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Sunday, February 17, 2013

Why you SHOULDN'T buy THE WALKING DEAD AMC Original Soundtrack Vol. 1

EeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEYYYEEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH...!!!!!!!

This is not cool, AMC. Not cool at all.

A little while ago my beating heart be stilled when I read that the first soundtrack album of AMC's megakewl series The Walking Dead is set to be released on March 19th!

I know, right? Happy-dance time. Because there has been a massive demand for a soundtrack CD from this show for ages. It's at least more than a year overdue.

What have we wanted all this time? Nothing less than The Walking Dead's orchestral score. A bona-fide album of all the major pieces that Bear McCreary has composed for this show. EVERY bit of the music that has been most-desired on a quality album, going back to Season 1.

So are we getting that on March 19th?

LIKE HELL WE ARE!!

Lemme put it this way: I don't possibly see how The Walking Dead: AMC Original Soundtrack Volume 1 can honestly be called an "original soundtrack" with a straight face. Much less marketed and sold to us.

Here's the upcoming CD's cover...

Here is the album's official page on AMC's website, which includes the track listing. There is one - count 'em, ONE - track that could be called something from the score: the title theme. And that one isn't even the actual theme at all but a remix!

I'm getting a little tired of this crap. Longtime readers of this blog know what I mean. Remember the nonsense we went through to get Steve Jablonsky's epic Transformers score released on an album? A lot of people bought that Transformers "soundtrack" CD because they believed in good faith that they were getting Jablonsky's music... only to find that they had been deceived. Some of us pitched a fit (and righteously so) to get a legitimate score CD released. Heck, THOUSANDS of people signed that petition! In the end it finally got published (though I will admit: there is evidence that it was going to be released eventually anyway but hey: "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", right?)

To its credit, that first Transformers album did not say "Soundtrack" on its cover. It said "Music from and inspired by..."

AMC has the gall to call THIS The Walking Dead album a "soundtrack"... and it's... well, it's just gosh-#$&@ dishonest marketing. I see one track in that listing that I would want. That's "The Parting Glass". And I already have that via iTunes.

AMC, listen up: I would be extremely happy to pay good money for a true album of Bear McCreary's The Walking Dead score. So would many, many other fans of the show as well. Remember the music that played at the very end of "Beside the Dying Fire", as the camera panned up and we got our first-ever glimpse of the prison? Or that tense piece in the final scene of "Better Angels" as Rick and Carl are standing in the field, unaware of that gigantic herd of walkers that were approaching the farm?

Those and a bunch more McCreary pieces from Seasons 1 and 2, we are eager to get our grubby paws on. We want this more than you might imagine. We do not want this new "Original Soundtrack Vol. 1" when to call it a soundtrack is disingenuous at best.

So be warned my fellow Walk-aholics: if you are looking for Bear McCreary's The Walking Dead soundtrack score, it won't be on The Walking Dead: AMC Original Soundtrack Vol. 1. I don't know what precisely to call this album: maybe an "inspired by..." compilation. But it is not an honest-to-goodness soundtrack in the least shape or form.

AMC, fix this. You know what needs to be done.

Don't make us go all-petitiony and media-mayheming on y'all...

Friday, February 15, 2013

Meteorite(s?) smashing Russia this morning

CNN and Fox News are proving they're worse than useless this morning when it comes to breaking news! The "big story" in the U.S. this hour is still that damned Carnival boat that was crippled at sea for the past week.

Meanwhile our friends in Russia are having to deal with a real-life Michael Bay movie unfolding even now...

Check out these bits of footage that are coming in from the Urals, especially the vicinity of Chelyabinsk, where a few hours ago the area was struck by a barrage of meteorites:




There are reports as of this writing that at least 500 people have been injured, mostly from glass shattering because of sonic booms as the meteorite or meteorites exploded in mid-air. However a lot of fragments hit the ground (including crashing through a zinc factory). I'm not hearing of any fatalities yet. Let's pray that there are none.

However to the best of my knowledge, the Chelyabinsk event today has produced about 500% more injuries than all the wounds caused by meteorites of the past sixty years or so combined. The one that best comes to mind right now is one lady in the Fifties who was struck on the leg by a tiny meteor fragment that crashed through the roof of her house as she lay on her sofa watching television.

Twitter is going nuts at the moment with even more footage and tons of photos that witnesses took of the meteor. This is not going to be a situation as difficult to document as the Tunguska event was.

Now hearing that authorities are considering the possibility that more strikes may be expected.

What a week this has been. First Benedict XVI announces his retirement, now this. I'm doubly-cursed to be a fanatic about both history and science (especially astronomy). What's that they say: "No rest for the wicked".

Seriously though, this is gonna be something to watch over the next few days. No doubt even more footage and pics are gonna be making their way onto the Intertubes.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

So... about that "Peter of Rome" thingy...

sigh...

Honestly, I did not want to address this at all. I'll admit some wacky speculation on this site before (mostly a reflection of an earlier incarnation, a few "regenerations" back in Doctor Who parlance) but the last thing I want is for this blog to descend into conspiracy-theory territory. The sort that the History Channel has been devolving into the past few years...

