"What Does Spider-Man Say?"

Many egotisticial nutcases in history have had pastimes. Fidel Castro almost made it as a professional baseball player. Charles Manson wrote songs. Even Hitler painted roses.

And apprently local cult leader Johnny Robertson of the Martinsville Church of Christ (part of what many are now calling "Sons of Hell" and "Stalkers for Jesus") is not exempt.

Here's the original photo that was sent in by "Code Name Exelsior"...

This photo was taken inside Martinsville Church of Christ's sanctuary. That's Johnny Robertson himself in the left of the picture, and fellow cultist/stalker (and partner with recently found-guilty criminal trespasser Micah Robertson) Mark McMinnis in the plaid shirt sitting down.

Have you spotted it yet? Is your "Spider-Sense" tingling?

Well if not, behold true believers!

I count at least nine and possibly more Spider-Man comic books sitting in a pile on the pews of Martinsville Church of Christ. The headquarters of the cult that puts out What Does The Bible Say?, A Word From The Lord and Religious Review on WGSR: live TV broadcasts where Robertson and his cronies do nothing but condemn everyone else for such imagined slights and sins as having church car washes and bake sales, instrumental music and books during church worship that aren't the Bible.

Yet there it is, most presumably during a worship service at Martinsville Church of Christ: a heap of Marvel Comics and within arm's reach of its head magus. And not only that but Marvel Comics featuring Spider-Man: a character whose fathers include two Jewish comic book legends (Stan Lee and Jack Kirby)! I could also note that Spidey's co-creator Steve Ditko also created Doctor Strange and worked on the New Gods at DC for awhile, so it could be argued that Johnny Robertson is also allowing "eastern religions" and pagan worship inside as he puts it "the church that you read about in the Bible".

Johnny Robertson you damn hypocrite: sit down and SHUT UP, sir!

And you thought it was bad enough that Robertson gets the Bible all twisted and convoluted. Lord only knows how he would interpret the X-Men books.

But as one trusted associate put it when I showed this photo to him: "Of course, I did wonder if comic books is where Johnny Robertson gets his theology from."

Feel free to post whatever clever and snide captions and comments you can think of!

(P.S.: Speaking of hypocrisy, why is Johnny Robertson giving more than a quarter of a million dollars of his congregation's money per year to a multiple-convicted criminal, habitual thief and bisexual purveyor of "filthy" entertainment?)

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Still the best...

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back opened in theaters thirty years ago today, on May 21st 1980.

And thirty years later, it's still the finest chapter of the entire Star Wars cinematic saga.

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Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol to hit paid lecture circuit

The more that I've examined the so-called Sarah Palin "phenomenon" the less impressed I have become with the former Alaska governor. My respect for her would shoot through the stratosphere if Palin would completely ditch the Republican Party machine and seriously "go rogue". But as it is she's too beholden to the ones who "brung her to the dance".

But the biggest reason why I'm tremendously leery of Sarah Palin isn't so much with the lady herself as it is with her followers... and what Palin isn't doing to put the brakes on what she has become: a cult of personality.

I despise cults of personality. Lord knows we've seen too many of them in this country in recent years. The cult of personality surrounding George W. Bush was abominable. It might have been even worse than the one engendered by Barack Obama. The United States has suffered three consecutive administrations of Presidents with severe narcissistic disorders: God knows we don't need another.

Now comes word that Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol Palin, is about to hit the road as a paid speaker. Price per appearance: between $15,000 and $30,000.

I don't know what's more sad: that young Bristol's qualifications for the lucrative lecture circuit comprise of little more than being her mother's daughter and getting knocked-up, or that I know fully well that there will be gads of people who will pay good money to see her talk.

Like I said: cult of personality. And there's plenty of $$$ to be made from it.

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Kevin Costner's invention could clean up BP oil spill

Before anything else in this post, I'm gonna get this off my chest: I've never understood why Waterworld has such a bad rap. I saw this movie during its first week in theaters in 1995 and thought it was pretty good. Not overwhelmingly "excellent", and the science behind it is atrocious (namely that there isn't enough water in the polar caps to cover the Earth's surface if they melted) but Waterworld was still a great action flick that has only gotten better with age.

Anyhoo, that photo is Kevin Costner at the till of his vessel in Waterworld... and not Kevin Costner at the controls of his very own real life invention: the "Ocean Therapy" water cleansing system. Who'da thunk that all this time he was making Waterworld, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Open Range, that Costner was also working behind the scenes with millions of dollars of his own money to develop the system?

