"So... shall we begin?" STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS teaser is online!

I'm telling y'all here and now, that when Star Trek Into Darkness comes out in May... that for the first time in my life I will show up on its premiere night wearing a Starfleet costume. And I will wear the uniform proudly! I even have an idea for it but you good readers will have to just wait and see :-)

So what is it that would so motivate your friend and humble narrator to make such a drastic departure from his usual space saga haberdashery?

Boldly go and watch this teaser trailer! Do it NOW!!

Okay, I am going to place my bets now: that is Khan Noonien Singh who Benedict Cumberbatch is playing. And that's my final answer until we know for sure. Because whoever Cumberbatch's character is he is absurdly strong, agile and blessed with apparently superior intellect. Sound like a certain genetically-enhanced superman to me...

And the rest of the teaser ain't too shabby either :-)

Wanna see it even better? Set your phasers to "fun" and watch it in full high-def glorious Quicktime here!

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First official image from ENDER'S GAME

This is not a good sign...

That's Harrison Ford as Graff and Asa Butterfield as Ender, in the first official pic from the production of Ender's Game, based on Orson Scott Card's classic science-fiction novel.

For the record, I think Butterfield is a terrific and astounding young actor. The first time I saw him in anything it was in Hugo and he brought a spirit and sense of adventure to that film that I hadn't seen from a movie in an awful long time. The kid has a brilliant future ahead of him.

But looking at that pic, with his Ender getting stared-down by Graff... I can't but wonder if this film is being cast well at all.

It's like this: Ender should be smaller. And younger. Butterfield in this photo looks like he could be Ender Wiggin, but a few years down the line. At this point in his career, freshly arrived at the Battle School, Ender needs to be more prepubescent. And much more puny. One of the things about the novel that resonated most with me (and a lot of other readers) was that Ender is almost a primal force of nature contained within the body of a very small and very young boy. And then how the adults turn that boy into something to be used and exploited and ultimately employed as a weapon of mass destruction. Ender's Game is a very moving tale of innocence lost and that it's not just Ender but a bunch of children who likewise are being trained to fight the Formics no matter the personal cost... it makes the loss of innocence that much more a damning thing.

We need to see that in the eyes, in the stature of Ender. And I just can't see that here.

But, I've been wrong before. We'll find out next year.

(Though I do think that Ben Kingsley as Mazer Rackham was a severe stroke of genius casting :-)

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"Every one I know goes away in the end..."

Eleven months ago I posted this video following the death of my mother. It seemed like the song most reflective of the emotion that I was feeling.

In the past few weeks no less than five people who I had known for most of my life have also passed away. There are a few with us still, who are now being comforted in their final days.

Yesterday a friend for more than thirty years, a person I had known since kindergarten and came up through high school with, was taken from us.

I posted it on Facebook late last night, and some said that it was the perfect song for what a lot of longtime friends and family are going through right now. And since she was a huge fan of country music, it seemed all the more appropriate to use it here too, in her memory.



Michelle, we thank God for the time He gave us with you. We will always remember your bubbly personality, your beautiful smile, and your zest for life.

Until we all meet again...

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Assault on Woodbury! Mancave! TYREESE! Mid-season finale of THE WALKING DEAD is a blaze of gory!

JEEBUS CRIPES CRISPIES WITH MILK AND ONIONS!!

Andrea?! What the hell are you doing still hanging around Woodbury?!?

The last episode of AMC's The Walking Dead until Season 3 resumes in February was beyond mortal hyperbole. It aired yesterday evening but at the moment I'm still unable to catch it until either Monday mornings or evenings ('cuz that's how I'm currently able to "watch" it with Kristen). So just after 6 tonight we cued up together and I cranked up the DVR.

Good. Lord.

The very first moments of "Made to Suffer" finally brought to TV a character from the comic series that fans have been demanding almost since this show began: Tyreese! And I don't think it was at all coincidence that we got a fleeting glimpse of a certain other character in this episode: Tyreese is no doubt going to become the lieutenant and force of accountability that Rick needs and has always needed, whether he realizes it or not. Chad Coleman is gob-smogglingly bringing it as the pro football player-turned-zombie holocaust badass.