"I'm not saying that it's aliens... but IT'S ALIENS."

But seeing as how FOUR e-mails have come in during the past 48 hours, asking for my take on this, it might as well get some blogspace. And this is the only time that I'm gonna touch upon this.

The gist of the inquiries has been: "Hey Chris, what do you think about the next pope being Petrus Romanus from the Malachy prophecy?"

It's one of the more prominent bits of odd lore accumulated over the centuries. That in 1139 an Irish archbishop named Malachy (later Saint Malachy) had a prophetic vision of all the popes that were to come until the end of time. Supposedly Malachy wrote down his vision as a series of Latin phrases for each respective future pope. And then - so the story goes - his recording of the vision was put onto the dusty shelves of the Vatican's archives and forgotten until 1590, when it was found anew.

There is considerable evidence suggesting that Malachy's "papal forecast" is a forgery created shortly before its "discovery". Nonetheless, there are many who contend that Malachy's purported "New Fathers Almanac" has proven remarkably accurate in recent centuries. You can read the entire prophecy yourself, if you feel so led. Indeed, it is a curious coincidence that the phrase corresponding to John Paul II, "De labore Solis", has been translated as "from the eclipse of the Sun"... and that John Paul II was born during a solar eclipse in 1920 and was buried during a solar eclipse in 2005. It was curious enough that I made a blog post about it at the time. Parse all of this as you will...

Anyhoo, after John Paul II's respective entry we get this: "Gloria olivæ", meaning "The glory of the Olives". That Benedict XVI chose his papal name in reference to the Benedictine Order, a symbol of which is an olive branch, has not gone unremarked by, ummmm... "certain folks".

Here is where things threaten to get completely wonky...

The very next pope after Gloria olivæ is "Petrus Romanus", translated from Latin as "Peter the Roman". And here is Malachy's alleged description for this pope:

In persecutione extrema S.R.E. sedebit Petrus Romanus, qui pascet oves in multis tribulationibus: quibus transactis civitas septicollis diruetur, & Judex tremêdus judicabit populum suum. Finis.
Translated into English thusly:
"In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."
So according to Malachy's vision, the next pope, "Peter the Roman", will be the occupant of the Vatican when the end of the world finally happens.

Some have suggested that Peter the Roman will be the Antichrist, or at least the False Prophet described in the Book of Revelation.

And we thought Aerys II Targaryen was bad news...

Awright, well... what do I think about this, Saint Malachy's "Prophecy of the Popes"?

I think a lot of people are about to be disappointed.

I do not believe that there is anything particularly mystical about Malachy's prophecies. For one thing, any one of the mottoes listed could be interpreted a dozen ways and more. The phrase corresponding to John Paul II has at least three that I'm aware of, including one that would mean "From the turmoil of the east", AKA from behind the Iron Curtain of eastern Europe (John Paul II coming from Poland in the days of Communist rule). For another thing, it remains quite possible that there exists, in the case of Saint Malachy's purported vision, a thing as "self-fulfilling prophecy". The "Prophecy of the Popes" certainly must be something that every Catholic clergyman is aware of. It's not hard to imagine that it would lurk on the subconscious edge of all who have ever been involved in the higher administrations of the Roman Catholic Church and thus, might play an unacknowledged part in the roll call of popes.

So lemme be succinct: I believe that after Benedict XVI steps down as pope on February 28th, that there will be the prescribed Conclave of the College of Cardinals. A new pope will be elected. He will be according to our Catholic brethren the Bishop of Rome, the Vicar of Christ, the successor to Saint Peter. And then at the end of his term, whether by death or by resignation, he will be succeeded by another. And that pope will eventually be succeeded. And so on.

In other words: Malachy's prophecy will probably be rendered thoroughly kaput during the next few years. If not months, or even weeks. Over four hundred years of worrying about the end of the world (at least on the papal forecast's watch) will cease. The "Prophecy of the Popes" will become considered an odd relic of Armageddon-ish hysteria.

But I don't think for a moment that the Mother of All Silly Seasons isn't descending upon us fast and hard. If you thought that the "Mayan Apocalypse" stuff was crazy, y'all ain't seen nuthin' yet. Heck, I've seen more essays and articles about "Petrus Romanus"/"Peter the Roman" - from both the mainstream press and "new media" such as established blogs - published in the past 48 hours than I've seen during the past fifteen years put together.

Brace yourself, Dear Reader. The wackiness is already ramping up and it's about to go full-tilt balls-to-the-walls off-the-chain bonkers.

Be of good cheer! Lord willing, I'm gonna be an old gray man taking my grandchildren to see Star Wars Episode XXVII someday. And long before that happens we will have all forgotten about the imminent hysterics.

But I have to confess: I'm probably going to be in a near-constant giggle-fit watching the stuff that's going to be happening soon:

"I'm not saying it's the end of the world... but IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD."

Unprecedented: Handling the retirement of Benedict XVI

If love of history is a vice, then the past couple of days have been hardcore porn for me.

