The American Civil War began 150 years ago today

I have heard many dissenting opinions during my lifetime as to who fired the first shot: the Union army that was holding Fort Sumter, or the newly-minted Confederate army (which is said to have initiated hostilities with a 10-inch mortar round from nearby Fort Johnston).

But there is no dispute about the fact that the bombardment of Fort Sumter in the harbor of Charleston, South Carolina - an act which had no combat casualties - would lead to the greatest conflict in American history and the loss of more than six hundred thousand lives on both sides.

It was one hundred and fifty years ago today, on April 12th, 1861, that the North and South first clashed at Fort Sumter.

The American Civil War had begun.

This blogger pauses to remember those on both sides of th ewar, who fought only for what they sincerely believed to the best of their mortal minds was the right thing.

On that note, I think I'll pop in my DVD of Gods and Generals for the rest of the evening, if only for background noise.

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Have we learned NOTHING from Joel Schumacher?!?

As if the costume design for the Broadway trainwreck called Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark wasn't bad enough...

Here are the duds that'll be worn by the cast of the new touring Batman Live show:

Click on over to GeekTyrant for a couple more pics, including a close-up of what must be the most ridiculous Joker costume in the history of anything.

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Little girl turns to the Dark Side at Disneyland

This video made my day! While at Disneyland with her family Sariah Gallego got picked to jump on the stage of the Jedi Training Academy feature. But this was one girl who wasn't satisfied with being a mere Padawan learner! No, she wanted something... more. She wanted to follow her passion. Even if that meant turning to the Dark Side of the Force.

And so in front of everybody including no less a person than Mace Windu, Sariah swore allegiance to Darth Vader and became his Sith apprentice! Behold the video...

Don't know what else to say but... you go girl!! :-)

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Back from ActionFest!

I am... frazzled.

But then again, four nearly nonstop days of action movies at the world's only film festival devoted to action movies and the (largely unsung) talented individuals who make them happen, will do that to anyone. Heck, just back-to-back nights of Never Back Down 2, Black Dynamite and Hobo With A Shotgun is enough to pack a wallop!

Full report coming soon. I gotta decompress first :-P

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Sidney Lumet has passed away

I'm still in the mist of ActionFest (report coming soon) and without a digital rig of my own to publish when I wish. But even so, this sort of thing demands a moment to pause and remember...

Just read where Sidney Lumet, one of the greatest directors in motion picture history, has passed away. He directed Network, Serpico, The Verdict, and many many other classic films.

Think I'll watch Twelve Angry men when I get back home, in his memory.

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Gone to ActionFest in Asheville!

"The Film Festival With A Body Count" is back... BIGGER AND BADDER AND BLOODIER THAN EVER!

Yes faithful readers, in a short while I shall depart home for a few days and drive out into the dusk for the mountains of North Carolina. Destination: Asheville. The reason? the second-ever ActionFest! The inaugural festival last year was a huge success (here's the after-carnage report that I posted) and this year is gonna be even more honkin' sweet! It all kicks off tomorrow night, April 7th with Ironclad: a hack 'n slash epic set against the signing of the Magna Carta and starring Paul Giamatti, James Purefoy, Brian Cox, Jason Flemyng.

And what else is playing at ActionFest? How about... Hobo With A Shotgun!

And Friday night at midnight... because this is soooo a movie that must be seen at midnight on the big screen... it's none other than Black Dynamite!

I am purposefully going in fairly blind to what's scheduled, 'cuz I wanna replicate the delight and discovery that I had at last year's ActionFest. Anyhoo, my filmmaking partner "Weird Ed" Woody and I will be there together and if you wanna hang out with us, shoot me an e-mail at theknightshift@gmail.com and we'll hook up or something!

And just like last year, I'll be Twitter-ing from the festival, so feel free to follow the action from your desktop or laptop or smartphone or iPad or whatever. But don't be content to follow it at all 'cuz... YOU OUGHTTA BE AT ACTIONFEST!!

