duke nukem

Chris Knight's avatar

Yes, it really is! I even went out late yesterday evening along with good friend/fellow blogger and Eagle Scout Steven Glaspie to be at the local GameStop for the midnight release, just to behold it with our own eyes.

But that wound up not being good enough. I had to have some tactile sensation of it as well, so I bought a copy of the standard edition.

And though I hadn’t planned on it, I wound up shooting and then editing together a lil’ film to document the event for posterity. This is the first time that I’ve ever put together a movie with an iOS device. May this be the first of many more to come 🙂

Anyhoo, here is… Vaporware Nevermore!

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Chris Knight's avatar

This has to be a SERIOUS sign that the Apocalypse truly is upon us!

When game studio 3D Realms started work on Duke Nukem Forever in 1996, Bill Clinton was winding down his first term as U.S. President. “Broadband Internet” meant a 56K modem. The first Star Wars prequel was only in pre-production. You could board a commercial airliner without once taking off your shoes. The Simpsons was still consistently funny. Gasoline cost around a dollar a gallon. “Burning a CD” was uncommon vernacular. Pluto was still a planet.

Fifteen years, millions of dollars wasted, multiple changes in graphics engines and a studio takeover later, the game that has come to be called “Duke Nukem Never”, “Duke Nukem Whenever”, “Duke Nukem If-Ever”, “Duke Nukem Not-Ever” and so many other mocking epithets is finally a finished product and has been released to manufacturing!

No, I’m not kidding. Even as you ...

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Chris Knight's avatar

On April 28th, 1997, video game studio 3D Realms announced that Duke Nukem Forever, the follow-up to its 1996 hit Duke Nukem 3-D, was in development.

Fourteen years, hundreds of thousands of wasted man-hours, numerous rendering engines long gone obsolete, two or more full generations of console technology and a bankruptcy later, Gearbox Software – which picked up the pieces last year to try to make some sense of this mess – will be releasing Duke Nukem Forever on May 6th.

Yes, as in: this year. 2011.

Look! Release trailer!

Here’s the official synopsis:

Put on your shades and prepare to step into the boots of Duke Nukem,whose legend has reached epic proportions in the years since his last adventure. The alien hordes are invading and only Duke can save the world. Pig cops, alien shrink rays and enormous alien bosses can’t stop our hero from accomplishing his

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Clive Thompson at Wired has written an exhaustively-researched article that should give every software developer and game publisher pause: the twelve-year development cycle that plagued Duke Nukem Forever before the plug was finally pulled on the project this past spring. The tale Thompson relates is one rife with technical obsession, corporate money and motion-captured strippers (for realz, folks). If you want the lowdown on the biggest gaming fiasco since Ion Storm and perhaps of all time, here it is!...

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Chris Knight's avatar

Duke Nukem Forever is now officially deader than Elvis. 3D Realms has shut down for good and Take-Two – which had the publishing rights to the game – has announced it will not be funding any more development of the project.

So after more than twelve years of work on this one video game, it now looks as though there will be absolutely nothing to show for the effort or the money. And what’s more, Duke Nukem Forever is now poised to become an even more legendary fiasco than Daikatana ever was (and that’s sayin’ something). Expect an onslaught of vaporware jokes about this in the coming days....

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Chris Knight's avatar

While we’re waiting for Duke Nukem Forever to finally come out (it’s been in development since early 1997), a trilogy of Duke Nukem games is coming to Nintendo DS and PSP this fall. And to promote ’em Apogee and Deep Silver are holding a nationwide contest to find someone to pose as a real-life Duke Nukem.

According to the story at USA Today: “The contest will travel to New York, Los Angeles and Dallas seeking out potential Duke Nukems. As the press release describes, ‘aspiring Dukes will be judged on how well they personify the character’s take-no-prisoners attitude.’ The winner will be revealed during the Electronic Entertainment Expo in June.”

Blast here for the official website of this gimmick.

And if you’ve never had the politically incorrect pleasure of playing a Duke Nukem game (or you have already and can’t get enough of Duke’s crude humor) GOG.com has Duke ...

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