Well, it now looks like Kevin Costner's innovation is going to come to the rescue of the Deepwater Challenger oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. New York Daily News has the story...

Could there be a happy Hollywood ending to the Gulf oil spill?

Enter "Waterworld" star Kevin Costner, who has spent years and millions of dollars perfecting a device that cleans oil from seawater.

British Petroleum - desperate for ideas - gave the okay to test six of Costner's gizmos this week, said BP Chief Operating Officer Doug Suttles.

Costner's high-speed centrifuge machine has a Los Angeles-perfect name: "Ocean Therapy."

Placed on a barge, it sucks in large quantities of polluted water, separates out the oil and spits back 97% clean water.

"It's like a big vacuum cleaner," said Costner's business partner, Louisiana trial lawyer John Houghtaling.

"The machines are basically sophisticated centrifuge devices that can handle a huge volume of water," he said.

The "Field of Dreams" star first got a team together to create the device in the wake of the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska.

His scientist brother, Dan Costner, helped develop the device, and together, the brothers formed Costner Industries Nevada Corp. to pursue various energy projects, including a non-chemical battery that could last 15 years.

The 55-year-old actor eventually sank $26 million into the Ocean Therapy oil separator project. He obtained a license for the device from the Department of Energy in 1993 and has been trying for years to promote it.

In 2007, he told London's Daily Mail that he had blown millions on "technologies I thought would help the world" and had nothing to show for it.

"I've lost $40 million-plus," he said. "But I knew that if I was right, it would change things in an incredibly positive way."

Last week, he was in Louisiana seeking redemption, demonstrating his Ocean Therapy contraption.

"I'm just really happy that the light of day has come to this," Costner said.

Though reporters largely greeted his ideas with snickers, BP apparently wasn't laughing.

At least 210,000 gallons of oil per day is gushing into the sea from the ocean floor where the BP rig exploded April 20. The oil company has tried several novel solutions, but none has worked so far to plug the leak.

The company is skimming the oil, spraying it with dispersant chemicals underwater and trying to burn it on the surface.

Nineteen percent of the Gulf's lucrative fisheries are closed, billions of beach tourist dollars are at stake and dozens of seagoing species are threatened.

Costner has 300 of his Ocean Therapy machines in various sizes. The largest, at 21/2 tons, is able to clean water at a rate of 200 gallons a minute - faster than the well is leaking, Houghtaling noted.

WOW!! This sounds like it could probably do a heap o' good. Gotta give Kevin Costner bigtime props for actively applying his mind and resources toward solving a problem like this. If ya ask me, that is what old-fashioned American ingenuity is all about :-)

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Pixar artist puts mean (but fun) spin on Lil' Golden Books!

Pixar animation artist Josh Cooley has been making a series of illustrations inspired by - in addition to parodying - those classic Lil' Golden Books that so many of us grew up with. And now this summer Cooley is coming out with an actual honest-to-goodness book of his work! Lil' Inappropriate Golden Book: MOVIES 'R' FUN! takes scenes from well-known R-rated movies and, ummm... "kiddifies" them.

Ever seen serial killer Buffalo Bill in a children's book? You have now!

GeekTyrant has several more of Cooley's hilarious renditions, including "children's" versions of The Godfather, Se7en and The Big Lebowski.

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Somebody is planting hand grenades at local Goodwill stores

A customer at the Goodwill Store on Peters Creek Parkway in Winston-Salem found a grenade on one of the store's shelves and tried to purchase it. The store was evacuated and bomb squad personnel came to take it away (no word yet on whether it was live ordnance).

This is the second time this week that grenades have been found at Goodwill Stores around here. On Monday a training grenade was found amid some donated clothing at the store in Mayodan.

So... what's the trend here? Some idiot kids "goofing off"?

Or perhaps we should heed the words of one Auric Goldfinger: "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

(Seriously though: if this is "terrism" this has pathetic written all over it. I mean, trying to bring chaos down in a Goodwill store?!)

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These are the mascots of the 2012 London Olympics...

When I saw these... things... the first thought that popped into mind was "If Jerry Falwell were still alive, he'd declare them both to be gay."

Kang and Kodos... errr, I mean Wenlock and Mandeville, are the official mascots of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

If nothing else, Wenlock and Mandeville will have us all forgetting that Izzy from the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta ever existed.

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Ninjas rescue student from muggers in Sydney

It was "probably the worst place in Sydney where they could have taken him", said Steve Ashley: one of a group of Australian ninjas that came to readily assist a medical student who was being attacked by muggers.

From the story at News.com.au...

A STUDENT has been saved from a vicious assault - not by the boys in blue but the men in black.