More regular blogging when I return in a few days. In the meantime, try to behave y'all :-)

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Chris sort-of reviews TRON: LEGACY 5-Disc Blu-ray Collector's Set (which also includes original TRON on Blu-ray!)

Tron: Legacy came out on DVD and Blu-ray yesterday. I've been eager to own this ever since catching the movie this past New Year's Eve (click here for my initial review of the movie), not only 'cuz I thought it was a great film and worthy follow-up to the 1982 original Tron, but because I was seriously giddy to see how this flick would look on my high-def home entertainment rig. Tron: Legacy was the prettiest pushing of pixels that I've seen in the history of anything: say what one might of some of the film's weaknesses (I've read some say that it could have been a bit leaner, but we'll get to that), visually it was gorgeous.

And oh yeah: Disney announced a few months ago that the original Tron would be released on Blu-ray along with Tron: Legacy. Another reason to look forward to this release!

Well folks, I got Tron: Legacy 5-Disc Blu-ray Collector's Set yesterday and I've spun both of these movies twice in my player, along with the extras. And in spite of being unable to turn in a complete review of this package, I must heartily suggest it for your own personal library.

So why can't I review it all?

Simple enough reason: Disc 1 is Tron: Legacy on 3-D Blu-ray... and I don't have a 3-D Blu-ray player! And you ain't likely to see me own one anytime soon either. At least, not until 3-D high-def sets come out that don't require those funky glasses. And if there's any merit to what some are saying about glassless 3-D right now, that might be awhile longer yet. So for now Disc 1 of this collection is gonna remain a virgin.

Disc 2 however is positivalutely stunning, I can happily report! In fact, this might be the best picture quality of any Blu-ray that's currently in my collection. The details are crisp and sharp as a razor, and the colors of the digital realm - even the pitch black parts of it - pop out magnificently. The Blu-ray of Tron: Legacy maintains the aspect ratios of the IMAX 3-D release, so sometimes it fills up the entire 16:9 screen and others it doesn't. The sound quality is also superb: I don't have a Surround Sound setup, but despite that I was consumed by the audio, especially during the lightcycle sequences.

Disc 2 also contains the extras, including "The Next Day", a mini-feature about the underground "Flynn Lives" movement that has quite a few surprises for fans of the original movie (and is said to dovetail into the third Tron movie allegedly in pre-production). Incidentally, when you get to the end of it, feel free to play around with the arcade game screen that pops up. Especially with that high score (that's all I'm gonna say). Disc 2 also includes other stuff like the "De-Rezzed" Daft Punk music video, and a vignette featuring Tron: Legacy director Joseph Kosinski and how he implemented a crowd cheering at Comic-Con into the arena fight scene. All in all, the bonus features that come with Tron: Legacy are pretty solid stuff.

Disc 3 is Tron: Legacy on standard DVD. Which I also played for a bit out of curiosity about its image quality. It's great DVD, but hey if you got a Blu-ray player you know what disc you're gonna reach for. Still, since I don't have a Blu-ray drive in my computer just yet, I'll no doubt be using this disc to rip Tron: Legacy for my iPod and iPad.

Disc 4 is the digital copy. Which every major DVD/Blu-ray release is including these days and I haven't used a single one. 'Cuz I make my own digital copies (only for personal use 'course) from the primary discs. 'Cuz that's just how I roll :-)

Awright, now we come to Disc 5: the original 1982 movie Tron, finally on Blu-ray! Not only that but beautifully cleaned-up and digitally remastered.

Okay, I gotta say this: it's the best that I've ever seen Tron (which was the first movie that I ever watched on a VCR, all the way back in 1983). Tron on Blu-ray looks like it was filmed just yesterday. However the Blu-ray presentation and restoration also makes obvious some things that have probably gone unnoticed for the most part of the past thirty years. Especially the matted elements, like when Sark's carrier is about to chase after the solar sailer (you can see the carrier right through the hangar building!). But rather than deflect from enjoying Tron on Blu-ray, I actually found it added a charming quality to the movie: artifacts of its time, when the use of computers in filmmaking was just then becoming a reality. So nothing really to get in a tiff about there. What I did want more out of this disc however were some more additional features. There are the original DVD features from the 2002 release, and some photos... but not much more than that (although there is a very welcome audio commentary with Tron director Steven Lisberger and others involved in making the film). Perhaps someday Disney will give the original Tron some more respect and laud it with the Blu-ray release it deserves (you can also buy Tron alone as a Blu-ray disc, something I've already had words about its lousy cover art). But until then, I'll be happy to have Tron itself looking the best it's looked since the summer of 1982.