Chandler Riggs, as he has throughout this season, shows us again why he deserves at least a Best Supporting Actor nomination at this season's Emmy Awards for his portrayal of Carl.

For the sake of those who haven't seen "Made to Suffer" yet, I do not want to go too much into anything that happens with Rick and his group when they invade Woodbury to spring Glen and Maggie out of the Governor's stockade. Which Kristen has made an interesting observation: that the two main locations this season are the prison and Woodbury. Isn't it weird that the prison has come to symbolize life and freedom while Woodbury - the nice little town - is the embodiment of bondage and death? Now that's some curious irony if there ever was any.

That said, I am soooo not gonna discuss any at length what happened inside Woodbury during and following the rescue attempt. Except to say that if what we witnessed within the Governor's "mancave" is any indication, we should be EXTREMELY worried that AMC will have the balls to do worse come February.

(Ha-ha-ha, "very funny Chris", yes I should get me to a punnery...)

The Walking Dead is fast becoming maybe the best show of the last decade and a half. It's not about a zombie apocalypse: it's about human nature and what it becomes in the face of cataclysms large and small. There is no "black and white" in this series... but there are some pretty wild shades of gray. It's hard not to sympathize even a smidgeon with the Governor, and for all the good Rick has within him there is also a growing darker side coming out.

Just... wow. I'm reeling from this one, folks. Gonna have to watch it again to absorb it all. A very, very solid episode, and better television than we deserve. Thank goodness it's on basic cable.

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Is China home to most of the world's Christians?

There is an interesting article at the Catholic News Agency's website about the condition of religion in present-day China. Particularly, it presents notable evidence that China will soon have a larger Christian population than any other country.

But in reading this, I am compelled to wonder if the Chinese might already have most of the world's Christians. Maybe more than all other countries put together.

Could that be even possible?

From the article...

During a recent book launch in Rome, a noted theologian said that China will be home to the majority of the world's Christians within the next two decades.

“Interfaith dialogue is something that China, which will have the world's largest Christian population in 20 years, lives with every day,” said Harvey Cox during the presentation at the city's Jesuit Gregorian University.

Cox presented the book “Catholic Engagement with World Religions: A Comprehensive Study, in dialogue with its two editors” on Nov. 30 with Cardinal Karl Josef Becker, a German theologian of the Vatican's the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

The editors include Ilaria Morali of the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue, who also presented the book, and Cardinal Becker.

Cox, who teaches at the Harvard Divinity School in Massachusetts, said the new book “will play an invaluable role” in determining “where we've been in the past, where we are now, and where we're headed.”

“There are two world phenomena happening right now,” he added. “The first is that we can't recognize Christianity as a western religion anymore and the second is that countries with the fastest growing number of Christians don't have a Christian culture or traditions.”

Keep in mind that Cox and Becker are speaking from a Catholic perspective. It is perfectly understandable that they will be presenting their beliefs strictly as Catholics. And though I myself am not a Catholic, I find it intensely fascinating that China might soon have more Catholics than any other nation.

But in terms of Christianity in general... and in keeping with the author's discussion of religious discussion among a variety of viewpoints... I can't but believe that China is home to most of the world's Christians right now.

It has been well known for decades that there is a significant number of "underground churches", or "house churches", which harbor a vast amount of followers of Christ - belonging to no denomination and whose members likely wouldn't even care about denominationalism at all - existing throughout China. We don't know how many Christians in addition to practicing Catholics there might be in that land. There are some who suggest that the population of underground Christians might number in the hundreds of millions. All of whom worship Christ outside the knowledge of the government of communist China. Each practicing their faith in the full understanding that if found out, they risk persecution, imprisonment, and possibly worse. Many are enduring unspeakable hardships even now.

And yet, the body of Christ as counted across the width and breadth of all the followers of Christ, is not only persisting in China but thriving. With a vigor and enthusiasm and sincerity that dwarfs the Christianity... or perhaps "churchianity"... in the western world. Including the Christians of the United States.

What if such hardship and persecution has led to the community of Christians in China becoming far more vast than all of the Christians of America, Canada, Latin America, Europe and Africa... combined?

Yes. Today. This very moment.