Ninjas scared off three thugs who had the misfortune to attack the 27-year-old medical student outside their warrior school.

The German exchange student had been targeted by the men while he was riding the late-night train home, The Sydney Morning Herald reported.

They demanded he give them his wallet but when he refused and got off the train, they followed.

They pounced as he made his way through a dark alley in Sydney's west.

They grabbed his phone and iPod and kicked him while he lay on the ground.

However, the men were spotted by a member of a nearby dojo.

Nathan Smith told his sensei and the rest of the students at Ninja Senshi Ryu and they rushed out to confront the thugs - all dressed in traditional black ninja garb.

On seeing the ninjas, the men fled, only to be later arrested by police.

"You should have seen their faces when they saw us in ninja gear coming towards them," the school's sensei, Kaylan Soto, told the Herald.

They also failed to notice a ninja, Nathan Smith, standing in the shadows outside the dojo. Mr Smith immediately alerted his sensei, or teacher.

Soooo much good that can be learned from this situation. It looks like Batman is right: "Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot." And it hearkens back to another story out of Australia the other week where people dressed as Spider-Man and Jedi Knights foiled a comic book thief.

Maybe all it takes to clean up the streets of crime is for some decent upstanding citizens to do things out of the ordinary... like dressing up as ninjas :-)

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"What They Died For": Post-episode review of the penultimate LOST

It was during Jacob's little campfire get-together that the image of a key came into mind. And that key went into the lock (or perhaps "Locke") in the door of six seasons' worth of mystery on Lost... and began to turn.

Can you see it? Could you feel it too, watching "What They Died For"? That all the threads are coming together in the tapestry that is Lost. The sense that this has been a well-orchestrated symphony of mythic storytelling, even during those times when some of us had doubt (witness the reaction many had to last week's "Across The Sea", which tonight's episode tremendously heightened appreciation for).

Everything has come full circle at last. Seeing our heroes on the beach, watching Jack crudely suture-up Kate just as she did in the very first episode, and then realizing that Jack is assuredly not that man of science any longer. He is now and forever a man of faith and the cup has been passed to him, both literally and figuratively.

Then there is Ben. He is going to keep us guessing right up until the very end. Even now, we don't know whose side is he on. But would we really want it to be any other way?

Everyone is coming together whether they realize it or not. From across the Island. From across space and time. From across an entirely other universe. The pieces are in place for the final gambit of this game that we've watched unfold for the past six years.

And in true Lost fashion, we have no clue how it's going to come down.

A brilliant, brilliant episode. It gets my full 10 out of 10.

And fittingly, there are 108 hours between now and "The End".

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"This god-damned mountain doesn't dare do anything to Harry."

Those were the words of one Harry R. Truman. He also assured reporters and visitors to his lodge that "No one knows this mountain better than me."

The 83 year-old Harry Truman was speaking of Mount St. Helens in the state of Washington: the mountain on which he lived along with his 16 cats. For two months the long-quiet volcano had slowly been stirring in activity. Geologists became alarmed by the increasing swarms of small quakes and the appearance of a bulge on St. Helens' north side: indication that lava was building up beneath. Many tried to convince him to leave, but Harry Truman refused to go. It was nothing to worry about, he swore up and down.

A few days later, at 8:32 a.m. on the morning of May 18th 1980, Mount St. Helens erupted. It was one of the most violent geological events in modern history. The entire northern face of the mountain was blasted away as 540 million tons of ash and debris was thrown out and across thousands of square miles.

Geologist David A. Johnston was stationed six miles away. Johnston had been one of the most vocal in persuading residents to leave the area during the buildup toward the eruption. The superhot flow of ash and steam took less than a minute to reach his location. Johnston's last frantic words before his radio went silent: "Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it!" All that was ever found of David Johnston was the ruin of his United States Geological Survey trailer, discovered by workers in 1993.

As for Harry Randall Truman: he and his 16 cats are still on the mountain somewhere, buried beneath 150 feet of and thousands of tons of ash and debris. True to his word, he never left.

All told, 57 people died in the eruption: the deadliest volcanic event in United States history.

And that was thirty years ago on this day, May 18th 1980.

National Geographic has an impressive gallery of photos showing Mount St. Helens before and after the eruption. Well worth checking out.

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Johnny Robertson demands retraction from this blog

Word has reached me from a few places that on last night's installment of What Does the Bible Say? (or as many people call it "What Does Johnny Robertson Say?" and "The Martinsville Taliban Show") on WGSR, that local cult leader Johnny Robertson called me out by name for stating that his son Micah Robertson was convicted on May 7th in Danville General District Court on the charge of trespassing stemming from an incident on February 28th at Westover Baptist Church in Danville, Virginia.