Inclement weather brought on icy roads this past Sunday night, so I decided to stay over at my girlfriend's house and leave early the next morning. I was already awake up in the guest room when the news broke that Pope Benedict XVI had announced he would be resigning at the end of the month. It was shocking enough to send me racing downstairs to knock on Kristen's bedroom door to tell her about it.

I'm kinda glad for the early-morning insomnia: Lord only knows what would have happened if I was halfway asleep and heard something like that. Probably have broken my neck trying to tumble out of bed...

This sort of thing is absolutely fascinating to me. It has been very nearly 600 years since the last time a pope left of his own accord... and that was amidst severe theological strife within the Catholic Church. It is certainly something that has been scarcely contemplated - if at all - that might transpire in our modern era. And by all accounts Benedict kept his decision close to his heart, letting extremely few senior clergy in the loop about it until Monday morning Rome time.

(What I wouldn't have given to be a fly on the wall at the Vatican PR office when they got handed that for a press release...)

The reaction of the College of Cardinals? Probably something along the lines of... and please forgive my germane lingo... "Oh crud, NOW what?!?"

So, after six centuries of knowing what to do when a sitting pope died, how is the Church going to handle a resignation?

The most interesting live Twitter-ing I've ever followed was courtesy of of Father Roderick Vonhogen: podcaster, writer and go-to guy of all things Catholicism-related (and word on the street is that he's a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen). You can visit his official website here. Yesterday morning he was on Twitter like a madman, sharing the official press conference given by Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi.

I was intently following along. And what did the good padre have to report about His Holiness' imminent departure from the business of the Holy See?

- Today being Ash Wednesday, the celebrations will continue as scheduled but will be moved to Saint Peter's Basilica because of the enormous crowds that are to be expected.

- Benedict XVI's final general audience will be on February 27th, the day before his resignation takes effect. It will be in Saint Peter's Square, again because of the vast number of people that is anticipated.

- Apparently there will be no special ceremonies or celebrations to mark Benedict's departure. He will simply "leave working at the office" at 8 p.m. that evening, as is his usual custom.

- Where does a former pope live? In Benedict XVI's case it will be to a small monastery on the grounds of the Vatican. The monastery of Mater Ecclesiae is now being prepared to be Benedict's future home.

- But what are we supposed to call the man who once was pope? This is apparently something still being discussed but for the time being, "Papal Emeritus" is the current term.

- Benedict XVI and the incoming pope will decide if Benedict will have a part in the installation of the new pontiff.

- "This is a new situation" regarding the Ring of the Fisherman: the ring which each pope wears and is used to seal official documents. It has traditionally been smashed in front of witnesses by the Camerlengo (Cardinal Chamberlain) immediately upon the death of the pope so as to prevent forgeries that might be produced during Sede Vacante: "the time of the empty chair". The Ring of the Fisherman and all other official effects pertaining to Benedict XVI's ministry will be destroyed as usual... but they just haven't figured out how to do it yet.

- Benedict XVI will not participate in the selection of the next pope. The College of Cardinals will be "autonomous", Father Roderick reported. And Benedict XVI is prohibited from taking part in Conclave (the College of Cardinals' secret deliberation and election, during which the cardinals are sequestered away in the Vatican with no outside correspondence, communication or departure whatsoever until a new pope is chosen). For one thing he is past the age of 80: the cut-off for cardinals to be electors in a papal election. For another, Benedict XVI is no longer a cardinal anyway (I thought that was especially interesting).

- Preparations for the Conclave will begin on March 1st. Conclave must begin no sooner than 15 days and no later than 20 days after the resignation of Benedict XVI.

- As Father Roderick conveyed from Father Lombardi: "the Pope doesn't gather the cardinals for the new conclave; they are smart enough to know that they should be here in March."

I am not a Catholic, but I have always found the history and procedures of the Roman Catholic Church to be extraordinarily gripping stuff. And it's not gonna get much more gripping than what is about to occur during the next several days and weeks.

Pay close attention to this time, good readers! Regardless of your religious persuasion, this might well be something you can tell your grandchildren about.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

BattleMech in the Russian Revolution wrecks havoc with Australian students!

From the land Down Under, The Age has the following very strange story of historical revisionism and giant robots. From the article...

VCE scores changed over Battle Tech Marauder confusion

February 8, 2013
Jewel Topsfield

One hundred and thirty confused VCE history students had their scores adjusted after an artwork featuring a mysterious robot who appeared to be assisting socialist revolutionaries in 1917 was accidentally used in last year's exam.

The VCE exam body apologised after the doctored version of Storming of the Winter Palace by Nikolai Kochergin formed part of a question about the Russian Revolution in the History: Revolutions exam.

The altered image had been sourced from the internet.

While many students did not notice a giant robot - rather like BattleTech Marauder II – in the background of the artwork, others were distracted by the strange image, suggesting it was anything from a statue of prime minister Alexander Kerensky, who was supported by the Mensheviks, to the battleship Aurora.

A Victorian Curriculum and Assessment Authority spokesman said that of the 2379 students who answered that question in the exam, 130 or 5.5 per cent, had their scores adjusted due to the robot.

The exam body looked at every student's answer to the question in relation to their marks on the rest of the paper.