Tron: Legacy 5-Disc Blu-ray Collector's Set is available in a regular box, or in a special "identity disc" package. Unless you wanna fork over some extra coin for what looks like a glorified coaster, you'll probably just want to get the standard box like I bought. It's quite a nice set, and I'm looking forward to watching it again this weekend (my filmmaking partner "Weird" Ed asked me to bring it when I go to his place for ActionFest in Asheville). Highly recommended!

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Light musings on a universal conflict

I most want to do what God would have me to do.

I also want to be happy, and I know that true happiness is only found in whatever it is that God requires of us.

So why doesn't He tell us in no uncertain terms what it is that He does require of us?

But then, if He did, then there would be no such conflict between the spirit and the flesh that each of us possess.

And then, life would become extraordinarily boring.

Could it be that God doesn't lay it all out for us perfectly clear, because He not only wants us to grow spiritually (which can't happen without times of trial and tribulation) but also because He does want us to live fully and vicariously as we grow in our relationship with Him?

Just something that I found myself contemplating since this afternoon. I've been weighing my desire to seek God's will for my life, against the fact that He hasn't been as forthcoming with that as I would like.

I guess, I'm consigned to constantly stumble and fall while seeking His will, and having to rely on His mercy and grace to see me through.

But then, that's the way it should be...

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Question for iPad owners (about Bible software)

Barring any crazy circumstance, I should be getting my iPad 2 next week! Looking forward to having it for... well, all kinds of good stuff :-)

So I've already been planning which apps I should buy for it: the list thus far includes iMovie, Garageband (I've waited five years for the chance to use that program 'cuz Apple doesn't make it for Windows), and the iPad/iPhone port of Doom ('cuz in my book it's not a real computer unless it plays Doom).

There's one more bit o' software that I aim to install on my iPad right out the gate, but I thought I'd pose this to my readers...

What's a good Bible app for the iPad?

It'd be great to find one that has multiple versions available. Other than that, well... I don't know what I should be looking for.

Suggestions? Any would be most welcome :-)

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Bipolar depressive episode: The next day...

Why am I writing about having bipolar disorder? Well, for one thing: I have it. And since this blog is about me and my thoughts and comments and adventures, the honest and genuine thing to do is to chronicle when my thoughts go full-tilt whacko beyond my control.

And I'm a writer. I write about what I know. This year marks the twentieth anniversary of me writing for publication. It sure didn't occur to me back then that someday I'd be running a fairly popular blog (I think the total number of websites on the Internet in 1991 were something like five or six) and that my most heartfelt topic was having a mental illness. But as a wiser person than I told me years ago: "Life is what God does to you when you're busy making plans".

And as I've said before: if what I'm doing now, can save others from any bit of the suffering and heartache that I have had to endure (and that others have had to endure because of me) then, this effort will have been well worth doing.

But a more personal reason is that, writing about having bipolar disorder is, in a very curious way, allowing me to fulfill my childhood ambition of... being a scientist.

What did little Chris Knight want to be when he grew up? An astronomer. A physicist. A biologist. A geologist. A geneticist. All of them at once! Especially astronomy: that's always been one of my bigger interests.

Unfortunately I had something called "discalculia" and it is to mathematics as dyslexia is to reading: it's a math disability. And math is the lingua franca of all science. Ironically it now appears that my having a mental illness all this time was one of the bigger reasons why my math skills have sucked so bad! I've been doing some experiments in the past few months and... well let's just say that for the firs time in my life I can comprehend quadratic equations. But I digress...

So I have a mental illness. A medical condition. And, I have chosen to document what it is like to have it, in an objective fashion but also what I like to believe will be characteristically my own... and that's part and parcel of having myself as the subject of study.

