dropped by a local fire department to get equipped with our firefighter's coats and pants. I'd never worn full fire gear before. The stuff is so bulky that I felt like I was wearing C.O.G. armor from a Gears of War game. And I've got to run up the aisle and onto the stage in that getup. Good times, aye?

Well, y'all will have a chance to see it all come together on December 4th, 5th and 6th. TGRC-NC.com has more details including ticket pricing and ordering. Hope to see ya there!

Second episode of ABC's new V just aired

I'm still enjoying this re-imagined V (slam here for my review of the pilot episode). ABC is doing a fine job of updating the concepts of the original. However, I'm more than a little compelled to say that this show needs to ratchet up the intensity. Tonight's episode "There is No Normal Anymore" picked up right after the end of last week's premiere, and then hit a plodding stride.

Maybe this is still just "setup" for a bigger payoff later. I hope so, because V has tons of potential. But unless there's some master arc plan in the works that we aren't aware of the show is taking its own sweet time more than Babylon 5 did, or Ronald Moore's Battlestar Galactica. It worked very well on those series and it can work just as well now, but V's showrunners need to pick up the pace bigtime, or all the interest it's enjoying now will peter out fast.

Worst recent Supreme Court decision now wasted: Pfizer abandons New London

Few things convinced me that this country has gone completely off the rails more than did Kelo v. City of New London: the horrendous decision by the Supreme Court in 2005.

To recap: the city of New London, Connecticut set about in the late Nineties to use eminent domain to seize the land of private homeowners... so that it could lure big companies like pharmaceutical giant Pfizer to the area and sell them the same property! It was the very worst example of stealing from Peter to give to Paul.

How did the elected officials of New London justify this outrageous action? By claiming that seizing the property of Suzette Kelo and other homeowners and giving it to major industry, that they would be building up the tax base of New London. It was for a "public good", ya see. At least that's how they described it.

Suzette Kelo and her neighbors took New London to court. And it reached all the way to the United States Supreme Court. And on June 23rd 2005 the Supremes ruled 5 to 4 that... New London and any municipality has the right to seize private land and sell it to other private interests!

(The five idiots - I don't dare refer to them as "honorable Justices" - who voted for this were Stevens, Kennedy, Souter, Ginsburg, and Breyer.)

So New London seized all of the property, bulldozed the houses into rubble, and went ahead with its plans to sell the land to Pfizer.

And now, Pfizer is abandoning New London, Connecticut entirely.

All that New London has to show for its efforts is a field strewn with rubble and waste. Suzette Kelo and the rest wound up with nothing at all.

If there is no such thing as respect for property rights in this country, then there is no respect for rights at all. Kelo v. City of New London had already demonstrated that. Pfizer moving out is in many ways New London adding insult to injury.

Will the lesson be heeded by others? Probably not.

Happy 40th birthday SESAME STREET!

"You've never seen a street like Sesame Street. Everything happens here. You're gonna love it."

-- Gordon (played by Matt Robinson)
the first words spoken on the first episode of Sesame Street
November 10th, 1969

Forty years ago today a new kind of television burst onto the scene. It was an educational program, but one that eschewed dour and boring lessons. Instead, fast-paced skits and high-brow humor were to be the norm.

And the cast of characters of this new show? An eclectic mix of adults, children, puppets, monsters, grouches... and one very big bird.

Forty years later and Sesame Street is still going strong! And after all this time Gordon is still right: we've never seen a street anything like Sesame Street. Everything does and has happened there.

And we're still loving it.

So you know, what better time than this to put up another classic Sesame Street video? Except I've posted so many of them already! Which one should I use?

I know: how about this classic sketch featuring Grover and Fat Blue, in which Grover recommends the "little" hamburger!

Now that's comedy!! :-)

Monday, November 09, 2009

Homeland Security is now officially worse than useless

Malik Nadal Hasan, the U.S. Army major who massacred thirteen people and injured more than forty others at Fort Hood in Texas last week, made numerous attempts to contact members of the terrorist group Al-Qaeda by e-mail...

...and the FBI and other U.S. government intelligence agencies knew all about it but did nothing! Their general consensus was that Hasan's activity wasn't important enough to investigate.

So let's ask the obvious question: WHAT THE #%@$-ING HELL GOOD IS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY?!?

No way around it: the United States government effed-up heinously. Homeland Security failed! The mechanism put in place by George W. Bush, Congress, and continued by Barack Obama SCREWED THE POOCH!

There is no more justification for the existence of the Department of Homeland Security, if it couldn't prevent something like this while knowing fully well that Hasan was apparently trying to actively conspire with the same bastards that caused the 9/11 attacks to begin with.

Ask yourself this folks: if your own government can't keep us safe from an American soldier who was seeking to collaborate with this country's enemies when it knew Hasan was trying to do so, how CAN it keep us safe from anything?

Protect yourselves. Lord knows the government can't.