Where their score for that question was significantly lower than the projected score, it was adjusted up to the expected range.

The VCAA spokesman said 27 students referred to the robot image in their answer.

Click on the above link to see the original painting as well as a close-up model of a Maurader II BattleMech.

Those students were way off anyway: everyone knows that Alexsandr Kerensky piloted an Atlas BattleMech, not a Maurader II!

(That's all I got.)

Monday, February 11, 2013

The world in 1415

I was already up in the wee hours of the morning when the news came out of the Vatican that Pope Benedict XVI, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, announced that he will be resigning the papacy at the end of this month.

My first thought was "is this a joke?", but that notion lasted the better part of 8 seconds. When it finally sank in that His Holiness would, indeed, be exiting the post he has held since succeeding John Paul II in 2005, my mind went reeling. And it hasn't slowed any throughout this day.

I am not Catholic, but I did know that it had been a long... like, a waaaay long time, since a sitting pope had left the Holy See by choice. It turns out that the last time was Pope Gregory XII. That was in 1415.

Nearly six hundred years ago.

Ummmm... "wow"?

Consider the world that was in 1415...

There had actually been two popes: a result of the "Papal Schism". One pope held court in Rome and another in Avignon, France. Gregory XII's resignation as Bishop of Rome was meant to be a "healing gesture". It also signaled an end to much of the papacy's political power.

The Protestant Reformation was one hundred years in the future. It would have to await the birth of Martin Luther in 1483. However in that very year of 1415, Jan Hus had been burned at the stake for having "heretical" beliefs in defiance of papal supremacy. His teachings would soon give rise to the Moravian Church.

The Renaissance was beginning in the city of Florence.

Christopher Columbus was 36 years from being born.

The Hundred Years' War raged between England and France.

Joan of Arc was five years old.

The Roman Empire still existed, albeit a tiny fragment of its former glory.

The Ottoman Turks had begun to concern the powers of Europe. The Ottomans' conquest of Constantinople would come 38 years later. The Ottoman Empire would endure until 1922 following the defeat of the Central Powers in World War I.

China, Siberia and eastern Europe were still fresh from the dominion of the Mongol Empire founded by Genghis Khan. It would be another sixty years before the Rus' of Muscovy would finally win their freedom from the Mongol and Tartar hordes.

The Moorish kingdoms controlled north Africa and much of Spain.

Much of Europe was still recovering from the Black Death.

The Aztecs were at the height of their power in what is today Mexico. The Mayan culture still flourished in the Yucatan Peninsula. The Inca civilization dominated South America.

The average life expectancy throughout the known world was 40 to 45.

Like I said: "wow".

And then when one ponders the world then, and all of the history which has transpired between then and now...

Pay close attention, dear readers. Today's announcement is in many ways the most historic event from the religious realm in half a millennium. A voluntary abdication/resignation from the papacy has happened before, but nowhere close to any time in the annals of the chronicled modern era.

I was blogging a lot about the passing of Pope John Paul II in 2005 and the election of his successor. I thought it would be a long time before I'd have to wait to see the white smoke again. But now, it might well happen before the arrival of spring.

Interesting times, folks :-)

Saw WARM BODIES yesterday...

I can't decide if Warm Bodies is a zombie movie with romance and comedy or if it's a romantic comedy with zombies. Either way, I enjoyed it.

(Yeah I'm making two posts in a row about zombies. I'll refrain from overkill by stating here that we also saw the trailer for World War Z and it looked much better than that ad that ran during the Super Bowl"big game".)

Warm Bodies is something I haven't been familiar with before: a zombie movie from the zombie's point of view. R (played by Nicholas Hoult) is a recently undead who wanders around the ruined shell of an airport. The shambling corpses are split into two varieties: the "regular" zombies who continue to shuffle along in mimicry of the patterns of their former lives. And then there are "bonies": those zombies whose decomposition has brought them too far gone to be helped. And all the while we're getting a running commentary of monologue from R courtesy of voice-over. Sorta like the flip-side of the Zombieland coin.

R's "life" is in the shadow of an armed enclave of normal humans (led and controlled with an iron hand by John Malkovich) which sends scouting parties out on a regular basis to find food, medicine and ammo. Unfortunately one one such mission a party is attacked and R encounters Julie (Teresa Palmer), the bossman's daughter.

What ensues is like a classic age-old tale of star-crossed lovers. Except she's young and smart and beautiful and he's... dead.

I know. It sounds like twelve degrees of total hokey. And to be honest I wasn't too crazy about Warm Bodies when I heard about its premise. But having seen it, I cannot but confess that it was a cute little movie and quite worth spending an afternoon watching (especially with a girlfriend). In a genre that has become stretched thin and tired and oh so terribly anemic, Warm Bodies is a refreshing breeze that succeeds admirably.

And the zombie genre could learn something from it, too!

