Shrek the Third made me so drowsy with boredom that I had to take a long nap when I got home. And it still dulls my mind to think about it.

This movie is so lousy that I’m not even going to waste the time to give it a full review, like I usually do whenever writing about a movie here. I don’t want to spend another moment of my life meditating upon it. But, I feel like there’s a moral obligation to warn you, Constant Reader, about it… so for sake of that alone I’m going to give you my bare minimum thoughts about it.

The first third of the movie isn’t pretty bad. There were some rather funny bits to it, even. But it’s not long into Shrek’s search for Arthur that this movie becomes tedious and lame and completely inert of the wit that made Shrek and ...