jackass

Hey Jenna St. Hilaire, hate to tell you this girl but your hometown is in the news again for all the wrong reasons…

A homeless man in Bellingham, Washington nearly became a nominee for the Darwin Award when the guillotine he was building in a wooded camp “unexpectedly” cut off his arm. At right you can see the photo that police released of the decapitation machine.

Feel free to post whatever jokes cross your mind about giving this guy a hand etc. But seriously: why was a homeless man building a guillotine at a campsite? And just look at that thing: it’s easily one of the more sophisticated guillotines that I’ve seen built by a layman. Something like that takes some skills to pull off. As much as I have to wonder about his motive, I have to also wonder why he wasn’t putting that kind of ability ...

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Awright, I’ve been putting this off for too long now. I knew that this day would come. Not gonna run and hide anymore. Here, live or die, I will make my stand.

This afternoon I began the process of growing my can of Bhut jolokia.

And as I said when I first wrote about coming into possession of this stuff back in February, “This is either one of the bravest things that I will have ever attempted… or it is the stoopidest of my entire life…”

The Bhut jolokia: regarded by the scientific community as THE world’s hottest naturally-occurring pepper. Native to north-eastern India, in the local tongue “Bhut jolokia” translates into “ghost pepper”. Because as the natives like to joke, one bite of this could send you to an early grave.

Spicy heat is measured in Scoville units. Regular Tabasco sauce has a “hotness” of 2,500 Scoville ...

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This is either one of the bravest things that I will have ever attempted… or it is the stoopidest of my entire life (which could be snuffed out by this stuff).

Back in December I posted about my filmmaking partner “Weird” Ed Woody passing along the link where you can purchase Bhut jolokia for your very own! Why did Ed tell me about ThinkGeek’s Grow Your Own World’s Hottest DIY Pepper kit? Because he’s all too aware of my hideous interest in super-spicy hot food. Here’s the link if you want to buy some too: whether to consume or just to display on your desk as a potent symbol of power.

Well, as you can see in the photo on the left, I am now in possession of a can of Bhut jolokia seeds, along with the soil (presumably from north-eastern India where the pepper originates) to grow it ...

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Awright, let’s be clear about something: the navigator was not listening to his iPod while at his station. But he was in his cabin listening to his iPod when he was supposed to have been at his station. Which in some ways is indicative of plenty more that was wrong on this sub.

“iPranged a submarine” screams the The Sun in the United Kingdom (gotta love those wacky British headlines). It’s now come to light that the collision between the United States Navy’s nuclear submarine USS Hartford and the transport ship USS New Orleans in the Persian Gulf a year ago was caused by the Hartford’s navigational officer off on his own “revising for an exam” while listening to tunes from his iPod when he should have been uhhh… navigating.

But wait, that’s not all! Crewmen had also set up loudspeakers so that they could listen to music (presumably ...

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Cave Funeral Services in Allendale, South Carolina is out of business after that state’s funeral board revoked its license following the discovery that the mortuary had cut off a tall man’s legs in order to fit in inside a casket…

The body of James Hines was exhumed earlier this year because of rumors that circulated after he died in 2004. His widow said investigators told her his legs had been cut off between the ankle and calf to fit the coffin.

If you’re a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, you probably are already shaking your head in disbelief since this is something straight out of his short story “In The Vault”....

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According to a new poll, 1 in 4 Americans are apparently text messaging while driving.

I don’t agree with laws prohibiting talking into a cellphone while driving, although I do believe that’s something that individual drivers should make a determination about on their own. But texting is completely different. It demands an attention that talking doesn’t require.

Plainly put folks: it should be just common sense not to text while operating a vehicle. It’s already caused one trolley accident in Boston, and a school bus driver is now without a job after being photographed texting while driving with a full bus of kids.

So far as I’m concerned, trying to text while driving is just as rife with risk as is driving while intoxicated. If one has to text while out and about in a vehicle, there’s always the side of the road or a parking lot ...

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From the Seattle, Washington side of the galaxy: a 46-year old man was stopped for speeding on I-90 by State Patrol troopers. He was doing an astonishing 110 miles per hour and once he had finally been pulled over, officers found his car loaded with Star Wars memorabilia.

The man’s reason for going so fast? He was trying to rush home to bid for another Star Wars item on eBay.

Click on the link above for some hilarious reader comments!...

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“This is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency.” That was the rationale proffered by one Latreasa L. Goodman, 27, of Fort Pierce, Florida. Last week Goodman went into a McDonald’s restaurant and ordered a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets. She paid the money but was then told that the location was out of McNuggets. The staff offered her a McDouble but she didn’t want that.

So Goodman called 911 and reported the “emergency”. And not once, but three times. She’s now due in court on a charge of misusing the 911 service.

If Goodman caused this much trouble over McNuggets, then thank Heaven she didn’t go nuts after being told the McRib had gone away again....

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