Want a REAL Hoverboard from Back To The Future? 'Course ya do!

I know plenty of geeks that will be salivating their chops about this baby...

More than 22 years after its cinematic debut and after jillions of rumors about "Mattel is really coming out with a working hoverboard!", guess what: Mattel is coming out with a hoverboard from the Back To The Future trilogy! Except it won't actually hover (the press release teases that we should "check back in 2015 for that feature"). And it won't work on water, 'course anyone who's seen Back To The Future Part II already knew about that liability. This is going to be a pre-order item: Mattel needs a minimum of purchasers before putting this thing into production. I highly doubt that'll be a problem though, even considering that this is prolly gonna cost a coupl'a hundred bucks.

But still... a real hoverboard!! Now we can all die happy :-)

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I'd better post some thoughts about last night's THE WALKING DEAD...

...'cuz I need to blog about something! :-P

It was an action-packed weekend for your intrepid blogger, dear readers. From the Valentine's party at Kristen's dance studio, then going to the Love For Life Conference at Thomas Road Baptist Church (we got to see Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, AKA the parents of those nineteen kids and counting!) and then yesterday culminating in the mid-season return of The Walking Dead on AMC, I've been a busy dude.

So about "Nebraska", the first episode we got since November 27th's chapter that ended in Barnmageddon...

"Nebraska" began moments after that hella shocker of the previous episode, and was for all intents and purposes a "cleanup operation" of its aftermath. To be honest, not much happened until the very tail end of this one, and I'm wondering if this episode would have been a better one to go into the hiatus with: it would have provided a dramatic "breather" while setting things up to escalate. Which looks to be happening sooner than later.

Not as strong as "Pretty Much Dead Already", but that would have been darn near impossible anyway. Word is however that the remaining five episodes this season are going to be pretty honkin' intense... so in hindsight, we might be thankful for the respite that "Nebraska" gave us.

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George Lucas sez: Han NEVER shot first (What the...?!?)

George, George, George... I love your movies. I still love your movies, no matter what you do to them. I can't wait to share them with my children someday. But how do I put this?

Ummmm... who do you think you're kidding?!?

George Lucas is now claiming that Han Solo did NOT shoot first, and NEVER did, in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

So in case you've been living under a rock for the past fifteen years: in the original version of the first Star Wars movie that we had for twenty years from 1977 on, Han Solo clearly shoots bounty hunter Greedo at (nearly) point-blank range in the Mos Eisley cantina.

Here's the original scene...

Then when Lucas rolled out the "Special Editions" in 1997, the scene was edited so it looks like Greedo shot first, then Han returns fire. Apparently Han shooting first made him out to be too cold-blooded, or somesuch.

Fifteen years after changing it up, and now... Lucas wants us to think that Han didn't shoot first at all? Say what ya will about an artist having control of his vision, but that kinda revisionism just won't fly.

GeekTyrant has more about this attempted retconning with our minds by the Plaid One.

'Course, y'all know what one now-famous fan of George Lucas thinks about the only gun firing belonging to "cock-a-doodie Han!!"

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Trying to articulate something...

...and my anger and disbelief at what I am watching right now in this country, just won't let me be as mercurial a wordsmith as some have alleged me to be.

So I'm going to relent to brute-force attack.

Regarding how President Obama is trying to force Catholic hospitals and other institutions to fund birth control, against that faith's beliefs and teachings:

If this isn't a situation that demands civil disobedience and even flagrant lawbreaking against the government, then I don't know what possibly WOULD be!

I try my best not to judge the spiritual state of another. For the first time, I am inclined to be compelled to wonder about that of Barack Obama. How can anyone of conscience even conceive of mandating such a thing?

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THREADS: A British movie that will scare the hell out of you

Working on a few things behind the scenes, but felt like posting something tonight. And that's when I discovered that YouTube is hosting Threads.

Sure, why not.

I first saw this movie in July of 1986 but it wasn't until I was in college a long time later that I found out the title. We were visiting family in Florida and playing a game of Monopoly in our motel room with my cousins and we thought we'd put some TV on. It was a PBS station showing... some very dark and gritty film about nuclear war in England.

I was 12 years old. I soon lost all interest in Monopoly and became transfixed to this film. The image of the young woman chewing through her newborn baby's umbilical cord is something that has haunted me to this day.

Threads originally aired on BBC Two in Great Britain in September of 1984. That wasn't very long after the network ABC aired The Day After here in America. If you've seen The Day After, well that's mild compared to Threads. And that's sayin' something. I was 9 when The Day After broadcast and it made darn near everybody watching (which was, well... darn near everybody) turn white with fright.

Threads, however, is a far more gruesome beast.

I'm posting this because Threads is a fascinating example of Cold War cinema. That was a very different time for those of us who grew up during it. We were the last of the children who came up scared about nuclear holocaust breaking out at any moment. And it could have happened...