THE WALKING DEAD returns with "The Suicide King"

It's currently taking me about 20 hours to watch a new episode of AMC's The Walking Dead after it premieres on cable. That's out of voluntary choice however, because I'm a good boyfriend. See, m'lady Kristen is a huge fan of this show too... but since we're over an hour away from each other and she doesn't get regular cable (note to self: get Roku as soon as possible) we just wait 'til our schedules can jibe the next day, then we sync my DVR and her Internet streaming and voila: we get to see one of our favorite shows together after all!

But I gotta tell y'all: with it being more than two months since the crazy events of "Made to Suffer", those 20 hours between last night and early this evening were torture to wait through...

"The Suicide King" picked up right where "Made to Suffer" ended: with brothers Daryl and Merle together at last. Unfortunately they're in the middle of Thunderdome: Woodbury Edition (did anyone else feel like chanting "Two men enter, one man leaves!"?) and The Governor insists upon a show despite Andrea's protests. What followed was one of the best firefights we've seen yet as Rick and crew came to the rescue.

But action ain't the biggest reason why so many of us are hooked on The Walking Dead. This is a well-written, well-plotted drama about very human characters, their relationships and their conflicts with each other.

And right now the two biggest conflicts to watch are The Governor and Rick. As much in conflict within themselves as they are with the world around them. And since we just know that they and their respective factions are going to eventually meet face-to-face...

Two thoughts about this episode. First, David Morrissey has now firmly established his portrayal of The Governor as the most menacing, diabolical and certainly manipulative bad guy on television today. The "benign dictator" schtick is losing its benign and if anybody in Woodbury cares, they fast forgot about it. Especially after that little speech that Andrea gave. Who doesn't think that she was doing exactly what The Governor wanted her to do?

But that stuff was small potatoes compared to watching Rick Grimes' continuing descent into madness.

If Andrew Lincoln gets nominated for an Emmy, that scene at the end of "The Suicide King" is what will be aired at the ceremony: I'd wager money on it. Bless his heart, the man is trying hard to keep the group together, to maintain some hold on his purpose, on his mind, on his soul. We've seen lately how that's been tentative at best and then when hit with the matter of Tyrese and his group...

Good God. The man has gone cuckoo for Cuckoo Puffs full-tilt wacko. Remember that scene in John Carpenter's The Thing where Wilford Brimley went nuts and began shooting and chopping up the place with the fire axe? Well if Hershel, Glenn and Tyrese don't get Rick sedated and restrained Lord only knows what he'll do to himself.

(At least now it makes sense why a certain cast member's name is still in the opening credits...)

Chad Coleman's Tyrese is fast becoming one of my favorite characters on this show ever: there's a quiet and thoughtful determination behind that brute strength he carries, and that's something the group is gonna need. It was also fun to see his former football colleague Hines Ward as a walker (if you missed him, he gets a fairly good closeup before getting thrashed bad right after the group is through the fence fleeing Woodbury).

Not the best episode we've seen this season (it's gonna be really hard to top "Killer Within") but still an altogether solid episode to return from a mid-season hiatus from, while changing up the board for what will doubtless be harsher stuff to come.

Thursday, February 07, 2013

"Winter is coming"... and this iOS app will help guide your way!

Last spring I added a new vice to my list of stuff worth spending valuable time on. I haven't spoken about it on this blog yet but those who know me best will tell you that I have become a huge fan of A Song of Ice and Fire (AKA Game of Thrones), the fantasy novel series by George R.R. Martin. Kristen gave me a Barnes & Noble gift card for my birthday last year and I used it to buy A Game of Thrones. When June rolled around I wound up taking A Feast for Crows along on our trip to Oregon. And just before Christmas I finished the most recent book, A Dance with Dragons.

I am digging the heck out of this series! My three absolutely favorite characters are Jon Snow, Arya Stark and Tyrion Lannister. Especially Tyrion: it's impossible to get enough of that guy! Jon and his direwolf Ghost - with the Wall behind them - are the wallpaper on my desktop and iPad. And if I ever have a daughter someday I hope she's even half as spunky as Arya is.

And all of this was before I had even watched HBO's Game of Thrones, the acclaimed television series based on the books. I just finished the Blu-ray set of Season 1 and am looking forward to getting Season 2 when it comes out. Maybe there'll be a way I can sneak some premium cable by the time Season 3 begins late next month. I can see now why Peter Dinklage earned that Emmy: his portrayal of Tyrion is the most electrifying character on television lately.

"Stick them with the pointy end!"
While we're waiting for the next volume, The Winds of Winter, to get published one of these daysyears, if you're also a fanatic for all things Westeros and have an iPad or other Apple gadget then you should check out A World of Ice and Fire app for iOS devices. It's not as thorough as A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki and it isn't as definitive as it could (and let's hope eventually will) be, but as a basic guide for the Game of Thrones it comes pretty handy. The app is loaded with character biographies, genealogical info (so you can keep track of which is Robert Baratheon and Robert Arryn, who I'd love to see thrown through the Moon Door someday), maps of the various regions, some really nice artwork of many of the characters and locations... all things considered good enough to recommend for downloading from the App Store. It's not "perfect" but it still ample merit for some positive mentioning. There is even an option that will keep "spoilers" hidden until you've completed reading any book in the series. It's a free app but some features you'll have to pay for. Even so, it can be pretty useful while following the machinations, manipulations and myriads of characters fighting to control the Iron Throne!