It seems that Johnny Robertson - leader of the area cult calling itself "Church of Christ" (I now call them the "Sons of Hell", see Matthew 23:15 and some are now calling them "Stalkers for Jesus") believes I am being irresponsible as a journalist. It is his contention that Micah Robertson was not actually "convicted", but has had his judgment deferred for one year. At which time his transgression will be removed from the records. Which, I suppose I could note that this could be a parable about the quality of mercy that Robertson and his goons could stand to learn much from were they not so hard-hearted. But I digress...

If this isn't a conviction, then what is it? Micah Robertson certainly wasn't found innocent. And one doesn't find himself in the position of possibly having a conviction made permanent hanging over one's head like the proverbial Sword of Damocles unless that person did do something he shouldn't have been doing (in this case, harassing and intimidating a church congregation).

(I could also mention how Johnny Robertson apparently has nothing to say about my asking "Is it biblical or typical practice among your number for one of you to knowingly and consistently give huge amounts of God's money to an avowed atheist, bisexual habitual thief?". Guess he doesn't want to go there, aye?)

Anyhoo, Johnny Robertson has insisted that I should do a retraction.

He's not going to get it.

But, I am willing to demonstrate that I more than a fair journalist. Certainly more than Johnny Robertson and his "Religious Review" sham are...

The judge in the case has said that he'll take this off Micah Robertson's record if he behaves himself for the next year. I believe it is our duty to hold Micah Robertson to that.

If Micah Noel Robertson completely refrains from harassing churches for the next full year, and refrains from even MENTIONING on television any church other than his own Church of Christ for the same amount of time, and refrains from mentioning the name of the pastor or minister of any other congregation for the same amount of time, then I will print a retraction on The Knight Shift.

This means more than Micah Robertson having to keep his nose clean for the next 365 days. It also means that he's going to have to demonstrate nothing but his own doctrine for one full year.

Do I think he can do it? I doubt that he can. Martinsville Church of Christ, Danville Church of Christ and the rest of the local cult calling itself "Church of Christ" (which has nothing to do with the mainstream Churches of Christ) has proven time and again that it doesn't HAVE a real doctrine to call its own. All these loons have are a few handpicked verses of scripture backing up a doctrine that has never existed to begin with, and their unbridled hatred of everyone who doesn't belong to their cult.

In short: Micah Robertson has no purpose without being the bully that his father is grooming him to be. It's thuggery in the name of Christ and that is all that these people have. It can no more be expected of them to abandon and let die their hatred than it could be expected the government to stop wasting money.

But, I am giving Micah Robertson a chance. He can choose to take it, or not.

Until then, and possibly indefinitely, there will be no retraction because Micah Robertson was found guilty in court, and that should stand as warning to many other people about what he and his cult are capable of doing.

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A STUNNING fan-made trailer for LOST series finale

One week from tonight, the story of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 will draw to a close as the final episode of Lost airs on ABC.

I do not know if there will ever be another television series that has so captivated me. That has compelled me to tune in as Lost has. I am not much of a television viewer at all: a show has to sincerely earn my attention and respect, for me to devote my time toward it. And that, Lost has done.

"What They Died For", the last regular episode, airs two nights from now. There'll be a two-hour recap next Sunday followed by the two and a half hour "The End".

And some dude/dudette in London has spliced together this spellbinding trailer for Lost's series finale. It's so entrancing that none other than Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof Twitter-ed about it earlier this morning! This bit o' video cuts right to the heart and soul of what has made Lost so good.

In case you're wondering, the music is "Shooting Star" from the Stardust soundtrack.

And there'll no doubt be plenty more Lost posts between now and next Sunday night (and probably beyond...)

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THE KING AND I: 33 days until opening night

Having now rehearsed the "Uncle Tom's Cabin" scene for the first time, my mind is far more at rest about being a "ballet ninja" in that part of the show.

(I could also say something about how it turns out that Phra Alack - the character that I'm playing - was in real life a eunuch. Seems that was a common requirement for employment in a royal household in the Far East up 'til the early twentieth century. The things some people will do for a paycheck...)

The disparate parts of the show are coming together into a cohesive unit. It's really something: one group will be practicing dance while another is going over singing, and still another at the same time could be the principles going over lines. And they're not necessarily at the same location either: our rehearsals have been at Rockingham County Senior High School (where the performances will be held next month) and in two buildings at Rockingham Community College, and there'll be rehearsals at an area church later this week. Not to mention all the work that's going on at the Theatre Guild's warehouse on set construction, plus props and costumes.

