santa claus

Chris Knight's avatar

Whoever came up with this ad deserves an award.  This spot is brilliant, tragicomic, heart-tugging, funny, and beautiful.  Publix has a long history of having great commercials and this is one of their best.

Growing up I thought that people whose birthdays fell on Christmas must be so lucky, because it meant that they got more toys.  Watching poor Isabelle suffer from being a Christmas baby makes me greatly regret having that notion.  May all who were born on Christmas have a birthday just as wonderful as this young lady’s 🙂 ...

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Chris Knight's avatar

Work with me here.  This is something that popped into being inside my gray matter a few weeks ago.  Personally, I can’t find any argument about how this is not a viable theory.  Although I confess that I did ummm… “borrow” some things from current pop culture.   But as Santa Claus is a character who has borrowed much else across the centuries I think it’s appropriate.

So here it is: my hypothesis for why there are so many Santa Clauses, how Santa gets ALL that work done in a single night, how Santa knows everything about whether you’ve been bad or good.  And that ultimate question: does Santa Claus exist at all?

All right, here we go…

Santa Claus is a multi-universal entity. That’s why we see so many of them at Christmas time. Most of the Santas you’re seeing are from other universes who are in ours for awhile.
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Chris Knight's avatar

Two thoughts about the reindeer who went down in hist-o-REEEEEE…

1. If Rudolph’s nose is THAT bright, and also such high-energy because of its intense red hue, assuming it’s radiating out the lumens of at least the running lights of a commercial airliner and that it’s shining right at his face…

…Rudolph should be totally blind by now!! Even one trip around the world would have been more than enough to burn out his retinas.

I hope Santa sleeps easy with this on his conscience.

2. Johnny Marks wrote “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in 1949 as part of a publicity campaign for the Montgomery Ward’s department store chain.

Just think: if the company had insisted upon royalties every time that song was played or performed or sung in public by school choirs and Brownie troops, Montgomery Ward’s would still be in business!...

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Chris Knight's avatar

In August of 2001, I was p***ed-off enough about the “red light cameras” in Greensboro that I decided to do something about it. So I did some designin’ in Photoshop, took it to a Kinko’s and had it printed up huge and laminated, and for five hours in the hot sun stood next to one robosentinel that had particularly bothered me while holding a sign that read “SMILE: YOU’RE ON KOMRADE KAMERA!” Hee-hee-hee… got lots of supporters who honked in agreement as they drove past on Battleground Avenue.

So I think this next item is bigtime groovy…

Four people dressed as Santa Claus went around Tempe, Arizona a few days ago and put gift-wrapped boxes over three speed and red light cameras around the city. And for good measure they posted the video of their rebellion on YouTube…

It cannot be said enough: America is not her government. America is ...

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Chris Knight's avatar

A guy near Seattle has crucified Santa Claus and put him on display in his front yard. The whole thing is meant to protest the over-commercializing of Christmas.

Obviously, this has upset quite a few folks around there.

This whole “crucified Santa” thing has been around for at least a dozen years now. Supposedly, the manager of a department store in Tokyo put Santa on a cross for a store display around 1994, because he was told to do something for Christmas and he didn’t know what the holiday was about or what people usually did for it. And then last year some dude in Canada did the “Santa nailed to a cross” shtick too.

I hate to say this, but I kinda see where these guys are coming from. I didn’t start my Christmas shopping until this past week. In years past, I used to enjoy going out ...

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