Wars have consequences. Don't we know that?

My great-uncle Rob was a G.I. who served in the Pacific during World War II. But unless you were family you likely would have never known that. It was something that, like many others who served during that conflict, he never liked to talk about.

Mom told me when I was a child that Uncle Rob had to kill an enemy soldier. I didn't know until years later that it was during the American invasion of Okinawa. Uncle Rob dived into a foxhole for cover. At almost the same moment a Japanese soldier jumped inside the same foxhole.

The Japanese man said something that Uncle Rob could not understand. My great-uncle killed him without thinking. He beheaded the Japanese soldier with the bayonet of his rifle.

Uncle Rob was one of the kindest, gentlest men that you could ever meet in this world. But from a young age I sensed that he was a very haunted man. "Post-traumatic stress disorder" wasn't medical terminology until the tail end of the Vietnam War, but by then Uncle Rob had lived with it for thirty years. Until his passing in 1993 his experiences in the war would continue to linger on the edge of his memory. I once saw him go pale in the face as an Army helicopter out of Fort Bragg flew overhead.

Like I said, my great-uncle was a good man. So were the millions of other young men who went off to Europe and the Pacific islands to stand against their country's enemies in World War II. Another member of my family was already in the Army stationed in the Philippines when the Japanese invaded. He survived the war... barely. A friend of my family who died recently was one of General Patton's staff officers. I had no idea that in my friend's house, which I'd been inside a few times, there was some of Hermann Goering's finest dinnerware. Turns out that a lot of the Third Reich elites' personal items made their way into farmhouses across America, but I digress...

War is terrible. Perhaps the most terrible thing. It is an unfortunate result of this fallen, broken world that war happens. That war is, sometimes, necessary and unavoidable. But I've never understood why war could possibly be a thing to be glorified, or honored. To respect and honor the sacrifices made by those who served in war, absolutely. But war itself?

I posit that our perspective on war is a far different matter than how our grandfathers and their brothers saw it. None of them regarded themselves as "heroes" because they wore a uniform or went abroad or even because they fought in combat. They knew they had a job to do, they did it and they came back to be husbands and fathers and productive members of the community. That was enough for them. Today we have an inclination to deem anybody and everybody who wears a uniform as "heroic". World War II was a conflict where we knew who the bad guys were and we knew that we had to defeat them and we knew why they had to be defeated.

But I can't for the life of me understand how any war that America has engaged in during my lifetime has had either a definitive enemy or a definitive objective. Sometimes both.

For more than ten years we have had our forces fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. For almost two years Osama bin Laden has been sleeping with the fishes, and Al-Quaeda has been quashed more or less, yet we try to conquer a land that not Alexander or the Soviets could overcome. The Iraq War turned into a costly experiment in "nation-building" (as many of us knew it would).

America's running tab the past decade and more is now a few trillion dollars and thousands of American lives lost, when the matter of bin Laden could have been resolved easily within a matter of months after 9/11. As for Iraq well, I've written before how that country needs a "strongman" figure along the lines of Tito to hold it together and how the United States has become that strongman in the absence of Saddam, but again I digress...

I was led to write something after watching what has transpired in the past few days regarding what former Representative Ron Paul said via Twitter about the shooting death of Chris Kyle, the retired Navy SEAL considered to be the most lethal sniper in American military history...

As a longtime supporter of Ron Paul, I will admit that the former congressman exercised the wrong tact. Almost certainly an ill sense of timing. However, I do believe that I can understand what he is trying to state in 140 characters or less. Paul is - apparently - noting that war has consequences, that those who fight in war must live with those consequences... and there may even be a snide remark in there about how our system has failed many of those who come back from war.

Maybe it's just me, but war seems a horrific enough thing by nature that there should be no immediate desire to write bestselling books about fighting in one. An armed forces uniform does not a hero make. Neither should tactical operations readily produce celebrities (Alvin York being one of the few exceptions).

Anyway, Ron Paul released the following on his Facebook page later on Monday...

Paul acknowledged - and there is no reason why any person should not - that Kyle's death was sad, tragic and unnecessary. But Paul also stated that...

Unconstitutional and unnecessary wars have endless unintended consequences. A policy of non-violence, as Christ preached, would have prevented this and similar tragedies.
Now, is there anything at all wrong with this, which Ron Paul has said? Because I've read it over dozens of times and I'm not seeing anything un-American, unpatriotic or insensitive toward the memory of Chris Kyle. What I am seeing however is an uncomfortable truth: that war comes at a cost. War without meaning, far more so.

I see no reason why the former congressman should be reviled for saying what he did. Instead I have read a lot of anger and even hatred vented toward the man because... well, he strongly suggested that wars involving America can be - gasp - wrong on moral and legal grounds.

But we aren't supposed to dwell upon those trivialities, according to some. Instead we are to cheer on the war, cheer on the "heroes", forgetting that too many are coming home with wounds whether visible or not.

