Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 42

Gonna be WAY easy to post today!  The trailer for Stranger Things season four dropped this morning.  I may or may not have watched this a few times at the office today.

Holy smokes!  Hard to believe it's been three years since season three.  Looks like the wait will be worth it though.  Love the use of Journey's "Separate Ways" in this.  Just... epic, man.

War is coming indeed.  And did you catch Robert Englund's character with the gouged-out eyes?  What the heck?!

Stranger Things season four hits Netflix on May 27th. 

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 41

When I started "blogging for Lent" almost a month and a half ago, it came during a lesser moment for me.  I had taken a serious blow.  Depression was about to swallow me up again.  I couldn't see any possibility of life taking a turn for the better.  God?  I could see Him working in the little things... but I confess to harboring doubt that He had heard my most desperate prayers to Him.

And now?  Now...

I'm less than a week away from completing making one blog post each day during Lent this year.  And in looking back since beginning this lil' endeavor... I do so able to honestly declare that I'm happier than I can remember being, in a very long time.

This is also the closest that I've been able to draw to God, in years.  The past several robbed me of too much of my faith, than for me to be either used by Him or to be a witness of Him.  Life's circumstances and tribulations took their toll.  Made me too jaded.  I like to think that God is repairing the damage.  No, not "like to think": I know that He is.  The Chris Knight who is writing these words tonight is not the same Chris Knight who started Lent with an open heart and an open mind.  God has worked, not just during this period but across the span of my life, to  bring me closer toward His plans for me.  Maybe I had to go through the pain.  It broke me, humbled me, tore me down so that God could make something better of it.

That's what I prefer to believe anyway.

This has been an enormously rewarding exercise.  But it's not just the writing for this blog.  There have been things "behind the scenes": people, experiences, time spent in prayer and devotion.  Things I haven't documented.  Things I may never write about but will forever remain dear and precious to me.

There's at least one of those that I hope I get to write about, and sooner than later.

But, we'll see ;-)

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 40

 It's Tammy's Tenth Birthday Party!!  Here are some of the pics from the event, which was attended by two dogs and their collective three humans.  Including photos of the cake I baked for the occasion.  And a good time was had by all!  Click to embiggen:

The birthday girl and me :-)

Tammy's friend Sasha

Tammy did NOT like the idea of wearing a party hat!

The cake

Tammy couldn't quite blow out the candles but it wasn't for lack of trying!

Sasha enjoying some cake (which was tasty by human standards too)

Tammy eating her birthday cake

Tammy's new toy, courtesy of Sasha's person Melody.  It took her all of ten minutes to destroy the squeaker!

Incidentally, if you want to bake a cake for your dog, here's the recipe I found courtesy of Dorothy Kern at Crazy For Crust.  The main ingredients are peanut butter, sugar-free applesauce, and honey.  And like I said in the captions it was tasty for humans too.  But I'm sure dogs appreciate it even better :-)

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 39

This was such an action packed week that I wound up sleeping until just after four this afternoon!  Lots of stuff at work, some things not work-related and then a VERY awesome day yesterday.  I am presently baking a birthday cake for my dog Tammy, for a party some friends and I are throwing for her tomorrow (Tammy's good buddy Sasha will also be there).  The ingredients of the cake include peanut butter, applesauce, and honey.  This may be the one time I do not lick the batter.

Meanwhile as the cake bakes, I'm rewatching the first season of The Chosen (mash down here for my earlier review).  This time it's being streamed to my high-def television.  AMAZING series.  This is easily the most high quality series that I know of in current production.  I'm really hoping it goes the full seven seasons.  If Stranger Things can finally get to season four (soooooo looking forward to that, when it starts next month) despite COVID halting work for awhile, then The Chosen can reach its goal too.

Time to take the cake out.  We'll see if the dogs approve.

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 38

 HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY to this little goober:

Yes friends and neighbors, it was ten years ago today on Easter Sunday 2012 that my miniature dachshund Tammy was born!  She was one of a litter of five - two boys and three girls - and she was also the runt.  I think it's safe to say that she has ended up with a more interesting life than most dogs get to have.  That she rode in my lap for a year spent driving across America, alone puts a lot of character on those stubby little legs.  She has been my sweetest companion, my bark of conscience, my life saver (at least once), the person I can trust to understand me when nobody else on earth does.