And wouldn't it be something if within the lifetime of many reading this blog, that the United States will see an influx of missionaries coming to America from China and other Asian countries to preach Christ to us, rather than sending "our" missionaries abroad?

Because Christianity in the United States... and I can only write about America in this sense because it is the land which I observe every day... has deviated and devolved into something that is fixated more on the material than on matters eternal. We have become a spiritually stagnant people and the church in China, to be honest, puts the "God and Country" brand of our American Christianity to shame. We go into our brightly-lit and brazenly decorated houses of worship every Sunday, listen to "positive preaching" and come out none the worse for wear until the following Sunday, with little or no real encouragement or holding ourselves accountable to God. The believer in China must seek out dim and dark rooms to quietly pray and sing hymns in total silence. But I have spoken to a number of believers from that land, and not one of them has been anything but cheerful and exuberant about their faith in Christ. For them, to seek after Him is absolutely worth the dangers of being discovered by their own government.

And I can't help but wonder what could be if that same eagerness and optimism borne out of love of God and others would catch on at last in my own country.

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The first poster for STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

Sometime in the 23rd century, it's gonna be a very bad day to be in London...

(click to embiggen at warp speed)

The figure looking across the blasted British landscape of the 23rd century is Benedict Cumberbatch's character. At this point I don't believe he's meant to be Gary Mitchell: the new ongoing Star Trek comic series overseen by J.J. Abrams' crew took care of the alternate reality's version of "Where No Man Has Gone Before" right out of the gate, and I heavily doubt they would ignore their own continuity like that by making Mitchell this movie's villain. But I don't think it's going to be Khan either. 2009's Star Trek was a wallop of one surprise after another: it remains the Blu-ray getting the most play at my house. And right now I'm so stoked about Star Trek Into Darkness that I don't care who the bad guy is going to be. This movie will rock and we all know it!

Speaking of Star Trek and things British, the girlfriend and I have seriously been digging the Star Trek: The Next Generation/Doctor Who: Assimilation2 limited series from comic publisher IDW. Yeah they went there: a crossover between Doctor Who and Star Trek. And curiously they work rather well together! Set after the Battle of Wolf 359, Assimilation2 has the Doctor, Amy and Rory landing aboard the Enterprise D just as the Federation is forced to deal once again with the Borg.... who have found a kindred spirit in their new allies the Cybermen. Lots of stuff here that'll appeal to TrekkiesTrekkers and Whovians alike. Hey, "the TARDIS on the Holodeck". What more needs to be said? :-)

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Michael Jackson's THRILLER was released 30 years ago today

Ignoring the obvious - that soon thereafter he began his downward spiral into cosmetic catastrophe and overall instability - it will forever be acknowledged that once upon a time, Michael Jackson was a musical genius. As well as a masterful performer on stage and in his music videos. It was not without reason that he was dubbed the "King of Pop". How long he maintained that title is debatable... but Jackson did earn it.

Thriller, Michael Jackson's masterpiece album, was released thirty years ago today, on November 30th 1982. It remains by a significant margin the best-selling music album in history.

So in honor of Thriller's thirtieth anniversary, here is a photo of the artist behind it. Along with two other celebrated figures from a far, far better era...

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U.S. Government spent $100,000 determining if Jesus died for the Klingons

Senator Tom Coburn from Oklahoma has been digging into the details of the federal budget. Among the things our government is spending our money upon: inventing roll-up beef jerky, the study of goldfish swimming patterns and an iPhone app for scheduling coffee breaks.

And then there's this: $100,000 of taxpayer money to look into the question of whether Jesus Christ died for the Klingon race. Yeah those ridge-headed alien warriors from the Star Trek franchise.

Incidentally, all of the above examples were found in the United States military's budget.

From the story by Heather Clark at Christian News Network...

An Oklahoma senator has released a report outlining what he believes is some of the Pentagon’s most wasteful spending. Among a number of odd items includes a workshop on how Christianity would be affected if aliens were proven to exist.

Senator Tom Coburn is known to be the “waste-watcher” on Capitol Hill, as he investigates unnecessary spending in various branches of the government. On Thursday, he issued what some consider to be a laughable list of Defense Department expenditures that have nothing to do with defense.

In addition to $1.5 billion being spent... was a workshop blending Christianity with the existence of aliens.