When a young man or woman enlists in the United States armed forces, he or she is making a sacrifice of a few years of their lives. Years that could otherwise be spent in college, falling in love and starting families, buying houses, earning money. Some even choose to spend their entire lives in such sacrifice toward serving their country.

Again, perhaps it's just me, but it seems that if any person is going to lend his life and precious time to his country and its government, that that person more than deserves to trust that his time... and perhaps even his very life... will be used wisely, be given the utmost and sincerest respect, and expended only when all other options have failed.

Those who fought in World War II paid for that understanding in grief and blood and were humbled by it. As well we should.

Fred Astaire, dancing, in full makeup as Alfred E. Neuman...

The temptation yesterday was to post this then. But it's something so offbeat and unique that I felt the original article at Ain't It Cool News deserved 24 hours to stand on its own. But I really could not possibly be more giddy about sharing this...

In 1959, dancing legend Fred Astaire had a televised special called... well, Another Evening With Fred Astaire. And during it he did a routine with Barrie Chase.

And for whatever reason, Astaire chose to perform as Alfred E. Neuman. Yup, the gap-toothed ever-grinning mascot of MAD Magazine.

Astaire went all-out. The costume was spot-on Neuman. And for good measure he brought aboard makeup and prosthetics genius John Chambers (who went on to create the ape makeup and appliances for Planet of the Apes a few years later) to bring Neuman to life.

How did it turn out? Here's Fred Astaire as Alfred E. Neuman...

"What, me worry?"

This was 1959. MAD Magazine hadn't been in existence for very long (and even less in its modern satirical format). It's fascinating to me that in that brief a time, Alfred E. Neuman had become a classic enough character for Astaire to pay homage(?) to.

But wait, there's more! Here's the clip from Another Evening With Fred Astaire of "Alfred" dancing with Barrie Chase!

My girlfriend is into ballroom dancing bigtime and she thinks Astaire and Chase gave a great performance. I'm not as good a dancer as she is but I have to concur. If for no other reason than because MAD influenced me so much while growing up.

Tip o' the hat to Eric Vespe - AKA "Quint" - of Ain't It Cool News for this amazing find!

Restaurant gives parents $4 discount for "WELL BEHAVED KIDS"

You can't have any doubt: those three kids are going to turn out great! They're gonna be really thankful someday that they have two awesome parents like the Kings.

Laura King and her husband took their three children - ages two, three and eight - out for dinner at a swanky Italian restaurant in Poulsbo, Washington. And when they got the ticket at the end of the meal... it listed a four-dollar discount for "WELL BEHAVED KIDS"!

From the MailOnline story...

A Washington couple were left stunned after their server handed them the bill for their family's dinner - and they saw they had been given a $4 discount for their 'Well Behaved Kids'.

Laura King and her husband took their three children, aged two, three and eight, to an Italian restaurant in Poulsbo to enjoy an early-evening meal last Friday.

As they tucked into their feast of pizza, pasta and mushroom ragu, the family discussed planets, racecars, zebra jokes, and commented on the warm decor of the restaurant, Mrs King said.

'They were just being their normal selves,' she told Today.com of her children. 'Our server came to our table and just really thanked us for having exceptionally behaved children.'

After the server brought them a bowl of ice cream to share, they received the tab - and saw it had been discounted by $4 for 'Well Behaved Kids'.

There's plenty more at the link above, including photos of what can only be described as a beautiful little family. And Laura King has posted much more about her family's life when it comes to meals together on her personal blog. Well worth reading for anyone with children (or anyone considering having them :-)

Monday, February 04, 2013

Missing no more: King Richard III found at last!

They paved Plantagenet and put up a parking lot.
Richard III of England, in better days
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
-- Richard III
Act I, Scene 1, by William Shakespeare

The realms of history and archaeology are run amok with chatter this day with the news that the remains of King Richard III, the last of the Plantagenet monarchs, have been positively identified. The bones were discovered last year beneath, of all places, a parking lot in Leicester.

(Does this renew hope that Jimmy Hoffa will yet be found, or what?)

Richard III ruled England from 1483 to 1485... and what wild years they were! It was the War of the Roses between the houses of York and Lancaster. And then that upstart Henry Tudor crashed the party. Richard III and his army fought the Tudor boys at the Battle of Bosworth Field on August 22, 1485. It did not go well: Henry Tudor won the day (before going on to become King Henry VII) and Richard III was killed in manner most foul!

So history tells us that afterward some Franciscan monks took poor Richard's body to their church in Leicester and buried him there. And then decades later in 1538 that bastitch Henry VIII was hellbent on destroying many churches and monasteries throughout his lands. The site of the church - and Richard III's resting place - wound up neglected and ultimately forgotten. It might have remained so, were it not for a group of researchers from the University of Leicester who last year, working through "map regression" of recent geography back through to the Middle Ages, rediscovered the site. In the process they came across this skeleton...

Regardless of the nasty propaganda that the Tudors disseminated about him (and which Shakespeare unwittingly helped to perpetuate) it can't be denied: Richard III had a severe case of scoliosis.