So more than twenty-four hours after the bipolar depressive episode that I wrote about in my last post, I am now feeling better. I am functional again, for however long it might last (and I pray it will last a long time). Most of last night I was unable to sleep because my thoughts were racing so fast, and the medication I am taking was unable in this case to quiet it down. I napped from 5 a.m. until 12 this afternoon, because my brain got too exhausted to keep up.

So right now I'm in a blissful state of creativity and productivity, and I'm about to go into Adobe Photoshop to work on something that I've had an idea for. A new product, you might say (that I might wind up selling through this blog soon).

I have mentioned her before on this blog, but now's as good a time as any to do it again: a few months ago I learned about Kay Redfield Jamison. She's a clinical psychologist who also suffers from bipolar disorder, and she has become renowned as one of the world's leading authorities on the subject. I found this page of quotes by Dr. Jamison, in which she articulates what it's like to have bipolar disorder. It's well worth a read if you're at all interested in what it means to live with this. I plan to finally read her books sometime soon, particularly An Unquiet Mind, which is all about her life with bipolar.

Hey, maybe someday y'all will see me writing a book about having this disease. Then I can hit the lecture circuit and Dr. Phil and all that jazz :-P

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Having another bipolar depressive episode

And once more I understand why some people are driven to commit suicide because of bipolar disorder. Because, death does seem a much preferable thing to what can only be called "anti-life".

I have been trying to compose the next installment of Being Bipolar. My mind has arrested me from doing that and from having interest in most of the other things that I enjoy in my life. My thoughts are on a seemingly non-stop cycle of nothingness, if that makes any sense.

So what am I doing to alleviate it? I've taken my medication and I've spent some time just trying to let my thoughts run their course (because eventually it does peter out enough to let me be productive again). Other than that, there's not much else that can be done.

I'm leaving Wednesday afternoon, for a short trip. Gonna be at that same film festival in Asheville that I attended last year. Knowing that something like that is on the horizon to look forward to, does help and it helps tremendously. If I know I have something to get excited about, it's like my mind can build up some momentum toward that, enough to be able to focus on that and escape the racing thoughts for a short while.

But in the meantime, I'm stuck with my thoughts holding me captive in a state of not living, not caring, not being empathetic or sympathetic to anyone or anything. I am currently alive and un-live.

And not for the first time, not for the last time, I am wondering why God would allow this to happen to anybody.

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A thought on a Saturday evening

We are to worship God. We are not supposed to worship our understanding of God.

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Look, new trailers for DOCTOR WHO Season 6, or Season 32, whatever!!

I've been in a horrible funk the past few days. Related to my having bipolar disorder? Yeah. But also, quite a bit spiritual. Depression and oppression together are a terrible, terrible thing...

But you know what cheers me up? And maybe this'll help cheer others up too if they need it: two new trailers for the coming season of Doctor Who!

And if these are any indication... well, good lord this next season is going to be EPIC!

"This is the day he finds out who I am." That line, spoken by River Song, gives me shivers. That and the "Fear me, I've killed hundreds of Time Lords", "Fear me: I've killed ALL of them" exchange between the Doctor and some new foe, and the Doctor saying "I've been running my whole life. Now it's time for me to stop"...

April 23rd can not get here soon enough!

And then BBC America has this trailer, playing up how this season will see the first episode of Doctor Who to be shot in the United States in the show's entire forty-eight year history!

Speaking of the new season of Doctor Who, rumor is that the title of Neil Gaiman's episode has leaked out onto the Intertubes. I haven't found it yet. Anyone know what it is? If so, leave a comment about it please! :-)

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On this day...

...ten years ago, I was given the most very wonderful birthday that I have ever received.

And on this day, today, all that I can think of, the only thing on my mind, is the overwhelming sense of regret for the people who I have lost. People who I cared for, and still care for, and would have done anything for.

To all who it may concern: I tried. I did my best. I never stopped doing what I could to seek God and what He would have me do. I am still doing what I can to seek after Him.