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,” focused on “the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets.” According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an “intergalactic gala celebration” was included, at which attendees were urged to don “starship cocktail attire.”

Klingons are are a group of aliens from the fictional sci-fi television and movie series Star Trek, which originated in 1966 and continues (at least in movie format) to present day. The series deals with a band of aliens and humans that seek to solve the problems of the universe, tackling topics such as imperialism, class warfare and racism. Some episodes are also said to have addressed sexism, feminism and religion.

And to think there are some who wonder why so many Americans lately want to secede from the federal government.

$100,000 to look into salvation for the Klingons. I don't care if it's only one dollar: that's our money which has been entrusted into the public treasury... and it is a sacred trust. Even a mere cent used on such a frivolous matter is inexcusable.

But just for humor's sake...

vaD joH'a' muSHa' qo'vetlh ghaH ngeHta'Daj neH puq vaj 'lv HartaH Daq ghaH dlchDaq yln reH

(Courtesy of MrKlingon.org)

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Georgia city hall has a moonshine still (and it's legal too!)

This honestly shouldn't have to be said again, 'cuz I've made enough fuss about it already. But even so...

Folks, I really, really can not help anyone to build, buy or otherwise acquire a moonshine still.

The hit TV series Moonshiners is in the midst of its second season and as last year, this blog is getting slammed with visits from good people looking for information about moonshining in general and about Popcorn Sutton in particular. I'm very honored that The Knight Shift has become such a popular resource for this aspect of Appalachian culture and the most famous practitioner of the art.

But, ummmmm... this sincerely is all that I can do at the moment, friends and neighbors. The moment that such information does become readily available, I'll not only post where you can buy stills but I'll publish blueprints and plans for them too! Hey, I wanna see how a thump keg works as much as anyone else, but right now my hands are tied.

Meanwhile in the mountains of Georgia, the craft continues. Albeit in a most curious location...

The Washington Post has a pretty wild story about moonshiners setting up shop in the town hall of Dawsonville, Georgia. Now lest anyone think that Dawsonville has gone bust and these guys are squatters spiting "the man", y'all should know that the 'shine is being brewed legally! Something of a joint venture between the distillers and the town, among other things to preserve the mythology of moonshine in this part of the country.

I really dig stories like this. But I'm also of a mind that this is a very astute move on the part of the Dawsonville town fathers. What with the way the nation's economy is going down the tubes and how local municipalities are financially struggling, it's encouraging to see a city manufacturing and selling a product with marketable value. Yup, when hyperinflation hits and a hamburger will cost $100 million, Dawsonville will have a serious item of barter on its hands :-)

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Worst. Timed. Commercial. Break. Ever.

Last night's The Walking Dead on AMC brought back the intensity after the past couple of weeks' relative calm (which was needed, after what happened to Lori). This series is consistently demonstrating why many consider it to be the finest show on television right now.

But that's not the point of this post. Instead I have to remark that what you're about to see is either gross negligence or brilliant marketing.

At the end of the next-to-last act of this week's episode "When the Dead Come Knocking" we find Rick and his team trapped in a cabin, nearly surrounded by ravenous walkers. To escape they have to throw a freshly-killed dude out the front door as a distraction. Rick and company flee through the back door while the walkers start munching.

That's the setup. That's all you need to know.

So watch the final few seconds of that act, then look at what AMC did with the commercial break!

Eeeeeewwwwwww...

Too bad KFC isn't using their "Finger Licking Good" slogan anymore, huh?

The accidental(?) scheduling of the ad has gotten lots of attention, including from folks who haven't seen The Walking Dead yet. So I'm wondering if there was method to the madness. If so: well played AMC, well played.

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Turkey Frying... IN COLOR!

Kristen's brother Scott Bradford was a witness to the turkey deep-frying on Thanksgiving two days ago. While maintaining a safe distance (and maybe more than that) he shot some terrific video of the action. Scott edited it together and now for your viewing pleasure y'all can watch the searing heat and tormentuous oil in all its glory!!

Scott also posted the video on his own blog, and he testifies to the exquisite and juicy taste that in a turkey can only be achieved by frying it.

