62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson has rigged his La-Z-Boy recliner with a lawnmower motor, stereo and cup holders for his beer. Last year following drinking “eight or nine beers” Anderson crashed his… thing… into a parked car after leaving a bar in Duluth, Minnesota.
Anderson has now plead guilty to a DWI charge. The judge has sentenced him to two years of probation.
(That is definitely a new one for the “Hold muh beer and watch this…” file!)...
See if you can wrap your noggin around this one: the Large Hadron Collider – that super-powered high-energy thingamabob at CERN in Switzerland that previously had been predicted would destroy the world – is now theorized to be the first observed occurrence of the “grandfather paradox” of time travel!
According to two physicists, the LHC’s mission to produce the hypothesized and long-sought Higgs boson is damned to failure by its own future. The reason? Because the Higgs boson “might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather”. And according to Holger Bech Nielsen of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, this “predestination” from the Higgs particle goes far beyond screwing ...
Awright, before anyone get’s too freaked-out: that is not the real Edgar Allan Poe in a pine box! But it is an incredibly life (or death)-like simulation created by Baltimore-based effects wiz Eric Supensky, commissioned by Jeff Jerome (looking on “Edgar”‘s body) of the Poe House and Museum.
A hundred and sixty years after Poe’s ignoble death and hasty funeral, the father of modern horror is about to get the funeral that he’s always deserved. The Poe House has held public viewings of “Poe” this week, which will culminate in a true period-style funeral this coming Sunday…
...Poe’s cousin, Neilson Poe, never announced his death publicly. Fewer than 10 people attended the hasty funeral for one of the 19th century’s greatest writers. And the injustices piled on. Poe’s tombstone was destroyed before it could be installed, when a train derailed and crashed into a stonecutter’s yard. Rufus Griswold, a Poe
No wonder it’s often called “Crackbook”: some folks are addicted to it! Consider one Jonathan G. Parker, age 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pennsylvania. Police in the town responded to a call from a home on August 28th in which the resident reported a breaking and entering, and the theft of two diamond rings valued at more than $3,500.
The cops didn’t have far to look for a suspect, however: Parker used the victim’s computer to log into his Facebook account and forgot to log out.
Jonathan Parker was arrested, and is currently in jail on $10,000 bond. He’s facing one to ten years in the slammer if convicted.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. But also very funny 🙂...
Elementary students in Kent, Great Britain have elected to send a lamb they reared as a school project off to be slaughtered and rendered into succulent ribs and chops.
The decision to dispatch the lamb, which the students had named Marcus, has met with outcry from “grown-ups”…
...Marcus the six-month-old lamb has now been culled, the head teacher of the primary school in Kent confirmed on Monday, after the school’s council — a 14-member group of children aged 6 to 11 — voted 13-1 to have him killed.
The decision has provoked fury among animal-loving celebrities, animal and human rights campaigners and the parents of some of the children, and led to threats against Lydd primary school and its teachers, according to a member of staff.
Around 250 children at the school take part in a program designed to
Vladislav Tkachiev, a leading French chess grandmaster, was scheduled to play Praveen Kumar in Kolkata, India. But unfortunately Tkachiev turned up at the match, as they say in French, “pees droonk”.
He was so intoxicated that he could barely sit in his chair and soon fell asleep after only 11 moves.
His inebriated state cost Tkachiev the match after tournament officials decided he was in no condition to play and after Tkachiev had run afoul of the hour and thirty minutes time limit.
(Maybe Tkachiev should consider taking up chess boxing instead? 🙂...
What a year for weird crime. Back in February it was a robber armed with a Klingon sword holding up 7-Elevens in Denver. But the story out of Zachary, Louisiana is even more bizarre…
Lisa Newsome (shown in the surveillance camera still on the right) has been arrested for theft. The crime she has confessed to police: stealing a 12-pack case of Miller Lite beer from Crossroads Grocery and attempting to leave the store with it… by carrying the beer between her legs and hidden under her oversized house coat!
If you look carefully at the photo you can clearly see the crate of Miller Lite protruding from… well, under her attire.
Police in Zachary are reporting that Newsome “attempted to show us how she did it, but we told her not to pull her pants down.”
I wonder how far she got walking away with that thing?...
As you can guess however, he didn’t get away with it. Nicholas Woodhams of Kalamazoo, Michigan has pleaded guilty to mail fraud and money laundering and has been sentenced to a year in prison and made to pay $650,000 restitution for his scheme that tricked Apple into sending him nearly ten thousand brand new iPods…
Prosecutors say he took advantage of a warranty program by guessing the serial numbers of iPods still under warranty and claiming they were broken.
The company sent him 9,000 new ones over a year and a half.
Investigators say he turned around and sold those on the Internet.
Actually rather clever. I have to admire him for coming up with such a plan, even though it was obviously the wrong direction to direct such creativity toward....
So the very next day when I punched in
With my big lunchbox and with help from my friends
I left that day with a lunch box full of gears
Now, I never considered myself a thief
GM wouldn’t miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years.— “One Piece At A Time”
Johnny Cash
(written by Wayne Kemp)
Zhang, a worker in a motorcycle factory in China, was no doubt thinking of Johnny Cash’s 1976 hit single when he embarked upon his scheme to steal a motorcycle by smuggling one part at a time home with him. “I don’t have that much money, so I came up with the idea of taking the parts home and assembling them on my own,” he said.
It took him five years but he was able to pull it off. And then he was pulled over ...
Elsie Poncher says she needs money. But instead of pawning her wares or otherwise liquidating what most people consider to be normal assets, Mrs. Poncher has opted to sell off what must be one of the most unusual pieces of real estate in the world: she’s selling the tomb of her husband at Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles. The crypt is currently occupied by the remains of Richard Poncher.
It’s also located directly above the final resting place of Marilyn Monroe.
And what’s more, Elsie Poncher is auctioning the tomb on eBay.
The initial bidding began at $500,000. As of this writing eBay Item #320412140795 “Crypt Above Marilyn Monroe For Sale” has received 23 bids and is up to $2,750,600.
Here’s the item’s description:
...Here is a once in a lifetime and into eternity opportunity to spend your eternal days directly above Marilyn Monroe. This crypt in the