mental illness

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And once more I understand why some people are driven to commit suicide because of bipolar disorder. Because, death does seem a much preferable thing to what can only be called “anti-life”.

I have been trying to compose the next installment of Being Bipolar. My mind has arrested me from doing that and from having interest in most of the other things that I enjoy in my life. My thoughts are on a seemingly non-stop cycle of nothingness, if that makes any sense.

So what am I doing to alleviate it? I’ve taken my medication and I’ve spent some time just trying to let my thoughts run their course (because eventually it does peter out enough to let me be productive again). Other than that, there’s not much else that can be done.

I’m leaving Wednesday afternoon, for a short trip. Gonna be at that same film festival in ...

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Perhaps that’s been prompted by (A) Charlie Sheen’s out-of-control antics during the past 72 hours and (B) the “Being Bipolar” series that I recently started on this blog about my own experiences and struggles with bipolar.

And now it’s being asked aloud by a lot of bigger news outlets.

I’m not too “hip” about things on the celebrity scene. In fact, the last thing that I would ever want to be called is a “celebrity”. I am a character. My life is filled with lots of other characters (though more than a few are what pop culture would call “celebrities”). Charlie Sheen’s behavior exemplifies why I don’t want to be known as a celebrity.

But the more I’ve looked into his peculiar case, the more I am finding myself also wondering – not a professional psychiatrist, mind ya: I’m just a guy who has the condition himself – ...

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READER ADVISORY: This, the fifth installment of an ongoing series exploring what I have experienced and learned from living with bipolar disorder, contains an account of an extremely graphic nature. My writing about it here marks the first time that I have revealed in public an incident, the nature of which I pray would never happen to anyone. This advisory is not to “warn away” anyone from reading it at all. In fact, it is my desire that you would read it. I only ask for two things: that you, Dear Reader, will bear in mind that I am writing about this for the first time because it marks a very terrible period in my life that, I must give credit to God for bringing me through. And that the account itself is not the reason at all for this chapter of Being Bipolar. The real heartmeat of this installment
...

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

— Maya Angelou

Edit 02/14/2011 2:18 pm EST: A friend let me borrow a book not long ago. It’s called When God Winks At You. It’s filled with stories of many people – including a number of celebrities – who experienced extraordinary coincidences and twists of fate that made them realize something: that God is watching over us. It’s a very good book, and it written in a style that reads pretty quickly.

Ever since reading it, I have been praying that God might wink at me, too. And give me that personal assurance that “Chris, I know you are going through a very dark and difficult time. But I love you! I won’t quit on you or abandon you. You are My child and ...

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This is the fourth installment of an ongoing series exploring what it means to live with bipolar disorder. Reading the previous essays is recommended, but not absolutely required for understanding this one, which deals with depression associated with bipolar and how it differs from normal depression. But if you choose to take the time to read the other posts in this series, I for one would be grateful 🙂

It took a very long time for me to go outside after Granny died.

It was the last Saturday in March of 2000. Our Boy Scout troop was camping for the weekend in some woods east of Reidsville. The winter that year had been harsh. Worse than anything we’ve had in recent seasons. After too many weeks snowed-in we were all ready for some fresh air and wide open space.

It was green. Very green. And so warm outside. All full ...

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I was wondering over the weekend if this might happen. And unfortunately, it has now. I am writing and posting this video during a bipolar depressive episode.

I need to reiterate something: managing bipolar disorder doesn’t mean that I’m going to be totally free of its effects. There will be times when I go through episodes of severe bipolar. But I am thankful that it doesn’t have to ruin my life as it has before.

I said last week in the first Being Bipolar video supplement that I intended to document a bipolar episode if and when it happened. This is the first bipolar depressive episode that I have been able to record. I don’t think there’s anything in this clip that most people would at all consider “disturbing” but, I wanted to give a heads-up about all the same…

And Part 4 of Being Bipolar should be up later ...

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