Why didn't it? I've no doubt that history will remember that communism in Russia, could not sustain itself. Its people wanted to be free. An unsustainable economy failing to provide for a citizenry wanting better is a perfect combination for a government's collapse. We can see that in hindsight perfectly. But at that time...

Well anyway, here it is: from British television in 1984, a horrific yet intriguing relic of a world that nearly was: Threads.

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Happy 80th Birthday to John Williams!

The Knight Shift and its eclectic proprietor wishes a VERY Happy Birthday today to composer/conductor John Williams!

This dude is 80 years young... and still composing some of the freshest-sounding movie scoring around!

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The Knight Shift has QR code!

Simply aim your smartphone's camera at this QR code and it will take you right to this blog!

Of course, since you're already looking at this blog, that kinda defeats the purpose of the QR code to begin with...

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You are your own best protection

A few days ago, roughly a mile or so from where I'm writing these words, there was a home break-in. A husband and wife were murdered. They are being laid to rest today.

I did not know the family, but I know lots of people who do. I have heard nothing but very good things about Doug and Ladonna French. They leave behind two children, including one who was at home during the robbery and barely escaped. As of this writing, no one has been arrested.

In light of this, I'm feeling led to say something that really shouldn't have to be said...

You really are your own best protection. No offense to the men and women serving in law enforcement, but in the real world they can't possibly be a 100% effective safeguard against criminal wrongdoing. Call 911 and it's going to be at least 5 minutes, in the vast majority of situations, before a sheriff's deputy or police officer can arrive at your house. A lot can happen in that time. A lot of bad. Happening toward you.

A person who is breaking into your house will not care about legal niceties. A person breaking into your house will not care about how much money it will cost you to defend yourself in court. A person breaking into your house will not care how many attorneys you will have to hire. A person breaking into your house will not care that you might get arrested for a firearms charge. A person breaking into your house will not care that you might be in jail for a day or so.

And neither should you.

You can always replace money. You can never replace a loved one. You can never replace your own life either.

It sounds cliche, but it's true: an armed society is a polite society. It's a documented fact that places with higher gun ownership by those with property enjoy statistically and considerably lower crime rates.

If anyone breaks into my house, I will defend myself and my loved ones, with deadly force. And I don't give a flying rat's ass how much it will personally cost me.

Remember folks: it is better to be judged by twelve than to be carried out by six.

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5secondfilms presents... COOKING WITH CRAZY!!!

In a perfect world, this would be a real TV show:

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THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN trailer is up!

All of a sudden, we have a huge fight at the box office come July between Batman and this guy...

Can't put my finger on it but... this seems spot-on Spider-Man, in all the right places. Now I love love love what Sam Raimi did with his 2002 Spider-Man flick. But The Amazing Spider-Man already seems darker, more serious a take on the Spidey mythos. Looking forward to seeing this. Along with The Avengers, 2012 is shaping up to be Marvel's year to shine!

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It's Super Bowl weekend!

Oops... I forgot. Am I even allowed to write "Super Bowl"? Might get hit by the NFL for copyright infringement by not calling it the "big game" instead.

Well anyway, no matter who who're rooting for tomorrow or even if you're not a sports fan at all, here's something we can all enjoy: Andy Griffith's classic comedy monologue "What It Was, Was Football", accompanied by George Woodbridge's illustrations from MAD Magazine!

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An observation about Susan G. Komen For The Cure and Planned Parenthood

Planned Parenthood shouldn't be complaining one measly bit about Susan G. Komen For The Cure dropping its funding.

After all, Planned Parenthood became something not wanted or needed... and so Komen gave it an abortion.

What? I thought Planned Parenthood was pro-choice. Komen made a choice. It chose to abort its relationship with Planned Parenthood. Komen has the right to choose, doesn't it?

And now a dozen or so senators are condemning Komen for what it has done to Planned Parenthood. I thought the government was supposed to stay out of people's private lives where pro-choice is concerned. Guess I was wrong.

Personally, I don't see how anyone with a shred of conscience can support Planned Parenthood. Its founder Margaret Sanger was a notorious racist and believer in eugenics. This has been well documented. Planned Parenthood was an organization intended to kill off minorities, the mentally ill and everyone else who didn't measure up to Sanger's ideal of humanity. How could anybody possessing a soul at all defend such a ghoulish group?

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Time to post something beautiful again...

So it's been a few months since my ravishingly beautiful cousin Lauryn got married. She had been The Knight Shift's official pin-up girl for a number of years and she did a magnificent job... and we all wish her well :-)

But don't y'all think that this place could use some more loveliness from my family? 'Cuz I sure can't offer any of my own!

So then, here is The Knight Shift's new pin-up girl: amazingly sweet, talented, beautiful, and one of the most wonderful young ladies in the Lord that I have had the pleasure of knowing: Rachael!

I know what some of y'all of the masculine persuasion are already thinking... and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Rachael is taken, fellas. Not only that but her father (I was the ringbearer for her parents' wedding years ago) is like eight feet tall or something. So even if you get past me, you'd have your work cut out for you :-P

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"Although you shot at me twice before I left, I did not want to hear of you being hurt."