Happiest of birthdays, Tammy.  And here is to many more :-)

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 37

Today's blog post sort of suggested itself, in the wake of events during the past three days.  Maybe what I'm about to say will help others who are finding themselves in the grip of depression, or some other mental health situation.

You see, this week my path has crossed those of two people who I care about: one in my personal life and another who I know from my work as a professional peer support specialist.  Each of them is having an emotional crisis.  Much like the ones I have had at various times over the course of the last twenty-some years.

In each case, I have suggested that inpatient care at a behavioral health facility should be considered.  Checking one's self into a specialized hospital for a few days or a week or so.  Letting trained doctors and staff work with a patient toward reigning in their depressive or schizophrenic episode.  Sometimes - as happened with me several months ago - it's because medication needs balancing out and I had to be monitored for any side effects.  The reasons vary.

One thing that it is NOT, is an "insane asylum".  I have never been inside a real asylum (apart from a haunted one I visited when I was younger).  People are not caged like animals in a behavioral health center.  It is not like The Snake Pit or One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.  It is almost like a vacation away from it all.  The food tends to be quite good.  I would recommend bringing along a book to read (my most recent stay in inpatient found me reading Bitter Blood, a book that has sucked me in at least half a dozen times over the years).

If you or someone you know is in a mental crisis situation, there is NO shame whatsoever in asking for help.  Including checking yourself in to a behavioral health center.  Sometimes a little help is needed to get back on even keel, and that’s okay.  That’s more than fine. I’ve been in such places no less than five or six times and I’ve always come back out on top.

It’s NOT like it used to be on TV and movies.  Those days of mental health medicine in the western world are gone.  Apart from one place waking me up at 5 every morning to ask if I’d had a bowel movement (I blame the nurse), the care was always with dignity and compassion.

It can be nervous-inducing to think about checking yourself into inpatient care.  But I’d rather “nip it in the bud” (to quote Barney Fife) than let something run amok and out of control.  I know the darkness of which I speak, and I would rather no one else have to go through anything as I have had to endure.

 

 

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 36

At the moment I am posting this from a hospital.  Work has obligated me to focus on other matters this evening.  So there won't be a regular blog post, not like I would have wanted it to be anyway.  Just the nature of things.  Maybe there'll be something more to write tomorrow.  Until then, take care and God bless.

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 35

Not too much to report this evening.  It was a fairly busy day on the job.  Peer support certainly does not lack for drama!

I didn't know what to post tonight until I read some sad news.  Bill Fries passed away a few days ago at the age of 94.  He was an ad executive who started acting in his own commercials as the character he created, C.W. McCall. Then he decided to have his fictional character become a singer and he sang about life as a trucker.

So he was an executive pretending to be an actor who was pretending to be a singer who was pretending to be a trucker. That's a lot of mileage out of one character!

In memory of Bill Fries aka C.W. McCall, and in honor of all the one-hit wonders of the Seventies, here is "Convoy":

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 34

I know what I want to write.  And it is wonderful.  The problem is that I'm not quite "all there" tonight.  Blame seasonal allergies and Yours Truly trying some exotic antihistamines yesterday that kept me up all night.  I worked through the day (and drove almost seventy miles in the course of duties) with barely a break.  And I'm still hoping to catch tonight's championship game...

(For this occasion alone, I will root for University of North Carolina.  Gotta cheer for the home team.)

But I'll give it a shot.

I have known all along about surrendering to God.  At least, that's the head knowledge.  The heart of the matter however, that is something else.  It takes almost a supreme effort to lay down our hopes and dreams, giving them to God, and letting Him make of them what He will.

I had to let go of some things that I wanted.  And instead, I had to make do with the things that I already have.  But in making an inventory of that, I found that I was very blessed indeed.  I have my dog Tammy.  We have shelter and food to eat.  I have a car (it's got over 200,000 miles on it but still going fine).

My mind is my own again.  And I think that this exercise of blogging for Lent has been wildly productive.  It has brought me back into the realm of writing on a regular basis.  In the past few weeks I've written my first short story in almost four years.

I have a job that I love, that lets me help people on a daily basis.  As of this week I've been at it for three years.  Once upon a time that would have been impossible.

It's a really neat trick: start making yourself thankful for what you have, no matter how little it may seem.  Don't even think about what you lack.  Just be happy, knowing that you have been cared for by God.  And I have to believe that this applies to any living situation, no matter how dire.

I had to shut up and appreciate what I have, in order for God to get to work.