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Larry Hagman, 1931-2012

In memory of Larry Hagman, who passed away yesterday at the age of 81, here is a classic scene from Dallas of his character J.R. Ewing - one of the most despised villains in television history- telling it like it is to on-again/off-again wife Sue Ellen:



In his memory, we should go out today, find a drunken woman, and slap her.

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2012 Thanksgiving: What I am thankful for

It's not Thanksgiving Day right now. It's the day after: often called "Black Friday". Which as some astute observers have noted, we spend one day being thankful for the things we have by spending the next day trampling all over and killing each other trying to get the things we don't have.

Admittedly, there are some things which I do not have at the moment, that I have been in constant prayer about. But I must also acknowledge that I have been far, far more blessed than I would have ever thought possible. During this past year and a half, this has honestly been the happiest that I have been during the course of my entire life. In fact, I feel like my real life is just now getting started...

...and I've a feeling that God might have plenty more good in store yet to come.

So in what I hope is going to be a continuing tradition of The Knight Shift, here is what I am thankful for this year...

I am thankful to finally have a female miniature dachshund puppy, who at times is a lot of aggravation but has still won my heart since the first moment I held her.

I am thankful to have come a long way in managing my bipolar disorder. It has taken the better part of a decade to arrive at this place. And I am exceedingly thankful that publicly chronicling my struggle with this illness has apparently become an encouragement to others. If even one person comes away stronger from reading about my having bipolar, then that alone makes writing about it worth it.

I am thankful for Dad, who has been a true encouragement for me during this past year.

I am thankful for friendships which have endured and for those friendships which have been made since last Thanksgiving.

I am thankful to be getting my creative mojo back. Something which had been missing for the past number of years, for a variety of reasons. I am now back to working on some video projects as well as something else, which Lord willing I will be able to announce sooner than later.

I am thankful to have read many more books in these last several months than I have read in a long, long time! I should finish A Dance with Dragons sometime next week, which will make me caught up finally on the entire Game of Thrones series (well that's what I'm calling it anyway...)

I am thankful to have traveled to Oregon this past June. To have driven through the Columbia River Gorge and to have stood a mile or so away from Mount St. Helens: truly one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life.

I am thankful for Doctor Who and The Walking Dead, which I enjoy watching with my girlfriend.

I am thankful for ballroom dancing, which I am getting better and better at (I can now do the cha-cha, the foxtrot and the swing in addition to rumba and waltz!)

I am thankful to have not gone to jail yet for having a perverse sense of humor.

I am thankful for root beer.

I am thankful for finally playing Diablo II, even though it only took me twelve years to get around to doing so.

I am thankful for this blog, which is about to hit nine years old. And that it seems to have gained even more regular readers and I will endeavor to keep them entertained, enlightened and generally enthralled for a long time still to come.

I am thankful that yes, there WILL be more Star Wars movies! I am thankful for knowing that I will get to take my children to see a new Star Wars trilogy. That Lord willing, I will get to see new Star Wars movies with their children. What a time to be alive.

I am thankful for second chances.

I am thankful for Kristen, who is a far better girlfriend than I could ever deserve to have. I had never thought that I could be this happy, but God certainly has when He put Kristen into my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank Him for the honor of being her boyfriend... and there is not a day that goes by that I don't tell her that I thank God for her.

Most of all, I do thank God for all that He has done, and that I do now see how He has been working across my entire life. To my shame, I had doubted for awhile that He was listening to me, that He cared at all. Now, I know better.

There are more things that I could probably come up with, but those are some of the bigger ones. And Kristen, her parents and I are about to go see Skyfall, so I should wrap this up anyway.

And no doubt next year, there will be even greater things to be thankful for :-)

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Deep-fried turkey, Thanksgiving 2012 Edition

Another Thanksgiving has come... and with it, once again, another round of Yours Truly doin' up some deep-fried turkey!

This year's Thanksgiving was special, in a number of ways. For one, I'm spending it with Kristen and her family. For another, this marks my tenth anniversary of deep-frying turkey! So for those reasons and more, I wanted this one to be extra special.

Here's the turkey chosen to be sacrificed to the flames and the oil. I found one weighing-in at just under 15 pounds: the perfect mass to feed a gang of six! What you see here is the turkey on the spit ready to be fried, after spending thirty-three hours of being marinaded and rubbed down with Cajun seasoning.