Jourdon Anderson was a freed slave who for thirty years had been the property of Colonel P.H. Anderson, a Tennessee plantation owner. Four months after the end of the Civil War, Jourdon Anderson wrote a letter to his former master, who had asked Jourdon to return to work on his farm.

Jourdon's letter was subsequently published in The New York Daily Tribune later that same month, and it then found its way into Lydia Maria Child's The Freedman's Book (which is enjoying republication this very week!). And now Jourdon's letter to his previous owner has been published at the Mail Online's website.

Y'all have got to read Jourdon's letter! This freed slave - who had to dictate it to a writer - uses better English than a darn lot of modern-day college students. And then there is the wit and irony that Jourdon employs... along with a considerable amount of great humor. It's not terribly long, but there are some real gems in Jourdon's letter. And the final sentence is a real zinger.

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"Popcorn Sutton the Moonshine Man"

The past several weeks have seen an exploding amount of interest in the life and art of Marvin "Popcorn" Sutton: the legendary brewer of moonshine. It will be three years next month that he left us... but Popcorn Sutton has gotta be smiling and laughing his butt off in Heaven at how his myth has grown down here on Earth! Ever since his family began legally selling Popcorn Sutton's Tennessee White Whiskey I've seen it going for $150 a jar on eBay. And then a few days ago Kellie Pickler introduced it to Ellen DeGeneres on national television, in a clip that simply must be seen.

Meanwhile, there are things going on behind the scenes that I've been sworn to secrecy on that... well, y'all will just have to wait and see how uberawesome this is all gonna be! I can tell you that the third annual Popcorn Sutton Tribute is set for Maggie Valley, North Carolina this coming summer and when I know more details I'll be sure to post 'em!

In the meantime, singer/songwriter Alonzo Pennington has written and recorded an awesome ballad about our favorite Appalachian moonshiner. So without further ado, here is... "Popcorn Sutton the Moonshine Man"!

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Just finished reading THE HUNGER GAMES

I began reading Suzanne Collins' novel The Hunger Games, as it turned out, a few day before Mom passed away. It took me awhile to get back to it but I picked it up again a coupl'a nights ago.

I thought it was a most excellent and enjoyable read. Maybe not as rich in allegory as it could have been but, I'm willing to defer final judgment on this series until I finish the third book.

In case you haven't had the pleasure of discovering it yet, The Hunger Games takes place in a distant future where what was once North America collapsed into ruin and from the ashes arose a cruel dictatorship called Panem. It's a place ruled by The Capitol: a megalopolis populated by a decadent people who do nothing but eating, drinking, getting plastic surgery and probably getting laid. They live at the expense of the peons of twelve districts who provide all the necessities like fuel, food and power. To keep the districts from getting uppity (and also as reminder of who's in charge following an age-old rebellion) the Capitol makes each district send one boy and one girl to the yearly Hunger Games: a combination fashion show, popularity pageant and gladiator battle from which only one can emerge as victor. It's now the seventy-fourth Hunger Games and sixteen-year old Katniss Everdeen steps forward to play for District 12 in place of her younger sister (picked by lottery, in something of a nod to Shirley Jackson).

That's all I'll say for the book, which I decided I wanted to read before the film adaptation comes out next month. For a young adult novel, it's rife with plenty of plot, grisly violence and budding romance that never gets too mushy. Here's hoping the movie is even half as good!

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DC Comics is making WATCHMEN 2. No, really.

What. The. F-CK?!?!?

(I came waaaaaay too close to writing out that full word, folks. Only the better angels of my nature intervened, but not nearly enough.)

"It's a joke. It's all a joke."

Except it's not. This is actually happening.

Why? Well from the story at IGN's Comics News...

"It's our responsibility as publishers to find new ways to keep all of our characters relevant," said DC Entertainment Co-Publishers Dan DiDio and Jim Lee. "After twenty five years, the Watchmen are classic characters whose time has come for new stories to be told. We sought out the best writers and artists in the industry to build on the complex mythology of the original."

DiDio and Lee don't have an effin' clue, do they? Makes me wonder if they've even read Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' classic graphic novel. Me, I've read Watchmen at least 200 times since first discovering it in the winter of 1990. And every time that I re-read it, I discover something new.

This new project isn't a sequel, and "Watchmen 2" isn't even its proper title. It's being called Before Watchmen: a series of prequels, each one focusing on a different character from Watchmen. And none of them are needed or even wanted at all. Looking around the Intertubes today, all I'm seeing is disgust that this is happening. Indeed, I'm seeing some raw hatred toward DC Comics right now over this.

Suffice it to say, Alan Moore is not happy either...

"I tend to take this latest development as a kind of eager confirmation that they are still apparently dependent on ideas that I had 25 years ago... I don't want money. What I want is for this not to happen. As far as I know, there weren't that many prequels or sequels to Moby Dick."

Mash here for more about this damnable sacrilege that sucks donkeys balls to no end.

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