bipolar disorder

Chris Knight's avatar

There are quite a few people who’ve told me that they appreciate when I share about my experiences with bipolar disorder.  Doing so has helped them better understand what it is to have a condition like this.  I suppose it helps me too.  Writing about it gives me that much more strength over something that really should have killed me years ago already.  So here is another report from the wacky world of manic depression!

This morning I saw my counselor for the first time in several months.  Getting as much substitute teaching in as I can has prevented me from adequately addressing my overall mental health as much as I really should have been doing.  Controlling my bipolar disorder involves many things.  Medication and counseling are two of those, and they work hand in hand.  The meds restore a measure of control and the counseling helps me develop tools ...

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This week toy maker Mattel has introduced the world to “Autistic Barbie”.  The latest in a line of the classic doll’s attempts to aim for more inclusion and representation which have already produced Barbie with Type 1 diabetes and Barbie with Down syndrome.

According to the link above going to the Fox News story about it, Autistic Barbie “includes articulated elbows and wrists to allow for movements such as hand flapping and other gestures used for sensory regulation or expression.”  Barbie’s eyes are “positioned with a slightly averted gaze, reflecting how some people on the autism spectrum may avoid eye contact.”  Autistic Barbie includes a fidget spinner (that really spins), noise cancelling headphones, and a pink tablet displaying symbol-based apps to help with communication.

Okay, I have no problem with Barbie depicting autism.  It’s a condition that millions of people, including not a few children, have to live with. ...

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So, TWO people have asked me the same question in private message on Facebook.  Having seen my new photo, they’re wondering if I’ve colored my hair.

Okay, sure, why not?  It might be a little fun to answer this…

NO!  I am not currently coloring my hair.  What you see is all natural brown, honest.

HOWEVER, for awhile I did color my hair.

I was afraid that I was going gray prematurely.  So I turned to Just For Men…  with tragicomic results.  One more thing that I did while deep in the throes of mania.

The complete story – which really is pretty hilarious – is in chapter 56 of my book Keeping the Tryst.  Along with what I did when I thought my hair was falling out.  Not one of my prouder moments, but the tale is there if anyone wants to be a little entertained 😮...

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Was looking over my blog this afternoon, and I came to something I hadn’t given much thought to in awhile: the Being Bipolar series. That’s the project I began in the fall of 2010 (wow, FIFTEEN years ago!) chronicling what it is to have bipolar disorder.  Or as many, including increasingly myself, refer to it as manic depression.

It’s been a year and a half since the most recent Being Bipolar article.  There’s never been any intended regular schedule for them.  I’ve composed them as they come to me.  As with so much else that I produce I believe more in quality than quantity.  And though I’ve lived with bipolar disorder for half of my life now, it’s still something that I find myself taking time to ruminate upon.  But I like to think that the series has been a successful one, and I look forward to writing ...

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 It was twenty-five years ago tonight that for the very first time I was sent to a psychiatric hospital.

The bipolar disorder had started during the preceding winter, but I didn’t know that’s what it was (it would be another four years before that diagnosis was handed to me).  I had been manic most of the winter and then the depression – what I came to call ” the dark fountain” – decided that it was time for it to show itself.  The death of my grandmother toward the end of March intensified the blackness.  All I came to think about was death and dying.  Everywhere I looked I saw dead people waiting to happen.  It was a dark fountain that was smothering me, driving me to the brink.

It got bad enough that one night some friends took me to the hospital in Burlington. ...

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Being Bipolar is a series that began in the winter of 2011.  Every so often I write about what it is to live with the mental illness known as bipolar disorder, or manic depression as it’s also often called.  I do this in the hope that others will gain insight and understanding about diseases of the mind, and also I do this in an attempt to inspire others who live with such conditions.  These diagnoses don’t have to be the end of the chance for a good life.  I want to believe that in however small a way, I might be helping people realize that.  In this series I attempt to write about the subject with honesty and with candor and, on occasion, with humor.  I am not a psychiatrist.  However I do come from a background of being a state-certified peer support specialist in the South Carolina Department of ...

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Being Bipolar is a series that began in the winter of 2011.  Every now and then I post a new article, as an ongoing attempt to chronicle what it is to have a mental illness.  In my case it is bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression.  Perhaps in doing so others might gain greater insight and understanding of what it means for millions of people who likewise must deal with severe mental and emotional disorders.  As always during this series I strive to be as honest and forthright as one possibly can possibly be.  I am not a psychiatrist.  However I do come from a background of being a state-certified peer support specialist for four years.  And it is especially in that capacity as having been a mental health professional that I endeavor to document mental illness.  If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, especially if you are ...

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Being Bipolar is a series that began nearly fourteen years ago in the winter of 2011.  It is an occasional look at what it is like to live with bipolar disorder, or manic depression as many still call it.  This blogger posts a new article whenever he feels the time is ideal to write about an aspect of bipolar disorder, so that others might have deeper understanding of this disease and appreciate what it is to have to exist with it on a routine basis.  In doing this I do my best to be as honest and forthcoming as is possible.  I am not a medical professional.  However I spent several years as a peer support specialist – a person with mental illness who undergoes extensive training so as to help others with like and similar conditions – for a major state department of mental health.  I believe that this ...

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Obviously the notion entered my mind that maybe this could be an installment of the Being Bipolar series (which there may be much more material for coming soon).  But Being Bipolar is more about the disease itself, and is intended to be a resource for those looking for insight and information from someone who lives with that condition.

What I’m sharing now, on the other hand, has less to do with that aspect of my life than it does with others.  Although mental illness is certainly the precipitant.

It was twenty-four years ago this month that the symptoms of manic depression, or bipolar disorder, first began to manifest themselves in me.  At first it was wildly intoxicating, all the boundless energy and creativity that came seemingly out of nowhere.  I was still looking for a job post-college and failing in that but other opportunities were coming to the fore (like ...

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Being Bipolar is a series that began in the winter of 2011.  It is an occasional look at what it is to live with bipolar disorder… which some still refer to as manic depression.  A new chapter is posted whenever this blogger feels that the time is ripe for a further examination.  In doing this I try to be as honest and forthcoming as possible, within reason.  I am not a medical professional. I am however a former peer support specialist in the field of mental health, and though I have recently left that post I am still dedicating myself toward advocating for others who experience mental illness.  If you are experiencing a severe crisis and are having thoughts about self harm or harm toward others, please do not hesitate to call 911 or reach out to your most available health care professional.  You may also find help and ...

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