In this next photo the oil is almost hot enough to lower the turkey in. The cooking temperature is 350 Fahrenheit. I heat it up to 375 though to begin with, because the temperature is going to drop precipitously when the turkey goes in. Of course, the bird has been patted down good and dry on the outside to keep nasty hot oil from spattering out. Looking at the pot with much interest and anticipation is Kristen's father...

Here we go, (not so) fast and (plenty) furious!! Kristen's brother Scott is shown taking photos, albeit from a considerably safe distance...

Awright, this next picture requires some explanation. The oil was in the pot and I had just turned on the burner when I realized to much horror... my thermometer was broken!!! The trusty instrument that had seen ten years and many, many fried turkeys had died. And at the WORST possible moment too!
No time to panic though. Not as one working with hazardous materials. Certainly not as an Eagle Scout. Kristen's mom and brother made a quick jaunt to Wal-Mart and found two thermometers, neither one of them built with deep-frying safety in mind but hey, ya gotta takes what ya can.

So here is me in what Kristen calls the "fisherman pose": lowering a candy thermometer into the oil with a wire coat hanger!

But, the new thermometer came through with flying colors. And 45 minutes later...

...the culinary masterpiece was ready to be admired for its beauty and its juicy, delicious flavor!

I'm always looking for new ways to improve my turkey-frying technique. There were a couple of tricks that I employed this time for both product quality and personal safety. With the exception of the thermometer emergency, the entire process was by far the smoothest and cleanest that I've ever had.

'Twas a most excellent Thanksgiving dinner! The turkey came out great, and there was the terrific desserts made by Kristen's mom and sister-in-law (Melissa makes the most potent chocolate cupcakes in the history of anything).

And now, I get to enjoy a few weeks' respite before doing this all over again for Christmas. For which I've already been threatened with getting chained to the burner until I make enough fried turkey for everyone who's been demanding it this past year :-P

Update 7:19 pm EST: D'oh!! I forgot to document the music that I chose to fry too! That's also an important part of the ritual.There were a number of albums which came to mind. I think up to a few weeks ago the obvious choice would have been the Game of Thrones Season 1 soundtrack. But then there came the big news of October 30th...

So in celebration of the imminent return we shall be making to that galaxy far, far away, I had Disc 2 of The Empire Strikes Back: Special Edtion playing from my iPod. Not just John Williams' finest composition for a Star Wars movie, but in my opinion the definitive Star Wars orchestral score album!

It was released in February of 1997. And in spite of being the most vintage album to be used during my rituals, it was spot-on perfect for the task. And just after telling friends that this would be the music of the hour, the news broke that Lawrence Kasdan will be returning to the gang and he's writing Episodes VIII and IX! Truly a good omen :-)

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Kristen's Love-ly haircut

I'm spending Thanksgiving with Kristen at her house, along with her family. And as all two of this blog's regular readers well know I go crazy with deep-frying turkey every year for this holiday (and usually Christmas also). That means starting about a day and a half before time to fry, getting the bird all juiced-up with marinade.

So yesterday afternoon, after the third round of injection and putting Cajun rub all over the turkey, I decided to take a little nap. Kristen had gone out to do "some errands" after work. I was still asleep when she returned.

She woke me up. And that's when I saw her shocking new hairdo...

She's never had it that short before! But it was all for a great cause: Locks of Love. It's a nonprofit group devoted to making hairpieces for children who have lost their natural hair due to disease, chemotherapy etc. So Kristen not only got a stylish new 'do, she is making some good kids really happy.

It's still gonna take me awhile to get used to it though... :-P

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Stop Christmas, I want to get off

Let's dispense with the floridity and get to the point:

The holiday season has been damn near ruined by commercial madness.

I'm hearing that some families are having their Thanksgiving gatherings destroyed by Wal-Mart and other retailers mandating their employees be working on Thursday morning. Yeah you read that right: a number of stores are opening at noon on Thanksgiving when everyone else will be gorging on turkey and watching football.

I got a bad vibe when stores like Wal-Mart and Target began putting the Christmas stuff out before Halloween. That's two full months of holiday marketing. One-sixth of the entire year devoted to holiday spending.