And lately, He has been doing a work in my life that I could not believe, though it be told me (to paraphrase Habakkuk 1:5).

It only took me two and a half decades to understand.  I suppose better late than never though, aye?

I may have something more to share in the coming days, along this line of thought.

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 33

So, Duke fell to North Carolina last night.  I now have no one to cheer for in this tournament.  Kansas always seemed too overhyped to me, and they beat Villanova yesterday.  Or maybe I'll root for UNC tomorrow night just because they're still from my neck of the woods.

Mike Krzyzewski made a mistake in announcing his retirement well before the season.  He should have waited until after the tournament.  Instead he made this entire season about himself and his ego.  When it should have been about the players and the program in general.  He fell victim to hubris, and I really thought more of him.

Even so, let's never forget that he contributed a lot to the game. Mock him all one wants, but the man deserves respect.

Okay, that's everything substantive I have to say today.  Currently I'm enduring hay fever and all kinds of exotic antihistamines are floating around inside my biochemistry, working hard to keep the mast cells from unloading their allergy-induced contents.  So I'm feeling pretty hopped-up at the moment.

So since it's Sunday, and I haven't posted a Sesame Street sketch in a WAY long time, here is a timeless classic: Bert and Ernie in "Water Dripping"...

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Lenten Bloging 2022: Day 32

For the past six days we've been watching it like a hurricane, churning ever closer and gaining strength along the way.  It has become the perfect storm: nothing like this has happened before and nothing like it will ever happen again.  We are bracing for a collision of gargantuan proportions and no matter who wins it will be a battle for the ages.

Tonight, Duke plays North Carolina in the NCAA Basketball Tournament semifinal.

The two teams have never played each other in an NCAA tourney.  The last time Duke played Carolina was on their home court in Durham.  Coach Mike Krzyzewski's final home game and Carolina beat them by double digits.

Tonight could be Krzyzewski's final game ever.

I hope not.

I want to see him in the final on Monday night, playing against either Kansas or Villanova.

I want to see the Duke team giving their coach one last thrill.

Is there any other way to put it?

GO DUKE!!! :-)

 

 

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 31

So much that could be said.  Today was one of extremes.  In the midst of my joys there was a time of sadness, and I was reminded of just how very different things could have been, had the circumstances of my life been a little altered.

When my dog Tammy and I were traveling west across America, we spent a few months in San Diego.  I figured that we had gone as far west as we could, might as well try to stay.  So we were there from Thanksgiving until March.

I'll never forget all of the homeless people that I saw there.  And very nearly all of them obviously with mental illness of some kind or another.

I suppose I was homeless too, although I still had a car loaded with the essentials, waiting to be unpacked wherever our new home was going to be.  I had a warm hotel room to return to.  I was never close to being on the street, not knowing where the next meal was coming from.

But had things gone different, it could have been me.  Alone.  Driven mad from a lack of counseling and medication.  Far from where I started in an alien city.

"There but for the grace of God..."

I had to say goodbye to my most longtime client today.  He was the first person I started working with as a peer support specialist.  He is in a place where he'll most likely be at for the rest of his life.  He can't take care of himself.  He has no family or friends to help him.  He's getting psychiatric services there, so he doesn't need me or my team anymore.

I had to tell a 69 year old man today that I couldn't see him anymore and he broke down crying and it's been haunting me all day.

Amid this, there is the other end of the spectrum:

I think God may have led me to someone very special.

And I am looking forward to watching how things go between us.

More soon. 

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 30

It's my birthday today.  I had no idea what to write for this exercise in light of that.  I suppose that I'm feeling pretty good, about a lot of things.  God has blessed me more than I possibly deserve to be.  He has brought me a very long way along life's journey and, I'm going to spend the rest of this evening being thankful for that.  Some good friends took me out to dinner earlier tonight, and much laughter and joy was had by all.

When I consider what's happened these past few years especially, I cannot but be grateful.  To God.  To the people He has put into my life.  I hope and pray that I can be a testimony of them in a way that best honors them.

How about we all enjoy some birthday cake? :-)

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 29

Watching The Chosen (see here and here) has reignited my desire to study the gospels with a historian's eye.  I started with the Book of Matthew, not just because it's the first book of the New Testament but also because... well... I like the character in the series.  He makes a really good point in the first episode of season two: he's documenting things, as even a former tax collector would.