It's certainly turning into a more massive production than Children of Eden two years ago, and some have said that it's becoming even bigger than Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat last year. Which is exciting, 'cuz Joseph was far and away the glitziest show that I've seen anywhere around here, ever. If people come away from this show telling us that we should take it on the road, then I'll consider that one of the highest praises imaginable.

The King and I opens on June 18th. Click here to visit the Theatre Guild of Rockingham County's website for more information. And stay tuned to this blog for future updates. Who knows: I might even have a photo or two of Yours Truly as a man of Siam sooner than later :-)

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DreamWorks looking at Monsterpocalypse movie... and involving Tim Burton!

DreamWorks has acquired the rights to make a full-length feature film based on Monsterpocalypse. Yup, that Monsterpocalypse: the collectible miniatures game that I wrote about back in November...

Not only that, but DreamWorks execs are reportedly trying to get Tim Burton attached to the project. Monsterpocalypse creator Matt Wilson is already on board as co-producer for the movie.

Hmmmm... this could be pretty good. Provided that the correct tone and atmosphere is there. Monsterpocalypse has some terrific background fluff behind it and building on that, DreamWorks could turn in a heck of a good movie. In my mind a Monsterpocalypse film should be like the original RoboCop: intense on action and drama but also with tons of tongue-in-cheek humor and satire. Make it a CGI animated spectacle and DreamWorks potentially has a very strong movie franchise in it stable.

'Course, I can't let a post like this go by without showing off my very own Monsterpocalypse filmmaking: HyperMind's entry in last year's Monsterpocapalooza contest (and we even made the top ten!)...

If you wanna find out more about this great game, smash on through to Monsterpocalypse.com. You'll also wanna check out Team Covenant: a website devoted to great games like Monsterpocalypse (and sponsors of this week's inaugural MonCon in Tulsa, Oklahoma). And I can't say enough good about Team Covenant's The Definitive Monsterpocalypse Tutorial DVD: by far one of the most passionate and clever how-to videos that I've ever seen :-)

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The laser is 50 years old today

It's hard to believe now, but Theodore Maiman's discovery was turned down from scholarly publication when he first submitted it! At the time there was a lot of work being conducted on maser (microwave amplification by stimulated emission of radiation) and the journal Physical Review Letters thought that Maiman's article was a retread of too many others. But before long researchers - and soon afterward the rest of the world - agreed that the laser which Maiman created on May 16th 1960 using a ruby rod was an entirely different gimmick. Fifty years later and lasers are everywhere around us: in CD and DVD players, in your doctor's office, maybe even in your shirt pocket.

CNN has a great retrospective about a half-century of the laser. And if you want to know how a laser differs from a flashlight, HowStuffWorks hosts a terrific essay about the laser's inner workings.

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SHE DID IT! Jessica Watson returns home after solo sail around the world

Nearly 7 full months after taking her boat out of harbor in Sydney, Australia, Jessica Watson returned to a hero's welcome yesterday: having become the youngest person in history to sail solo and unassisted around the world. And having been following her voyage during these past several months, I must say that she looks none the worse for wear :-)

The journey lasted more than 23,000 miles, including some time across the equator. During her trip Jessica consumed "32 cans of Spam, 64 cans of tuna, 32 cans of pineapple, 576 chocolate bars, and 290 freeze dried ready meals all alone in her small yacht." She was kept company by a crew of stuffed animals, and an assortment of timed care packages from her family that she opened per a set schedule. And when not navigating her ship "Ella's Pink Lady" Jessica kept busy keeping a blog that allowed everyone to follow the course of her journey.

It must be noted that for all that she has accomplished, Miss Watson is incredibly humble. Sharing the podium with Australian prime minster Kevin Rudd yesterday, Jessica shrugged off notions of being something more. "I don't consider myself a hero, I'm an ordinary girl. You don't have to be someone special to achieve something amazing, you've just got to have a dream, believe in it and work hard. I'd like to think I've proved that anything really is possible if you set your mind to it."

That's one lady who's got rare wisdom in addition to having notched up such a journey. And if ya ask me, they do make her a hero.

Congrats Jessica! Looking forward to reading the inevitable book about your adventure :-)

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Awright, break's over...

I'd better get back to blogging in earnest. Stuff might be about to happen.

I am returning with some new features, which will be getting unrolled on The Knight Shift in the near future. Looking forward to seeing what kind of response they evoke :-)

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