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Chris Knight's avatar

Elvis Alonzo Barrett of Boynton Beach, Florida has learned the hard way: real life is not like Grand Theft Auto IV.

This past week Barrett fled police who were already trying to ticket him for one traffic violation. He led authorities on a high-speed chase that had him running through red lights, crashing into another car and then a fence. When he was finally caught, he was also found in possession of a quantity of crack cocaine.

When the final tally came in, Barrett had racked up more than FIFTY traffic citations in a single day, including one for not wearing a seat belt. He was also driving with a suspended license.

I wonder if the cops missed any. I mean, after thirty or forty citations it’s hard to keep up…...

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Chris Knight's avatar

This has been one of the most hyperactive days for crazy news. First it was the “Klingon convenience store robberies”, then the zombie street signs. Now this…

At some kind of pretentious pow-wow called TED, Bill Gates spoke to the audience about the efforts his foundation is undertaking to wipe out malaria. But being not content to deliver a simple speech, Gates engaged in some rather disturbing performance art… and unleashed a swarm of mosquitoes on the assembly of technocrats. “Not only poor people should experience this!”, Gates declared, as he released his airborne vector of blood-sucking insects at the crowd.

Doesn’t this come awfully close to being an act of biological terrorism? I mean, it’s not too far a stretch from this stupid stunt by Gates, to purposefully introducing mosquitoes laden with weapon-grade pathogens into a major metropolitan area.

And then again, some people will say ...

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What the hell is it with employees bathing in restaurant sinks lately? A few months ago it was “Mr. Unstable” who boneheadedly decided to post a video of himself cleansing in the sink at Burger King in Xenia, Ohio: a stunt that got not only himself but a bunch of others fired.

Now it’s the KFC in Anderson, California, where three female employees also took a bath in the sink normally used to clean utensils.

Two of the girls have been fired, and the other has already left on her own. They took several photos of themselves wearing swimsuits while carousing in the steaming-hot water (click here for more ‘cuz many of y’all will no doubt be interested anyway) and then posted them on Myspace in a gallery called “KFC Moments”.

I don’t know which is the more dumb: that they did this to begin with, or ...

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Mr. Unstable’s parents are no doubt proud of him…

The Burger King in Xenia, Ohio is minus a bunch of employees and one manager tonight because this guy decided to cleanse himself with a bubble bath in the restaurant’s dish sink! The location’s operators have thrown out all the utensils that came in contact with “Mr. Unstable”, and have said that the sink has been sanitized twice. I’ve heard at least one person suggest that perhaps the entire Burger King be razed and burned and the ground sown with salt.

If you must (and you probably must) here’s the complete video showing the now-unemployed Mr. Unstable taking his bath in the sink…

...

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It was Thanksgiving eve
Back in 1971
He had on a pair of sunglasses
There wasn’t any sun
He used the name Dan Cooper
When he paid for the flight
That was going to Seattle
On that cold and nasty night

— “The Ballad of D.B. Cooper”
by Chuck Brodsky

More than 36 years after Dan Cooper bailed out of the back of a 727 into stormy night and American folklore, a parachute has been found in Washington state that the FBI is speculating could have been used by the legendary skyjacker.

It was on the night before Thanksgiving in 1971 that a man calling himself “Dan Cooper” (more often erroneously called “D.B. Cooper”) boarded a Northwest Orient flight in Portland, Oregon bound for Seattle. Shortly after takeoff Cooper told a stewardess that he had a bomb, and gave instructions to have $200,000 in unmarked bills and four parachutes ready ...

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Oddly enough this is the second story in the past few days involving Boy Scouts and hazardous materials (here’s a link to the first). Curious, that…

Anyway, last week David Hahn was sentenced to 90 days in jail for stealing smoke detectors from an apartment complex. After being caught taking one, police found 15 other smoke detectors in his apartment.

Years ago David Hahn achieved quite a bit of notoriety as “the Radioactive Boy Scout”. It was as a 15-year old kid in Michigan working on achieving his Eagle Scout that Hahn, having already earned the Atomic Energy merit badge, set out to build a full-blown nuclear breeder reactor (a reactor that not only generates energy but creates new fuel) in his parents’ shed. The entire weird story was later turned into a book. When Hahn was 17 the authorities finally caught wind of what he ...

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This morning I was going back though the past few months of blog posts looking for something I’d written pertaining to education. In the course of searching I found the video of WGSR’s Star Talk on June 14th where Mark Childrey interviewed me about my plans to address the July 9th meeting of the Rockingham County Board of Education while dressed as a Jedi Knight. It was all to protest the “Standard Mode of Dress” (legalese for “school uniforms”) at Reidsville Middle and Reidsville High schools that the board had approved.

As was reported here a few weeks later, the board wound up rescinding the earlier vote to implement the policy after POTSMOD (People Opposed To Standard Mode Of Dress) turned the meeting into a media spectacle with picketing by students, black armbands and not just a Jedi but an “escaped convict” too 🙂

Well, I watched the video ...

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