Now the radio stations are following suit. 99.5 out of Greensboro - which has traditionally not begun playing Christmas songs until the day after Thanksgiving - is already blaring out 24 hours round the clock of holiday music.

Gad-dommit, STOP IT ALREADY!! I'm bipolar dammit! It's already hard enough for me to slow down my mind. I don't need the year to go by any faster! Neither do most other people. But that's what is happening as a result of the extended holiday season: the year is going by faster. Too fast. The holidays should come at us bursting with joy, not creeping upon us like so much unstoppable kudzu.

I'm this close to just calling off Christmas entirely this year. Not only not giving presents but demanding that I don't receive presents either. This ain't what Christmas is meant to be about. It's supposed to be about family, friends, good times, being thankful for what God has blessed us with...

Did we not learn anything from all those years of A Charlie Brown Christmas?

This is going to be the first Christmas that I spend without my mother. A few friends during the year also lost parents. For some, they know that this will be the last time they will have the holidays with a loved one.

Not all the money in the world, no amount of dollars spent, will ever fill the vacuum left by a beloved friend or family member.

Call me sentimental, but it seems like this is a time to be appreciative of what we have now, instead of accumulating mere material "things". I for one would certainly like to have Mom for another Thanksgiving and Christmas. For the rest of my life I will be haunted by old hurts between us that never really got resolved. It would have been nice to have the time to reconcile those and have just a little more time to share. That will never happen. But I refuse to let that be with anyone else that I care for.

This Thanksgiving, I choose to be thankful. This Christmas, if I don't receive anything at all, that's not going to keep me from enjoying the company of those that I love.

When I consider the madness that will no doubt ensue in a few days' time, it makes me almost wish that this country would have a hard crash. Perhaps then it would bring us to our senses. Compel us to get our priorities back in order. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy getting some Christmas presents: it just isn't perfect unless I get a new pair of sweatpants, some LEGOs and at least one Star Wars toy. But is any of that the focal point of my holidays? More like a nice cherry on top.

Anyhoo, Jennifer Waters at MarketWatch has a considerably recommendable story about retailers ruining Thanksgiving in their war for "Black Friday" bucks. You might have already read it 'cuz it's making the rounds quite a lot already. It's enough to make one pause, and forsake heading to the stores at all on Thanksgiving Day.

Who knows: if enough people stay home, maybe the retailers will come to figure out that it's not worth the money to open the doors earlier than sanity allows.

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No more Twinkies: Labor union destroys Hostess

I hope the idiots in the photo on the right are happy.  Those are some of the members of the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union who went on strike against their employer: Hostess Brands, Inc.

The union has about 5,000 people working at Hostess. As of this morning, their months-long strike has put themselves and thirteen thousand others out of work.

The big news at the time of this writing is Hostess going out of business and liquidating its assets. The company could no longer afford to be in business as a result of the strike. More than 18,500 people are now unemployed.

What a colossal committing of ass-hattery.

But hey, at least the employees responsible can rely on the union bosses to back them up. Not to mention getting government unemployment checks. All out of spite for a measly 2% decrease in pension that Hostess put on the bargaining table. Yeah, win the fight for a tiny amount of pension but put nearly 20,000 people out of work and destroy a favorite snack food for everyone.

Like they say on the basketball court: "Smooth move Ex-lax!"

Labor unions are worse than useless. If this doesn't demonstrate that, I don't know what possibly could.

Better stock up on your favorite Hostess-brand goodies, folks...

 

...'cuz they're about to be gone. Forever.

(I can't imagine any other company right now wanting to buy out Hostess and putting their goodies back into production: it'd cost too much to relocate factories to right-to-work states, and would anyone in their right mind in this economic environment want to go through the hassle anyway?)

It is the end of an era, my friends. A darn shame too, seeing as how Hostess snacks helped to end the reign of terror of so many supervillains back in the day.

Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos, Fruit Pies, Wonder Bread: get 'em now, friends and neighbors. Their value will be greater than gold as barter items on the underground market when the sh-t hits the fan. Probably sooner than later.

But if I were the CEO of Hostess, I wouldn't have put out a press release or called a news conference about what has been done to his company.

This is how I would have delivered the message...

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