So, I've been reading Matthew for the first time in awhile, and so far I've wound up in the seventh chapter.  Here are verses 7 and 8:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

It hit me some time ago just how much that these words are a solemn promise from God.  And it's one that, thankfully, isn't subject to my own personal biases.  The way of the world is that a person MUST find something, according to our predilections.  It has to fit our comprehension, "our way" of doing things.

Isn't that what the Pharisees ended up with?  The seeking after God became a thing to be demanded, so that it fit within the paradigm of the teachers of the law.  And the result of it was simply more law.  Jesus answered that with something radical: that ALL who have a seeking heart, regardless of their understanding, will find Him.

I think the key word in this passage is "seek".  And it's a never-ending, life-long pursuit of God.  For those in Christ, He has been found.  Yet we still seek after Him, as we become more and more Christ-like.  For those who are not in Christ but seeking Him... and maybe in ways that Christians do not realize... it is a promise that they WILL find Him.  That their searching out will not be in vain.  And though they may not fit within the mold of this denomination or that one, their finding Christ is still a thing to be respected, acknowledged, and honored.

Ask.  Seek.  Find.

It works.  Despite all human weakness, the thing works.

And that is my blog post for today.

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 28

Russia's invasion of Ukraine may go down as the textbook example of all the wrong ways to try to take over a neighboring country.  I'm reading the reports (whichever ones may be accurate) and it just blows my mind how unprepared Putin was in sending his forces into Ukraine.

First of all: WHY did Russia commit its forces during the winter?  The vehicles have gotten bogged down in mud and mire, just as any armchair strategist knew would happen.  But this seems to be the classic pattern for Russia.

There does not seem to be a reliable system of replenishing food, ammo and replacement artillery.

Speaking of that artillery, there are reports that the Ukrainians have more tanks now than when the war began, because they keep capturing Russian tanks and painting Ukrainian markings on them.

The Russian trucks and other vehicles in the invasion convoys have shoddy tires, and other problem parts, which can arguably be traced back to corruption among the oligarchs.  These are NOT sturdy pieces of equipment they road to war on.

The fight to take Kiev is now approximately three weeks behind schedule.

Odessa and other cities along the Black Sea coast have not been taken.

There are widespread accounts of Russian soldiers giving up.  Morale has collapsed.

The Russian army has now lost more personnel than it did during ten years of occupying Afghanistan.

 Russia continues to be ostracized by most countries.  Putin has blown thirty years of building up goodwill, for sake of a war he cannot possibly win.

All of these reasons and more, are going to be studied at great length in history books sooner than later.  Russia is NOT the great power that it claims to be or ever was.  And it's going to take decades to undoe the damage of this debacle.  The best thing to happen now is for Putin to step aside... or  be made to step aside.

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 27

Day 27 of writing a blog post each day during Lent!  It's now well past the halfway mark.  It's also significant because 27 is my lucky number.  I appropriated it from "Weird Al" Yankovic but strangely enough 27 has shown up a LOT in my life.

Today, I did nothing.  Couldn't get to work 'cuz the dog and I were both under the weather (I had no idea fried chicken could carry cholera, or that's what it felt like).  So I don't have much to offer but since we've mentioned Weird Al, here's one of his greatest ever music videos: "Amish Paradise"!

Speaking of "Weird Al" Yankovic, next month he kicks off his "The Unfortunate Return of the Ridiculous Self-Indulgent Ill-Advised Vanity Tour".  And best friend Ed has secured us some tickets.  This tour will be like the previous vanity tour: no straight-up song parodies, mostly the lesser-known songs from Al's mammoth repertoire.  So there won't be "Amish Paradise" but there may be "Craigslist" and "Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota".  Want to see Al perform?  Mash down here!

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Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 26

Have been thinking of this song a lot lately.  Maybe because my birthday is coming this week, and everything that comes with being older.  I'm reminded of all that has come before, and all of the people who have gone on.  The lyrics are so filled with meaning.  I don't know the religious beliefs of DeVotchKa but the words really resonate with me:

Hold your grandmother's Bible to your breast

Gonna put it to the test

You wanted to be blessed...

 Maybe it also has something to do with how the song was used in the commercial for Gears of War 2.  And that game came out in a really trying period for me.  I thought the song was beautiful.  It has become an anthem in my mind, when I think back to certain things that have happened in my life.

So here it is, one of my most favorite songs: "How It Ends" by DeVotchKa...

 

 

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