Anyhoo, it's really him! The wounds found on the skull correspond with reports of those Richard received at Bosworth Field. And analysis of mitochondrial DNA from the bones and those of Michael Ibsen - a descendant of Richard's sister, Anne of York - have confirmed it.

And where has Richard III been for many of the past 528 years? Buried beneath a modern parking lot in Leicester.

It's been announced that Richard III will be re-buried - this time with a coffin and proper honors - at Leicester Cathedral. But I'm certainly not alone in the desire that some day Richard III will be given the resting place due him in Westminster Abbey.

Wheverever it is he winds up now, it's awesome news that Richard III has been found at last. The king is dead. Long live the king!

Sunday, February 03, 2013

February 3rd, 1943: The Four Chaplains

It was cold as it gets, that early February morning on the North Atlantic. The USAT Dorchester was en route to Greenland, carrying nearly nine hundred U.S. soldiers on their way to the European theater. The Dorchester was part of a convoy of Navy and Coast Guard vessels: necessity for the grim threat of the German U-boats.

The Dorchester was struck by torpedo just before 1 in the morning. The ship began to take on water fast, and a frantic chaos ensued in the desperation to escape.

Among those aboard were four United States Army chaplains. George L. Fox was a Methodist minister. Alexander D. Goode was a Jewish rabbi. Carl V. Poling had served as a Baptist and Church of Christ minister before being ordained in the Reformed Church of America. John P. Washington was a Roman Catholic priest.

As the Dorchester descended into the frigid waters, the four chaplains - Fox, Goode, Poling, and Washington - did what they could to evacuate the men in a calm and orderly fashion. Unfortunately there were not enough life jackets immediately available.

The four chaplains each gave up his own life jacket. The four continued to help soldiers and sailors into the lifeboats. Of the 903 personnel aboard the Dorchester, 230 were rescued.

Fox, Goode, Poling, and Washington remained aboard the ship.

The last that anyone saw of the Four Chaplains, they had joined arms with each other. Those in the lifeboats heard the singing of hymns and joyous praise from the four men. In the final moments of the Dorchester those who made it off the doomed ship reported hearing prayers - in English and in Hebrew - from where the Four Chaplains stood.

Moments later, the Dorchester disappeared below the waves. The Four Chaplains went down with her.

The Four Chaplains, depicted in a stained-glass window of Memorial Chapel, United States Army War College, Carlisle Barracks, Pennsylvania.

And that was seventy years ago today: February 3rd, 1943.

In 1988, this day was recognized by Congress as Four Chaplains Day. The bravery, honor, and filial love across the bounds of mere "religion" that Fox, Goode, Poling, and Washington demonstrated on the decks of the Dorchester would be remembered always. As well it should.

You can read more about the Four Chaplains, their lives and their story at The Four Chaplains Memorial Foundation website.

Damnable 100th Anniversary to the federal income tax!

Today officially marks one century of extortion at the point of a gun by the Internal Revenue Service!

It was on this day, February 3rd 1913, that the 16th Amendment was allegedly ratified (there exists substantial evidence that the amendment was not passed per due process by enough states, that and then-Secretary of State Philander Knox's declaration that the amendment was "in effect").

The 16th reads...

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.
We do not need the income tax and never have. This country did fine for more than a century with tariffs. And it would do just as fine now... or better.

It is far past time that the American citizens call the income tax for what it is: a shackle holding us down. Just think about the countless billions of man-hours of lost productivity during the past hundred years, wasted on simply adhering to the increasingly byzantine tax code. Think about how much better this country could have been had We The People had more of our own money to spend as we saw fit. Think about the outrageous gall that the government has, that it has believed (and had upheld within its own courts) for so long that it can take our hard-earned money from us at the point of a gun (figuratively and literally).

What has come to bother me most about the income tax? That it has created a mentality of class warfare in America, when there had been none before. Not really, at least not enough to significantly matter. But don't raise your hopes on politicians seeing that. If anything too many of them love the income tax for that very reason. It keeps the constituents divided, confused, angry at each other... and easier to play on emotion and exploit for votes.

The United States will not see true prosperity until the income tax is not just revoked, but thoroughly eradicated. Shredded. Burned. The ashes dumped in the desert and the ground sown with salt. And a pox upon the houses of those who have imposed it upon us!

Someday, in the not-too-distant future, mayhap my children will read the words I write this afternoon, and ask me "Daddy, what was an 'income tax'?" If that happens, I will be able to die a happier man.

An America where our children will not know an income tax.

If it's not for us to see better days in our time, then it's damned well worth it to fight now so that they can see them tomorrow.

Obama gets DOOMed

I couldn't help myself. You might say the "id" within me was irresistible.

You know that photo the White House released of President Obama "skeet-shooting" at Camp David? Yeah: the one the White House also warned us peons against "manipulating" a'la Photoshop.

It was begging to be done though. Here is Barack Obama fighting off the legions of Hell...

"Gun-free zones" are no deterrence to Imps, Cacodemons and Former Human Sergeants.

And in place of Doom-guy's face I put Dianne Feinstein. Hey, she has to have her gun too, right?

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Very late-night ponderance about the Bible

The Word of God is perhaps a sword, but never should be a weapon.