The most dangerous form of cooking known to man is widely considered to be cutting and cleaning the fugu blowfish. It takes a chef ten years to finish the training required to be certified to serve the dish. The final exam is easy: the initiate prepares a fugu and eats it himself. If he can skillfully slice it up without exposing the delicious meat to the deadly tetrodotoxin in the rest of the fish, he gets his license. If he screws up he dies a horrible death by drowning without water as his brain loses the ability to command the lungs to breathe and the master fugu chef announces a new opening for an apprentice.

Preparing fugu is the most deadly culinary art around. Deep-frying turkey is said to be the second most deadly.

What else can be said about a procedure involving flame and hot oil that propels ...

Yankovic apparently “fixed” the polls during Ukraine’s presidential election and public protests threaten to spiral the country into chaos. News agencies are reporting that although a nationwide general strike has been called by opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko, Yankovic is already assembling his governing council: earlier this afternoon Doctor Demento was appointed Minister of Health.

Okay, so that wasn’t very funny. But every time Yanukovich’s name has come up I’m reminded of this guy:

If this story is accurate, it means that Forrest Gump possesses the world’s largest stockpile of weapons of mass destruction. From the AP via Ohio News Network…

Family sues Japanese restaurant for tossing shrimp

MINEOLA, N.Y. A New York family has filed a ten (M) million-dollar lawsuit, claiming a Japanese chef who tossed cooked shrimp at a man caused him to die ten months later.

The family of the Long Island man (Jerry Colaitis) says he ducked away from the flying shrimp, wrenched his neck and died from complications caused by the surgery he had on his neck.

The family is suing the Benihana Restaurant in Munsey Park, Long Island. The restaurant is known for having its hibachi chefs slice, dice and toss food when cooking the meal in front of customers.

In the lawsuit, the man’s wife says her husband was healthy until he went to the restaurant.

So I’m gonna be up all night: have two turkeys to prepare for deep-frying about 36 hours from now, and in-between injections of marinade (once every 4-6 hours usually) I’m putting the trailer for Forcery together in Premiere Pro. Hopefully the trailer will be online come late Thursday or Friday. And I needed some background noise…

There’s only two movies on teevee right now that even remotely interest me. HBO is running Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, which if you can ignore the time years later when Pee-Wee’s wee-wee got over-exposed, it’s still a really good movie. It launched the career of Tim Burton and it has what might be one of THE few legitimately scary scenes in movie history: when Pee-Wee is riding in Large Marge’s truck. Classic film that I’ve seen at least a bajillion times over the years. It’s something that I can trust.

The other movie is ...

Last week I turned off the comment feature. In retrospect I wish that I hadn’t.

For awhile it looked like this blog was attracting more than its fair share of (a) 14-year old hormone machines calling themselves “Lance” who get their jollies by pretending to be Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, (b) chronically unemployable beefcakes who vent their rage at the rest of humanity by hacking out inane statements at their keyboards while under the influence of 190 proof Everclear, and (c) garden-variety losers who use pledge-drive time at PBS to phone bomb threats into local stations as dread harbingers of death and destruction unless the network brings back “Red Dwarf”. A few people even sent such threats to me.

My initial decision to remove commenting stems from the fact that although I have time to post to my blog when the Muse so leads, I have ...

It used to be standard policy in the Soviet Union that if you – whether as a private individual or one of the few small businesses allowed during perestroika – wanted to purchase anything that produced printed material, the party wouldn’t let you play with it right out of the box. Instead you first had to take your typewriter, printer, fax machine or copier down to the local KGB office where you would “register” it with the state: by submitting typewritten or printed samples created with the machine. The samples would be kept on file with the KGB so they would have a unique “fingerprint” of your particular device.

If you were ever suspected of circulating any “subversive literature” around, the offending leaflet could be compared to the samples of your machine. If they matched… well, it usually meant you’d won an express ticket straight to beautiful Dzerzhinsky Square in ...

Nope, Electronic Arts didn’t roll out The Sims Lone Gunman Expansion Pack while we weren’t looking. It ain’t a joke either: this is an actual screenshot that I took from JFK Reloaded a short while ago.

Available for download starting today – the 41st anniversary of the JFK assassination – the computer game from British software outfit Traffic puts you in the role of Lee Harvey Oswald at the infamous sixth-floor window of the Texas Schoolbook Depository. The left mouse button toggles the sniper scope, while hitting the right one rains down virtual bullets from your Mannlicher-Carcano. Score points by sticking to the “findings” of the Warren Commission, but they’re deducted if you accidentally put a round through First Lady Jackie. Apart from the absence of the cheering crowds (sorry: no “Umbrella Man” or “Babushka Lady” here) you’re opening fire on a VERY realistic 3D-rendered simulacrum of Dealey Plaza that ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to wunderkind writer and teenage theological revolutionary (and great guy to have as a friend) Kyle Williams, who hits SWEET SIXTEEN today. This day holds special meaning for Kyle: he can now drive a car, he can now date his female admirers (of which one has told me that “Kyle looks HOT!”) and never again can someone dismiss his thoughts and claim that “he’s too young a pundit” out of desperation!...

Would have remembered to post about this yesterday, ‘cept at the time I’d been going on 7 hours sleep total across the past four days (most of that time spent working on this film). Anyhoo…

It was November 20 in 2001 that six months of planning, starting from the moment this bizarre plot was first hatched, culminated in a single keystroke. My friend Joshua Griffin did the honors: as Editor of TheForce.net he was the one who had first brought me aboard the site. And more than just a co-worker, he became an awesome friend and brother in the Lord… and a great counselor in all things about love between a guy and his girl. I couldn’t bring myself to do this so I asked if he would. How much did I trust Josh? Enough to put the entire rest of my life into his hands… literally!

“It’s away!” ...

CNN is reporting on several angry Greeks threatening to sue Warner Brothers over the upcoming film Alexander. The contention is whether or not Alexander the Great was bisexual.

If this movie is based on the script I read parts of years ago, it would not only be a great flick but the issue might be a legit one for polite discussion. But it so happens that the addition of a single factor should poison the well of historical debate as much as it leads me to weigh against plunking my money down at the box office to see it at all…

Alexander is directed by Oliver Stone.

After what he did with JFK and Nixon, I can only surmise that Alexander of Macedonia was a safe target ‘cuz so far as major world leaders go, there are no more for Stone to conquer… errr, I mean “to obfuscate”....