And, if you are reading this blog today, please know that I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt any of you.

Still thinking of all of you. And, I will never stop being thankful for each of you.

EDIT 4:14 p.m. EST: To everyone reading this, who enjoys a relationship with God and has never had to personally deal with having a mental illness...

You have no idea how blessed you are.

And don't you ever take that for granted!

It is only by His grace that I am here today, to have another birthday. And if I didn't have Christ in my life I wouldn't be here today. Don't think that I'm not thankful to Him that He has led me through the darkest valleys that a person can go through in this life.

And yet, I do still cry out to Him. Begging Him to give me some indication that He has heard me. That the things which I have lost because of a condition which no one would ever ask for, have not been lost in vain.

Yes, I have a relationship with God. But it is not the kind that I would wish on anybody. I'll never know during my lifetime what it is like to have a mind that is quiet enough to be content to simply listen for Him. I'll go the rest of my days carrying a burden from a person I was never meant to be, that the real me now has... and keeps asking God to make sense of it.

If you have a relationship with God, and have not suffered the misery and grief that comes with your own mind turning against you, then be glad. Be thankful. Never stop thanking God for that!

I don't want anything for my birthday today. Except to know that God has heard my cries.

That, and that anyone who reads this, might go away thankful for a blessing that they had never given any thought to.

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THE PEOPLE VS. GEORGE LUCAS coming to North Carolina! I'm finally getting to see my movie on the big screen...

...well, parts of it anyway :-)

The People vs. George Lucas, Alexandre Philippe's documentary that has won beaucoups of awards at film festivals all over the world, has just announced a whole bunch of new showings. And one of them is right next door in Winston-Salem! Beginning May 9th it'll be playing at Cine Club on 311 West Fourth Street.

So why am I especially stoked about getting to see this rave-reviewed film? Here's the second trailer for it...

And here's the first teaser for The People vs. George Lucas...

That's none other than Melody Hallman Daniel and Chad Austin from Forcery, the first film that I ever made. I've heard that quite a lot of clips from it wound up in The People vs. George Lucas. So I'm not only looking forward to seeing Philippe's work, but also my own blown-up extra-huge on a real movie screen! This is gonna be an absolute hoot to behold :-)

EDIT 6:51 p.m. EST: I have just been notified that the screening at Cine Club has been moved back to September, because of scheduling conflict. I'll post more as we get closer to the actual date. We just have to wait a little longer, that's all :-)

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Theatre Guild of Rockingham County presents CHARLOTTE'S WEB beginning this weekend!

For those who are wondering: I am not involved in this production. Between last April (when we did The King and I) and this past month (when we wrapped Gypsy) I was doing community theatre non-stop across four productions. Just needed a bit of a respite from the stage :-)

That said, I am exceedingly stoked about Theatre Guild of Rockingham County's production of Charlotte's Web, which kicks off a six-performance run this Friday night!

Based on E.B. White's classic novel, Charlotte's Web is the timeless tale of Wilbur: a succulent little pig who should have been destined to become ham and bacon... until an unusually eloquent spider named Charlotte comes to his rescue. It's a great cast, and I've seen some photos of the sets and they look terrific! I'm hoping to catch this on opening night. Maybe even a few more times this weekend, Lord willing.

Anyhoo, Charlotte's Web will be at Rockingham Community College's Advanced Technologies Building Auditorium, in Wentworth, North Carolina. Come enjoy the show!

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It snowed this morning

Eight days into spring, and it snowed this morning here in north-central North Carolina. Not only that but it was coming down at a great clip and for awhile was sticking to the ground!

Here are some photos that I took around 8:45 a.m. today...

I was flying back from a wedding in Florida several years ago, in early April. It was snowing in Greensboro then as we touched down. And I've also seen it snow on the Fourth of July in nearby Caswell County. But this is the most snow that I've seen fall this late.

Pretty, ain't it? :-)

EDIT 10:45 a.m. EST: It's now a quarter-til 11 a.m. and the snow is still falling! Not as hard as it was earlier but, it still provides a nice ambiance.

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